Strangers online had a discussion over a hypothetical when Redditor Infinity-X78 asked:
"Your ex calls you and says they miss you, How would you react?"
The window of redemption has expired.
We Are Gathered Here Today
"Amazed, flabbergasted! She's D E A D"
– spook7886
"Don’t trust her."
– NYVines
"means she tried find better but couldnt and now is desperate"
"not worthy of your trust."
– codeboss911
Class Reunion
"My last 'ex' was from 1989 so I would be shocked and confused if the girl I went to prom with a lifetime ago called me."
– TraditionalLock7846
"Ha my Mom had to call her first husband about 20-25 years after they separated because my dad's health insurance found out that she never got divorced from him when she needed her breast implants removed for medical reasons. She thought he filed he thought she filed. He had been married for a while and so had my parents. Only found out about all of this when I woke up one day to a note that said 'went to Arkansas to marry your Dad. Be back soon.' And this was before cell phones were common, so I had to wait like 8 hours to get answers."
– FluffyOwl30
Time for some mischief.
Wrong Number
"After they talked for a while, just act slightly confused and say 'sorry, number isn’t saved. Who’s this?'”
–No_Possession_9314
"I keep every number so I don't have to have the 'New phone, who this?' conversation. If it's someone I don't want to talk to, especially if it's someone I don't want knowing if it's still my current number, I just don't answer."
– F'kHopeSignedMe
Ignore It
"I would miss the call. I don't answer calls from strangers."
– effingusername123
"Reminds me of a quote:"
"'Not friends, not enemies. Just strangers with some memories.' - anonymous"
– OP
The Song Says It All
"'Now you're just somebody that I used to know.' - Australian guy that was popular for 6 seconds, and has been sitting on a pile of residuals for a decade."
– shanster925
"I too am a fan of Got'em"
– zoidy37
"Hearts a mess by gotye slaps."
– Background_Artist_85
Some people were strongly against giving second chances.
Some Advice
"As someone who took the bait, don't."
– CpuJunky
"True. Never go back to what broke you, especially after you've healed."
"Going back to an ex is like opening the fridge and taking a sip of sour, spoiled milk and putting it back in the fridge in hopes that the next day it would be fresh."
– Infinity-X78
Avoiding The Same Drama
"A therapist once told me 'Don’t go back to a poison well just because it’s the only water you’ve known.'"
"Honestly changed my life."
– BrotherOfTheOrder
Changing For The Worse
"Oof, same. She said she learned from her mistakes and changed, but she was more hurtful and selfish the second time around lol"
– Mycatstolemyidentity
"If you ever have a moment of weakness, always remind yourself about why you broke up in the first place."
– Creative_Recover
Some people had an easy time getting things off their chest.
I Hear You, But...
"I miss you, too. You were, and are, the love of my life. And I know you loved me. But you were so very bad at it. Goodbye."
– thedreadedaw
"Damn. Having reluctantly broken up with my ex because he very, very clearly lost every last shred of interest in me, this one hit me hard."
– sassyphrass
"This is really beautiful. The realness of this response"
– gbourg12
Call From The Ex-Wife
"My wife left me and after a year and a half called back. Asked if I ever think about her. I said of course, but...we are not a good fit. Plus, I am a changed man and I'm no longer the same guy you knew before."
– series_hybrid
"Mine did the same but we got back together lol."
– gt4674b
Maintaining solid relationships take work.
But depending on how bad they are, it shouldn't cause constant stress and anxiety.
Breakups, in this case, are necessary, and it's not about giving up.
It's about moving on and saving your sanity.
So when an ex calls from out of the blue, it may come from a place of being lonely or pining for the good memories of a lost relationship.
Go with your gut, and be aware that with a few exceptions, people don't really change.
Dating an ex actually has a term: backsliding.
But, if you end up rekindling a relationship that previously ended badly and it is a huge improvement, then you won the love lottery.
Strangers online revisited their dating history to share their lowest point in a relationship after Redditor thedamned234 asked:
"What is the worst thing your EX said during the breakup?"
