29 Soldiers Reveal The Funniest Thing A Drill Sergeant Ever Said To Them.
Weve all seen it before drill sergeants in movies making hilarious and sometimes outrageous comments to their subordinates. Well how does this hold up in real life? People reveal the funniest thing theyve ACTUALLY heard a drill sergeant say.
1/29. "I am going to take a sh*t in a box and send it to your parents for sending me theirs!"
2/29. One of our warrant officers took my glasses, drew a crosshair on one of the lenses and introduced me as a "future soldier" to a colonel who was inspecting our training.
3/29. My battle buddy and I were ordered to dig holes, so when were about to our waist he proceeded to turn on a hose. He started to fill the holes with water and told us to stay in the hole. Another drill sergeant walks by and asks him what he's doing. He says "I'm watering my petunias".
4/29. We came back from a run one night, it just was starting to snow. We came back to see all out bunks and lockers had been thrown out. I being not the smartest Pvt. said "I could have sworn I made my bed" drill sergeant was behind me. I painted a fence at midnight in the snow for three hours. I almost cried the whole time while painting that damn fence.
5/29. We were marching back from our mock PT test and the tornado sirens began to go off (Navy boot camp is in Illinois) and we look to our right and there's a tornado forming a couple football fields away in the middle of base. Our RDC, who was already irritated by our failure to line up in time starts yelling "RUN, F*CKERS, RUN!!" And two whole divisions of about 180 people break formation and begin to run to our barracks for our lives. At the time it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, but in hindsight it was actually pretty funny because the RDC caught a lot of sh*t from other RDCs for doing that. He would explain to us, "What the f*ck was I supposed to do? Keep you sh*t heads in rank? Am I supposed to tell you, oh no stay in formation! Keep marching! F*ck no, I'm not trying to die in this sh*thole."
6/29. A recruit interrupted the Chief to say, "Chief, there's a bunny rabbit behind you."
Chief looked like his brain had actually shorted out, then responded, "Is it armed?"
7/29. We had this awesome Staff Sergeant in AIT who brought a sledgehammer he named Mjolnir Thor's hammer everywhere with him. If he caught you f*cking up, he would hand you the hammer and tell you to go dig a hole with it.
8/29. "That's not 4 inches Private! Your girlfriend has been lying to you"
More hilarious stories on the next page!
9/29. "If I wanted to hear sh*t, I would have farted!"
10/29. We do a lot of aid training, such as CPR, wound healing, exposed intestines, chest hole fix, etc etc. The fun stuff. In training, one of the steps is to tell someone to call 911. Specifically point at them and direct them. In combat, this switches to pointing at someone to go get the medic.
We were all lined up at our bunks at the end of the day and the drill instructor was talking. The same as you can see in movies like Full Metal Jacket.
As his final words, he is dictating whom is going to do fire watch for the night. Fire watch is basically someone standing at the main door who guards sleeping recruits and also watched out for any fires or anything else that could kill us in our sleep. There are always two people on watch in our platoon of about 60.
He points at one recruit and says "You, go stand fire watch in the front."
He points at another recruit and says, "You, get dressed for fire watch too."
He points at a third recruit. He hesitates because he realizes that he's already picked two. He suddenly says, "You...." .... "Go call 911."
Funniest thing that happened in all of boot camp. He let us all laugh for about 3 seconds and then told "alright now...enough."
11/29. I left MEPS with a guy from my home town that I had went to high school with, and we got assigned to the same flight. Our drill sergeant heard me call him by his first name, and gave this whole speech about how "If you're so comfortable with each other, why don't you hold each other's hands!?" We stood there and stared at him blankly for a minute, then he seriously made us hold hands for the rest of the f*cking day.
12/29. "Assume the position!"
We were about to do punishment pushups; I forget why. But we were his first female company... and 80 women shouted "Yes Sir!" very... enthusiastically. And threw ourselves onto the deck. While smiling.
