30 People Reveal The Most WTF Conversation They Ever Walked In On.

Whether we're walking around in public or just in the next room, we sometimes overhear conversations...out of context.
Below are 30 of the most WTF conversations people have walked in on. Take a peek!
1/30) About two weeks ago a guy walked past me while frustratedly yelling into his phone, "No, I said I'm not trying to invite you to an orgy, damnit!"
-pdxemf
2/30) All I heard as I was walking by the lunchroom was " mayonnaise is not a beverage Sharon"!
-highly_caffinated
3/30) Two girls on the bus sitting in front of me start talking about a date that one of them had recently been on, one of them says "and then he stuck his hand up my skirt" and her friend responds with "the one with the stripes on it?"
-Sue_Ridge_Here
4/30) Not exactly a conversation but there's a guy in the dorm below me. He doesn't know this but I can hear him through the vent in my floor.
He has a young sibling, I think, and he sings to her over the phone at night. I fall asleep to it sometimes.
-Slytherin
5/30) Was on the bus and a small girl and her father were sitting next to me. The kid was misbehaving a bit and wouldn't listen to her father telling her to settle down. Eventually he cries out: "Why won't you do what I tell you to?"
Little girl answers snaps back with: "Mom always tells you to stop washing your balls in the sink but you still do it!"
Needless to say they got off that bus very quickly as every single person around them was desperately trying not to laugh.
-lootapotta
6/30) Girl 1: Are you [Name]?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: Hi! I'm your math tutor.
Girl 2: Oh! You're cute! I'd totally date you, but I'm not a lesbian.
Girl 1: Thanks! I'd date you, too, but I'm straight, and I have a boyfriend.
-Tsunoba
Keep going for more awesome conversations!
7/30) Me and a friend were sitting outside McDonalds when we heard this
"- was banging her hard and she was screaming like "yeah yeah yeah" and she had like 15 orgasms, straight after that I went and banged her sister who was in the next room and she had like 20 orgasms and I hadn't even finished yet because I can go for like an hour because my penis is 20" so it's hard to get it in sometimes, and then after an hour I came 3 times and she was screaming so loud I thought her mum was going to hear and get jealous because I've banged their mum too"
Guy was about 12 and all his friends were hanging on every word in amazement like he was a total stud
-WarriorLone
8/30) My freshman roommate in college would talk on the phone 24/7, to anyone and everyone. His gf, the girl he was cheating on his gf with, and my personal favorite, some random conversation that I was barely paying attention to when suddenly: "Oh! I forgot to tell you...your daughter broke up with me yesterday!"
To this day I kick myself for not paying attention from the beginning.
-timowd
9/30) One gentleman telling another that he could "pop a wheelie in this bad boy" referring to his wheelchair. I had to introduce myself because that is the type of person I need in my life.
-tigerstripedelight
10/30) I was walking past a bar one night and a man was standing outside on the phone and I caught "look man, I need to tell you about the monkey.."
-KindaSithy
11/30) On college campus...a black guy walks up to a black girl he clearly knows, who is wearing a hat and sunglasses... 'Ooooh girl where you going looking all incog-negro?'
-ButterYoBread
12/30) I was deployed to Kuwait and was chilling in the Rec center, the only place on base that gets Wifi. I'm minding my own business, trying to give everyone their privacy but I couldn't help but to overhear, "Well, it would have been super helpful if you didn't suck him off." Given the circumstances, that was really polite of him.
-Wherearemylegs
Keep going, they get even better!
13/30) I was in a bar one night and while you probably wouldn't call this an accident, because she was screaming...a couple were breaking up. She was yelling at him because he didn't want to buy her another drink, because lo and behold she was drunk and making an arse out of herself. To finish her tirade she scream in a high pitch annoying voice:
"...And every time we did it, I faked it!"
To which he looked at her deadpan and calmly asked:
"What makes you think I was doing you for your benefit?"
Drop mic. Walk off to applause and laughter!
