Women and men truly are a separate species, each with our own quirks and personalities. While that could be chalked up to individual upbringings combined with societal norms, there also may be something biological at play.
However, sometimes it's easier to meet the person and see what they're like. Bisexuals fortunately have the privilege of interacting with both sexes on an intimate level and, thanks to the internet, reveal the knowledge they've discovered.
Reddit user, u/Rob-ThaBlob, wanted to know:
It's All In The Intensity And Power
I'm a man, and I like both, being with a woman is fun and passionate and smooth, being with a guy is hot and wild, and a lot more intense. Just my opinion
Top or bottom in M/M?
I would consider myself a bottom, Most of the men I have been with have been more aggressive which I like and naturally I respond to a more submissive nature, I find it very fun to not be in control and see what happens, when most of the men I've been with have been much stronger than I, I like to be in control as much as I like to be out of control. I love being with men either way
You Know The Set-Up Pretty Well
In my limited experience I've found that sex with other women is kind of easier. I've just had more practice with vaginas, I know what feels good for me and (so far) it translates easily to what feels good for other women. Sex with men isn't any less pleasurable, it just takes longer for me to figure out what feels good for them, especially since men tend to be less vocal in bed (which is a huge bummer, please don't be afraid to make noise to let your partner know they're doing something right).
Spending time figuring out what a new partner likes can be fun too, but with other women I always feel like I've got a head start (wink wink)
Primal and Instinctive
The differences for me personally are that with men I am more submissive but with women I am wayyyy more dominant. Sex with men feels like a job that just needs to be finished vs with women it feels so primal and instinctive. If that makes sense...
Connection: Not Established
I feel like when I (female) had a one night stand with another female, I always seemed more intimate than a one night stand with a male.
With girls, it just seemed closer for some reason.
With guys, there was always some sort of disconnect.
Power Vs. Fun
Sex with a guy feels way more powerful, and sex with a woman feels more like fun. However, if you in love with her then it's pretty intense.
Also hookups with guys feels much different and almost more sexy
Talk It Over With Your Partner
Iv had a conversation about this with my SO once. We're both [bi] but he's a dude I'm a girl.
for bi guys, sex with men means you got to take something, which is a whole unique experience you may not be into. But also Sex with men doesn't last as long as Sex with women.
For girls, sex with women lasts much longer. Sure you can dominate If you're into that, but unless you got toys, nobody's really on top. Also it's so much easier to tell a girl what you want, and it never hurts like a dude in your a-- would. (Unless you're into that) as you can tell I prefer women in bed. Pretty biased.
For both of us though, the dom and the sub switches. We both prefer to dom women and sub to men.
After A While, You'll Know For Sure
Dudes are pretty easy to get off.
Women take a bit of figuring out.
And with women, you can never be sure they actually got off, too.
There's Power In The Feeling
Men with other men have an intensity of sexual energy unmatched by any other pairing. Generally speaking. It's like an ever intensifying feedback loop. The heights of animalistic lust experienced with f-cking a man are indescribable. Like you can almost feel it permeating the air.
There's a few women I've been with able to replicate this, but not many.
Perhaps It Means Something Different
I'm a big fan of female partners getting rough with me (choking, slapping, etc) but that is totally off limits if I'm with a male partner. I don't know if that's just because I've typically only had flings/one nighters with guys (as opposed to relationships with women) so there's not been the opportunity to build trust, but that's the big difference I've noticed for me.
Guy here. Honestly, the biggest difference is that it's way easier to sleep with a guy than a girl. I have no idea how to go about attracting a woman. I'm pushing 30 and they're still a mystery to me. Guys? It's a lot easier and you don't even have to be very attractive to find someone who'll sleep with you.
Gets The Job Done
Every woman I've slept with doesn't stop until I'm finished.
Can't say that for every man, lol.
Physicality Levels Vary
Other than the obvious... I would say that in sex women are gentle even when they are rough and men are rough even when they are gentle. That's not exactly right.... but its true though. And I don't just mean the act of penetration receiving vs giving. The only thing that doesn't line up with this is receiving oral sex from a man as man, which is amazingly gentle and good (or can be). But giving oral sex... way more physical thanon a woman. Even kissing is somehow more... physical, less gentle. A lot of the other answers are also true.
Act vs. Context
Everyone's different, but in general: Men are about the ACT, women are about the CONTEXT.
If a guy wants to screw you, or wants to do something specific they just want to do it. A freight train could be bearing down on them and they'd go "well, we've got time before it gets here, best not waste it".