Poor man turned a lovely shade of red and ran and locked himself in his office. No pushups were done because our female CC was laughing too hard and she had to leave the room as well.
From then on, she was the one who ordered us to do pushups.
13/29. The drill sergeant did this thing where they would yell "Freeze, Recruit, Freeze". We would have to stop whatever we were doing.
As my bunk mate was running back from the showers wearing nothing but a towel the DS screamed "Freeze, Recruit, Freeze". My bunk mate tried to freeze on one leg and then fell down, naked, and because he was following orders, just laid there naked. I laughed and my DS called me a junk gazer.
14/29.My RDC (navy boot camp instructor) ripped a** all the time. It got to the point where she would always do it at the most quiet time just to beat us later for laughing. My favorite moment was when we were lining up for chow and she walks by and toots so hard the entire line heard it (80+ people) and as she hears people giggling, she whips around and screams, "WHO THE F*CK SAID THAT?!" All the grins were wiped immediately only to hear her follow up, "some a**hole's talking sh*t behind my back..."
15/29.So, I was at Basic in Fort Benning, and we were zero'ing our weapons as a company. Zero'ing a weapon is when you ensure it shoots where you want it to by shooting a paper target repeatedly. Sounds easy enough. Now, I am a terrible shot. I know this. Everyone knows this. However, I get even worse when I'm being screamed at. I spent hours on the line until, finally, there were only four of us cats who hadn't gotten a "go" in the whole company. We had three more hours of range time, and if we failed to zero, we'd be "recycled."
"Recycled" entails having to revert to another company earlier along in Basic Training. So, not only do you lose your buddies, but you catch a couple extra weeks of training with a unit that knows you're a sh*tbird of some sort. So, a fate worse than death.
After another unsuccessful grouping, my drill sergeant, without a word, picked me up from the prone position and stood me up. He looked at me and said "Go find me a pine cone." Confused, I took four steps, scooped up a pine cone and took it back to him. I presented him my findings, and he responded "Private, that's not my pine cone, go find me my f*cking pine cone!"
Keep in mind, this is a forest in Georgia, there's a metric sh*t ton of pine cones. So I jog off and work on my "mission." This entire time, my DS is shooting all my rounds off, genuinely enjoying himself. Every pine cone I bring to him is not his pine cone. This continued for about 15 minutes while the rest of the company, sitting in a clearing eating MREs, cheered me on.
Finally, I breathlessly run up and hand him another pine cone, about to jog off to grab another. He looks at me, then the pine cone, then me. .... "STEVE!" he yells "You found Steve, private!"
I sh*t you not, I had never been more relieved in my entire life, until his face scrunched into a grimace.
"Wait, private, where's his family? ... WHO THE F*CK TAKES A PINE CONE AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY!?"
So, terrified, I spend around half an hour scavenging for appropriate sized pine cones, while he fires maniacally. Eventually, I hunt down his "wife" and his two "kids." (At one point I brought "Steve's estranged son, Dennis", and I needed to do push-ups for causing Steve "emotional duress.")
Anyway he lets me fire (after I prop up the family to "cheer me on"), I go prone, and I zero on the first iteration. He picks me up again, cracks the only smile I ever saw from him, and says "It was all in your head, you dumb f*ck. Good job. Now go do push-ups till I'm tired." He also had me write my congressman later that day to apologize for wasting taxpayer money on bullets.
A pine cone saved my military career.
Continue to the next page for more!
16/29. During roll call, there was a soldier who's last name was Parts, so DS would read out loud, "Private Parts! Private Parts! Where is Private Parts?!"
17/29. Walking by the snake pit when I'm stopped by another MTI who asked if my TI cursed at us. I answered no as they technically aren't supposed to, but they still do. The MTI then grabbed a banana off my plate and said if I wanted it back I had to answer truthfully. Food being a luxury and I do love my bananas, I answered yes and he sent me on my way. Later that day in the day room my MTI comes busting in, "Which one of you motherf*ckers sold me out for a god damn banana?!"
