As someone looking for a job, you should know that you are interviewing the prospective employer just as much as they are interviewing you. These people reveal what made them steer clear of these potential jobs.
What happened during a job interview that made you not want the job?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Contracts are importantGiphy
English teacher looking for a position. Second interview went well, interviewers said they wanted me to be on their team and that they would set up an appointment to sign the contract by the following Monday. I called to check in on Wednesday and was told that I would receive a call by Friday. Called on Friday afternoon and was told that the person responsible would be calling me back that afternoon.
The following morning, received a phone call from the principal checking in on whether or not HR had been in touch. He promised to "light a fire under them." I started interviewing elsewhere as back up. After three weeks of this kind of back and forth I let them know I had accepted a different position, one which had passed me a contract to sign ten minutes after the interview.
When there is nothing to hide
Shady dude was the only person there in literally an empty storefront (job was for computer repair). We actually sort of hit it off, got into a long discussion about music production and he actually burned me a couple of cds of pirated software for my studio.
Then he explained that the job was really crap and I should find something else. Found out later that the whole business was a scam and he embezzled a bunch of money and ran off without paying his employees. Dude must have genuinely liked me so he didn't hire me.
Late is never goodGiphy
When i had a interview at 8:30, but they didn't call me in until 9:30
When everyone is quitting
Did an on the job interview with a security/ locksmith company. Interviewer got a phone call from his boss and they got into a huge argument and he quit right in the middle of the job/interview. I just kinda went home and pretended it never happened.
When the ad doesn't match the job
Was interviewing for a management position, they said that I first had to work an "amount of time" as a rep. On a rather low pay.
Yeah ... don't advertise a management position if it's basically a ploy to get cheap reps.
When the interviewer double booked and insist she interview us together, then proceeded to compare our answers in real time, in front of the other candidate. When she called me three weeks later, outside of work hours, to offer me the job she seemed genuinely surprised at my refusal!
Is this job even open?
Interviewing for a position as an advisor for a financial firm. The manager then gave me the floor for questions:
Me: "Is this a new role or am I replacing someone?"
Interviewer: "Well we had three advisors in this department and I laid off two of them, because I felt we were overstaffed. You would be the replacement"
Me, thinking in my head: "Ok I think we're done here"
When we got to salary negotiations, and they literally wanted to give me HALF of what I was expecting.
When you have connectionsGiphy
My interviewer turned out to be a former co-worker from a previous job. Great dude, we always got along. Ten minutes into the interview he leans forward and quietly says, "the job's yours if you want it, but you don't want it. Trust me." I did trust him. I thanked him and left..
When the interview makes you feel gross
I discovered I was being pitched a job as a life insurance salesman for the purpose of taking old people's money.
I felt gross just being there.
When you get the job but never start
They called me to tell me they were going to offer me the job, but I needed to talk to HR. Then I got bounced around for a couple of months, where HR, the department hiring me, and the finance department kept giving me a start date and then pushing it back.
"I suppose, if you put it that way, we are getting our initial site data by violating several US anti-hacking laws."
When you aren't really sure
I walked into the interview with no real idea what the job actually was. I walked out of the interview with no real idea what the job actually was.
To this day, I still don't know what that job was.
When overtime is not paid
Them: How much overtime are you willing to work?
Me: As much as you're willing to pay me for.
Them: Well, we don't pay for overtime.
Me: You are legally obligated to compensate me for overtime.
Them: Well, it won't be much, but, are you willing to put in extra hours? What kind of compensation would you be looking for.
Me: Cash. And for you to have this system worked out already. I'm out.
Way to sell the job...Giphy
Engineer '09 grad, applied to work as an engineer for a coal mine. They took us for a underground tour, essentially making sure nobody freaked out. One of the guys who had been there a long time was leading us... with a bad limp i might add and said "its not if you will be hurt, but when and how bad" this wasn't very long after a safety meeting talking about a guy crushed himself operating heavy equipment at another site a few days before.