What a girl wants to do is very, very much more determined by how she feels about you specifically, how sexy she finds the environment, what else is happening in her life, the fluidity of the communication, and the expectations (or lack thereof) for a relationship.
It's All In The Perception
for me it's a lot like getting dinner
sometimes I want a nice intimate night out with a diverse menu and great service (being with a woman)
and sometimes I'm drunk, it's 3am, and I just need to find a place that's still open (being with a guy)
Like Making Love To A Carpet
In my experience women tend to care more about how they're perceived than dudes do. They doll up, they get sexy, they shave their legs. Guys dont really do that. Most of the time it's like "oh I'm gonna get laid". Even when chicks are just DTF they're not just throwing on sweat pants.
Dudes tend to make awkward small talk more often. Probably because our minds focus on the end goal more than the act. Also, hair EVERYWHERE
Save the planet, shave.
They're Not Radio Knobs
My only real big difference is the nipples. Girls are softer and more sensual, guys tend to play with them like they're trying to twist open a bottle of Coke
Change The Questions
Women don't ask other women "did you come" because 1. they know what a fake orgasm looks like and 2. they know the orgasm is not the whole entire point of sex.
I strongly encourage men to learn from this latter point. Ask "how was it for you' or something. Don't ask "did you come," we don't always and it doesn't mean anything went wrong and it's no big deal unless you insist it is.
Positioning It Right
For me, the biggest difference in the power exchange. With women, I'm way more toppish and with men, way more bottom-ish.
The sex itself is different but mostly just due to the parts.
However,...all of those reasons are why M/F sex is great... because of the sharing of feeling and sensation. And oral can be done as often as partners like. And anyone can and SHOULD learn to read their partners body language.
So, for me... lesbian sex means you take turns focusing on the other person almost exclusively, while hetero sex means you get to enjoy the sensations simultaneously or separately.
At one point in our lives, we have struggled to make ends meet and ate whatever we could to survive.
Curious to hear about the palates from strangers online, Redditor knightfall0 asked:
"What is a poverty food you'll always eat no matter how you're doing in life?"
These typical cultural cuisine are popular favorites.
"Cheap can of corn, cheap can of black beans, 3 cups of cheap rice."
"Tortillas for flair."
"Boom! Poverty tacos."
Magic Of Ramen
"Same. I've eaten expensive restaurant meals that still don't compare to a 25 cent ramen package."
"25 cent ramen package with a boiled egg marinated in soy sauce packets and sugar and some spinach if you have any for some veggie chef kiss cheapest dinner but makes it feel fancy."
What's In The Bowl
"Rice bowls are like half the meals I eat anymore."
Presto, Dinner Is Served!
"Random stuff in my fridge fried rice. Take the veggies that are about to go off, throw in some cheap white rice and an egg with some soy sauce and garlic- boom, dinner."
Bread-based meals seem to be an easy go-to choice.
The Sweet Spot
"The butter, cinnamon and sugar on toast combo. Always a classic."
For The Posh Palate
"Beans on toast and if I'm feeling posh maybe i will put an egg on top."
An American Classic
"PB and J. Hasn't failed me yet."
Good 'Ole Cornbread
"Cornbread and buttermilk. Seem to recall that my maternal great grandmother's house in the the early 1960s had a manual pump in the kitchen, an outhouse and oil lamps, no electricity! There was a big stump for splitting wood for the heat and killing chickens. Relatives had tractors but at least one still worked with draft horses...big horses. NE TN. And my Mother would eat salt sandwiches."
"I do like cornbread, various peas and beans and greens...a lot!"
Who said traditional side dishes can't be the main attraction? These folks, that's who.
"Mac and cheese with hotdogs or sloppy joes were top tier. I remember having to be careful to not take too much meat/noodles since we only had one can/box to share."
"If I had a million dollars, we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner (but we would eat Kraft Dinner)"
This Spud's For You
"Potatoes. Cheap, tasty and filling."
"Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew."
Instant ramen has come a long way. I go to one of several local Japanese markets here in Manhattan and there are literally aisles of a variety of ramen and yakisoba, my personal favorite, stocked on shelves to choose from.
Yakisoba is basically "fried" noodles. It is "instant" because you basically soften the noodles with boiling water and drain it after three minutes.
The sauce packets that come with some of these are an absolute delight, and I usually add scallions or even a hard-boiled egg.
It is cheap, simple to prepare, and absolutely delicious.
