People Share The Absolute Worst Relationship Advice They've Ever Received
Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.
- People Share The Worst Relationship Advice They Have Ever Gotten ›
- People Who've Taken Bad Relationship Advice From Internet Strangers Explain How It Played Out ›
Life is beautiful.
But life is really damn arduous.
Every day we're witness to the unfairness of it all.
That can cause some deep internal struggle.
And then that's why people change.
Sometimes for the worse.
Redditor Brianna6871 wanted to compare notes on what makes us all... over it, so they asked:
"What has caused you to become bitter?"
Becoming bitter is easy. I try to fight against it.
Loyalty is overrated...Happy Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Being with my company for 8 years then finding out new people that I trained make more than me."
"If it makes you feel any better, this is very common. Loyalty is overrated. The more you stay, the more they take you for granted. I also made the same mistake."
"Attempting to stay in contact with friends and then realizing they wouldn’t do the same for you once you stop."
"I agree. I used (and still do, to some extent) to have the mentality of 'don't make it into a competition, if you care about someone- contact them!'" And I did. But after 10 times of being the one initiating the conversation I just wonder if they'd bother to do the same."
"Each time they say 'I've been meaning to call you!' and they never do. And I'm talking good friends who share history together, not someone I met a month ago at the gym. I still love them of course, but this bugs me and leaves a bitter taste whenever I think of them."
"Expectations. I had these expectations about how life was supposed to go, how I was supposed to be. Life didn't work out that way, and I know it was my own doing by having those expectations, but I'm still bitter about it."
"I find that going from 'promising and intelligent young person' to 'average middle-aged man' has been a hard pill to swallow that snuck up on me. I will say that having a young child and great partner still gives me lots of joy and hope."
"Working in healthcare."
"Worked a decade in healthcare, seven years in the military and three as a civilian. Every professional I ever met, from the doctor on down to the nursing assistant, was burned out and sick of seeing patients. It was amazing I stayed as long as I did."
"Yes, I feel like part of me changed drastically because of this. Don't get me wrong, I really like to work in a hospital but sometimes it make me lose faith in humanity."
LifeAngry Aubrey Plaza GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Aging and realizing that good, kind people suffer and die far more often than the sh**heads of the world."
Aging is a good thing but can be sad. Who doesn't miss the past?
Nothing to do...I Have No Idea Reaction GIF by MTV Movie & TV AwardsGiphy
"After realizing that hard work is not fairly rewarded. Someone else who is lazier and/or less competent can get something that you wanted/deserved, and there's nothing you can do about it."
"The death of my wife."
"I’m with you. My husband died 3 years and 4 days ago at the age of 42. It’s not just that your favourite person and best friend in the world is gone. It’s that everything you thought would be your future is gone too."
"Cancer f**king sucks."
"Dude I'm so sorry I couldn't imagine. Just know she wouldn't want you to be bitter at the world. She would want you to be happy, easier said then done but do some s**t for you man maybe take a trip or something."
"Nothing will ever change the pain, but shaking life up might at least mix it up with other emotions. All the love!!"
"Realizing my childhood trauma left me unable to form meaningful relationships and now I have to invest a crap ton of money and time to maybe (!) achieve some sort of progress and peace. I envy the people who grew up with loving parents and have the confidence to choose good friends, partners and look at life with hope."
Worse and worse...
"The unshakable hopelessness that the world is only getting worse and worse. No matter what we do to try and better ourselves financially will be met with some new corporate bullshi**ery that will knock us back down. I'm losing my motivation to keep pressing forward. I just want to retreat into my apartment and do what makes me happy until I die."
"Working on my masters in education right now, and as much as I want to teach in school, all the horror stories I see all over the place are making me wonder if this is the right choice. It really feels like I'm jumping into a bureaucratic hellhole, but I've invested this much time, money, and energy into this career that I have to see it through."