Sometimes the signs are clear
I always get a few questions in myself, and I always ask the person who would be my boss, "What do you like about your job?" One time, my future boss said "I don't really like my job" and went on to explain why he didn't like being a manager in the company. That was the end of me wanting to be his employee.
When they don't tell the truth
I've had multiple places blatantly lie about their compensation and benefits up until the actual interview. Last time I was job searching I think I walked out on three places.
They told me that I couldn't use the bathroom whenever I wanted and most people end up with incontinence.
What happens behind closed doors...
The boss passed by, came in to say hi and shake my hand, which left a good impression on me. Not even 30 seconds later I could hear him screaming and chewing out one of the employees in another room and slam a door.
It immediately reminded me of this old SNL sketch.
They made a reassured me that what they did in the business wasn't illegal
Back in September....Giphy
I'm in college so I was looking for a job while I was home for this summer, and I applied at Target. They called me and asked a few questions, one of them was when I was going back to school. I told them the last week of August, and they said they couldn't hire me because I couldn't work through the first week of September, which is really busy for them. I was somewhat upset but it wasn't that big of a deal for me. I moved on and applied to a few other places. A few weeks later they called me and said they looked at my application again and they changed their mind and invited me in for an interview. I was excited and I was glad that I had a second chance. I go in and everything in the interview was going well. They finally asked when I was going back to school, which was weird to me because they already asked me that before. I told them the first week of August. Then the interviewer said that they couldn't hire me because I wouldn't be there for the first week of September. I asked why they even called me in and I explained what happened. The interviewer said that she had no idea that they called me before.
I was very upset that they wasted my time like that. natethegreat34
Duck and Cover....
I'm an accountant. I walked into this company for a job interview and knew something was off. It was on the 40th floor in downtown San Francisco. Had like 6 offices. Had 2 corner offices. Had A section of the office had 10 cubicles. Had a boardroom that can seat 14.
Unfortunately had no employees. Just like 4. The "president" was an expert in his field. At one time. Now he's old and should have been in a nursing home. He had 3 "secretaries." These people were supposed to be servicing over 300 clients money. How ? Something was fishy as hell.
Turned out later I learn from someone that he was stealing money to finance his lifestyle. Which at one point was extravagant but he was at the tail end of his scam. He was borrowing money to keep it up. He was being investigated by the IRS (someone blew the whistle) but IRS never followed up until someone reported him because he was essentially running a money management firm without a license.
Then it all came down. By then, he was so old he couldn't stand trail. His secretaries pleaded "we didn't know" and been bleeding him dry by making him sign random stuff. He died one day. It was sad. He got away with everything. Stealing from people who most likely were stealing money from someone, may it be shady sources of money to ripping off the taxpayer.
I did dodge a bullet. Reddit
After college, I was desperate for a job and threw my resume everywhere.I got a call for a company and I thought it was a graphic design position (I majored in history but had a knack for graphic design, so I was amazed I got a call.)
Well, I got there and was immediately told it was a Christian telemarketing company and I'd be a telemarketer making commission. I said the position was clearly for graphic design and the woman told me it was to "draw potentially talented candidates in." They showed me a list of all the charities they did telemarketing for and I recognized none of them. They weren't religious either. They wouldn't let me take home anything that said charity names on them, but I memorized a few and couldn't find anything about these "charities" when I looked them up at home.
I tried to be as polite as possible through the 2 hour ordeal which had me shadowing a telemarketer, who told me that elderly people were the best to get money out of.
I have absolutely no idea why they kept pitching they were a Christian company when what they were doing was so un-Biblical, but I digress.
It's been 5 years since I interviewed there. I happened to go by the building a few months ago and it's now a medical center. I wonder what happened.... ArtByKC
I prepared for an interview a few weeks ago, worked on what to say for a couple of days and as usual got pretty worked up and nervous beforehand. I go to the interview where the guy sits me down and tells me this is nothing more than just a quick informal chat (and here's me in a full suit sweating my butt off having prepared 100 questions/answers in my head).