-toddsmash
14/30) In an old electronics class we were playing with spectrum analyzers and discovered that the old cell phones broadcast on open frequencies. If you found the spike on the spectrum and tuned into it, you could hear what they were saying. Happened to tune into a couple girls calling some guy so they could come over and smoke some 'doobies'. By the time they were done me and my lab partner had the entire class clustered around listening in. Think half of them were hoping to find out where they were going so they could crash the party.
-jsrsd
15/30) I was at the movies.
"Just wait until your dad hears about this."
"Mom! It's not that big of a deal."
"What you did was disgusting. It was a betrayal of my trust. It was a betrayal of everything I believe in but most of all you betrayed yourself. Once you have the two together, you can never enjoy the one without the other."
"Mom!" Drawn out into about 30 syllables.
"It's no skin off my nose. I've never done what you did. You are never going to go back to a time that you haven't done this."
At this point I am dying to know what this kid did and I'm trying to stay near enough in the crowd to hopefully find out when they are joined by the father.
The mother points accusingly at the kid,
"He had a soda in the movie theater."
"Mom, it wasn't a soda; it was a lemonade!"
"You've mixed sugar and the movies. Now you will constantly want to snack while you're watching a movie. You know I raised you never to eat in front of a screen."
-Griffinsilver
16/30) In Costco and they had giant crab for sale
Little girl: "Dad what do they eat."
Dad: "Little girls called Megan."
-Breadbaker93
Wow. Keep going for the best ones yet!
17/30) My wife and I were at a pretty fancy restaurant, where they have their wine list on iPads. We were in a celebratory mood and decided to splurge a bit and get some glasses of wine that were $15 a pop.
Shortly after we got our wine, this old guy walks in with two young ladies. The sommelier comes up and asks if he had any questions about the wine list....the old dude says, "I trust you, just bring out something that's reasonably priced."
Sommelier looks back a bit baffled and says, "I'm sorry sir, but would you kindly let me know what reasonably priced would be?"
Old dude puts the wine list down, calmly smiles and says "Anything under $5,000 a bottle will be just fine, thanks."
Ended up ordering THREE bottles over the course of our dinner. Crazy and entertaining all at once
-dhslax88
18/30) I overheard two people's epic encounter a while ago.
So a woman comes in to the bakery and as soon as she steps in a man greets her. He proceeds to ask her about what's new and how she's been the last 20 years.
The woman obviously knew the guy and the engage in a 10 ish minute talk about their spouses kids and jobs basically everything new from the last 20 years
Then they decide to meet up next weekend and have a cup of coffee...
The woman then asks him to say hi to his sister from her. And his response is: "I don't have a sister."
At that point both their faces were priceless.
She asks him: "wait? Your name is Pete right?"
He responds: "ehh, no.. your name isn't Karen?
I burst into laughter sitting a few meters away.
They had been talking to a complete stranger about the last 20 years of their lives.
They said bye to each other in an extremely awkward manner and went on their way.
-kosmor
19/30) Overheard more or less: at a past job I was accidentally sent an email from a woman at an office several states away that basically said,
"I've thought long and hard about this, and I'm still apprehensive about it, but I'm ready to meet you at a hotel."
It was followed with about 10 "recall message" attempts.
-dmoted
20/30) Met my boyfriend's family, then walked into the other room. "She's nice and all, but I really liked [ex's name] better. What ever happened to her?"
-tootako
21/30) Girl 1: Why'd you eat my mayonnaise? You have your own.
Girl 2: I like the combination.
Girl 1: so you ate half a jar of mine without asking?
Girl 2: yes, I like the combination.
Girl 1: that stills doesn't explain why you used mine.
Girl 2: I LIKE THE COMBINATION.
-mariabutterfly
Keep going for more hilarious 'eavesdrops'!
22/30) I was walking through a parking lot and a lady drove past.
All I heard was:
"No, I didn't leave a butt plug in your morning smoothie"
-D1nk1n_
23/30) I overheard my 7 year old cousin playing with a hairclip he found "People think im am egg but im actuly a venomous spider I LIVE IN THE OCEAN"
-numbu8
24/30) Was at work and a couple of guys walked past the window, all I heard was "Dude, you really should get her a birthday present, I mean, she did give you a really good blowjob."
