Chickens. Are. Terrifying.
If you think "chickens" and think of flighty, cowardly animals, it's clear you've never actually met them.
They're mean. They're bloodthirsty. They've killed people.
Nature made them small and delicious so we'd eat them and give ourselves a fighting chance against these New World Velociraptors.
Reddit user Click-bayt1025 assked:
"What’s an animal everyone thinks is harmless but in reality is very dangerous?"
... we should probably be very afraid.
Bye-Son
"Bison, every year someone gets hurt or killed in Yellowstone because they think the bison are slow and dumb and you can take selfies with them."
"Really they are quick and powerful, but have poor eyesight. As you approach a bison it may not see you until you are close, then it can panic and gore you."
- Riverrat423
"People really treat Yellowstone like a petting zoo. Seen many videos of people being flipped into the air like ragdolls."
"Also the kid who got his chin gored because the family had the windows down"
- chiefs_fan37
"I legit cannot fathom seeing an animal as massive as a bison and assuming it’s safe to approach."
- aliceroyal
"It seems like there’s more stories coming out from Yellowstone about people getting killed or critically injured by Buffalo because they’re getting to close to them."
- shrimpsauce91
"The stupidest sh*t I ever saw in my life was the tourist I saw in Yellowstone tiptoeing through a thermal area (where the earth/crust is really thin and barely covers deep pools of boiling hot acidic water) with his camera to get closer to a bison and its calf to take a photo."
"Dude must have had a death wish."
- g-a-r-n-e-t
GiphyCone Snail
"Cone snails."
"You see their shells decorating bathrooms all the time. But find a live one and make the mistake handling it and it will lance you with a venomous harpoon."
"For several species, such as the geography cone, this venom is sufficent to swiftly kill a human."
- Trips-Over-Tail
"Definitely snails. Certain fresh water snails carry parasitic worms that in turn carry a deadly disease known as schistosomiasis. When humans come into contact with water where these snails live they can become infected and die of organ failure."
"In sub-Saharan Africa, schistosomiasis is the second leading cause of death after malaria, with more than 200,000"
- elizletcher
"There's one species of cone snail nicknamed "cigarette snail" because the time their venom takes to kill you is about as much as it takes to smoke a cigarette."
- WeirdStray
"This is the answer I was looking for. I'll never forget reading about this as a kid and being surprised they can harpoon people and kill them while they collect shells."
- Rhodri_Suojelija
GiphyDonkey
"Donkeys although they look innocent but they have nasty kicks and bites"
- musanifshah3010
"Anybody that thinks donkeys aren't terrifying should see what happens when they get a hold of a coyote."
- mgj6818
"They have wild donkeys near Lake Pleasant. I camped there one time and I just heard this mean ass beast in the bushes—we were scared. I got up some courage and went to go look and it was just a really mean donkey."
- xXSpaceturdXx
"And even if you somehow defeat one, you'll have to fight its pissed off dragon wife next"
- P1SSY3LL0W
"Used to work near wild Burros. A lot of those Burros had scars on their backs from when a mountain lions attempted to take them down."
"Attempted, being the key word there. Saw one with a bad eye, one ear, scarred up back, and no fear in its one good eye. Of me or my SUV."
- 2DamnBig
"Donkeys are smart tho, really just don’t get on their territory unless you live their or they allow it."
"We had few and they all had different jobs. Those that moved stuff from the farm to the sorting room knew the way around the farm. We load them up and they go drop it and come back and eat a treat."
"They knew when guests are coming and would guide our herd of sheep to the other side of the farm."
"Kept our sheep protected at night.""
"Just take care of them, feed them, shelter them, and clean them. That’s all they ask for and they are loyal."
"Also let them be them. They like to run around or just lay down and do nothing, they got amazing personalities."
- momo88852
GiphyBig Big Birds
"Not everyone but I see a few people get dangerously close to big birds like hawks and eagles. I'm like, people, those birds almost got bigger claws than bears, leave them alone."
- TheShadowOfKaos
"I work with them quite often and yeah, if you don’t know what you are doing and how to properly handle them it can be very very dangerous."