He then proceeds to say that I'm not suitable for the job I have applied for, he thinks I'm overqualified, but he is thinking about creating a different position in the company I can fill. I ask what the position is, he rambles for a good 20 minutes straight (no joke) about me filling a new job but the job doesn't yet have a training scheme or any kind of official description/documentation. He wants me, as part of the job, to create the job's training scheme for the job I'm literally learning to do.
I sat there confused as hell, he hasn't got any notes with him and is just improvising this entire 'job description' where I, as a fresh graduate, am in charge of 38 people's IT systems on my own with no proper experience. I ask what the pay and hours are, "oh, I haven't even thought about that yet."
So I went for an interview that wasn't even a proper interview or related to the job I'd applied for. Such a waste of time. Toby95
Applied for a job in Clearwater, FL. In-person interview was normal enough got passed through to a secondary interview. At the start of the secondary was asked to take some tests. I think no big deal, been there done that with other jobs. They hand me a book sized stack of papers with hundreds of questions. I look down at the bottom of the sheet and in small print it stated that this test was created based on the concepts of L. Ron Hubbard and printed by The Church of Scientology..... I stood up... put the stack back on the ladies desk and noped the heck right out of there. elusivegroove
Out I go!
You've had a lot of jobs. Yes. They were temp jobs. But why so many. They were with the same agency. But why do you leave them after a short time? Because they were temporary assignments? I don't understand. How do I know you won't leave here? Because I won't be working here.. goodbye. Thick as s**t. Reddit
Just Hang Up!Giphy
I had a phone interview with a company that bragged about having an on-site doctor. To me that meant 1 of two things.
- it was so stressful to work there they had a doctor on site for liability.
- if I needed a sick day I would be expected to see that doctor instead of my own.
I ended the interview right there. click_baiter
Life Ain't Free....
"Oh, we won't be paying you during your probation, which is about 3 months."
And this was an entry level job. rolling_inthederp
Oh ok no problem, i wont be working during my probation. Rationalbacon
Being Hunted isn't the best!
Being headhunted from my then current job as a manager in a small but busy and successful café to work for this large, posh hotel.
They phoned me and said that they had found my stored CV online (which I hadn't removed since finding employment) and that one of their board members had been impressed with me as a customer in the café. They offered me an interview and a job with potential to move up, etc. and that I'd be starting as the restaurant manager on great pay, benefits, etc.
It sounded great and being quite pleased that I had just been headhunted for the first time, I went along to the interview which was within the restaurant I'd potentially be working. I turn up in my best suit and this guy comes to interview me wearing jeans and a polo shirt.
Very shortly into the suspiciously informal interview, the guy says to me "look the job is yours, I can get you a uniform and you can start whenever suits." At this point I'm like what do you mean uniform and he points out the waiters and waitresses walking about in pinstripe shirts with huge long aprons. I asked what he meant I was asked to come here because of my managerial experience, etc. Guy replies yes potentially in the near future but you'd have to start out on the floor first.
I thanked him and went home. Told my boss about it and he gave me a raise. When I left that job around a year later, he put an extra £250 cash in with my wages and threw a leaving party in the café for me. Told me to invite all my friends and family and it was a free bar all day and night. Best boss ever. So glad to have worked for him. GrumpyBake
Out before it's too late...Giphy
I applied for the job because someone told me the manager was awesome, during the interview she mentioned that moving to the south was hard on her husband's health (humid air and bad lungs) and that they really missed home.
I had a feeling I'd be getting a new boss as soon as I started, and that's almost always a bad thing. I was right, she left 3 months later, and I heard the new boss was heinous. Spikito1
Frankly my Dear....
The guy interviewing me kept calling me Frank and he wouldn't stop. -brightlights-
If you didn't say "well, to be frank, I don't want this job anymore!" before you left, frankly, you missed out.legitimatelynonrobot
Interviewed for a faculty position at a prestigious university on the east coast and was supposed to interview with the Department Chair. I had to wait outside his office because my interview was delayed by 15 minutes while he ripped apart this other professor over some billing issues. When I finally walked in, he asked who I was and then why I wanted a job in his department. I should have stood up and walked out at that point, but figured I'd be polite and finish up the afternoon. Went out that night and had a nice dinner and got drunk by myself on their tab. I ultimately got the job offer but turned it down. contraphd
Was out of work, this was during a phone screen:
Me: "I'm sorry that salary is significantly less than what I was making previously."