Fair enough.
-FroggiJoy87
25/30) At Walmart, two guys maybe 18 years old looking at a box of extenze pills. They were beyond pumped, I heard one say "we're gonna be so huge!"
-badcaliforniadrivers
26/30) Somebody was talking on the phone on my way back to the car from the grocery store
"No I didn't kill him, why would you think that"
Needless to say I probably broke a record for fastest car grocery loading ever.
-Cm0002
27/30) Two old men talking about the plot to My Cousin Vinny. They were trying to remember the name of the movie but they couldn't do it. My wife and I ended up buying their dinner, and we made our own little game based on it called Ambigous Movie Plot where you try and stump the other person by giving just enough details about the movie so it pisses them off when they hear the title, but not enough so they can guess it.
-Anastik
To the last page for the best of the best!
28/30) I was at a graduation party for my best friend when she graduated high school in '07, and a boy she was hanging out with at the time was there. He had to use my friend's house phone to call his mom and the last thing he said to her before hanging up was "I'm a grown man, Mom, I'll skateboard home!"
We still use that to this day.
-generaldisarray420
29/30) I was in a shoe store and a little girl was playing on the floor with her mom. The mom kept asking her to stand up but the little girl would continue rolling around the floor. Finally she rolled under her mom's legs and looked up and said loudly: "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ON ANY PANTIES?" And the mom dragged her out of the store quickly.
-ladyambrosia999
30/30) My high school had a lot of stoners. One day in class I overheard the following,
Dude 1: Hey, so man, you got my stuff in your car?
Dude 2: Yeah, man, I got it. You got the money?
Dude 1: Well, I do, but it's all in quarters.
Dude 2: Quarters? What the hell am I supposed to do with $100 worth of quarters?
Dude 1: Hey man, you just said I needed to bring you $100, you didn't say it had to be in bills.
Dude 2: What... Where the hell did you even get $100 worth of quarters?
Dude 1: Hey, look, do you want it or not?
Dude 2: Whatever man. Meet me in the xxx parking lot after 4th period.
FYI I don't remember the actual amount, but it was somewhere in the $50-$150 range.
-hellaabro
Bonus) While eating at a fast-food joint way out in west Texas during a family road-trip, I took note of a small group of friends (20s-30s men) with large tin boxes full of trading-cards (probably Magic). They weren't sitting too far from us, and the place was quiet enough that we could overhear their discussions fairly well.
At one point, though, one guy began relaying a story about a turtle that he had retrieved from the middle of a road (given the locale, I'd assume it was some sort of desert tortoise). The man had apparently taken the turtle home and placed him in a specific spot in one room, then left briefly to do something elsewhere in the house. Upon returning to the turtle, he was caught very much off-guard by the fact that the turtle had somehow meandered from his original spot to a new location surprisingly far from where he'd started. The distance he had wandered was evidently so great that the man was positively astounded by the athleticism of this turtle.
The surprise he expressed when recounting this rescued(?) turtle's accomplishment was adorable enough, but then he proudly declared what he had named the animal: "Squirmin' German Herman the Magical Teleporting Turtle".
Immediately, I erupted into a barely-stifled fit of giggles. I found myself straining to keep quiet while I almost got a chicken-nugget bolus into my windpipe. That would have made for a very, very awkward eulogy.
-shebbsquids
Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Children tend to believe just about anything they hear.
That there are monsters under your bed, watching too much TV will make your head explode, and silly faces will be permanent if you make them too often.
The sky is truly the limit when it comes to silly things that children will believe.
Some call it naivitée, other's youthful innocence.
But it's hard not to look back with embarrassment on certain things we believed as a child, that today might simply seem dumb.
Redditor Disastrous_Toe_6548 was curious to learn the multitude of silly things people believed when they were children, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?"
Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
Silly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
So that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
The miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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