Sleeping naked on sumptuous high thread-count sheets is one of those things that's billed as an ultimate moment of sensual bliss - but for some people it's the ultimate NOPE.
This article is for you never-nude sleepers - and the people who just don't get you.
Reddit user kellogg888 asked:
"People who don't sleep naked, why?"
We'll start with the obvious and maybe most relatable reason for people living with family - NOBDOY KNOWS HOW TO KNOCK!
Family Frustrationsknock the big bang theory GIFGiphy
"Because family members don't know how to f*cking knock that's why."
"Honestly mine don't either. I just let them learn their lesson."
"Don't knock? You see something that'll scare you for life. Your fault not mine. I have no shame."
"Family is it."
"I used to sleep naked and free and then got on the dating scene again. Dated a woman with kids and - you never know who's gonna have a bad dream and come cuddle - or what midnight emergency may come along."
"Now, even though I am no longer with a woman with kids - I stay prepared for midnight emergencies. Now that I can afford comfy PJ's it's really kind of nice."
"Also I'm not flat-bellied and twenty anymore."
A Sweaty Situation
"If I have skin touching skin, it sweats a lot."
"I don't like to spread my arms and legs. I like to curl up in a ball on my side."
"My arms touch my sides. My stomach touches my upper thighs. My thighs touch each other. I don't want all of that to become a big hot sweaty mess."
"This right here, I've tried sleeping naked before and every time it's been super uncomfortable cuz of this."
"Can confirm. There’s definitely a strong correlation between how naked I sleep and how sweaty I get."
"General discharge too"
"Yeah stuff comes out of me sometimes and I can’t have it roaming free in my bed"
"Trans man. Also blood lol"
"Also woman, my #1 reason is a likely irrational but nevertheless EXTREMELY strong fear of spiders crawling in somewhere they don't belong."
"I am always cold!"
"Some nights I even layer 2 pairs of socks. Meanwhile my Fiancé is sleeping in the same room just his undies."
"My wife had a hysterectomy which forced her into menopause, so her temperature regulation is f'ed up to say the least. Hot flashes are a way of life."
"I had to put a window AC unit in put bedroom so she wouldn't die."
"Me? I have all the covers, a fleece blanket, flannel lounge pants and a shirt during the summer so I can sleep. If I don't have all that I will freeze to death."
"My fiancee sleeps naked, I don't mind. But I also don't understand it..."
"Like HOW are you not freezing??"
"I have very comfy, very warm sleepwear. Heck, sometimes if it's really cold, I'll wear a whole sweater to bed. Or steal her blanket."
"So I have lazy-sleep clothes, a sweater AND two blankets to sleep with and she's there just naked and comfy."
"What if a there’s an earthquake in the middle of night and I have to run?"
"My uncle used to sleep naked. Until his trailer caught fire in the middle of the night and he had to run butt naked to some old woman's house and convince her to open the door or call 911."
"Didn't help that he's a gun guy, so all his ammo was firing in the background."
"I was a kid when this happened. The whole idea just makes me nervous."
"One night my wife and I were having sexy time that ended with us going to sleep naked. The next morning we were woken up early by a 5.7 magnitude earthquake."
"There we are, both naked, trying to get to our two kids, not get hurt by things falling down/broken glass."
"My wife vowed to never sleep naked again as she now has a fear of earthquakes and I now have a hate of earthquakes since they took naked cuddles away from me."
"We had a house fire a few weeks ago. I was so thankful that I was wearing leggings that night and my husband was wearing sweatpants."
"That gave us at least a days worth of clothes before we could hit Target for another outfit."
PaintbrushingTrue Story Art GIFGiphy
"Because the tip of my penis touching the bedding drives me insane."
"Agreed. I told my girlfriend it feels like my penis is 'paint brushing' the bed."
"Or when I shift positions and my meat and veg all rearrange into a new lineup on my other leg. The feeling is just distracting. I'd rather have them in a nice soft support hammock."
"It's like when you wear those horrible PE shirts back in school and had to run around a lot. The nipple burn... but on my penis."
"It makes me feel too vulnerable. Even though I’m totally safe, I just feel too exposed."
"Ah so much scrolling to find this."
"My mind gets restless with made up scenarios until I’m like 'ok, I’ll put some soft pajamas on' and then I fall asleep instantly."
"It’s the same for me."
"I wish I could feel comfortable enough to do it, but I just don’t feel right trying to sleep naked. The few times I tried, I always woke up in the middle of the night shivering and feeling anxious."
"Yes! Thank you for understanding! I don't feel safe if I'm exposed and as a result can't sleep. I know I'm in my own house and totally safe, it's just this weird vulnerability thing."
A Renaissance Fest Battle Axe
"I slept naked for a long time and I was always waking up hot or cold. Pajamas fixed the issue."
"There was also that time a drunk neighbor broke in and took the blankets off me and tried to kiss me."
"We were friends with the neighbor and would hang out on the back patio smoking. We’d walk to the wing place and eat. He would always go to his place to use the bathroom."
"One night he used ours and took the opportunity to unlock the front door that nobody used. He asked to borrow my roommates phone and she agreed and just told him to leave it on the porch when he was done."
"At about 5am I woke up with no covers on and he was whispering in my ear to kiss him just once."
"I grabbed the renaissance fest battle axe by my bed and swung and he ran. I went out of my room and my roommate heard the noise and she came out to find me naked with an axe."
"Then she found her phone in her room - he had been in there."
"We didn’t see him for a week and when he showed up he was arrested for something drug related. He left his dog on our porch. Eventually we found his mom and gave her the dog."
"I don't sleep naked."
"I don't want my dog to be nosing around."
"Used to sleep naked until my cat chomped on a ball."
"Very rude awakening. No damage but now boxer briefs keep the dangly bits from dangling in my sleep."
"I too sleep with a dog in the bed. He licks my fingers to wake me up."
"Too many variables. You get the point."
"Similar. My puppy likes to sleep under the blanket and also thinks my junk is a chew toy."
"Well, he thinks everything is, but my junk is the most concerning."
Never-nudes of the sleep world, why DON'T you sleep in the buff?
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