Believe it or not, it makes sense to spend a little bit more money on a quality product from time to time. It'll essentially pay for itself and you'll thank yourself later.
Having trouble figuring out what to get? If you ask people online, they'll be sure to sing the praises of the awesome desk chair they purchased or a proper pair of work boots. Comfort and practicality can go hand-in-hand, after all, as we learned once Redditor Killer097 asked, "What is worth every penny?"
"It's something..."
A really comfortable desk chair. If it's something you're going to be sitting in for hours a day, spending a little extra on a chair is well worth it.
"I took a class..."
I took a class on positive psychology as an elective a few years ago. I have used what I learned in that class practically every day since, through some very intense and upsetting times. I use what I learned in that class to help maintain my mental health during isolation, and for someone who struggles with severe depression, I've been doing a pretty damn good job.
Not only was that class worth every penny, I think it should be taught in high school for free.
"I've been using..."
Giphy
A good chef knife. I've been using mine for about 4 years now and it still keeps its edge. May cost $200 dollars but it's worth it instead of having to buy one every year
"They usually..."
A top floor apartment. They usually cost more than a downstairs apartment, but not having to listen to footsteps and plumbing noises is worth the extra cost.
"I don't mean..."
High quality soap. I don't mean like going to bath and body works and getting real smelly stuff, but like paying the $10 for three bars of Cetaphil body soap. Lasts long and your skin won't dry all to hell, and for me, no horrific allergic reaction to anything.
"I was gifted..."
An electric toothbrush.
I was gifted a Sonicare over 10 years ago, and will never go back to a manual toothbrush. When I've had to use a manual toothbrush I feel like a caveman and my teeth never feel as clean.
"Got them when I..."
Light-blocking Curtains.
Got them when I had to work 3rd shift for a few months. Will never go back. They truly live up to their name. No matter how bright it is outside, it is like 2am on a moonless night in my bedroom.
"Even when we're not working..."
Therapy. Even when we're not working through meaty stuff, I love having someone to offer different perspectives and challenge my perceptions of situations. Plus, during an unexpected crisis like this? It's nice to have someone on deck to help me work through all the bad stuff.
"Obviously..."
Logic Pro X - or any music making software that will be the best for you!
Obviously this is for people who want to make music, but after 6 years on garage band (the free, limited version), I decided to buy the full version, Logic. It's $250, lifetime ownership over multiple or upgraded devices, no hidden fees or subscriptions.
Not only have I been able to make money with it, it's made me incredibly joyous and fulfilled. It's like an artist buying a lifetime supply of canvas and paints!
"One neat thing..."
A good mattress. Never underestimate the long term benefits of a good night's rest (or negative effects of poor sleep). I mean, you basically spend 1/3 of your life asleep and another 1/3 of it wishing you were asleep. One neat thing I learned in my first master's program (had a whole class on the science of how people learn) is that your brain consolidates everything you experienced that day while you're asleep, so that's really where learning happens. It's analogous to transferring memories from RAM to your hard drive, which incidentally has infinite storage capacity. Point is, there are lots of things you can skimp on in life, but quality sleep isn't one of them.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.
Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.
U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?
Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.
Call outs are a universal language.
In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".
We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."
Be your own Easter Bunny.
Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF
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You could hide your own Easter eggs.
The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.
That’s cold.
“At this point, you can only impress me."
This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."
I lol’d.
I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".
Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".
It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?
When the bears are smarter than the tourists.
GIF by Smokey Bear
Giphy
Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
That’s a gross mental image.
In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".
In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.
Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".
It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.
Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:
Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"
Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."
Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"
Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."
These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.
Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.
eric cartman GIF by South Park
Giphy
On a Canadian jobsite
Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.
Oof, that’s harsh.
He's so far behind he thinks he's first.
I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”
Those are some gross socks.
Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".
"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.
In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.
A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm
For starters, lying on a resume and exaggerating the details to appear more qualified is not the answer.
The truth will eventually expose you and you'll find yourself back in a familiar position – being jobless.
Curious to hear about the lengths job applicants have gone through to stand out from the rest, Redditor Indianfattie asked:
"Recruiters and HR : what red flags do you find in a resume which means the interviewee is not what they seem?"
Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. But while one missed out over an unfortunate misunderstanding, another was given the benefit of the doubt.
The Maybe Felon
"A finalist applicant for a senior software developer position checked the box for 'yes' next to 'have you ever been convicted of a felony?' Our workplace does not automatically count out felons so I looked him up, only to find out his charges were from 10 years prior and had been lowered to a misdemeanor. This guy had been checking 'yes' on those boxes for 10 years and had never actually been convicted of a felony."