18/29. "If you drop your magazine again before putting your safety on I will kick you in the balls and make you sing like Mariah Carey."
19/29. So I was in the AF basic training. We had this kid, whose name I cannot remember now. Probably because our T.I. (training instructor) had a special name for him.
"HEY Marty McFly! Get over here!"
We all sort of chuckle or fight them off. This goes on for weeks and weeks. Well one day this kid is sort of having a bad day and he keeps f*cking things up. The T.I. loses his mind and says,
"DAMNIT MARTY MCFLY GET OVER HERE AND" blah blah blah. The kid snaps.
"WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME MARTY MCFLY!?"
The T.I. response... "BECAUSE YOUR GLASSES ARE SO THICK YOU CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE."
We all laughed our assess off. And had to do pushups.
20/29. The Senior DS had us all bend over at the waist and put our heads between our knees as low as possible. Then he wanted us to all stand up as quickly as possible while shouting "POP!". Once we did that, he said, "Congratulations men, you've just pulled your head out of your motherf*cking a**!"
21/29. We were lined up in 4 rows, or "Elements."
One day a lone soul lined up in his own element. The instructor came running around the corner staring at this guy. He got right up to his face and screamed,
"ARE YOU BRUCE WILLIS?!"
"No, ...sir" he whimpered.
"THEN WHY ARE YOU IN THE FIFTH ELEMENT?!"
I had to use everything within me to not laugh.
22/29. "He's so dumb, if he fell in a barrel of tits, he'd come out sucking his thumb."
I'll never forget that line.
23/29. I can't even remember why we're being punished, but we've been forced to do exercise after exercise, and at the time we were doing push-ups. It's late at night, I think it was during what (should have been) our 30 minutes of free time to shower and get ready for lights out. Our DS was going off,
"PRIVATES, I WANT TO SEE THE CEILING SWEAT IN HERE. THE WINDOWS ARE STARTING TO SWEAT, THE WALLS WILL BE NEXT, AND I WANT THE CEILING TOO. I WILL DROWN YOU IN YOUR OWN SWEAT"
As she takes a breath in to continue yelling, one kid, from the back of the room goes
"From the windooooowwwwsssss, to the walls!"
She f*cking died laughing on the spot. Only time any of our DS cracked like that the entire cycle. The combination of tiredness and laughing meant like half the platoon crashed into the floor. She walked out of the room laughing. Came back and just said "Go to bed Privates."
More hilarious comments on the next page!
24/29. One of the first days in basic a guy in my platoon was standing at attention while having his room inspected by the instructor.
It didn't matter how nice his room was because there was a large piece of fuzz/fluff on his shirt that immediately drew the sergeant's attention.
"Recruit Bloggins! What is that on your shirt?! Is that a fluffy!?"
"Why is there a fluffy on your shirt Bloggins!?"
"I must have missed it sergeant!"
"Missed it? It is so huge, how did you miss such a big fluffy!?" She picks it off of him "Hold out your hand" He holds out his hand and she places it in his palm "This is Mr. Fluffy. Find a home for him, like a pill bottle or something. From now on, whenever I want to see Mr. Fluffy you must bring him to me."
And so, for the rest of basic, every time the sergeant found a piece of fuzz she would yell out, "MR. FLUFFY!" and Bloggins would have to march over to her and present Mr. Fluffy and she would formally hand him the new piece of fuzz to add to Mr. Fluffy. There was hell to pay if he didn't have Mr. Fluffy with him at all times.
25/29. We were shining our boots when a staff sergeant (called a Sergeant Instructor) from another platoon walked through.
Delbert, a friend of mine, glanced up from his work and made a microsecond of eye contact with the Sergeant Instructor.
SI: "Midshipman, why are you looking at me?"
SI: "Midshipman, do you like me?"
At this point I am listening and thinking "Sh*t, I'm not sure there is a good answer to that question".