These Redditors were kicked while they were down.
There are Options
"I can have any guy in this room, why would I want to be with you."
– wyoflyboy68
"No, you can f'k every guy in this room. It's different."
– PinceTancredi
Dispensible
"After I financially supported her for three years, I paid the travel expenses for American Idol auditions and one America's Got Talent audition. After I nursed her through her recovery after gastric bypass surgery, she said this,"
"You are worthless and I don't have time for you anymore."
– Elle12881
Actions Hurt The Most
"Abusive relationship for 3 years. Finally had enough and broke up with her after taking her to dinner. She got hostile (again) and I literally f'king ran out the restaurant. The worst was her screaming my name while driving in circles around the casino parking lot, honking the horn. She was not sad. She was angry as f'k."
– chaoticneutraldood
Trust issues were at the heart of these problematic relationships.
Hurting Before Getting Hurt
"Justifying her cheating because she thought I was cheating on her."
"I wasn't."
– TopTurtleWorld
"My girlfriend has been accusing me of cheating the last few months. I’ve been depressed and kind of distant, but I still only want her. My greatest fear in life is this. I don’t know what that says about my relationship and self-esteem but here we are."
– VANY11A
Just Someone She Lived With
"My last ex left me for the person she was cheating on me with, after 3 years together. When she came to get the last of her stuff, she would only talk about how she was worried she'd screwed up things with her new partner, cause he didn't know she was with me at the time. She'd lied to him and just said I was someone she lived with."
"She wasn't even sorry about what she'd done to me, just that it was causing problems with the person she actually cared about. Been hard to feel good about myself since then."
– Cheesus333
These words sting the most.
Oof!
"I wish we never met."
– Skyx10
"I usually get something similar from enemies and my brother"
– thedamned234
Undesireable
"My 2nd two year relationship, 'I feel disgusted when I touch you' that ate at me for a while. Much healthier and happy spot now."
– khadmon
By The Way
"Well, it is better than 'I'm breaking up with you because Im getting married tomorrow, please leave or I'll file a restraining order.' After 5 years in a relationship."
– sam-sung
Father Figure
"You'll never be a great father (before I even had children)."
"No reason why she should have said that except I held off having children with her because she was a heavy smoker and lied about quitting. I am now a father of two in a happy marriage of 9+ years. My kids tell me they love me every night and I spend almost all my money on them making memories, not stuff."
– cubsfanrva79
Consolation Prize
"After 5 and a half years: 'I was just afraid I would end up alone, so I settled for you.' Immediately after the break up she had a new boyfriend."
– kokosnoot32
Roommates With Benefits
"6 years and she used the same line on me as she did with the guy before me."
"We were just roommates who f'ked for the last 6 months"
"I'd bought us our firat house 3 months before."
"Over a year later and I'm still broken mess."
– accused_throwaway22
There's no way to soften the blow when it's time to breakup with someone–the worst of which happens when it's a unilateral decision.
Although I give compassion points for those who are not hostile during breakups, it doesn't help when they say, "It's not you it's me."
Like, that makes things so much better.
What do you think is the gentlest and honest way to breakup with someone?
Reddit user katmio1 asked:
"Your ex texts 'I’m dating someone better than you.' How would you respond?"
We don't know if they were asking because they had gotten that text and needed a snappy comeback, but they certainly got all of Reddit's wisdom, sarcasm, and awful-ex stories; so they've got plenty of material to work with if that was the case.
Why Would I?
"I don't respond. Why would I?"
"That kind of text is meant to get petty reactions and it's not worth my time. The fact that they're still thinking about me enough to try to rub something in my face is pathetic."
- WoodlesMoodles
"Silence is power."
- Thebadmamajama
"Exactly. If the ex is so happy with their new partner, why the f*ck is he/she bothering you?"
"Actual happy people go about their lives and have better things to do than text their exes how happy they are."