Taking A Chance
"Five years worth of graphic design experience, but no portfolio because of a crashed hard drive. This was before cloud backups were much a thing."
"Rest of the story - I rolled the dice, gave them a chance because all of the other applicants were terrible, and they were one of my best hires."
Lies, All Lies
As these potential employees discovered, fibbing was just a waste of time.
Not Bilingual
"Had a buddy put that he could speak Japanese fluently on his resume and applied to a Japanese manufacturing company in the US. During the interview, the hiring manager asked him about it and he promptly responded 'hai, nihongo ga wakarimashita'. So they went and got one of the Japanese QE's and was like 'Ok Mr. Honda, have a conversation with this guy'. Needles to say all my buddy could say was 'hai' and it was very awkward for everyone involved. He is a dumba**"
Expired Certification
"Along the same lines: A candidate put 'SPHR 2007" on his resume. SPHR is Senior Professional in Human Resources, a well-recognized certification for HR-related positions. To be valid, it has to be recertified every three years. So I asked, 'You've had an SPHR since 2007?' He started to hem and haw, so I pressed him. He finally admitted that his SPHR credential had lapsed in 2010."
The "Lazy Liar"
"I had a resume once where a guy had obviously just copy and pasted job descriptions as his work history. It was blatantly obvious because everything was in third person, guy didn't even take the time to edit it. 'Candidate will be able to' type wording. I gave him an interview and asked him tough questions based off of his supposed work experience. I was morbidly curious if he was just bad at writing resumes or just a lazy liar. Turns out he was the latter. When I interview someone I usually try and ease up on questions when it's obvious the candidate doesn't have the required experience. I don't want someone leaving totally demoralized etc. I didn't let up on this guy though and when he couldn't answer a question I would comment that he had it listed in his resume... Hopefully he learned a lesson."
– Nothing_
Pages And Pages
Some applicants thought a lengthy resume or curriculum vitae would be their ticket in.
What's the "1" For?
"Dude put on his resume 'CCNA -1' under certifications. The CCNA is a Cisco network certification. During the interview I asked what the -1 meant. He said 'oh I missed the certification by only one question'. I asked how we could verify that, he sort of shrugged."
All About Length
"A NINE page long resume for someone who has 3 years of work experience."
"If it's more than 2 pages I'm becoming skeptical that they aren't capable of simplifying."
An Extensive CV
"A lady I know was looking for a job and asked me to see if my work had anything available. The hiring manager said I could send through their details to the lady and they would have a look."
"The woman sent them a 13 page CV listing every class she took in high school and college (and she had changed majors, so that was 6 years worth of college classes). She listed every job she had ever done, and apparently had a thing for dropping jobs after a few weeks. The hiring manager asked me to pass on a message to the lady about how a CV should be no more than 2 pages and to maybe give her some pointers. I send the lady a text and she replied 'Lol'."
Make 'Em Squirm
"I once read one of someone who claimed to have a Sicology degree from the university I had attended. Since it was several states away, this stuck out. Since he didn't know how to spell Psychology, I obviously knew he was lying but it was open panel interviews so I spoke with him face to face anyway. The look of shock and terror in his eyes when I said I was thrilled to see that we were alums from the same place and started discussing details of campus was kind of fun to witness."
Scared 30 Rock GIF by HULUGiphyKeeping Up With Charades
"This is my nightmare when people have given me advice on 'fake it till you make it' and was told to put a skill on my resume that i did not have."
"Never put down a skill you don't know anything about, but you can exaggerate proficiency in a skill. That's kinda expected at this point."
Irrelevant Websites
"I got a 6 page one for an internship, 9-10 point font, basically no spacing. It included 4 self-made websites. 2 were down, 1 was from when this person was like 14 (roughly 8-10 years prior to this application), and one was just an 'under construction' image. The internship had nothing to do with making websites, but why would you include those (as well as like 95% of the other nonsense included) if theyre just unused."
– Fadnn6
Redditor SewerSleuth74 mentioned that too many jobs on an applicant's resume within a short amount of time was a big red flag.
However, with the pandemic upending many workers' loves in the past year, job recruiters have changed their perspective.
The Redditor also noted:
"Red flag doesn't mean they're out or have no chance, it means I will dig deeper. Could be circumstances or it could be you. Depends on your qualifications and skills, not experience, that dictate my actions."
The bottom line is, think twice about faking your resume.