"My ex cheated on me. My job told me a bunch of lies to get me in the door and now I feel mistreated. Housing is a nightmare and landlords just take your application money and give the place to someone else. It feels like everybody is just out for themselves and I can’t trust what anyone says. I’m tired."
Oh HumanityGood Night No GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy
"The general public has gotten so much worse over the years. I really dislike having to interact."
Life can certainly get us down. Even if we try squeezing the lemons into lemonade, you tend to get some pulp in your eye.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments
People Divulge The One Secret That Would Change The Way People Saw Them If They Found Out
Everyone has a secret–a shameful history, an embarrassing tendency, or a life hack they want to keep to themselves.
Whatever it is, secrets can either completely destroy one's reputation because of a regretful past or make them venerated for an admirable act done anonymously to avoid praise.
These mysterious qualities keep you from fully understanding who your friends really are.
Do you truly really know your boss, the person you've looked up to all your life, your child, or even your spouse?
What would happen if you discovered something about them that wasn't intended for you to find out?
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Difficult-House6853 asked:
"What’s a secret that would change how the people around you look at you if they knew?"
If you think you know everyone in your little community, you have another think coming.
Former Group Member
"I was in a cult for a couple years."
The Escape Plan
"All of my friends and family are Jehovahs witnesses, they think I am but I plan to leave. 85% of them will shun me when I leave."
"Our house was the first one on our street to be built. My husband and I had sex in every single house on our street while they were under construction. I imagine our neighbors would look at us differently if they know we’d f'ked in their house before they even had a chance to."
The discussion people have with themselves can be startling.
The Passive Confidante
"People think that I’m a good listener, and that just makes them say things to me that they really shouldn’t. I’m only listening because I don’t want to be rude, not because I care. Don’t tell me your family secrets, please."
"My intrusive thoughts. Holy sh*t sometimes i surprise myself on how gnarly i think in just a second."
All The Vulernabilities
"How incredibly terrified I am nearly all of the time. I'm not confident, I don't think I'm in control any more, I don't think I can do this. And still, here I go"
Let's play trivia with the people you think you know well.
"I’m a convicted felon. Nothing violent, a white collar crime."
"I have a very hard time liking/growing fond of people, even after knowing them for years. I could just drop all contact with them and not miss them at all. Was like this even as a child, all the way to now…"
More Than Meets The Eye
"I’m a janitor. But I’m worth over a million dollars because I own real estate."
Everyone is entitled to keeping secrets.
But has anything good ever come as a result of revealing something you've kept close to yourself?
I have. Coming out while I was in college made me feel like a heavy burden was lifted once I received an outpouring of love and support from friends and family.
What changed was not only their perception of who I truly was, but also how I viewed them.
I regretted having underestimated them–thinking they wouldn't embrace me for who I am as a person–when the exact opposite wound up happening.
I do acknowledge that everyone does not have the same experience.
I've been very lucky and I count my blessings for all the love surrounding me in my life.
Due to the nature of the discussion, this article contains movie spoilers.
There's nothing quite like sitting down to watch an incredibly good movie with equally great company and food.
But the movie can become a particularly special experience if it's surprising in some way, like having a unique plot twist.
Redditor Gooderzk asked:
"Which movie has the best plot twist?"
"'The Prestige.' It seems so obvious when I rewatch it, but when I first saw it I was blown away. The ending was a big shock to me, as well."
"I love how the movie tells you exactly what will happen in the opening scene, and you spend the whole movie letting yourself get fooled exactly like it said, but then the prestige happens."
"'Inside Man' is a good movie like 'The Prestige.' It tells you what is going to happen at the start and there’s so much sh*t going on for the rest of the movie you absolutely forget they ever did that until you get to the end."
"I would never call it my favorite, but I always thought its twist elevated a would-be schlock story into something memorable."
"When I read the question, 'Primal Fear' is the first thing that popped into my head. Great movie with a great twist at the end."
"Yeah, it's gross, but 'Saw' had a great plot twist."
