I'm proud to say I'm older and wiser and that I handle my breakups with much more grace than I did when I was much younger (and far more lame). For the sake of contrast, consider the time I cried my eyes out and threw up in a restaurant following a breakup with a guy in my early twenties versus the couple of weeks I spent chilling out, writing, watching movies, and spending time with my friends (and feeling productive) after my most recent one. Trust me, developing better habits never comes easy.
After Redditor ceelery asked the online community, "How do you get over someone?" people weighed in with their best advice.
"You'll try a million things..."
You'll try a million things, but the only real answers are time and/or eternal sunshine of the spotless mind-ing them.
"I'm 40 now..."
Play it out in your mind. Have the full unabashed conversation like that person was standing right in front of you. Talk to them. Remember why you aren't together. If it was mutual, then this usually works. If it's one-sided, and your heart is broken, embrace it. Embrace the pain, remember, if there isn't anything you can do about the situation, the only thing you can change is the way you react to it. Amor Fati. Love your fate.
If this person you wish to "get over" has passed on, and everything in the world is muted gray, dull, and terrible, then in my experience, "getting over" is not something you should really even attempt. That person, as all people, are never truly gone from this world until they are forgotten. It is your duty to live your life as best you can, never forgetting them, but also living as they would have wanted you to. Go on adventures, pet dogs, eat strange foods, read books that challenge your beliefs, grow as a person, and maybe one day find love again. Knowing full well that they would approve.
I'm 40 now, and it seems the older I get, the easier it becomes to walk away from people. I've met the "love of my life" 3 different times, I've loved women without ever telling them, I've been rejected, cheated on, dumped, ghosted, married and divorced. I've had one night stands, and 12 year relationships. The only thing I can tell you is that the people we chose to love, leave pieces of themselves within us. Often times, you don't even realize it until you have the strange desire to go to an IKEA on a Saturday afternoon, and have no idea why until you walk in and feel the nostalgia of walking around with someone, laughing at odd chairs, and wondering why this insignificant thing meant so much.
"We were both kids pretending to be adults..."
One thing I'd recommend: try having the conversation out loud. You can use your mind to play everyone who isn't you, but there's some inherent value in speaking your own part out loud.
I remember being 22, stupid, and furious after a relationship ended. It was easier to be angry than it was to be sad, so I really dove into that rage. I called that ex every mean name in the book, slung mud about her to friends and random strangers, left not-so-cryptic messages about how much I hated her on Reddit where I knew she'd find them-- all sorts of crappy stuff.
In my mind, it was easy to justify everything. I hurt really bad, and she'd clearly and intentionally caused me a lot of emotional harm by breaking up with me and then getting together with someone else too darned quickly, and proving that I'd never meant anything to her!
I drove a lot for work, and after literal months of going to bed and waking up angry with a woman I hadn't seen since I graduated college, I decided to finally talk about it out loud to the empty Passenger's seat. And trying to call her a cruel bitch and worse-- it stuck in my throat. Because it was a damn lie.
We were both kids pretending to be adults wrapping up college. She wanted out because I wasn't a particularly good boyfriend to her; I was obsessed with sex, didn't have much by way of a future planned out or ambitions, dismissed her when she talked about stuff that bothered her, played too many video games-- there was a laundry list of reasons why most people wouldn't have wanted to date my crusty @ss in college. I'd ignored all of them because it was easier to pretend that she was just pure evil than it was to be sad and to acknowledge that I needed to change and improve if I ever wanted to have happy and healthy relationships again.
Hashing it out with yourself out loud forces that sort of honesty and makes you examine things a little more clearly. You know when you're lying to yourself, it's just that sometimes you need the extra kick of having to say it.
"I used to convince myself..."
There's going to be good days and there's going to be bad days. I used to convince myself that I didn't think of him anymore, but the truth was I thought of him every day, until I didn't. People say you need time, but you also need patience. Just when I thought I was finally getting over him, I started to dream of him. I would wake up in tears because of how angry I was that I was doing so good on moving on, yet all it took was one 15 second dream to pull me back 20 steps. But in order to move on, you have to let yourself feel every emotion and have patience.
"It takes awhile..."
Tears and time.
It takes awhile but you will eventually figure out wether you actually miss them or the idea of them.
"Love yourself more."
Stop trying too hard to get over. When I had my first break up, I tried too hard to distract myself and everything kept reminding me of her. The point being, if you feel said, it's okay. If you miss them, it's okay. If you feel jealous seeing them with someone else, it's okay.
If I could go back and do one thing differently was "self-love". I did not love myself enough and kept thinking about what I could have done better. Now I am old enough to realize that relationship is two people and you can't keep it together just by yourself.
It has already been suggested here. Love yourself more. Get healthy, fit or learn a new hobby. Do something you always wanted to do but were too preoccupied to do before.
"And then you have to realize..."
Look mate, I got divorced 4 months ago and here's what I've learned through lots of thought and pain.
You won't. Don't let that discourage you though. The more it hurts, the longer it takes to get over someone, the more you know you cared about that person.
I don't know your situation, so I can't be specific, but what helped me was not turning away from that pain. You need to face whatever fear, loss, anger, sorrow, pity, anxiety, or loneliness you feel and question why you feel this way. What about this person do you miss, what did this person bring into your life or relationship that made you happy.
And then you have to realize that all those same actions, thoughts, and feelings the other person gave you, you can self generate that same energy. Just because they are gone, doesn't mean you can't learn from them and become a better and happier person without them in your life.
Be happy that it happened, not sad because it's gone.
"Accept the things you cannot change."
Accept the things you cannot change.
That includes people.
"The feelings that you have..."
Imagine the ocean. In the middle of it, there's a wave. It's only purpose is get to the shore from the vast open sea. It roams and it roams towards the shore, but the shore is far. It takes time to reach it. However, it gets smaller and smaller as it approaches it's destination. Eventually subsiding into a soft little splash of water caressing the toes of the people on the beach.
The feelings that you have towards this person (be it infatuation, attraction, love) get smaller as the time goes by. Now get on with your life. Read a book, go to work, go to school or whatever it is you do. And one of these days you're gonna come to the realization: "Wow. I didn't have a single thought about this person yesterday."
I hope this helps.
"It's a cliche but..."
It's a cliche but "just do you".
Figure out who and what you are. What you want and what you lack and what you can give. Why do you need a partner? Why do you want a partner? What happened with this one? What were your wrongs and what were their wrongs?
It doesn't matter if you're 13, 23, 33, 43, or 53.
If you never figure yourself out and be content--or at least understand--who you are... there's a good chance you'll never meet the right person or be the right person for others. There'll always be that void of loneliness and itch that's never been scratched.
Because you don't even know what you need or what you can give.
If you're a young person, take this time to be someone of genuinely value to yourself. That'll naturally make you person who can provide for others as well.
Learn skills, pile on knowledge, and develop your physical traits.
Start working on all that and time will fly. You'll meet someone before you realize it's been months, years, since the break up. And you'll see how far you've come.
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When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"

Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
Inadequate clothes.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
Mobility challenges.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
Unwanted nicknames.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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