The LGBTQ+ Community Shares Their Worst 'I'm Not A Homophobe But...' Experience
No 'but.'
Seriously. Just don't say it. "I'm not a homphobe-" and stop. There doesn't, and shouldn't, be anything after those words. Anyone who keep talking is no ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. These stories are prime example of how.
Reddit user, u/ithriveintoxicity, wanted to hear about:
LGBT+ members of Reddit, What is your worst "I'm not a homophobe but" story?
Toss The Dad Out. Get A New Dad.
Coworker said "I have nothing against gay people but the worst thing that could happen to me is if my son came out as gay".
There are so many terrible things that could happen to your child, but you're worried about him being gay? I honestly feel sad for this child.
Gotta Advance That Plot Somehow
This definitely could be worse, but it's still incredibly annoying. When someone says "I think it's fine that shows have gay characters, but I hate it when they have it for no reason." Ah yes, because we all know that the universe made me a lesbian simply for character development.
Going To Make Those Neighborhood BBQs Really Awkward
Had a conversation with some ex-neighbours (straight couple, nice people) who both studied to become teachers, we were all the same age, around 24 back then. We often met for drinks and it was fun, at some point I mentioned something that gave away I was gay (something like "I texted with a guy" or something) and I actually assumed they knew, but the girl asked "oh you're gay?" and she didn't seem shocked just curious.
And it wasn't a big deal and we kept talking and they seemed very cool and suddenly she asked "but when did you decide to become gay?" and I thought she was joking. But she was dead serious. I tried to explain that that's not really a thing but she insisted that it's a choice and reversible. I was kinda in shock and we stopped hanging out then. Was weird.
Asked That Question In Front Of Everyone? Yeesh...
During orientation week at university we had a whole talk on being accepting of the LGBT+ community. Someone put up their hand and said that they weren't homophobic but confidently believed that God would never put someone in the wrong body and argued that transgender people are something discussed but aren't in fact present in every day society.
The lady holding the talk calmly said, "Well I was born with a penis and would you have known unless I told you? Am I some mystical being? Do I appear not well adapted to society?"
You could see this man with his hardcore outdated, conservative mentality had quite a shock to the system.
How Do You Say Something Like This With Your Kids Around?
When there were last presidential elections in Finland we had a gay candidate. My mother once said "I'm not a homophobe but I will move to Sweden if (the gay canditate) gets elected. I just can't live in a country where the first lady would be a man"
(fun facts both me and my other brothers is gay)
Eye Opening, Indeed.
My (ex)best friend and I were watching some video and there was this really effeminate guy in it.
He says to me, "God, don't you just wanna punch that guy in the face?"
So I say, "Why?"
He says, "Because he's so f-cking gay."
I say, "Dan, did you forget that I'm gay?"
He says, "No, I don't care that you're gay. You're one of the good ones."
That was an eye opening day in several ways.
Homophobes Suck Big Time
My "psychology" teacher in high school (mostly she just showed us the movie Sibyll) was told that I was an out lesbian and said, totally seriously, "huh. I thought only ugly girls went lesbian." She said this to my high school English teacher who was the only out gay faculty member at the time. He told me later and we had a laugh about how much homophobes suck
That's Not...No, That's Not How That Works.
In the dorm my freshman year of college, one of my floormates came out to a group of us as bi. Another woman, a self proclaimed "gold star" lesbian, told her she can't be bi because bi women don't exist. When asked to explain, she said, "Bi women are just s*uts who haven't found the right d-ck to satisfy them." And then later defended herself to the RA by saying she can't be homophobic since she's a lesbian... yeaaah.
Toss The Mom Out. Get A New Mom.
My mother told me "I accept you and all, but sin is sin. So, you being gay is the same as you murdering people and I just can't associate with that."
Ok. Thanks mom lol.
You Settled In? Strap In.
I got a "haha it's ok if you're gay as long as you don't hit on me like I'm not homophobic it's just weird" from my coworker where the girl got convinced I was in love with her and started being really annoying about it and was gossiping about it behind my back to our coworkers about how obvious I was about being in love with her and how I stared at her all the time and was being creepy.