"Not only is it a great twist, it’s not at the end, either. There’s one movie, the twist, and then allll the fallout afterward. It doesn’t just twist and fade to black."
"That plot twist redeemed it for me. I just wasn't enjoying it, and then bam, 'What the h**l did I just watch!?!'"
"'Arrival' has an incredible twist and is probably my favorite movie of the last 20 years."
"The twist holds up incredibly well on repeat viewings. That's the sign of a good twist in my opinion. The bad ones (including some mentioned here IMO) tend to invalidate a lot of the movie. Great twists add layers of depth to previous events."
Cabin in the Woods
"Well, the entire movie is one big twist; 'Cabin in the Woods.'"
"Not spoiling it. It must be watched blind, but, totally worth the watch."
"Hard to find the Korean version, but in my opinion, 'Oldboy' is a must-watch if you can find it. It’s English subtitled but nothing could prepare me, lol (laughing out loud). Don’t watch the remake, only the original version."
The Sixth Sense
"'The Sixth Sense' was such a big deal that the director is still able to make big budget flops over and over again anytime he wants to."
"Am I the only person that wanted to jump into the screen and strangle that woman???"
"Just from watching that movie I've had this hatred for the actor that played the chick, she did such an insane job of depicting her character that now I just cringe at her face in other movies."
"'Se7en.' I was not expecting that ending and will never watch that movie again."
"I went from, 'Hey, this is a really fun and entertaining movie, but why is it up for an Oscar,' to 'Holy f**king mother of God' in about five seconds flat, lol (laughing out loud)."
"'Shutter Island' is an obvious pick."
"Probably the greatest plot twist I've ever seen, at least on par with 'The Sixth Sense,' in my opinion."
"And it gets even crazier when you realize that Andrew Laeddis was faking his delirium at the end because he wanted to be lobotomized. He had fully 'come back' to his normal cognitive capacities but simply couldn't live with the guilt over what he had done."
Crazy, Stupid Love
"I was taken by surprise during the twist in that movie."
Book of Eli
"I wasn't expecting the twist. But if you rewatch the movie, you actually see it's shown since the beginning. D**n, Denzel Washington can act."
For those who love a movie with a solid twist, this list is a great place to start. In the meantime, for those of us who have seen these films, it might be time for a rewatch.
Americans Explain Which Common Things Europeans Do That Seem Like Total Luxuries
It's not surprising that each country is different, with various beliefs and rules, but what is always eye-opening is what one country will deem a basic necessity, another will deem an expensive, even allusive, luxury.
Americans in particular are often perplexed by the luxuries that Europeans are able to enjoy on a daily basis, which Americans would not be able to have without paying a premium.
Redditor Specialist-Metal-458 asked:
"Americans, what do Europeans have every day that you see as a luxury?"
Required Vacation Time
"My husband (we’re Canadian) did his post-doc in Finland; when he was signing his contract, they said, 'You’ll get six weeks paid vacation and you HAVE to take it.'"
"He was shocked. He had friends elsewhere doing post-docs who were doing 14-hour work days, six to seven days per week, and with no vacation, let alone PAID vacation."
"One of the years when he was nearing the end of his cycle, HR reached out and in a panic said, 'You have 3.5 days that you HAVE to use,' unbeknownst to us. So, we booked a trip for an extended weekend away."
"I miss that. And it’s something we both negotiate when starting new jobs; rather take a bit of a lower salary with more vacation time."
"Six weeks vacation, extra pay just for vacation (at least in Germany), government healthcare."
"Wait. Is that paid... paid vacation??"
"Yes, lots of companies give half a month extra pay for vacation each year. Some also give half a month's extra pay for Christmas. It's like, 'Here's some extra money for you to have a nice vacation or a nice holiday.' It's quite common for larger companies."
"I am an American who is now living in Sweden and a Swedish citizen, and I will never NOT be amazed that I have the legal right to four continuous weeks of paid vacation during the summer. THE LEGAL RIGHT."
