People! 911 is a very busy hotline. It is for emergencies only! In fact there is a law saying you cannot call for any superfluous reasons. This is not the time to be calling over every little thing that just makes you aggravated. The dispatchers have enough on their plate to deal with without our glorified prank calls. Now think before you dial. Are you bleeding? Then call 311 instead.Redditor u/Parakeetman280 wanted to hear from the Emergency dispatch workers out there. We were hoping they'd share a tale or two about those on the other end of the line by asking.... 911 operators of reddit, what was your stupidest/most annoying call yet?
You're a Nurse?school monkey GIFGiphy
I had a nurse (she told me twice she was a nurse before we confirmed the address)... anywho, the nurse tells me she's babysitting an infant. So I'm starting to get into baby CPR mode... again, tells me she's a nurse. I ask her what she's reporting: "Well, like I said, I'm babysitting this infant and cutting his finger nails.
I accidentally cut one Tom short and it's bleeding" Did you cut a part of the finger off? "No. It's just bleeding". At this point, I can give some basic bleeding instructions. But we literally sent an ambulance to help a "nurse" apply a bandage.
My boyfriend and I used to work at an operating theatre at the guest counter and we'd get calls for directions all the time.
My boyfriend fielded one of these calls one time and was just getting more and more annoyed because the person wanted directions but refused to tell him where they were coming from.
I think they wound up hanging up on him and calling back to complain about him... To him.
Some say they're still in transit today.
Services Not Rendered.
I used to volunteer with my local PD and was helping deliver some goodies to the county dispatch center (figure that's a better introduction then "I'm not a dispatcher, but...") While I was chatting with one of the dispatchers who was taking 911 calls, they received a call from a man who immediately starts yelling at the operator.
Once the man calms down, he explains the situation. Apparently, he had hired a sex worker and brought her to his place. After her services were preformed, he refused to pay her due to him not feeling that she did a good enough job to deserve any financial compensation.
Because she was not reviewing her payment, the sex worker refused to leave the house until she had her money and the man was calling to have her removed from the premises. Long story short, the police were sent to the house and both individuals were arrested after admitting to engaging in their activities. If there is a lesson to be learned here, it's to not call 911 on your hooker.
The HowlBasketball Howling GIF by Worcester WolvesGiphy
I got an emergency roadside call about 11pm. Im getting some information and I ask where she's located..."I'm directly beneath the moon. They'll see me." And she hung up.
Just hang up....
The list of stupidity is ridiculous. A few of my favorites:
- Female caller is screaming her absolute head off on picking up the phone. It sounded like her house was on fire and everyone she ever loved was being murdered in front of her eyes. The issue? She had never been in a hailstorm before and it was scary.
- Male 911 caller says he has a question and no emergency. Ok, go ahead. "Yeah so if I'm driving and the speed limit sign says 40 and I'm going 42, is that like....speeding?" ....Yes. "Ok that makes sense, thanks."
- Male caller says his friend accidentally shot himself in the leg in the car. After getting a bunch of info, we go down the medical side of things and I get to the question "is the bleeding serious?" - male, "I can't tell." - ok, is it spurting or pouring out? - "I can't see, I need to take his pants off...BRO DON'T MOVE I NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!" - me, what? No, no with his pants ON, I need you to tell me if he is bleeding! Only time I openly laughed on a 911 call.
I have more!
"hey there's this car on fire!"
I work with a lot of police officers. I got ragged shamelessly for calling in a panic one day and yelling incoherently about a car in a parking lot.
I was driving home and there was an SUV that was on fire at an abandoned gas station but somehow I forgot to tell the dispatcher that the CAR WAS ON FIRE and just kept yelling that the car was dangerous and someone could be killed by this parked car....
...they finally calmed me down enough to ask why it was so dangerous and I was like "what? It's on fire! It could blow up! Or cause a forest fire!" I could hear the dispatcher rolling his eyes as he told me I should've started with "hey there's this car on fire!" versus "I'm at a gas station and there's this parked car." I was 17 or 18, I know better now.
Thaw it Out
I was once called to a woman's house who said she was trapped inside in the middle of winter. I showed up at her home to find that there was a 3 quarter inch of ice stopping her screen door from opening. I opened the door mildly hard and broke the ice to open the screen door.
Not my Issuesmh GIFGiphy
The most recent one was a woman requesting someone respond to adjust her air mattress because she was having difficulty falling asleep.