As adults, especially those who work with or have kids of their own, we have a responsibility to mold the young minds that will go on to be the adults of tomorrow. They are our future, and we owe it to them to raise adults that will be respectful and kind community members.
There are plenty of things we were taught as kids that we thought were harmless at the time. But years later those same things have become an issue.
We went to ask Reddit to learn about those issues that we should change for the next generation.
Redditor Ok-Department5749 asked:
"What should we stop teaching young children?"
Let's see how many of these things you heard when you were growing up.
Boys will be boys.
"That if someone is picking on them it means they like them. Gonna set them up for a lot of problems later in life."
"I have a personal beef with this one. The boy who harassed me because he 'just liked me' is now in prison for assault."
"Yep. I had my hair pulled and punched by a boy in third grade. Was told by both teacher and principal that it wasn't a big deal. Boys do that all the time and bedsides he probably just liked me."
"I hate that 'boys will be boys' crap."
"Boys will be boys is for when you and the boys decide to use plywood as a bike ramp, not when someone sexually assaults someone else."
You can't be everyone's friend, and that's okay.
"That everyone is your friend. It's not true. I had to tell my 9 year old niece that sometimes people aren't going to like her and it's just how it is. This broke her heart because there's a boy in her class who doesn't like her and she's been trying to win him over. She's so sweet and I hated having to tell her that."
"I am an ECE who works with school-age kids. My line is 'we aren't all friends here, and that is ok, but we have to treat everybody with respect/kindly'. I see lots of ECE's use the 'friend' terminology ex 'we don't hit our friends' 'your friends are trying to sleep'. I avoid the terminology like the plague."
"I've seen it backfire. I had a 7-year old tell me that it was ok that she hurt another child because the other child wasn't her friend (This was this particular child's first year with us)."
"This is great because it helps kids learn to treat others with respect while also helping them manage their own expectations about immediately being friends with/like by everyone (which obviously isn't the case). It's a gentle introduction to reality that will save them a lot of trouble down the line. I mean, I really wish I had been taught to build confidence in myself rather than my confidence depending on whether or not other people liked/approved of me."
"The 2nd part to that lesson is learning that a relationship is only worth your time if both people like each other."
"More importantly, if both people respect each other."
Older doesn't always mean wiser.
"That just because someone's older doesn't mean they are right."
"Maybe we should teach the older generation that just because someone is younger doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about. That is the problem I've seen."
"My husband's grandma gets mad when she's wrong. She always yells 'Respect your elders!'"
"Umm being wrong is just that. You find a correction and move on. Also, respect isn't just given. If you can't treat others the right way, no matter how many times you scream that stupid phrase at me, I won't respect you."
Consent is important in all contexts.
"That not wanting to hug someone is rude."
"I have four nieces and see this happen to them a lot. The youngest one doesn't always remember me. Her older sisters give me hugs with delight and I always tell the youngest to hug me when she's okay with it. I hate hugging people when I don't want to so I'm not gonna subjugate her to something no one can stand. It's so freaking weird."
"Glad someone said this. Children need to be able to say no to unwanted physical contact."
Stop forcing your kids to eat.
"To finish the food on your plate if you're not still hungry. Note: don't waste food. Save leftovers if you can."
"Was going to say the same thing. Kids are allowed to not like foods the same as adults. We have a 2 bite rule. I don't like avocado, so I don't eat it. My stepdaughter doesn't like green beans so I just don't put them on her plate. I never understood this or the clean plate thing. That can lead to eating disorders later on."
"Also doesn't help with sensory issues."
"My partner just can't handle the texture of 99% of vegetables. So I work around it with veggie noodles and blending vegetables. Since I love to cook, I love the challenge of making something healthy but working around the texture thing (I also have an aversion to some vegetables. Like cauliflower. I can't.)"
"To that end, cooking things in different ways is paramount. Don't just boil some green beans and call it a day. I used to hate collard greens until my mom made 'boozy' greens (I forgot what she put in them for liquor). Other people just boiled them and slapped them on a plate, but what she did was just more harmonious. Complex. Satisfying."
"Once I heard my aunt tell my nieces that they needed to eat everything on their plates, even if they didn't like it, because "someday you're going to start dating and you don't want boys to think you are a picky eater." I had a conversation with my own daughter later about how wrong that statement was."
"My brain audibly broke when I read that. Thank you for telling your daughter how wrong your aunt was."
"Those 'zero tolerance policies' where you get detention because someone punched you in the back of the head make any f*cking sense."