Her: laughing "Well, it is more than you are making now, so..." FakeNewsfortheWin
Applied to a bartending position at a new club, the guy's second club.
Strike one: when he said it was an unpaid position, just whatever tips were made.
Strike two: he told me that the bartenders at his other club had done the dance from coyote ugly to earn the bar more money. He asked me what lengths I was willing to go to to drive sales.
A third strike was unnecessary. LaSwanduh
Goes Both Ways!
Just happened yesterday.
"We want someone who can be committed to this job for a year or longer. It is part-time and you will get hours as we have demand. You can eventually get full time. We just had someone who has been here for three years become full time."
WTF? You want me to commit to you but you will not commit to me? I was also told they are in dire need to fill this position. I should be receiving an offer today. Christiphis
All went well until the male interviewer turned around and asked Me- "kinda hoping kids aren't on the cards for you, I'm sick of you girls pulling maternity crap!" PotatoPixie90210
Pack my tools....
In welding jobs, you do a job interview, then take a welding skills test. I was taking the test and current employees came up periodically, introduced themselves to me talked to me a little. They all said pretty much the same thing. It's a s**t show in there. I was skeptical at first but I witnessed a father and son get into a super heated argument during my test. I packed up my tools and thanked the owner for the opportunity, and explained why I was declining the job and left.LasagnaFarts92
A Strong Woman Wins!
I went to an interview for a machinist position. In a machine shop. I am a journeyman machinist. The guy didn't expect a lady machinist as someone else had called me to come and interview. He asked if I'd like to sell dietary supplements with his wife instead. Wtf? Ummm noooooo. Reddit
Panera for the Win!Giphy
First job interview out of college and it was for an account manager job that clearly said it was an office job where you make some cold calls, keep customer happy, etc. Show up in a suit and tie and as I'm sitting in the lobby another guy shows up interviewing for the job as well. The lady then decided to take us to Panera and interviews both of us at the same time. She then starts going on about the job saying it's best to wear shorts and comfortable shoes since we will be going door to door 6 days a week, 8am-8pm trying to get people to switch their gas and electric provider.
After she said that I kind of tuned out and stopped caring what she said. As soon as we got back to the office parking lot she wanted us to come in and explain how after all this work we can end up being district managers making 80k and all this other bull crap. I instead said no thank you, went to my car and drove off depressed that I fell for that scam. MrHimp1990
You Better WERK!
It was doing a corporate, behind-the-scenes kind of role for a shoe company. I wore their shoes (I had some in the back of my closet) and a corporate looking simple black black dress and black jacket. This is important to note for later - I didn't look offensive, I looked respectable for the role I was applying to, and the outfit showed their shoes.
So I get into my interview, it's with a brother and a sister who control the brand since their granddad passed it down to them. We go through the normal questions, I pull up some numbers and campaigns they've run and discuss it with them as well as a vision for their future.
Then out of nowhere, the brother says, "but you're not a FASHIONISTA!" He practically spits out the last word. I'm really taken aback, because I don't need to be in the role I applied for. "You don't have a fashion blog, how can you understand fashion?" and then he goes on a mini rant about how can I possibly understand their brand.
I knew it had tanked at this point, and it wasn't an industry I normally work in so I took a risk and decided to burn future bridges. I took one of my pumps off and waved it in there. "What is this thing?!" I said dramatically. "Does it belong on my feet? I don't understand, is it feet clothes?"
His sister tried deescalating the situation at that point but it was done.
I have never, ever done anything like that. Lots of other interviews have passed me where we both knew it wasn't the right fit but we've always gone through the motions. I checked in a few months later. They promoted one of their shoe designers to the role. The brand is not doing well. AOLchatparty1999
Not Three Pennies More....
Graduated college with a teaching degree and a bunch of video production experience (shot college events, cut them into presentations and posterity videos, ran the college television station, etc.).
