The movie Sixteen Candles is a pretty accurate representation of all of the stupid things we really all hope never happen on our personal birthdays.
But the world waits for no one. All people will likely experience some unfortunate circumstances on their birthdays.
And these are their stories.
u/NerdInABush asked:
What unfortunate things have happened to you on your birthday?
Here were some of those answers.
Four Is A Hard Year
GiphyMy fourth birthday. In a school play and at the end everyone surprised me by singing happy birthday... I panicked and peed myself. In front of the entire school and all the parents.
My shame will never die.
Me Vs. Phil
My birthday is sep 1st, on my birthday 3 years ago I asked my best friend "You know what day it is?" And they casually responded "yeah Dr. Phil's birthday" I was both disappointed and happy to know that I have the same birthday as Dr. Phil, my best friend forgot my birthday, and my friend watches Dr. Phill.
What. A. Jerk.
It was my 8th birthday. My mom, my sister, and I spent like the whole day making a princess castle cake. It was the best thing ever, at least to my 8-year-old self. At the party some annoying little kid stuck his finger in the back and made a hole in it. I have never forgiven that kid.
Beyond A Reasonable Cake
I got arrested on my 39th birthday. My ex was pissed that I wouldn't get back together with her, so when the cops arrested her for stealing the grates from a car wash (there was video of her and another woman stealing the grates) she told them it was me. They picked me up on my birthday. Long story short, I was able to prove beyond doubt that it wasn't me, but it still sucked.
The Middle Of Winter
Senior year of high school, got mono. Missed a grand total of 4 days of school cause February vacation was most of it. But I was too sick to celebrate my birthday or play in the jazz band the one and only time we performed at a night club
Junior year of college, had Matchbox Twenty tickets; too sick to go
When I turned 30, I'd had enough of being sick on/around my birthday so I started celebrating it in August instead.
Derp Derp Derp
Nothing tragic, more humourous.
We were in Mexico for a friends wedding....and ended up leaving the day of my 30th birthday...
3 hours into the morning..my husband has yet to say Happy Birthday.
First person to say anything...the ticket agent at the airport who checked my passport.
Rude Parents
me: why are we doing a surprise party for uncle?
mom: because its a nice thing to do
me: but he specifically said he didn't want a party
mom: stop being rude, you know what, now you don't get a birthday party this year
me: D:
I was like 10 btw
Necessary Self Care
My birthdays stopped being a big deal for me about fifteen years ago so I stopped taking them off work if they fell on a workday. Until 2017.
I am an anesthetist and I was working the call shift, finishing up my last case for the evening (so I thought). Was just waking that patient and looking forward to a nice dinner with my husband at home when my coworker walked in and said "Hold up. We've got a gunshot wound coming in through the ER."
I spent the last four hours of my birthday resuscitating a 15 year old victim of a gang-related shooting and decided I wasn't going to spend another birthday like that.
The kid survived but that birthday sucked. I take vacation that entire week now.
Less Internalized Shame In 2019
I spent my 20th birthday in jail for pot. I'd went in two days before and just didn't call my parents or anybody. I was at a low point and I got all "this is my life now" about it, and that's so weird to think about, considering I live in a legal state now. Like I'd actually done something to be ashamed of.
A Literal Ransom
GiphyMy car got towed while I was seeing a concert on my birthday. I was stupid and parked in a grocery store parking lot to avoid a $30 parking fee.
I had to uber to the tow truck company at 1 in the morning in the fringes if los angeles to find out that I couldn't get the car unless if I paid the man who towed me $450 IN F*CKING CASH. He could take card, but would only do so if the car was registered to me. The car was registered to my dad.
This leads to me walking a mile and a half to the closest atm in a sketchy neighborhood to withdraw the cash. I had to wake up my parents by calling them and asking for more cash cause I didn't have enough in my account at the time.
I got the car back by 2:30 AM and my bank account was $450 lighter. I've never wanted to commit an act of extreme crime or vandalism against a business until that night. Tow truck companies are the scum of the earth and I truly wish ill will upon them and their families. They make their living off of being predators and charging ridiculous ransom sums of money.