This was total bullsh-t, I barely paid attention to her in general, especially after the whole "don't hit on me" thing. Our coworkers would tell her she was being an a-- and I wasn't into her, and one eventually told me what she'd been saying, and so I started scheduling my shifts so I wouldn't have to work with her.
She changed the narrative so that it was a "oh now she's obviously heartbroken that I don't feel the same way and is avoiding me" and one day when I was working a shift with her (I had picked up a shift for another coworker so they could go to a friend's birthday party) before we opened, I overheard her telling the girl at take out that she wasn't looking forward to having to work with me and get ogled.
I finally snapped and told her in front of half the staff to cut it out, because I wasn't and had never been into her. I mentioned she wasn't my type anyways and thought that was the end of it, but she accused me of lying and said I was obsessed with her, so I told her if anyone was obsessed, it was her because I got a text from a coworker nearly daily telling me what she'd said about me.
She later tried telling my manager that I was discriminating against her for being heterosexual. It was a mess.
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Europeans Break Down Which Things Americans Aren't Ready To Hear Yet
"Reddit user Mamutu7 asked: 'Europeans, what is something us Americans aren’t ready to hear?'"
Even though the United States of America is largely viewed as the best country in the world to live in, many Americans dream of living abroad.
Particularly in Europe.
From their eyes, there are several things about one's way of life that simply seem unquestionably better in Europe, including health insurance, education, and food.
Of course, many of these things are just in their minds and aren't actually true, and they have to have the news broken to them rather gently.
Sometimes, however, the things they've grown to accept about Europe aren't worse than they imagined, but infinitely better.
"Europeans, what is something us Americans aren’t ready to hear?"
In Case You Didn't Know Just How Big "Big Pharma" Actually Was...
"EpiPens cost $69 in the UK compared to the US $600."
"And yes the Pharm companies are making a profit."- DevDudeZX81
Phonetics Ain't Gonna Help You With This One...
"Worcestershire."- TantrumZentrum
"Wash your sister sauce."- dbl1nk22
'I was making dinner at one point and asked my wife to get me the sibling cleaning sauce - once it clicked, she was hysterical laughing."- belsonc
And No, That Doesn't Stand For "Part Time Only"...
"27 days of PTO is absolutely normal."- Whole-Bank9820
Out Of Office Vacation GIF by StickerGiantGiphyAnyone From The UK Can Make That Clear...
"Europe and the European Union are not the same thing."- BradyvonAshe
Yes, They're Actually Efficient...
"Y’all need some trains."- CabbageMasher
Ironically, Church And State Are ACTUALLY Separated...
"Whats the deal with mega churches?"
"Why do you send them that much money?"- Jandolino
On My Way Church GIF by EMPIREGiphyBipartisanship? The Very Thought!
"Middle grounds exist."
"It doesn’t always have to be pro this anti that."- MySocksAreLost
"It's okay not to have an opinion about everything."- AlwaysCurious93
All Jobs Have Value
"Tipping is stupid."
"Just pay your staff a proper living wage!"- Coin-op77
"Tipping culture is placing the working class against the working class."
"And you lot are falling for it instead of striking."- Comander1SUV
"You should work to live not the opposite."- Realistic_Abrocoma61·
GiphyAt The Very Least, Not In Such Large Quantities
"Sugar does not belong in everything, esp."
"Not bread."- WrestlingWoman
Merely 2 out of 44
"Europe is more than England and Paris."- SloRules
Health And Education Are A Right, Not A Privilege
"It's neither normal nor okay to have to go bankrupt just to go to school or going to the hospital."- Roselily808
student loans burn GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphy...Um, Does Anyone Actually Need This?...
"You do not need a 5000-pound truck to haul your laptop and cellphone to the office."- It_is_Fries_No_Patat
Frustratingly, many Americans who will be told these facts by Europeans will look for anything and everything to argue about them.