- PotatoAlternative947
GiphyWasting Time
" 'You really shouldn't waste time thinking about people who never think about you.' "
- Gonergonegone
"That's a very pointed way of saying 'I've moved on WTF is your problem? Grow up and get over it.' I like it."
- Misdirected_Colors
GiphyThe Opposite Of Love
" 'I'm happy for you.' "
"The only reason they are texting you this is to get a reaction. Don't give it to them."
- Slack76r
"One of my good friends once said the best way to react to an ex is indifference. That will bother them the most.”
"It's so true."
- Boringdad
"The opposite of love is not hate. Those are both strong emotions that come from caring about someone."
"The opposite of love is indifference."
- Zeyn1
GiphyLegitimate Joy
"This actually happened to me after I broke up with a guy!"
"He was telling me how much smarter his new girlfriend was than me and I was just so overjoyed that he has moved on that I was beaming and congratulating him!"
"In retrospect, it would have been kinder to look a little jealous, but I was so relieved to be done with him bugging me that my reaction was legitimate joy!"
- chihuahua-mama
GiphyOld Toys
" 'I was taught to donate my old toys to the less fortunate.' "
- CaViDeM20
"The mission was to answer, not to kill lol"
- _Lemurian_
"This one’s as old as time and kills every. single. time. Fatality."
- Common-Consequence-6
GiphyRuPaul's Words Of Wisdom
" 'Good for you. Don't fuck this one up' "
- lokishhhake
"That is more or less what I said to my ex-husband when he rang me just to tell me he had a girlfriend. Then I asked for her name so I could pray for her."
- frahnley
"Lmao. The girl my ex-husband thought was worth breaking us up over was apparently ‘the one.’ I said something similar."
"He f*cked it up within 8 months. Idiot."
- bunnykitten94
GiphyLower-case For Maximum Impact
"K."
"Whenever someone replies 'k' I feel like it shuts the conversation down."
- Wooowaaat
"My favorite part of just typing 'K' is it shows they're not even worth the time it would take to type the second letter. It probably wouldn't even be capitalized if your messaging app didn't do that automatically."
"Truly the perfect response."
- Pammyhead
"I go for the lowercase k, because it shows I've gone to the effort to show I don't care..."
- Tomatetoes97
GiphyBetter For Them
" 'Good. I told you you'd find the right person for you.' "
"Your ex never finds someone better than you. They find someone who is better for them than you were."
"I wish my most recent ex nothing but happiness, and I hope it works out with the girl he's been talking to because they seem like a good match."
- scaly_friends_4me
GiphyThe Combo
"A combination approach:"
" 'I think It's a little sad I'm still such a significant person in your life after all this time and that you felt the need to reach out.' "
" 'I'm glad you've found someone else and I hope you can make this time work for at least a little while. With enough luck, soon, your new partner might find someone better too.' "
" 'Happy Holidays, Your Ex' "
"Followed by a block."
- Son_of_Wallace
GiphyJosh
"I’ve had this happen. Except my ex texted me saying 'You were right to tell me I would find someone else. Who will make me happy.' ”
"I don’t even know how he got my number at that time. We weren’t talking for a few years at this point."
"I wrote him back and said I hoped all was well thinking that would be the end of it."
"But I am not done with this story yet!"
"He writes back 'It isn’t like I’m going to marry the girl I’m with right now anyway.' ”
"Then he tries to flirt with me!"
"I screenshot his texts, sent them to his ex, and told him off."
"She didn’t believe me at first because my ex deleted the messages he sent me. Not the ones where I told him off, though. He made it look like *I* was contacting *him.* "
"Then the girlfriend who I tried to warn told me off and blocked me when I warned her."
"Not even a week and a half later he dumped her."
"Then cheated on that new-new girlfriend and went out with someone else whom he now has a kid with."
"I found out that after dating me he would propose to girls he was dating. Not because he thought he was in love. He did it so they would sleep with him."
"F*ck you Josh."
- InformallyGuavaCado
GiphyWooooow.
I mean, we love to end on a story but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW JOSH.
Wow.
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