"Also people letting their little tiny rabbit sized dogs walk off leash in areas where I know there are raptors drives me mad. There’s no way you’d be able to save your dog if one decided they looked like a good meal."
- chamomilehoneywhisk
"I once rescued an adult redtail hawk with a broken wing. Having to catch her up was very scary - she flopped on her back, talons up, ready to grab me."
"Luckily I was able to cover her head and grab her legs."
"Most people, if they have the sense to be afraid of raptors, fear being bitten. Nah, the beak isn't the primary weapon, those talons are!"
- sainsa
"I went on a falconry experience once, had a golden eagle on my arm which was super tame and chill, and it was still terrifying. When it jumped off my arm to take off the force sent my arm downwards about 45 degrees."
- godoflemmings
GiphyTimon
"My uncle is a zoologist and the only animal he was ever attacked by was a meerkat."
- doej0
"I’m a zoo volunteer, got bitten by a meerkat a few months ago. It just darted up and bit my finger for no reason, little jerk. They are FAST."
- Sleeplesshelley
"Small animals like that come preprogrammed with the rage of 1,000 demons."
- kendrahf
"Meerkats also have the highest environmental risk factor of any potentially escaped animal. They'll breed and dig until theyve reached carrying capacity, destroying root systems and creating deserts wherever they go."
"If you wanna cripple a nation's food supply, just drop in a few horny meerkats."
- fuckasssss
"The only scar I got from working with animals was from a meerkat, didn’t give her her chicken fast enough 🥲"
- tribblemethis
GiphyBeavers
"Beware of Beavers!"
"Beavers will stand their ground and confront a threat. If trapped, cornered, or ensnatched, a beaver will attack a human."
"The rodents' sharp teeth may cause serious injury as well as infection. Beavers carry tularemia, parasites, and rabies, which can transfer through bites, body fluids, or infected water."
"Before beavers attack humans or other animals, they send a warning by growling and hissing. On land, the animal rises to its hind legs to face a threat. In the water, a startled beaver slaps its tail against the surface to alert others in the colony before diving to safety."
- Back2Bach
"I've heard a beaver slap its tail in the water before. You'd think someone just fired a shotgun at you!"
- mikeybab123
"I had a beaver shadow me for about a half mile while I was wade fishing a small river. Whenever I stopped to fish, it swam within about 15 feet from me and slapped its tail against the water."
"So I would move farther downstream, but it would just repeat the process. It was probably protecting little ones, but finally I got so unnerved I decided that was enough fishing for one day."
- twisted_stepsister
"Nickelodeon was right. Those beavers are Angry Beavers."
- FM1091
"When I was in highschool, me and my buddies were walking along the river bank one night and I heard rustling in the tall grass up the bank. Being a very stupid teenager, I pulled the grass to the sides like a cartoon character and put my face right in there."
"I saw two large, shiny, black marbles and a yellow coffee mug. When my eyes adjusted to the light, I made out a toaster oven-sized beaver with MASSIVE yellow teeth."
"We started at each other, frozen in fear for what felt like a lifetime when I slowly closed the opening in the grass and backed out before strolling away. It was a total Scooby Doo moment."
"I didn't tell my friends until we were well away so they didn't go back and disturb it because I didn't how dangerous a beaver could be."
- Broosevelt
GiphyAll-around MVPredator
"dragon flies, but not to people. I went off the beaten path hiking around an old slate town and there was a lot of horse/deer flies buzzing around attacking me. I Came across the edge of a huge beaver pond that hasn't really been touched by humans in 100+ years."
"As soon as I get to the marshy beach all the sudden i see these little flashes of black zooming around my head and all of the flies are gone these fuckin dragon flies came in and took them all out in a matter of seconds mid god damn flight."
- Outnabout3535325
"Dragonflies are really good predators. They are the perfect flying machines"
- gandalfium225
"Dragonflies actually have the highest kill ratio of any animal"
"I don't remember the exact stat, but its over 90% of the time they hit their target."