I had a kid call once on Christmas Eve, upset because his dad wouldn't let him open his gifts early. That one was pretty cute, the dad was embarrassed but it was one of my favorite calls.
A woman called from the big city in our area that was about 11 miles away and complained that her 18 year old daughter wouldn't go to school. The operator explained that her daughter was an adult and couldn't be forced to go to school. The mom called back two more times to complain about and and called back a fourth time to say that her daughter had now run away.
EMERGENCY!!Teen Titans GIF by DC ComicsGiphy
When I was 3 I called 911 because my toy ball was stolen.
It was awkward when the police came and my parents had to explain the situation.
My wife has the story of the woman who called because her baby wasn't breathing.
"Ma'am", she says, "How many children are in the house"
"1", the caller replies, "WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT MY BABY ISN'T BREATHING"
"Ma'am, is that crying I hear on the line your baby?"
"YES MY BABY IS CRYING BECAUSE SHE CANNOT BREATHE!!!"
My wife of course had already dispatched the ambulance, but apparently the baby had just been crying for an hour and this woman was convinced the baby could not cry and breath at the same time.
Also, the amount of people who called with an upset stomach was boggling. Like, go take a crap guys.
Her stories about that job really did a number on my faith in humanity.
When you gotta go....Screaming Season 8 GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
One time my sister and I were in an argument and I wasn't talking to her. She came home late at night and I happened to be in the bathroom with the door open. All she could see was my feet sticking out as our toilet was sectioned off.
She ended up calling 911, scared as hell that someone had broken into our house and decided to use the bathroom. I went into my room without saying a word. She figured it out moments before the cops arrived. Needless to say, one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
My mom used to work at the emergency line for OnStar and would often receive reports of suspicious cars, & OnStar would have too notify the police whenever someone would call about that, which makes sense.
However a lot of people would call, "Theres a green car on the highway and it looks suspicious."
No other details than that, and she would have to call the police, too tell them "We got a call about a suspicious green car.
Im not a first responder but i was a security guard at a hospital and we got called in to stop a woman from hanging herself with her scarf. When we got there she was on the floor and the scarf tied onto the seat of a chair.
School is a 911
This is a true store, a kid calling so he could get help on his home work lol.
Lol heard that call. The dispatcher was so nice, he asked him what he needed help with, lol. The mom yelled the kids name in anger when she heard what he was doing. I bet he got a huge lecture. The kid remembered if he needed help to call 911, just forgot the emergency part, lol.
Halloweenjamie lee curtis halloween GIF by Entertainment WeeklyGiphy
Where do I begin? Halloween night some lady called 911 because she lost her car keys, said she "wasn't sure if she was calling the right number." We've had people call asking for directions, reporting a black teen walking down the street; that person got hung up on. Someone called to report a suspicious vehicle on their street and it turned out to be our police car... which was marked.
I know you....
Not a 911 operator but I have called quite a few times for one stupid reason (it's 999 in the UK but whatever). My phone has a feature where I double tap the lock screen button and it calls 999, and a single tap happens to be snooze for the alarm. Just like anyone else I set an alarm to wake to for my Uni classes everyday and a BUNCH of times I ended up double tapping somehow and the same lady would pickup and I'd tell her it was a mistake. Once she even recognized my voice cuz it happened so often and she cut me off and asked if it was a mistake lol. Luckily she was nice and the calls didn't affect anyone because they lasted only a few seconds.
The Leaves of Evil....
Former 911 operator and the STUPIDEST calls I would get were people complaint about leaf blowers. Yes. I worked in an affluent city and it was always the same pretentious people that called to complain about landscapers their neighbors hired using leaf blowers too early in the morning. It got so bad the city was forced to pass an ordinance restricting the use of leaf blowers before a certain time in the morning.
Most annoying today? Or overall? We routinely deal with the worst side of people and deal with daily/hourly annoying calls.
Some of the worst are the "frequent flyers". Multiple alcoholics in town call regularly for rides home. People calling on their neighbors for literally everything. People treating us like information and being fools when we tell them we aren't.
Think about the worst, most annoying tattle tail you remember from school.... They are worse now that they grew up and they rarely call about actual emergencies.
Madame Presidentover it eye roll GIFGiphy
Not a dispatcher but i work in a jail. This is what we saw on the call notes for a call that came into dispatch recently.
RP lives in insert super expensive neighborhood name
RP saw police car drive by, wants to know whats happening with her people
RP stating she is president of HOA and has legal right to know
RP transferred to deputy.
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When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.