Good Day Ma'am....
Tom Cruise GIFGiphy"Good day, Ma'am. I'm officer Brody. We have received a call about a suspicious person driving around the area. Thank you for your contribution to keeping this neighborhood safe for all of us. Can you describe to me what they looked like and what suspicious thing thing you saw them do, so we can look further into it?"
I wonder if she'd realize that something about that whole situation is off once she realizes that she has the same answer for both of those questions.
Verbal Judo
Short answer: I send them who they ask for, and do so while making sure everyone on the scene is as safe as possible using all the resources I can.
Long answer: If everyone's safe, I use some verbal judo to try to get the caller to realize what they are doing. I'll act like a 3 year old asking "why" to everything. I've gotten a few people to openly admit it's because of the color of a "suspicious" persons skin color.
If they say something offensive, I ask them to repeat it into the recorded phone call for clarity, and remind them they are being recorded.
I dispatch for a number of cities. A few of them affluent, a few of them less so. My favorite example is when "Karen" called in one of these affluent cities to inform us of a black man driving around a city police cruiser. That black man responded to her house for more information.
Dial Tone...
Reminds me of a time my mean old Karen of a neighbor called the police because she "saw a black man driving a nice car." They told her it wasn't a crime and ended up having to hang up on her.
The Connecticut state police think otherwise. If not a crime, at least an excuse for selective enforcement.
I'm friends with a black man (we're both musicians) who was a very successful executive at a computer company. He was in a line of cars traveling through Connecticut on the interstate, all going the same speed, somewhat over the speed limit.
He was the only one pulled over. A black man in a red Ferrari.
The Legend
We had a Deputy who had retired, and then came back part-time as a call take (she started her career as a dispatcher). Well, she had a Karen caller. The caller had called a number of times with non-emergency issues. The retired deputy finally had it and literally told the caller to "screw off". She was obviously called to the office for it. She told them to screw off too. She was "let go from her temporary position." Kinda sucks but she's a legend now for saying what we have all wanted to at one time or another.
Whoops...
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphyWe had a woman in an upscale white neighborhood call about a suspicious black man. It was the police chief (in business attire) meeting the mayor at his house. He was in an unmarked car and wasn't in uniform so I'm sure nothing about him screamed that he was a cop. Still, she was a flat out racist.
No you don't...
We roll our eyes, then do exactly what we do in every 911 situation- try to tease out the relevant info and dispatch the appropriate resources. We can't tell them "no, you don't need police/ambulance," so we then waste resources and let the cops/medics sort it out on-scene. Having been both a 911 dispatcher and a paramedic, I can assure you that a good time is not had by all.
Life of an EMT....
Former EMT and dispatcher here, who had to come off the streets and move into dispatch.
I had two answers to that question, both true:
"Closest car goes. I'm not good enough at dispatching to dispatch punitively, I send whoever's closest."
"Management prioritizes private transfer contracts over 911 calls, and I can't exactly tell them to go get screwed because I have a kid to raise and rent to pay."
I'm Karen.
Just realized I was one of those Karen's one time. I was jogging in a park early in the AM and saw a tarp wrapped around an exact body sized lump in the woods. (Called non emergency line though) But it was just a bunch of clothes wrapped up lmao. Still creepy! But not a dead body haha.
Are we doing this again?
People call the police for EVERYTHING.
A number of years back we had a huge snowstorm and there was no power for days. I would wake up and go work 17 hours dispatching police for 3 days, leave to a freezing house where i couldn't sleep.
On day 4 a guy called 911 asking what was open like I had any clue and when I told him I had no clue he asked what to do.
My response was "you know the book you get every year from the phone company, the one that has white and yellow pages, open to the first yellow page and start dialing." He was so appreciative and my coworkers were dumbfounded as to why i could be saying that.
Some people just have no common sense.
"listen to your parents"
Super Troopers Police GIFGiphyMy mother called the cops on my brother and I for cooking vegetables on the stove (when we were 13/15), which she asked us to do. one officer showed up, said "listen to your parents" and left. We make jokes that the cops drew straws to see who had to show up at the house for her stupidity because she called them so much.
Edit to clarify: shared this story because it just shows they have to send an officer no matter how ridiculous the complaint is.
You're a Nurse?
school monkey GIFGiphyI had a nurse (she told me twice she was a nurse before we confirmed the address)... anywho, the nurse tells me she's babysitting an infant. So I'm starting to get into baby CPR mode... again, tells me she's a nurse. I ask her what she's reporting: "Well, like I said, I'm babysitting this infant and cutting his finger nails.