Delbert: "Uh, yes, Sergeant Instructor."
SI: "Well liking leads to loving and loving leads to f*cking. Do you want to f*ck me, Midshipman?"
Delbert: "NO, Sergeant Instructor!"
SI: "Then keep your damned eyeballs off of me!"
26/29. My sister platoon had to march around carrying their toilet plungers everywhere. At meal time, the section seniors had to stand at attention, in the hallway outside the mess, holding out a toilet plunger... It was hilarious!
27/29. My T.I. (Air Force) started his lighter right in front of the face of the dorm guard on duty and asked her, "You see fire, what do you do?" It was priceless to watch his jaw hang open when she simply blew it out like a candle.
He took a second to regain composure and lit it up again, asking "There's a fire in the dorm, what do you DO?" She quietly answered "Fire, fire, fire?" and he growled, "Well?"
Then she ran around the room shouting "Fire! Fire! Fire!" like she was supposed to and those of us watching had to fight not laughing and stumbling while going down the stairs.
28/29. "Does it look like I have a sh*t-sweep hangin' between my legs?!!!
In response to a basic trainee referring to her as a "Sir".
29/29."I just want to stand here and stare at my privates!"
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.
Whether or not to bring children into the world is a very personal decision.
While there are many arguments as to why anyone should, or shouldn't have children, it's not a decision for other people to make for you.
Some people dream of being a parent since they were children themselves, and can't wait to shower their own children with love.
While others always dreamed of having children, but for one reason or another, it simply never worked out.
Then there are those who never saw children as part of their life plan and don't feel any kind of void without having children in their lives.
"Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?"
Don't Want Them Enough
"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that."- SignificantFunny1523
Prefer A Good Night's Sleep
"I love sleep."
"I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore."
"I much prefer sleep to children."- DamnIGottaJustSay
How Long Have You Got?
"Why do I plan not to have children?"
"'unrolls a list that's miles long...'"- HagBasket
"This curse ends with me."- DaveTheRoper
Too Short A Fuse...
"Don’t have the patience for kids."- Leoimirmir
When Weighing The Pros And Cons...
"I don't see the upsides."- igna92ts
Plain And Simple
"I don’t want to be a parent."
"That’s a perfectly valid reason."- AllyriaCelene
"Kids are great if you don’t like money or sleep."- ComplicationOnRS
"Clean house, financial comfort, ability to travel/leave the house whenever we want to."- Dear-Cockroach4589
Knowing What's Best For Yourself
"The whole process seems incredibly painful and difficult."
"I'd f*ck my kids up."
"I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a result of my toxic parents."
"I wouldn't be able to properly parent."
"I'm incredibly inpatient and would change my mind 3 months in, if I even made it through the whole pregnancy.'
"I want freedom."
"Having kids means being available and responsible."
"I am not and will not be these things."
"I wanna live for me, live to enjoy life, and I most definitely won't enjoy having kids."
"The world is overpopulated and f*cked."
"I don't see any point in bringing more people to this world."
"I have more reasons but these are my top 5."- mayo_nnais3
"Because I am scared of being a bad parent."
"I can't bring a life in this world just to screw it."
"Thanks for f*cking me up Narc dad."- WaywardRoads
"To quote Homer Simpson 'aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids'."
"I like my lifestyle."
"I am starting a 'college fund", but instead of paying for a 3-year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation."- timberwolf0122
"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid."- Typical_Conclusion_5
There are those who might call people selfish for not wanting children for the reasons listed above.
Perhaps these reasons are selfish, but on the other hand, they know they would not be able to give a child the attention, love, and support they would need.
It's the people who know this and have children anyway who might be considered the selfish ones.
People Explain Which Piece Of Information They've Learned That Almost Feels Illegal To Know
Everyone loves a juicy secret or insider knowledge.
From knowing about a secret love affair happening between colleagues to understanding how to cheat the system when booking a table at a hot restaurant.