Redditor Throwaway4561947373 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on dating options, so they asked:
"Would you ever date a pornstar? Why or why not?"
I did briefly date a porn star.
It was fun. But I'm way too jealous.
Schedule
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"I dated a stripper. Her schedule was the real deal breaker. Well, that and her cocaine addiction, but that's beside the point."
C-C-C-Coolah
"The schedule thing was kind of nice at first because I value my alone time, but after a while the showing up at my house at 530am before I went to work was starting to make me feel really gross."
C-C-C-Coolah
No Mas
"I dated a stripper once. Craziest couple of months of my life. I still have no idea how old she is or what her actual life story is/was. The sex was shockingly tame, but she did have awesome ti*s. Not a chapter in my life I’d like to revisit tho haha."
Climate_Face
"I had a roommate who was dating a stripper and eventually dating her 'show partner' at the same time. It was a very wild 5 months where he got almost no sleep (schedule thing, not sex thing) and eventually said 'no mas.' Turned out there was too much of a good thing."
ksuwildkat
Wild
"I don’t think I personally could. Little too wild of a lifestyle/profession for me."
JessiePeteWhite
"Also, just imagining dealing with the fans that come from dating a regular celebrity makes me feel uneasy. The kind of people who'd seek out a pornstar in public would be a whole other level of cringe."
Poignant_Porpoise
"I wonder how you envisage their lifestyle. Plenty of them live normal lives and just go to work like anyone else. And especially with how many are independent these days the work is a lot more in their control and safer."
Athaelan
Patreon
"I dated a girl who sold nudes on Patreon back in the day. When we first started dating I knew she had nudes up on deviant art, bit didn't know about the Patreon. She never liked going out during the day except if we went to the movies. One day I got the tines for the different theaters mixed up."
"Got there, the next shoeing was in an hour, so we said f**k it and went to the cafeteria (the theater was attached to a mall) and ate some food. Some random chubby dude comes out excited and out of breath calling her by her handle saying he buys a bunch of her pictures and he couldn't believe he was meeting her."
"We were both frozen. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to scare the guy off or let her try to make another sale while she thought I was gonna be pi**ed that she didn't tell me about her Patreon. We laughed about it later."
AshyBoneVR4
About the $$$
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Thought about dating a stripper but even outside the club when we just hang out as friends she’s very monetary about everything. If I have to pay a service fee to hang out with you then I’d rather just not."
Keyguin
Always follow the money.
That's where the truth is.
Work
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"No, because I'd feel like I was asking them to work whenever I wanted to have sex. I never said it was a rational thought, people."
Froticlias
Do what you Gotta!
"I dated a porn star for a bit. he was straight but did mostly gay shoots because it's higher paid. when he would tell me he had a good day at work it usually would mean that everyone was being cooperative or something funny happened."
night-gloss
"I have a friend that’s a porn star, and she said sex on set is very different from sex with someone you love/care about."
Gogh619
"That makes sense, but I could still imagine feeling like you’ve been touched and simulated so much that doing it more seems overwhelming, even if emotionally you would want to do it. And if you’re a guy you might not have much left in the tank so to speak."
Leet_Noob
For Love
"It's easy to say I wouldn't judge but in all honesty pretty sure many people wouldn't be comfortable, some would be I guess but most wouldn't. I think it all falls down to when you are dating them if you are truly in love enough to allow this or well maybe you like they do that anyway, it's really hard to say in real life."
DemonCyborg27
Lack of Potential
"Definitely not. Whenever I've dated someone, I've been at least open to the possibility of it potentially turning into marriage and a family; I would not want my kids to have to deal with that. Can you imagine going through your teens, with people sending you clips of your mum doing whatever to and with whoever? Your teenage years can be a tough enough experience by their own merit; let alone adding in that crap."
J-in-the-UK
A Current Affair
"A former pornstar and I wouldn't have an issue, we all have a past after all. An active pornstar though would be a serious no from me. I know I wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another person while they are with me, it being their job wouldn't matter."
votemarvel
Well to each their own.
Just be nice about people's choices.