I accidentally cut one Tom short and it's bleeding" Did you cut a part of the finger off? "No. It's just bleeding". At this point, I can give some basic bleeding instructions. But we literally sent an ambulance to help a "nurse" apply a bandage.
In Transit
My boyfriend and I used to work at an operating theatre at the guest counter and we'd get calls for directions all the time.
My boyfriend fielded one of these calls one time and was just getting more and more annoyed because the person wanted directions but refused to tell him where they were coming from.
I think they wound up hanging up on him and calling back to complain about him... To him.
Some say they're still in transit today.
Services Not Rendered.
I used to volunteer with my local PD and was helping deliver some goodies to the county dispatch center (figure that's a better introduction then "I'm not a dispatcher, but...") While I was chatting with one of the dispatchers who was taking 911 calls, they received a call from a man who immediately starts yelling at the operator.
Once the man calms down, he explains the situation. Apparently, he had hired a sex worker and brought her to his place. After her services were preformed, he refused to pay her due to him not feeling that she did a good enough job to deserve any financial compensation.
Because she was not reviewing her payment, the sex worker refused to leave the house until she had her money and the man was calling to have her removed from the premises. Long story short, the police were sent to the house and both individuals were arrested after admitting to engaging in their activities. If there is a lesson to be learned here, it's to not call 911 on your hooker.
The Howl
Basketball Howling GIF by Worcester WolvesGiphyI got an emergency roadside call about 11pm. Im getting some information and I ask where she's located..."I'm directly beneath the moon. They'll see me." And she hung up.
Just hang up....
The list of stupidity is ridiculous. A few of my favorites:
- Female caller is screaming her absolute head off on picking up the phone. It sounded like her house was on fire and everyone she ever loved was being murdered in front of her eyes. The issue? She had never been in a hailstorm before and it was scary.
- Male 911 caller says he has a question and no emergency. Ok, go ahead. "Yeah so if I'm driving and the speed limit sign says 40 and I'm going 42, is that like....speeding?" ....Yes. "Ok that makes sense, thanks."
- Male caller says his friend accidentally shot himself in the leg in the car. After getting a bunch of info, we go down the medical side of things and I get to the question "is the bleeding serious?" - male, "I can't tell." - ok, is it spurting or pouring out? - "I can't see, I need to take his pants off...BRO DON'T MOVE I NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!" - me, what? No, no with his pants ON, I need you to tell me if he is bleeding! Only time I openly laughed on a 911 call.
I have more!
"hey there's this car on fire!"
I work with a lot of police officers. I got ragged shamelessly for calling in a panic one day and yelling incoherently about a car in a parking lot.
I was driving home and there was an SUV that was on fire at an abandoned gas station but somehow I forgot to tell the dispatcher that the CAR WAS ON FIRE and just kept yelling that the car was dangerous and someone could be killed by this parked car....
...they finally calmed me down enough to ask why it was so dangerous and I was like "what? It's on fire! It could blow up! Or cause a forest fire!" I could hear the dispatcher rolling his eyes as he told me I should've started with "hey there's this car on fire!" versus "I'm at a gas station and there's this parked car." I was 17 or 18, I know better now.
Thaw it Out
I was once called to a woman's house who said she was trapped inside in the middle of winter. I showed up at her home to find that there was a 3 quarter inch of ice stopping her screen door from opening. I opened the door mildly hard and broke the ice to open the screen door.
Not my Issue
smh GIFGiphyThe most recent one was a woman requesting someone respond to adjust her air mattress because she was having difficulty falling asleep.
I had a kid call once on Christmas Eve, upset because his dad wouldn't let him open his gifts early. That one was pretty cute, the dad was embarrassed but it was one of my favorite calls.
Runaway
A woman called from the big city in our area that was about 11 miles away and complained that her 18 year old daughter wouldn't go to school. The operator explained that her daughter was an adult and couldn't be forced to go to school. The mom called back two more times to complain about and and called back a fourth time to say that her daughter had now run away.
EMERGENCY!!
Teen Titans GIF by DC ComicsGiphyWhen I was 3 I called 911 because my toy ball was stolen.
It was awkward when the police came and my parents had to explain the situation.
Lost Faith
My wife has the story of the woman who called because her baby wasn't breathing.