There are times, however, when holding onto a valuable piece of knowledge comes with a fair share of stress.
Indeed, sometimes knowing something which isn't common knowledge to everyone feels like it could get you in pretty serious trouble.
Almost as if the simple act of knowing what you do was illegal.
"What piece of information did you learn, that feels illegal to know?
"Sometimes you can play around with URLs and find clean copies of watermarked previews."
"Helps a lot when trying to learn a song that you don’t have sheet music for."- funkycat75Sheet Music Animation GIFGiphy
Not Illegal To Know, But Possibly Illegal To Use
"You can order maintenance keys on Amazon for most models of coin op laundry machines."- Reddit
"You can buy many keys online."
"Among them are:"
"There's the Ford fleet keys, which can get you into cops cars."
"There's firefighter and maintenance elevator keys which let you control elevators."
"You can turn them off, or turn it to fire evacuation mode (it just goes to main floor and is then unusable) and even firefighter/maintenance mode which the elevator will only go where you want it to go.''
"It won't stop at other floors to pick up other people."
"Keys for bulldozers, backhoes, and other heavy equipment."
"Often one key will open many models from the same manufacturer."
"There's also something called a Lishi Tool."
"It can be used to pick locks, but it's also set you to tell you the position of each pin in the lock."
"That allows you to have another key cut from code (useful if you lose your keys and don't want to replace the whole lock.)"
"And of course, handcuff keys."
"I've used a real handcuff keys in toy cuffs, so I'd imagine toy keys could work in real handcuffs."
"Generally these would all be legal to own (except the Lishi which is a type of lockpick and has various legalities around the US.)"
"All you need is an internet connection, a credit card to pay for it and an address to send it to."- David2022Wallacediy colour GIFGiphy
I Mean, They Weren't Going To Use Them...
'If you go to the plant section of a store and walk around, you will likely find a few clippings on the ground."
"You can pick those up and take them home with you and stick them in some dirt and illegally download a plant for free."- periyyas
Can Delete The File, Not The Info
"One time I received an email from my boss with an attachment that he clearly didn’t mean to send."
"It was an Excel file showing the compensation of everyone in my extended department."
"I gawked at it for a few minutes before he showed up at my desk."
"He made me delete it while he watched.'
"He couldn’t delete it from my brain though."- DWright_5shift gmail GIF by Product HuntGiphy
Good To Know, I Guess?
"If you use a natural gas then fire fighters will think it was a gas leak whereas if you use something like gasoline, it leaves identifiable burn marks."- Crash_Junior-
A Helpful Glitch
"Doesn't seem to work anymore, but there was a restaurant chain app that I realized that after I had used rewards points that gave me $6 off one of my orders."
"My usual order was about $12, so about half off."
"I then noticed next time if I selected re-order previous order it would still include that $6 off every time, even though I had nowhere near the rewards points to keep getting that amount off, it just copied all the specifics of the previous order."- turkeysandwich1982
"En passant."- Normal_Public3520Chess GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
Always Look For The Loophole
"In Australia, no electrical apprentice can work within 600mm of green domes ( where houses are connected to underground power) but you can work as close as you want if you don't have any electrical license."- thorpie88
When You're Dealing With Something Bigger Than The Law...
"Jury nullification is something every U.S. citizen should know about."
"Disseminating information about it could actually lead to charges being pressed in certain circumstances, so it kinda is illegal at times."- Mrgoodtrips64
When You Don't Feel Like Paying
"You can just create a new email and extend your trial limit."- HolyFire-Giphy
...Make Friends With A Gardener?...
'In Brazil, it's not illegal to consume and grow hallucinogens mushrooms though it's illegal to sell them."- MuriloJCD
It's always exciting to hold on to secrets or privileged information.
And all the trouble it has the potential to get you into might make it only more exciting.
When I first started interviewing for jobs, I was under the impression that job interviews only go badly if the candidate is unprepared. I was wrong.