As the most significant thing most Europeans aren't ready to hear, or at least don't want to hear, about Americans?
Most will look for literally anything to fight about, rather than actually taking a little time to enjoy the view...
Ahh... life before the 90's.
The talents and skills lost.
There were ticket takers at the cinema.
When buying concert tickets, there was a human you stood in line to meet at 10AM on a Saturday morning.
You had to purchase tokens, not Metrocards in NYC to ride transit.
So much change.
Who can keep up?
Who will remember?
Redditor wanted to hear about life in the recent past, so they asked:
"People born before 1990, what trivial skill do you possess that no one uses anymore?"
I had no skills in the '80s.
I was too young.
So tell me about history.
R We There Yet?
"I can re-fold a map correctly."
JungleZac
"I came here to say Reading a Map but yes, also how to refold it! I routinely amazed coworkers by remembering how to get to lunch spots without GPS after just one visit."
raulduke1971
"Yes. Yes. YES!! And how hard could it be?... if anyone bothered to notice or think or remember how it opened in the first place."
Far-Experience5137
I Remember
"Remembering phone numbers."
GreatMillionDog
"I remember the numbers for every house I lived in growing up, the phone numbers of the houses of my best friends from 7th grade and before, my grandma, and my first cell phone number. I've been married nearly five years and have no idea what my wife's phone number is."
AllModsEatSh*t
Tick Tock
"Being on time because you can't call and reschedule."
Sindertone
"I feel like you just always had an idea that plans could fall through, and were a little more excited when they didn't fall through."
"This is why there used to be more bars in restaurants, so you can wait for the rest of your party and have a drink or two, and I guess if they don't show your order there and enjoy a meal anyway or go to plan B. People also used to just meet at someone's and go from there, more so than they seem to now."
thatissomeBS
Classics
Vintage Read GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy"Using the Dewey decimal at the library."
FunStorm6487
"Still a relevant skill. If you search for a book, you're given a call number and you need to track it down."
heck-ward
Dewey who?
I have never fully understood any of it.
That's me though.
Developments
Looking Good Red Room GIF by BounceGiphy"I can develop and process photographic film and enlarge prints in a dark room."
Glade_Runner
"I took a class in high school that did this. Was fun!"
sjk8990
The Master
"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh*t or an ad."
Gankstajam
"I was a 'videotaping from TV' master! My anticipation of the end of commercial breaks was amazing, especially since you had to start the recording just a moment prior to having a cue that the show was coming back.
Of course, I was always screwed by those random late-night News commercials and the random extra-long pauses"
Maliluma
Hold On
"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them."
Regular_Sample_5197
"Before cordless phones got really cheap, I walked around the house with a super long phone cord. My parents got sick of tripping over it, so they saved up and got me a cordless phone for Christmas."
"That phone lasted for so many years. They got it when I was a freshman in high school and it was still going strong when I graduated from college. I don’t know when or if it stopped working, but my parents switched to a phone with more features."
ZoraksGirlfriend
Glitches
"I outright destroyed Super Mario Brothers in almost no time flat very recently on Nintendo Switch after not having played it for probably 30 years. I did it totally from memory on just the second run-through. I even hit the multiple 1-up glitch on World 3-1. My kids thought I was a god (for just a few minutes)."
all4whatnot
"I grew up playing on the Super Nintendo. My son is old enough to play. The look on his face when I bomb through a level is priceless. Mama’s still got it, kid. He’s smart though. Kicks my a** in Mortal Kombat."
exWiFi69
SCORE!!
Sport Lol GIF by TikTok FranceGiphy"I can keep score in bowling."
sodangshedongerI
"took bowling as phy Ed in college. In the final exam we were given 10 lines of scoring and we had to score each line and add it up. 8 out of 10 was an A."
Qnofputrescence1213
Bowling is an art.
And keeping score is a gift... that I have never unwrapped.
All of us, if we really give ourselves time to think about it, know some pretty interesting things.
But while some things we know could be reasonable conversation starters, some of us know some things that are just plain weird.