"Ma'am", she says, "How many children are in the house"
"1", the caller replies, "WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT MY BABY ISN'T BREATHING"
"Ma'am, is that crying I hear on the line your baby?"
"YES MY BABY IS CRYING BECAUSE SHE CANNOT BREATHE!!!"
My wife of course had already dispatched the ambulance, but apparently the baby had just been crying for an hour and this woman was convinced the baby could not cry and breath at the same time.
Also, the amount of people who called with an upset stomach was boggling. Like, go take a crap guys.
Her stories about that job really did a number on my faith in humanity.
When you gotta go....
Screaming Season 8 GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphyOne time my sister and I were in an argument and I wasn't talking to her. She came home late at night and I happened to be in the bathroom with the door open. All she could see was my feet sticking out as our toilet was sectioned off.
She ended up calling 911, scared as hell that someone had broken into our house and decided to use the bathroom. I went into my room without saying a word. She figured it out moments before the cops arrived. Needless to say, one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
Thanks OnStar
My mom used to work at the emergency line for OnStar and would often receive reports of suspicious cars, & OnStar would have too notify the police whenever someone would call about that, which makes sense.
However a lot of people would call, "Theres a green car on the highway and it looks suspicious."
No other details than that, and she would have to call the police, too tell them "We got a call about a suspicious green car.
The Scarf
Im not a first responder but i was a security guard at a hospital and we got called in to stop a woman from hanging herself with her scarf. When we got there she was on the floor and the scarf tied onto the seat of a chair.
School is a 911
This is a true store, a kid calling so he could get help on his home work lol.
Lol heard that call. The dispatcher was so nice, he asked him what he needed help with, lol. The mom yelled the kids name in anger when she heard what he was doing. I bet he got a huge lecture. The kid remembered if he needed help to call 911, just forgot the emergency part, lol.
Halloween
jamie lee curtis halloween GIF by Entertainment WeeklyGiphyWhere do I begin? Halloween night some lady called 911 because she lost her car keys, said she "wasn't sure if she was calling the right number." We've had people call asking for directions, reporting a black teen walking down the street; that person got hung up on. Someone called to report a suspicious vehicle on their street and it turned out to be our police car... which was marked.
I know you....
Not a 911 operator but I have called quite a few times for one stupid reason (it's 999 in the UK but whatever). My phone has a feature where I double tap the lock screen button and it calls 999, and a single tap happens to be snooze for the alarm. Just like anyone else I set an alarm to wake to for my Uni classes everyday and a BUNCH of times I ended up double tapping somehow and the same lady would pickup and I'd tell her it was a mistake. Once she even recognized my voice cuz it happened so often and she cut me off and asked if it was a mistake lol. Luckily she was nice and the calls didn't affect anyone because they lasted only a few seconds.
The Leaves of Evil....
Former 911 operator and the STUPIDEST calls I would get were people complaint about leaf blowers. Yes. I worked in an affluent city and it was always the same pretentious people that called to complain about landscapers their neighbors hired using leaf blowers too early in the morning. It got so bad the city was forced to pass an ordinance restricting the use of leaf blowers before a certain time in the morning.
"frequent flyers"
Most annoying today? Or overall? We routinely deal with the worst side of people and deal with daily/hourly annoying calls.
Some of the worst are the "frequent flyers". Multiple alcoholics in town call regularly for rides home. People calling on their neighbors for literally everything. People treating us like information and being fools when we tell them we aren't.
Think about the worst, most annoying tattle tail you remember from school.... They are worse now that they grew up and they rarely call about actual emergencies.
Madame President
over it eye roll GIFGiphyNot a dispatcher but i work in a jail. This is what we saw on the call notes for a call that came into dispatch recently.
RP lives in insert super expensive neighborhood name
RP saw police car drive by, wants to know whats happening with her people
RP stating she is president of HOA and has legal right to know
RP transferred to deputy.
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The Frivolous.
GiphyLittle old lady would call every morning to ask what the weather was like outside. No matter how many times we told her to stop.
A grown man wanted to press charges against someone who flipped him off while driving. beautnight
Bambi's Eyes.
When they released our city's stupidest 911 calls a few years ago, this was one:
There's a deer in my yard. (A weekly occurrence here)
What is it doing?
It's looking at me. Not_A_Wendigo
it was hilarious.....