Interviewed with my state teachers union association. They posted an ad in the paper looking for someone to cover their events; drive to the capital, film the event, interview attendees, bring the footage back, cut it into three different videos: one for internal use, one for TV and one for the website. Also write articles for the website about said event. 3-5 days a week job, 7 hours a day, most weekends.
Oh, and the capital is at least an hour and a half drive from here.This interview goes on for an hour. Finally it's question time. I asked if there would be benefits. She laughed. I asked about salary. She stifles a laugh. Then she says, "We were thinking three hundred."
That number rolls around my head. There's no way she said three hundred.
That triggered the laugh.
"No! No, maybe three hundred a month?"
Will you cover expenses? Driving, hotels, editing equipment, filming equipment?
"We figured you'd bring that stuff from home."
I stood up, looked her dead in the face and said, "You have wasted an hour of my time."
I walked out to the sounds of her hemming and hawing about maybe bumping it up to three-fifty. ComicSal
18 & Up?Giphy
When a few years ago, the interviewer asked repeatedly when exactly I was going to turn 18. Really sealed the deal when 20 minutes after I left he called again, just to confirm, exactly when I would turn 18. budapestgirl
Went in for what I thought was a low level IT job with some on the job training. Turned out to be an overpriced A+ Certification Course that essentially gave you a one week paid internship at the end so they could justify calling it a "Job" and advertise on job sites. DONT_PM_ME_BREASTS
Now I grew up in a small town in nowhere Montana, so I was prepared for the reality. The job I was applying for was in an extremely isolated area I had never been to before. The interviewer told me straight up it would take years to be accepted into the town. He also asked about what church we would be interested in seeing on the tour. That was when reality set in about what I was stepping into. The job itself was great, but I couldn't put my family into that situation. DarrenEdwards
Not me, but a friend.
I guess this won't translate well for many people, so the background is: We live in a country where you are not allowed to ask about family planning during a hiring process, as this is considered discriminatory. Family planning is not supposed to be taken into account when hiring (the same way as you cannot chose to hire someone based on religion, sexuality etc.)
My friend was asked if she was planning on having a baby. Even though she needed a job she didn't want to work for them after that. (Ironically this was an auditing firm which exists to ensure that other companies follow legislation, yet they failed to do so themselves in the hiring process.) lolitrusa
I mentored a student during his degree as part of an Alumni program. This fellow is destined for great things, off-the-chart smart, and keen to immerse in his industry. He tells me about an interview he went to with a large, well known pharmaceutical firm to get more lab experience - he ended up being accepted to Cambridge for his PhD - and he was left in a room on his own for over an hour (there was a short questionnaire he'd completed fairly quickly) and no one came to get him. Apparently, they forgot he was there. Needless to say that he declined their generous offer to join their team. geekpeeps
I had a family owned chiropractic business interview me. And while they're having me small talk about myself I mentioned my daughter. And they asked about her dad and I implied I was a single mother and their response was "yeah, so we're a heavily Christian based organization so we will be looking elsewhere." I was so taken aback I just left and didn't realize it was illegal until after when I called my friend who hires people for a living! A**holes. I wouldn't have wanted to work for them anyway. I had to agree to morning prayer circles and crap. It was so weird. pschlick
It's A Sign!Giphy
They had me speak with two people separately and they both asked me what my horoscope sign is and then they said that if they wanted to move forward with me they would invite me to a dinner to see how I fared.
I'm sorry, but, an employer who is going to care about the stereotypes of what your horoscope signs are is bullcrap.cookofthesea
I had an interview a couple of days ago, at a smallish local bank - 12 branches, they do about 1.5b in business a year, so it's a legit company. I had a feeling I might be a little overqualified but applied anyway, and part of the application was a salary requirement. I got an email asking for my availability to come in for an interview, and replied with my availability, but suggested a quick phone interview first to make sure we're on the same page and not waste anyone's time since I'm already employed.