"This is only really true for Southern Europe, but cheap wine by the glass, cheap coffee, and pastries."
"Cafes in the US are marketed as very trendy and if you want a pastry and a coffee, you should be ready to pay eight to ten dollars. In most of Italy, Portugal, and Spain, you can get coffee and a croissant for three euros (approximately three dollars)."
Particularly Affordable Wine
"Where I live in Spain, the standard price for a glass of wine in a cafe or every day (non-fancy, equivalent of a diner) restaurant is 80c - €1. In a restaurant, I’ll usually order a half liter for about €4 (That’s 2/3 bottle of wine)."
"Soda and bottled water are more expensive. Soda is usually €1.20-1.60."
"At Denver International Airport last month, I paid $23 for a glass of wine that I know would cost about $7 per bottle at Costco. Probably €4 per bottle in Italy. It was like getting robbed in broad daylight without a gun, but I get really nervous before flying."
"Time! I spent time abroad in Italy for school, and there was just so much less of a 'rush' everywhere. Oftentimes the latest person to my classes were professors. Everyone really took their time and I didn't really feel the bustle of constantly 'going' somewhere when I was there."
"I mean, dang, the village my apartment was located in shut down for a few hours in the afternoon so the shopkeepers could go have lunch. It was wild."
"Affordable universities… our daughter is going to university in Scotland. Our US friends always respond with shock at the 'luxury' of going overseas for school until I tell them it’s half of the cost of an equivalent US college. That includes travel expenses."
Accessible Public Transportation
"This blew me away traveling in Europe. It doesn’t matter where you are, even if it’s some middle-of-nowhere farm town, you’re never far from a train station, and you can just hop a train and go anywhere you want."
"I would love to have that here, but noooo, we only have rail links between some major cities, and since I live in a more rural area, I have to drive four or more hours everywhere. In Europe, all I had to do was drive 20 minutes to a train station and then just chill on the train for a few hours. It was great!"
"An American friend of ours was gobsmacked that I have a well-paid, head of department level job, don't work unpaid overtime, and get 33 days paid holiday a year, with eight days of public holiday on top."
"They can travel between different countries in Europe without spending days driving or flying."
"And without border controls or checkups! I can just sit in a car here in Germany and drive to France and all the other EU countries, just realizing I’m in another country because of the traffic signs."
"Once I sat in a Train and slept in, after like 30 minutes I woke up, got off the Train, and realized I’m in Enschede, Netherlands. (Living in NRW, so pretty close to the border). I was like Hm, okay, I've got 50€ in my pocket, so I decided to visit a coffee shop and walk a bit through the City until the next Train in the right direction arrived. Like I’d do in every other City while traveling by train."
"Being able to walk around town with a beer is awesome."
"Public transportation in non-huge cities is also awesome."
"Bathroom stalls that actually go to the floor. I don’t need to know what shoes the guy taking a s**t next to me has on."
"Don't forget the intentional gaps on the doors."
E. All of the Above.
"Healthcare. Life work balance. Walkable communities. Great train service."
Legitimate Sick Days
"I recently read a post about an American residential doctor who couldn't afford to take a vacation because they had to spend it on sick days."
"Not going to lie, my brain short-circuited at that a bit. Was a doctor supposed to come sick to a hospital full of other sick people to avoid personal financial penalties?"
Paid Parental Leave
"Paid parental leave. I had used all of my leave with my first kid, so when I had another kid a year and a half later, I was back on my feet teaching in under six weeks."
"Dogs get better treatment than working mothers."
The Need of a Car
"Not having to use a car every single time that you leave your house... For a lot of people, you have to go drive somewhere to safely take a walk... This place can be a h**l, and it is numbing."
It's All About Perspective
"As a European, I'm amazed how you guys (Americans) are looking at certain things I consider basic needs as luxuries."
As the final Redditor pointed out, it's terrible to think that Americans see what others view as basic necessities as a luxury that they can only dream of having.