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Breaking up is hard to do, as is finding love. When we're searching for love we're on our best game. And when we find the stranger who gives us the butterflies, we want to put all of our charm and wit on display. So we often come up with the best lines to win over our conquest. But what if we kept that charm going once we realized this love is toxic and dead? There can be some... humorous ways to end relations.


For fun, Redditor u/ginogeneli was wondering what the outcome would be if we compared notes about the the things we say in the beginning and the end of a relationship... they asked... If people used "break-up lines" instead of "pick-up lines", what would some of the best ones be?

Be Gone

Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey Mouse Giphy

I'd rearrange the alphabet and move U out of my house.

JonnyRebel357

Handsy...

You know how you're good with your hands? Well, they will come in handy when you are single.

billybobjimmyjoe

Be Not Mine

Giphy

"I'm inviting you to be my ex!"

turquoisepurplepink

Geography

I see an amazing future for the two of us, each living our own lives...

chrisf_nz

You in Florida, me in California.

pinewind108

Closed

Girl, is our relationship a closed gym? Because nothing in it is working out.

Independent_Court430

Split

Girl, our relationship is like your hair. It has split ends.

kniven

Get Verizon

Can You Hear Me Now Hello GIF by P.O.S. Giphy

Girl, are you bad phone reception? Because we are breaking up.

tutiramaiteiwi

All in the Family

I look into your big blue eyes and I can't help but fall head over heels for your sister.

turanzz

Lol. "I look into your beautiful eyes and think, 'Does she have a younger sister?'"

pinewind108

HER!

joan crawford slap GIF Giphy

It's not you, it's your mother.

ThunderC*ntess

Too High Risk

You'd make a terrible loan shark because you've lost my interest.

Alvincay

The End

death GIF Giphy

As I was walking out on my ex yelling at me I calmly said "This is why you're gonna die alone."

Donkey-brained_man

Smokes...

I am going out to grab some cigarettes.

unproudboyz

Dad?

not-today-ahole

POOF!!

music video applause GIF by Lady Gaga Giphy

Wanna see a magic trick? POOF YOU'RE SINGLE! Knock knock... whose there? Not me! Byeeeee!

InterNut07

Bagged

You make me feel like an airline because I'm about to lose your baggage.

Timeformayo

NICE.

"Call me United Airlines, 'cause I'm about to dump your baggage," maybe? I dunno.

fragbert66

Truth

Truth Reaction GIF by moodman Giphy

It's not you, it's not me but it's also not us.

ThirdRepliesSuck

REDDIT

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