I walked into an interview for a staff writer position at a company. As part of the interview, they had me create written pitches for three blog ideas. In addition to pitches, I had to provide writing points.
I left feeling good about the interview and thought my blog pitches were top-notch. I was, at least, right about that part.
After I made several attempts to follow up, I noticed my exact blog pitches on the company’s website. They didn’t even bother to change the grammar. My writing points were fragments, but the company just copy and pasted them, word-for-word, using my pitch as a title.
Then they told me the position was filled. I felt used. I’m still not sure if there was a position available or if they just brought people in to lessen their workload.
According to Redditors, this type of thing happens a lot. Sometimes even worse things happen during an interview. It seems Redditors have gone through all kinds of horrible interview experiences, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor itsPatrii_ asked:
“What happened in your worst job interview?”
“I applied for a particular position in a sporting goods store. It was for the hockey/skates section.”
“The manager posted the wrong position, it was supposed to be in a department I know nothing about. She got mad at me because it was apparently my fault that she messed up on the job ad. Like actual mad saying I was wasting her time and this and that.”
“Had something similar. Internship at the governor's office while I was in college. I wanted to work with the judicial nomination committee, applied just for that. Get there, and that internship was actually already full, but she never notified me beforehand. She let me interview on the spot for something else, showed me the list of what was available, and I selected the constituent services office.”
“We start the interview and she asks me all these questions about the governor’s policy positions, which I’m not 100 percent familiar with. She scolds me for being unprepared, so I remind her curtly that this wasn’t even the internship I had applied for and that I WAS prepared to interview for the judicial committee, and that SHE didn’t warn me that it was already full until I got there, so how I could be prepared to interview for something else randomly? She mumbled something like, “oh yeah, right…”
“I got the internship. It was good, but citizens can be nuts.”
The Phone Keeps Ringing
"Reading these, mine is pretty tame, but here it goes:
I had an interview for a sales position at a life insurance company. I show up and it's actually a group interview - huge red flag there. One person audibly says "f*ck this sh*t" and walks out 10 minutes in. I want to do the same but I'm polite so I stick it out and then leave at the end without saying anything.
2 days later they call back and ask me if I want to come in for an interview. I assume they mean a follow up interview, and I decline and say I wasn't interested. 2 days later they call me again for the same thing. Eventually I realize they aren't asking me back for a 2nd interview, they are so disorganized and their turnover is so high that they don't realize they are calling the same people over and over again. This goes on every couple of days for 2 weeks before the calls finally stop."
Age Is Just A Number
"I sat down, and these two women stared at me. Finally one of them said, "We thought you were younger." (I am in my 60s). After she said this, she got up and left."
"The other one (turns out she is the manager), was rude and cold, tossed a few questions at me, then got on her cell phone."
"I finally said, "Look if we're done here, (she was staring at her desk, ignoring me), I have another interview." I left."
"Later, I reported both of them to the district office. District manger said, "We've had many reports about her.""
"The manager got fired. I was offered another interview. Declined."
We Just Need Your Help
"It's was for a software engineering position. The entire interview was focused around solutioning for a very specific problem. Was about 45 mins of the interview team saying things like "That won't work, we tried that already.""
"Left the interview without getting a solution to the problem. On the way out, I spoke with HR about what the potential next steps in the interview process were. She informed me they already filled the position, but didn't cancel any of the scheduled interviews."
"I was brought in to solve problems the team couldn't solve. For free."
"I got flown out for a job in Minnesota. Interview seemed to be going very well. Was there all day and they asked me what I thought were a lot of hypothetical questions. At the end of the interview they asked me to do a case study for them as part of the interview process. I went back home to NY and did the case study the next day. Didn't hear anything from them for a week and decided to reach back out. The response I got from the recruiter was that they liked my solutions for the case study but they seemed too "extreme" for their problem. I responded that I thought this was a hypothetical scenario and if they actually had this problem. The recruiter told me it was in fact a real problem they were having and that they wanted outside ideas."