No matter how hard anyone tries, sending naughty pictures over the internet or doing the nasty with someone you're not supposed to, could be witnessed by anyone just inconveniently stumbling upon the scene.
Curious to hear about accidental sightings of stealth happenings, Redditor PMForDickGraysonPics asked:
"What did you see that you definitely weren't supposed to see?"
Nudies
These Redditors happened upon some revealing images involving scantily-clad women.
What Mom Did
"One time I was up late at night scrolling Facebook at the same time as my drunk married mother who was an entire timezone away at the time. She was messaging an old fling from high school while her husband was away at work and was sending him close up pictures of her vagina. How I know this is because she didn't send them via messenger, SHE POSTED THEM ON HER ACTUAL FACEBOOK PAGE. I had to call her in the middle of the night in her zonked out stupor to get her password to delete pictures off her own Facebook page."
Retrospective Look
"Was fixing an elderly neighbor's laptop that had nudes of his wife on the desktop with the thumbnails at maximum size. It's like he wanted me to see them. I will say though, she had a bangin' bod for a woman in her 70s. I think it's safe to say he thought the same."
The Moaning Woman
"In my high school Spanish class, our teacher had taped (VHS) a telenovela for us to watch. When she put the VHS tape in, there was about .25 seconds of a porno that played...a topless woman moaning. Out of a class of around 30 kids, only about 5 of us looked around at each other and locked eyes with a 'did anyone else just see that?! look. Our teacher must have taped over an old porno VHS of hers."
Cheaters And Sex
Spotted: People seeking intimacy with people they aren't supposed to – or in one case, where they shouldn't.
No-So Clandestine Meeting
"Was working at a hotel during college and saw my lab partner get a room with the professor."
The Secret
"My dad gave me a piece of furniture one time. When I got it home, a post-it note which had been stuck to the bottom floated down to the floor. I picked it up, and in my dad's unmistakable handwriting were various notes about gay personal ads he'd been responding to -- details about the other guys. Their names and ages and sexual interests, the status of their conversations, etc. My dad was, at least I thought, very straight. I put two and two together and realized this piece of furniture was from an apartment he kept briefly while he and my stepmom were on the outs for about a year. None of this bothered me one bit, but I got the distinct impression that my stepmom (an older, very conservative lady) would have NOT been cool with any of this... I let him go to his grave without ever telling him."
Revealing Correspondence
"When I was still married, my (then) wife had left her phone on to run to the bathroom while I was in bed, I looked at it for the time, and found it was left open to a secret Gmail account she was using for sending literally hundreds of nudes back and forth between many many dudes. For years. Up to that night while she was fully 6 months pregnant. Mostly original stuff too. I think that hurt more."
Unfaithful Girlfriend
"The night I learned my ex gf was cheating, she just got up from the couch to kill a bug and left her phone face up on the couch with Snapchat open. The chat had a picture of her boobs and some sexting replies from the guy. My heart dropped down to my butt. Man, cheaters suck"
Nature Love
"I was hiking in a forest with some friends, and as we continued on the trail, the mound of rocks on our right side opened up to more forest. Myself and one of my friends were leading the other two by a couple of yards, and we both briefly saw a couple having sex several hundred feet into the forest on that right side. My friend and I gave each other that 'did you see that sh*t too?' look. By the time my other friends caught up the couple had split and we couldn't see them anymore. It was like 2pm in broad daylight off of a main road, which was the weirdest part."
Grim Sightings
The following Redditors shared the things they saw not involving nudity.
Eternal Slumber
"Bout 5 years old woke up to the snow finally starting to melt. Notice a girl 'asleep' in the garden. Went a told my dad, he took one look and told me to go play in my room. Turns out girl had been 'asleep' in our front garden for about 2 weeks buried and frozen under the snow."
Fatal Accident
"Saw a man crash his motorcycle into the back of a parked car. He flipped over the car hitting his head on the pavement and dying on scene. Firefighters showed up and sprayed his brains and blood down the storm drain. Later found out it was a girls father who I went to middle school with. I was 12."
Watery Grave
"Human bones in the bottom of a cenote in the yucatan of Mexico. Dad told me to stfu and not swim in that area anymore."
I didn't necessarily see it with my own eyes but I heard two of my friends going at it behind the backs of their respective significant others.
They probably thought I was passed out. News flash: I wasn't.
I, unfortunately, was sharing a room with them and another friend. He and I woke up to sounds moaning in the bed next to us, and I'm pretty sure our friend wasn't giving her a massage.