Not a dispatcher, but firefighter. We were called out to a residence one very frosty morning mid winter during a very long cold snap... because the homeowner couldn't open his front door and was unable to get out to get to work. We drove up, I got out, ready to force the door open, but tried it first. It opened with minimal effort (frozen a bit). I opened the door and called out "Fire department. Did you still need us?" He was so embarrassed and it was hilarious. gorammitMal
Yogi?
GiphyA guy called because an injured bear was in his front yard for "a few hours." It was a giant landscaping boulder that had been there for years. oneofthesesigns
ROOMBA!
I was doing IT work at a dispatch center when a 911 call came in from a woman who said that she came home and heard a burglar upstairs. This was in a small town that doesn't get much crime. The town sent 5 of their own cops plus they requested mutual aid from two neighboring towns.
A total of about 10 officers cordoned off the area and set up a perimeter. Cops went into the house looking for the burglar.
They found that the noise was caused by a ROOMBA that got trapped in a closet. The vacuum was banging against the walls and the closet door trying to escape.
No arrests were made that day. Fortunately, no one was injured, either. dartdoug
The Rinse.
She got shampoo in her eye while showering. She rinsed it out, and her vision was unaffected, but it, like, really stung for a minute. She was 27 and could not be talked out of having paramedics dispatched. When the medics got there, they couldn't talk her out of going to the hospital.
She was fine, at least until she got word from her insurance company that they weren't going to pay for her "frivolous and unnecessary" ambulance ride. jemmo_
Not a Taxi....
GiphyThere are apparently multiple people each month who think they can call the emergency number asking for the police to give them a ride home because they got plastered at a bar and don't want to drink & drive. ConstableBlimeyChips
Finding the Pro.
I had a guy call 911 and wanted to report that a woman had stolen his money. We were swamped that night so I kept him on the line trying to get further information. Upon asking a few more questions about the woman and her description it was obvious he was describing a sex worker.
He then began to cry and begged me to not judge him for hiring a sex worker. I promised him I wouldn't judge him and I would send him an officer as soon as we had one available. He hung up and I pended the call as the woman was no longer on scene. He called back on 911 less than a minute later and proceeded to want to talk about his hiring her until officers arrived.
My partner and I continued to pick up his call after we had to place him on hold several times to take other 911 calls during the 15 minute period it took for officers to get to him. He ended up getting arrested for disorderly conduct that night as he was extremely intoxicated and decided he wanted to have a go at the officers when they arrived. cycleindiana
So Petty.
Because their electricity went out and they wanted the police to fix it. Then got upset when I told them they needed to call their power company.
I've also had someone call because their neighbors tree was dropping leaves into their yard and they wanted the neighbor to clean it up.
And one of the funniest/most ridiculous: because someone's automatic sprinklers turned on while they were walking their dog and they got wet. Wanted to press assault charges.
People call for the most PETTY things ever. I would always have them call back on the non-emergency line as soon as they told me the ridiculousness. 911 is for emergencies only boys and girls! knewfonewhodis
Find the Birds.
GiphyI will never forget that brief period in early 2018 when KFC ran out of chicken and police in the UK received so many calls about it that they had to put out a notice asking people to stop. PoundshopPrincessJas
"He was so embarrassed..."
Not a dispather, but firefighter. We were called out to a residence one very frosty morning mid winter during a very long cold snap...because the homeowner couldn't open his front door and was unable to get out to get to work. We drove up, I got out, ready to force the door open, but tried it first. It opened with minimal effort (frozen a bit). I opened the door and called out "Fire department. Did you still need us?" He was so embarassed and it was hilarious.
"Caller advised..."
- Elderly male was trying to scoop poop out of his constipated wife's bhole and made it bleed. Had to instruct the caller to not try to scoop anything else out of the patients bhole.
- Caller advised someone dead in her front driveway. Asked for an approximate age, said 40-50 year old male. Arrived on scene to find her pet deceased in the driveway. (No wonder she declined CPR)
- "Drunk falcon". Caller reported someone stumbling into the roadway possible drunk. Asking for a description of "him" as the caller told us, and he said brown. (??) To clarify, African American or Hispanic? Caller said.. "uh I'm not sure, light brown? I mean it's a falcon so the normal falcon brown?" I could go on, but honestly every day gets weirder and weirder.
"I once had a woman..."
Medical dispatcher here:
I once had a woman call for an ambulance because her daughter got her hand stuck between the mattress and the wall and she couldn't pull it out or lift the mattress.