"So... there was never any job? The recruiter said that if any of the candidates ideas panned out they may consider offering them a position. I felt used. They misrepresented themselves and took my ideas free of charge with the allure of possibly getting a position within the company. Is it a grey area of fraud? Is it actual fraud? I don't know but I was pissed and wrote the recruiter, the hiring manager, the SVP of HR and the CEO of the company a pretty harsh letter about their behavior."
People Can Be So Rude!
"Fell down the stairs when I was being shown around the building. Ended up breaking both fibula, a few bones in each foot, tearing some ligaments and cracking my tailbone. This happened in September and I'm still in pain."
"After the fall, I sat at the bottom of the stairs crying for about 15 minutes and finally managed to pull myself up. The woman showing me around said "So does this mean you don't want the rest of the tour?""
"They just left you there for 15 minutes, crying in pain? Didn’t bother calling for help? What the hell? And how tone deaf is that person to even ask if didn’t want the rest of the tour. Jfc"
No One Works For Free
"We'd evaluate your performance for a month then you'll start getting payment from second month"
"I'll start evaluating the salary for a month and then I'll come to work for the 2nd month if I like it."
"Logged onto a scheduled zoom interview for a highly paid position. Someone was also logged in, waiting. I assumed this was my interviewer. Nope. They were also waiting to be interviewed. Okay…. So we’re competing for the position? Cool, I guess. 4 more people proceed to log on, waiting for their interview. Never done a group interview before but was ready. It was awkwardly silent between us all. About 15 minutes go by… no one is logged in to interview us. 30 minutes in, we all start conspiring that one of us is secretly the interviewer and conducting a social experiment. Nope, we all just got scammed. Logged off."
"Group interviews usually mean MLM"
"My background: I’m an Iraq war Army Veteran. Shortly after returning home to civilian life, I had an interview. Interviewer made a comment after seeing Army on my resume that she hoped I understood that if an issue arises at work that I can’t just go war mode and shoot the place up. I was appalled someone would even say something that stupid to me. I literally just stood up and told her to interview someone else and left. Looking back I bet she didn’t think it was her audacious comment, but that I actually would have some crazy reaction and walked out."
"Should have gone into war mode."
"Not me, but a guy interviewing to join my team was so nervous he passed out, faceplanted on the table, and ended up with a nosebleed. We didn't hire him."
"A long, long time ago, fairly fresh out of college, pounding the pavement in Manhattan, looking for work, probably office work but doing anything. I was interviewing at a direct marketing company. “Now, you know what direct marketing is, right?”"
"“Yeah, I said. “That’s what’s called junk mail, right?”"
"He paused for a minute and said, “Well, that’s not what we call it.”"
"It was a short interview."
"I got a nose bleed. Gushed all over the conference table and down my blouse. Ran to the bathroom and after the bleeding stopped they wanted to continue the interview. So there I was with blood stains all down my shirt and blood all over the table. 🤦🏼♀️"
Well, That Went Well
"Went in for an interview for a writing job. The guy started asking me if I would do sales stuff as well and I said I didn't really have any experience in sales. He told me to hold on a minute and left the room. I sat there for a while and realized he wasn't coming back so I got up and left. As I was leaving he was standing outside the door smoking. He said sorry you aren't hired."
That's The Way To Make An Exit!
"She started to gossip about all the other employees, about 5 others. She told me a lot. I ended up taking the job and had to quit thee days later because she made the workplace miserable. As I left I told everyone the stuff she said about them and two others walked out with me. It was awesome."
Take It Off!
“They asked me to take off my shirt to prove I didn't have gang tattoos, I walked out without saying another word.”
“Um yeah, asking someone to remove their clothes in an interview at all is crazy.”
“*Silently mouths the words: "I'm wearing a wire - the FBI wants to raid you" while vigorously pointing at my chest”
I think I just lost all faith in humanity.
These Redditors cannot be alone. Do you have any crazy stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.