Redditor Ok_Guidance_1916 asked:
"What is the weirdest fact you know?"
Bees: Unexpectedly Playful
"Bees like to play. Scientists put bees in a box thing under stress-free conditions with a few wooden round balls scattered about to see what would happen."
"There are videos of this experiment, and the bees just climb all over these wooden spheres, rolling them around happily. It's the cutest thing."
"The videos are very easy to find, but here is one of my favorites. One bee in particular from this very experiment came back and played with a ball FORTY times in one day. It had the best time of its life."
- WideFox116
"Every single thing I learn about bees makes me like them more."
- PepperoniJedi
Frogs: With Eyes Bigger Than Their Stomachs
"Frogs swallow using their eyes."
"If you've ever seen a frog eat something, they close their eyes as they swallow. They're using their eyes and eye muscles to push food down their little throats."
- LtColShinySides
Space: Much Bigger than the Candy Bar
"If you looked at one star per second, it would take you over 3,000 years to look at all the stars in the Milky Way galaxy."
- meresymptom
"And there are 20 times the number of galaxies in the universe as there are stars in our Milky Way."
- KonaBrad
Roald Dahl: Famous Last Swears
"Roald Dahl's last words were, 'Ow, f**k!'"
""The best part of this one is the context. He had prepared some lovely and touching last words, which he did indeed successfully say to his family at the appropriate time: 'You know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much.'"
"Then, when he had apparently fallen unconscious, the nurse injected him with morphine to ease his passing. The still-alive Dahl stirred and uttered his actual last words: 'Ow, f**k!'"
- havron
Manatees and Hippos: Surprisingly Round
"Manatees aren't fat. They're round."
"Many mammals develop a layer of fat or blubber to preserve body heat. Manatees are tropical mammals and do not need a lot of body fat."
- MrHyde_Is_Awake
"Hippopotamus also only have around 2% body fat, which is lower than professional bodybuilders normally get for competition."
- iCameToLearnSomeCode
"...Which is why they are a lot faster than they seem, and can easily split you in half in one bite."
- MadxCarnage
"Yeah, don’t mess with professional bodybuilders."
- JesusIsMyZoloft
The Space-Time Continuum
"Rosa Parks could have seen Shrek in theaters."
- narwhalsonacid
Kidneys: Collect All Five!
"When you get a kidney transplant they leave the old ones in unless there’s a reason to remove them (cancer etc)
I currently have five. Two original, two failed transplants, one functioning transplant."
- toomuchisjustenough
"On this episode of 'Hoarders'...'"
"(Seriously, I hope you're doing well now.)"
- OhWhatsHisName
KFC: Committed to Their Recipe
"KFC follows 11 people on Twitter: the five former Spice Girls and six guys named Herb."
- jliol
"Please let this be true."
"EDIT: I just looked it up. It's true. That's golden."
- disastertwink
"...fried perfection with our amazing blend of 11 herbs and spices. Get two pieces with a side and a biscuit for just five dollars!"
- Dason37
Get that Natural Platypus Glow
"Platypus glow when you hit them with UV light."
- bregorthebard
"That seems a bit extreme, couldn't you just shine the UV light on them instead?"
- IBeAPirate01
The Shock of the S.S. Daniel J. Morrell
"In recent times, more people have become aware of the story of the S.S. Daniel J. Morrell, a 600-foot-long Great Lakes ship that broke in half, and people on the front section thought they saw another ship coming to rescue them, but it was in fact the rear section approaching them under power."
"What people seldom learn is that, when the wreck pieces were discovered, the lifeboats of the rear section weren't deployed in the apparently three hours that it continued to steam along before sinking, thus leading analysts to conclude that the staff in the rear section had no idea the ship had even broken apart until it sank."
- CorsairVI
Jellyfish: The Biological Fountain of Youth
"In the animal kingdom, there is a type of jellyfish called the Immortal Jellyfish (scientifically known as Turritopsis Dohrnii)."