I once had a man call because his 13yo daughter had vaginal bleeding. It was her period. Not even her first. He called without telling the daughter or the mom - who had primary custody and had the daughter at HER house at the time.
I once had a woman call because she choked on her food - a "down the wrong pipe" situation - and requested I stay on the line with her until the ambulance arrived because she was scared. She asked me "Do you think I could still be choking?"
I once had a woman call because she thought she felt a lump in her breast and wanted to go to the ER. We're not allowed to tell people to make an appointment with their doctor in the morning, so I sent an ambulance. The kicker: she lived 1 block down from the hospital. She could've walked and saved a lot of money.
"I had a woman..."
I had a woman recently call in upset that a cashier wouldn't cash her lottery tickets after asking her to leave repeatedly.
"He was advised..."
911 call with the reporting party saying there is a jellyfish stranded on the beach. He was advised not to touch it and asked if anyone needed medical assistance that had been stung. No, he wanted someone to come SAVE THE JELLYFISH. I explained that it was a natural phenomenon and that neither Animal Control nor the Marine Mammal Center will respond for that. He screamed at me that I was an animal hater until I had to disconnect.
"I ha
I have a cousin who is a 911 dispatcher, his first ever call, a woman called to get the phone number of one of the cops who had recently been to her house because she hadn't had sex in over a month and thought he was hot.
"Some dude called us..."
Some dude called us to make a "serious complaint" i asked him what was the problem and he said "They gave me like a medium size worth of fries and I asked for large" I was confused and I asked if this was a prank call. He said no. Dude was really pissed of that he didn't get all his fries.
"I could list off calls..."
I could list off calls all day. Been a dispatcher for 4 years now and I honestly thought maybe 25% of calls would be something pressing when someone called 911. I was very wrong. Maybe 2% on a good day. On 5 different occasions I've had people want us to check the area around their house because "my dog is barking and he never barks." When asked if they saw or heard anything they say no. So we go and patrol the area 100% based on a dog hunch.
"She was called..."
Not me personally, but a friend of mine who works as a call dispatcher. She was called just this week by an adult male wanting the police because his neighbour trimmed his hedges over the property line.
Needless to say they didn't pay him a visit.
"A man calls..."
A man calls about domestic violence but when the police arrived he answered the door with a bowl of spaghetti dumped on his head. He and his wife had gotten into a (food) fight. Some of the other casualties were the cesar salad which was dumped on the wife's head and some garlic bread that she used to hit her husband.
A man could not..."
A man could not get through the Capatcha to request an Uber. He may have been a robot.
"All laugh."
When my wife and I were new parents we called poison control because our daughter, who had just started crawling, ate a grasshopper. (Half a grasshopper, actually.)
The operator was laughing so hard she could barely talk. Put us on speaker phone with a whole room full of laughing people. They reassured us by pointing out that this is a delicacy in some cultures. Said it was good with honey.
It became a family joke. "Remember the time she ate a grasshopper?" "No, it was just half a grasshopper." All laugh. She glares at us.
"My mom..."
My mom was a dispatcher when I was really young and they would always get 911 calls of when will the fireworks start for 4th of July, the summer festival and any sort of event with fireworks.
"One day..."
"Chicken by the coffee pot."
The neighborhood we lived in had random stray chickens. (Word on the street was someone was trying to run a chicken fighting ring and the chickens rebelled and escaped, thus creating a slew of stray chickens running amuck. I don't buy it though.) One was actually roosting in my backyard for five days without my dogs noticing... anyway...
My husband is a police officer in the next town over. One day he called me laughing, because he heard through his dispatch radio that our neighbor called 911 because a chicken had broken into their house and was sitting next to their coffee pot.
"She didn't throw away..."
Because her husband yelled at her. She didn't throw away an empty bottle of shampoo. They were both inebriated and eventually, he got on the line too and started explaining that she's messy. I dispatched an officer right away, because not on my watch Kidding. Kidding! But an officer did go out! Lol it was a small country town.
"I'm gonna add..."
I'm gonna add to the stuff stuck up the butt. I didn't take the call but I got to listen to the recording right after my coworker took the call. Guy calls in asking for an ambulance saying he has a fever that won't go away after a couple of days. In cases like this we try to get a little further just in case it's more serious, although it's not uncommon to dispatch for a fever. He sounds fine, completely coherent. He is being really sketchy about explaining his circumstances. After a brief pause he goes "I got something stuck up my butt a few days ago and I can't get it out. Ok, I said it!" My coworker did everything in her power to keep it professional.