"I've never even heard a valid argument for this. It's always, 'You MUST have done something to incite this.' Like no, some people are just a**holes and you shouldn't be punished for their actions."
"The sole point of this is, and has always been, for school administrators to escape responsibility."
"We had a student break the zero tolerance policy. He got jumped in the hallway, threw his hands out to his sides away from the attacker, and screamed that he wasn't fighting back and that he needed help. Once he went to the floor, he balled up and kept yelling. He was a bigger kid than his attacker and could have handled it, but chose to take the hits."
"When he got called to the office and the zero tolerance policy was brought up, he pointed out that he never fought back, screamed that he wouldn't to de-escalate the situation, and that he needed help like students are taught to do when they are being bullied. Having done everything right, it wasn't a fight, it was an assault and if they punished him for being assaulted under their care, his parents would be blasting this everywhere they could."
"He never got punished and the other kid was expelled."
It's out responsibility to care about the young people in our lives and raise them to be respectful members of the community. It starts with us.
Now that we know better, we must do better.
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People often daydream about the easy life, where they can live in the lap of luxury.
"What would be your first purchase if you came into serious 'f'k you' money?"
People seem to want to be rich enough to live in seclusion.
This Land Is My Land
"Four sections of good pastureland. For those who don't know, that's 2,560 acres, 4 square miles. I'd build in the dead center and never have a neighbor less than a mile from me."
Float In My Moat
"i'd put in a lazy river that ran around the perimeter of my property."
My Own Private Island
"A big old f'k off island a float plane and a self sustained off grid community. Open my fishing camp."
Niche indulgences is the name of the game.
Get You A Fast Car
"SO has always dreamt of driving a Porsche. A very specific model, color, etc. He has it as his screen saver. I would get him that car."
"Paying off the land my husband died protecting so that we can build something to honor him by. Specifically turning it into a retreat for combat vets and active duty members."
"Hire a team of architects to design a big house and put in a bunch of secret passageways and rooms and not tell me how to find them so I can have fun discovering them over time."
"I'd buy a cul-de-sac of posh houses, gate if off and have my friends live there. They all work from home so doesn't matter where."
"Then one day, there will be deliveries to all the houses. Paintball guns. Masks. The full month."
"And as the clock strikes noon that day, I will have a loud battle cry (haven't decided the sound yet) play on a huge speaker."
"I don't need to tell them this is a battle to the death. They will already know..."
These Redditors were concerned about self-preservation without the stress of incurring massive debt.
Take Care Of My Health
"Go to the dentist, optometrist, and doctor without worrying that whatever needs to be done won't cause financial ruin."
"A good lawyer to get me set up for life."
Settle Debts And Drive Off Into The Sunset
"First purchase? Freedom: pay off student loans, mortgage, and any other debt. Can't think of a bigger f'k you :) then a couple Teslas lol"
If I ever came into a ridiculous amount of money, I would first build a retreat somewhere in Venice, Italy, and frequently host a masquerade ball where everyone is required to show up in Venetian Carnivale attire—just short of becoming an Eyes Wide Shut moment.
Then, I would build a luxury home in Tokyo, complete with a theater academy where new productions would constantly be workshopped at night while aspiring young performers hone their skills throughout the day in the many classes taught by my colleagues.
And my home base? Why, it would be near the beaches of Malibu in SoCal, of course.
I would bounce between my three properties in my own private jet.
It's not a big ask, is it?
Most inventions were made with the idea to bring progress to humanity, not to harm it. However, that is not always how things turn out. A prime -and sad- example of this can be found in the life of Alfred Nobel. Most people know his name as the creator of the Nobel Peace prize without a second thought as to what drove him to make such an award.
The tragic truth is that Alfred Nobel invented dynamite with the intent to help with industrial uses. After seeing the horrendous usage of his invention to kill so many people so easily he lived the rest of his life under the weight of an all-consuming regret. That led him to use his fortune to create an award for those who have done incredible things for humanity and peace.
Redditor IndependentHungry840 wanted to know other inventions that met a harmful ending and asked:
“What invention has done more harm than good?"