- Gasp32
"Dragonflies are vicious, vicious predators. Something like 95% success rate at hunting, they can fly up to 30 mph, and are ridiculously agile, about to fly up, down, left, right, forwards and backwards, and can hover."
- Dorgamund
"Yeah, they will pick them right off your skin while in mid-bite. When I was working in a forest we used to go to bridge over a water way in the evening to get some relief from the bugs. The relief was an airforce of dragon flies feasting on those bastards."
- socialism-scientific
"As an avid outdoorsman, I regularly plan trips to certain areas based upon predictions and reports about whether dragonflies are out yet that year."
"They are true friends of the outdoors enthusiast."
"But they do, in fact, pack a nasty bite if they so choose to use it. Usually they don't, but I've been bitten by them before and it hurts like f*cking hell. I still love them."
- flargenhargen
"The real heroes."
- Dark_Vengence
GiphyFlippin Flipper
"Dolphins. Those things can be little psychopaths."
- AgentAwesome2008
"Came here for this. The biggest rapists and druggies on the planet"
- LordChaos404
"Little meat torpedoes that can weigh over half a ton, bite like crocodiles and sometimes find humans sexually attractive."
- Nephilims_Dagger
"YES!! One bit me at Sea World, I thought it was an accident because it was a feeding tank but he turned around and BIT ME AGAIN."
"Tons of other kids were standing there, that bottle nosed bastard targeted me!"
"I don’t blame it though, poor guy living in captivity."
- Fishbate333
GiphyCareful With The Fedora
"Platypus. The males have a big venom spike on their back legs, which is intensely painful."
"This sounds like a joke, but it’s absolutely true."
- IncredulousPulp
"Platypus is an animal that makes so little sense the first person to send one back to Europe was labeled a fraud."
"Like other monotremes, it senses prey through electrolocation. It is one of the few species of venomous mammals, as the male platypus has a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom, capable of causing severe pain to humans. The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal baffled European naturalists when they first encountered it, and the first scientists to examine a preserved platypus body (in 1799) judged it a fake, made of several animals sewn together.[5]" -Wikipedia"
- shwaga
"They are also surprisingly fast at chasing you on land, and it's looks hilarious until they catch you"
- Deadlybutterknife
"I also heard they make for a great secret agent…"
- Mecha106
"Their venom is so painful infact morphine can't even touch it. You have to pinch off the nerves thus fully numbing the area to find relief from the pain."
- The_Book-JDP
"HE’S A SEMI-AQUATIC EGG-LAYING MAMMAL OF ACTION!"
- FinniboiXD
"I saw a segment from a documentary series about stings and bites once. This guy grabbed a platypus by accident because he was trying to grab hold of a log. It spurred his hand and caused him excruciating pain. At the hospital, the doctors had to figure out how to stop the pain because they had given him so much morphine that anymore would have been dangerous, and it had little to no effect on the pain."
"They were able to figure something out, but it took several months for the guy to be able to fully use that hand again."
- CelticGaelic
"The platypus is nature's way of saying "I made this thing out of spare parts I found lying around the workshop and it can still f*cking cripple you."
- Hypersapien
"But the females can sweat milk"
- Easthwestnorth
GiphyPigs
"Pigs, people thinks they are harmless packs of bacon but in reality they can easily kill you if annoyed"
- clari_man
"There's a reason everyone on the farm in Wizard of Oz freaked out when Dorothy fell into the pigpen in the beginning."
- WineAndDogs2020
"And they are omnivorous. They will eat you, if they have the chance."
- Apotak
"My grandparents always kept animals and my grandmother grew up on a farm. She was always the most afraid of the pigs and always said as much. Pigs are dangerous and can be quiet a bit larger then people imagine."
- thiswilltakeamiracle
"My aunt tripped one day feeding her pig, he was on her in a second. She managed to drag herself partially upright while he tried to get a good grip on her legs and grab the ballpeen hammer hanging on the side of the barn. She ended up having to smash his skull in while he was trying to crush/eat her."
"I can't imagine how terrified she was and I'm so happy she was able to pull herself up enough to grab the hammer"
- MossyDwarf
GiphyAre you feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the food chain?
Us too.
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?