They didn't want to bother with that and we scheduled a time. I met with the director of the department I'd be working in, and the interview went very well. Then I sat down with the director of HR, and that interview went very well as well, until she mentioned the salary requirements I'd put in the application and asked if it was "some pie in the sky number," which I'm pretty sure I actually laughed at, and informed her that was the number at which I would start thinking about leaving my current job. Lady, did you not look at my resume before you asked that question? I don't expect a follow up with them.
Don't ask for a salary requirement in an application if you're not going to pay any attention to it when you bring people in for an interview. MonkeySherm
Y'all a Hot Mess!
I was interviewing for a teaching job. They did the interview in a closet room next to the gym where kids were screaming/playing basketball outside. It was so distracting. The principal came in and out of the room about 5 times and would jump into the conversation without any context. They asked me redundant questions and forgot which position I was being interviewed for. They also wrote and underlined specific answers that I gave that were obviously not what they wanted to hear. The entire thing was so disorganized and if I hadn't needed a job I would have walked out.little_cranberry5
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Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.
So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?
Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?
There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.
I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.
Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a DifferenceBlockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy
"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...toilet paper help GIFGiphy
"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spinfidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy
"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy
"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.
Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.
What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?
Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!
People told us all about their own feelings after Redditor MoneySquare5734 asked the online community:
"People of Reddit, what weird sympathies do you have towards inanimate objects?"
"Computers when someone's throwing a fit or tantrum over something like a game lag, buffering or general software issues. Like dude, get angry at the real cause not the hardware thats essentially just the messenger."
We really mistreat our hardware sometimes, don't we? Going to apologize to my computer now.
"I think we're okay now..."
"I once slapped my iPad when it was being slow, then instinctively hugged it and apologised afterwards. I think we’re okay now but the level of trust definitely isn’t what it used to be."
Serves you right! You have a lot to make up for!
"I have way too much emotion..."
"I have way too much emotion invested in my Roomba. Especially as I only have one charging station, so when it's running in my living room/hallway, it can never get back to base as there's a step in the way."
"Usually feel guilty when I come home and find it stuck in some corner, knowing that it literally ran until exhaustion trying to find its home."
I do not have a Roomba but my friend has one and I think he has the opposite reaction. I think he mistreats his!
"All my dollar bills..."
"All my dollar bills need to face up in my wallet, otherwise I get the feeling those Georges and Lincolns are uncomfortable."
I think I do this too. I did not ask to be attacked like this.
"If I see..."
"If I see a really ugly plush toy at a thrift store, I feel compelled to buy it because I feel like it will just get thrown away. So now I have quite a few ugly plushies. I love them."
Aww, they now have a home with you and they must be so happy!
"I guess in general..."
"Abandoned toys. I guess in general I just feel so bad for any inanimate object that is no longer serving its purpose."
How many toys end up in the dump each year, I wonder? And how many of them are plotting their revenge as we speak?
"So I transferred everything..."
"I got a new cellphone not too long ago. So I transfered everything to my new phone but I didn't turn off the old phone afterward."
"This happened late on a Sunday and the next morning my old phone still rang to wake me up and I was somewhat sad that it still thought it was my current phone and that it still had the duty to wake me in the morning."
The feelings this stirred up... I did not know it was possible to feel this way!
"I am very appreciative..."
"Sometimes I give my car a pat on the dashboard and say thank you. It has carried me so many thousands of miles and i am safe. I am very appreciative of its hard work."
Aww. I don't have a car, but I get this! And your car appreciates YOU!
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid I spent a whole afternoon feeding pebbles to a small drain outside my house because I thought it was hungry."
Okay, this is cute – and totally something a little kid would do!
"There's a thing I call..."
"There’s a thing I call 'mechanical empathy.' If you emotionally attach to your bike or car you’ll be kinder and more gentle to it."
"Some people are really rough on cars and other machinery, it’s painful to drive with them."
I was in a car recently with a driver who got a bad case of road rage and just slammed her hands on the dashboard whenever she was upset. That poor car!
Who knew we could feel so attached to the inanimate objects around us? Humans are fascinating creatures. We're capable of a lot of love and empathy, even for the smallest things.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
Cut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
Not The Cool Old Guy
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
Since We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
Why Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
Real talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
This is my mother.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
BUT I DO!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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