Oh, and I was just mocked and chewed out by a caller because we weren't helping him fast enough. Something to do with his neighbor neglecting her dog. He's been standing in his driveway for an hour even though he just called us 10 minutes ago...
"There was a spout..."
There was a spout of people calling 911 because their order was wrong from a fast food place.
"She had a lady..."
My sister worked dispatch. She had a lady call 911 because her neighbours filled there pool and she thought it was too full. When the neighbours jumped in the pool some of the water would splash out and the caller though some water would go on to her property. My sister told her that this isn't an emergency. The lady replied by screaming "But I have a dinner party tonight!". No cops were sent.
"A guy who phoned..."
I was a 999 operator for an ambulance service in the UK. I have had:
*Idiots calling 999 just to wish us happy Christmas or happy new year with no consideration that they are blocking lines for genuine emergencies.
*People phoning to chat because they feel lonely.
*A guy who phoned 999 EVERY NIGHT to say he was having a heart attack but actually just had anxiety. This is actually not an uncommon issue.
*A couple who would phone 999 regularly to tell us that their partner was unconscious and not breathing despite hearing the partner talking in the background...
*People ringing 999 to ask for an emergency ambulance for their pet cat that had been run over.
"A woman called..."
A woman called DEMANDING that her extensive criminal record be wiped.
"Had a call come in..."
Had a call come in once from a man reporting that his ex had broken into his flat and tried to murder him.
What had actually happened was that the ex (who still lived at the property) had come in using her key and opened a window because it was over 35°c (95°f) in the flat. He thought she was trying to kill him by giving him hypothermia. On the hottest night of the year.
"A family member..."
A family member who works dispatch told me they had a call:
"Someone threw a hot dog at me."
"Another..."
Guy calls 999 and asks for police, somone has put cardboard beside their oil tank and I think it's going to explode! Come quick!. Sorry sir, is there a fire? No it's a fire hazard. Ok well if a fire breaks out it isnt the cardboard that you need to worry about and from my recollection cardboard doesn't just spontaneously combust.
Another was, I just poured some oil down a drain buy mistake send police now! Ok sir, this isnt really a police matter. Contact the water service. But I need the police Would you like me to come arrest the oil sir?
"Have a fungal growth..."
Paramedic, but I think I qualify, and there's a few from offer the years. Have writer's block, can't sleep. Have a fungal growth on my scrotum (proceeds to show me despite my protestations). Was stuck in an elevator, was scared I was going to die (though clearly not dead). Parents turned the Wi-Fi off because I'm playing too much Xbox (I did sympathise a bit, it was a double XP that weekend). I have a cloud phobia, I walked outside an saw some clouds. I broke a nail.
Try keeping composed and professional when such rubbish comes out of people's mouths.
"Woman in hysterics..."
Woman in hysterics just totally losing her mind because her son was missing as he hadn't returned from school. First question was "when was he suppose to come home?" Her response was "3pm" it was 1:30.
"Someone called..."
My mum had a call on Christmas Day about 15 years ago. Someone rang in to say their turkey wouldn't fit in the oven.
"Someone called up..."
I used to work for 000 in Aus. Someone called up because there was a spider in their bathroom. I had to put them through to the fire brigade and the lady was screaming and the firefighter was like "just throw a shoe at it". Pretty sure they had to send someone around
"I was once dispatched..."
Retired deputy here. I was once dispatched to a call in the middle of the night in which a lady stated that she couldn't sleep because of a duck quacking outside her window. Fortuneately it was gone before I got there.
We got paged to a guy tripping the other day seeing Jesus in his phone. He was a super cooperative and sweet patient, and just having a really bad night. His douchebag friends kicked him out when he was having a hard time, so we picked him up basically to keep him safe. He had quite the cocktail of drugs on board, so we convinced him (effortlessly, he was very sweet) to let us check out his heart and make sure it wasn't struggling with the mix of uppers and downers. His pulse and BP were rightfully elevated, but healthy.
At that point, Jesus Phone made him call his mom, so he, mom, and myself had a lovely conversation in the ambulance. She wins mom of the year award for being so understanding and supportive of her son in a hard place, and he wins patient of the year for being a good self-advocate and so agreeable despite how scared he was. But don't do drugs, kids, Jesus will appear in your phone and tell you whacky stuff.