Constant media panic…
“24 hour news media. It is absolutely one of the most toxic, miasmic, foul things we could have ever come up with." wiredsignal
“What makes it worse is the "news" isn't just news, it's ONLY bad news. There's never an hour of only uplifting, happy stories that happened today. It's just a constant barrage of fear-mongering and misery." AdamNRG
Lead poisoning causes lower IQ and behavior disruption…
“There used to be lead in gasoline; they thought it would improve engine performance. Not only did it ruin people's lungs, many believe that it caused an increase in violent crime, because things like muggings almost disappeared after lead was taken out of gas.” doowgad1
“I'm pretty sure it was proven that after the invention of leaded gasoline, the average IQ dropped. And leaded gas was around for a pretty long time.” Marksman18
“Violent crime massively spiked in the US from about 1970-2000, right when atmospheric lead concentration spiked as well.” Agent_Orange7
Smoking is just bad all the way around…
“Cigarettes. Supposed to relieve stress and help the user feel in control due the nicotine inside which is of course highly addictive. Not to mention the myriad of other harmful things inside of them (Methanol/Rocket Fuel, Arsenic, Stearic Acid/Candle Wax, etc.)" Toa-Magnus
“The worst part is, cigarettes replaced tobacco pipes, which have substantially lower health risks, due to the fact that you don't inhale from a pipe at all, just "sip" the smoke and blow."
“Cigarettes' ease of use and popularity has also lead to tons of small tobacco growers just going straight out of business because the high temps cigs burn at and the filtered tip make the actual quality of the tobacco "less important" insofar as our friend Big Tobacco is concerned. Not to mention that same accessibility making childhood smoking much easier to pick up and hide."
“If you're a long-time smoker and have trouble quitting, you could at least consider transitioning to pipes, the learning curve isn't steeper than a few nights in google, and the smoke smells way better for bystanders than everyone's favorite acrid cancer stick. I mean, it ain't good for you, but it's leagues better than cigarettes." Strudel_Meister
This right here!
“Private prisons, the peak of modern slavery, prisons are meant to be reforming facilities/keeping criminals in check, not a business but if your country thought slavery was okay back then, why it wouldn't work now.” PsychologicalTart602
Education time: Part of the dehumanizing experiences to which prisoners are subjected work to only further isolate them from society making it more difficult to reintegrate upon release. The psychological damage and lack of prosocial connectivity coupled with social stigma and scare resources helps ensure a continuation of the crime cycle with extraordinarily high recidivism rates.
This means the United States prisons stay full so they can keep lining the pockets of the private ownership essentially incentivizing the people who run these correctional facilities to keep any true rehabilitative programming to a bare minimum.
Asbestos, not the fire proof miracle we thought…
“Asbestos insulation." Ancient-Pause-99
“I live where the asbestos mine just shut down ten years ago. You can't get your house tested for asbestos because it's literally in everything, so even brand new houses would test positive from the surroundings. All the other rocks from the mine were used all over in sidewalks, roads, Street lamps, etc.” RoselleLS
Eli Whitney’s inventions…
“Whitney's cotton gin in the 1790's. Made slavery profitable. When I took a class on antebellum economics a argument that had support was that before the 1790s slavery was in decline.” CSMURPHRUN
“Then Eli went on to develop mass production and gave it to the North allowing them to mass produce rifles with interchangeable parts. This led to the North's victory. Eli Whitney had arguably the largest impact on American history of any single person. Essentially providing the tools to start the civil war then end it.” Louis_A_Devil
Social Media Platforms…social media followers GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphy
“Social media ironically has made it harder to actually socialize with people and imo is responsible for a huge portion of social anxiety around the world." BradRogriguez
|“The issues caused by social media are much deeper than just lack of in-person connection and social anxiety. Mental health overall in teens and young adults is on a decline, and misinformation is spreading rampantly, people are even more divided than ever ideologically” kiwidog8|
“the original social media."
“The guy who invented the megaphone said he felt responsible for Hitler's rise. Before that, the most people you could really talk to at once was like 100. After that, one speech can reach millions.” skeetsauce
“Oh sh*t. The megaphone was the original social media.” Shermione
The lie detector test…
“Polygraph test. Its a stress test, in no way was it ever supposed to a ‘lie detector’. The inventor was beyond horrified and destroyed at the ‘monstrous misuse of his technology by law enforcement’.” MurrayMan92
“I think the way Keurig has evolved is hilarious. They started with the hugely wasteful cups that lots of people used. Eventually people realized how wasteful they were and pressured Keurig to make reusable cups. Now they're just a normal coffee machine.”
“They came from nowhere, invented a new technology, and eventually just ended up using the same old technology as their competitors and somehow ended up coming out on top” Lemon_Tile
While good intentions proceeded these inventions there certainly were grave consequences. It shows the bad sides of humanity in that if it can be weaponized it will be.
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