"What makes it fascinating is its ability to revert back to its earliest form after reaching adulthood. When facing environmental stress or old age, it can transform its cells, essentially returning to a polyp stage and then growing into a new adult jellyfish."
"This process can theoretically repeat indefinitely, hence the name 'Immortal Jellyfish.' While it's not truly immortal in the sense of living forever, it has an exceptional regenerative capability that allows it to bypass the typical life cycle limitations of other organisms."
- side-hustler
"It’s worth noting that it IS biologically immortal; it just can’t ever achieve that because they are food for other animals."
"Also, they’re able to age backward through transdifferentiation, in which adult cells revert back into stem cells so that they can become juvenile cells."
"If we can understand how they do that, it would likely help cure a bunch of different cancers."
- Zane_628
Forest Mice: Just Wanna Have Fun
"If you place hamster wheels in the forest, mice will run on them for fun."
- Eniptsu
"That's actually pretty wholesome and a fun fact."
- taddymason_76
A Rowing Metaphor: Looking to the Past
"In most languages, people think of the future as 'in front' of them and the past as 'behind' them. So we think of ourselves as 'moving forward' in time. It's such an ingrained metaphor that we don't even think about it."
"But there are a couple of outliers: languages where the past is 'in front' and the future is 'behind.'"
"In at least one of these languages, someone explained that the past is in front because you can see it. You know what was in your past, but the future is a mystery you can't see, just like you can't see what's behind you."
- picked-papaya
"Like rowing a boat, we enter the future backwards. All we see are scenes of the past, and one cannot see the views of tomorrow."
- ddyourpleasure
The Earliest Book and Late to Rise
"I'll give two:"
"The Tale of Genji, usually considered the be the world's first novel (not to be confused with Don Quixote, the first modern novel) is over 1000 years old."
"China is all under one time-zone officially; Beijing Time, to be specific, which means that all the way in the west of the country, the sun rises around 10 AM."
- TricellCEO
The Kale Doesn't Fall Far From the Broccoli
"Broccoli, cauliflower, kale, cabbage, and Brussel Sprouts are all the same plant cultivated for different characteristics."
- thewilyone
"That's cool and strange, yet they taste so different."
- CelifrogTwo
It's always fascinating to learn new things, but it's especially cool when they are unexpected things.
From tumbling bees to elongated time zones, there's always a new piece of information to pick up.
Choosing baby names is one of those tasks that's a weirdly hot-button subject for some people who believe their opinion should always be taken into consideration, even when it comes to someone else's family.
But sometimes, listening to a third party's opinion would not be the worst thing.
Redditor Corollo_Bro_91 asked:
"What is the dumbest name you've ever heard someone give their child?"
A Lesson in Roman Numerals
"KVIIITLYN. As in, 'Kaitlyn.'"
- today0012
"That’s the most asi-IX (asinine) name I’ve ever heard."
- UnderwhelmingAF
"This joke will never be IVgotX (forgotten)."
- SillyFlyGuy
"I hVIII (hate) you both for making me laugh this hard."
- Ok_Professional8024
When They Couldn't Pick One Condiment
"Dijonaise."
- BamboozleMeToHeck
"That'll go great on my ham sandwich."
- SimpleVegetable5715
Didn't See That Coming
"I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names."
"The third kid (George) was born after Blessed started school, so I bet they had a change of heart on the naming thing as soon as Blessed started getting relentlessly bullied."
- Hot_Frosting_559
"Now they're like, 'These are my kids, Blessed, Saved, and George,' lol (laughing out loud)."
- darthmoo
Star Wars Fans
"I knew a kid named Chewbacca back in grade school. It was not a nickname. It was actually Chewbacca."
- esqualatch12
"Of course that wasn't his nickname. His nickname would be Chewie."
- Olorin_in_the_West
Committed to Italian Food
"I work as a pizza driver, and I have a regular named LaSonya."
"It's pronounced 'Lasagna.'"
- tiffanyistaken
The Best Player at Game Night
"'Trivia' for a girl. Nice girl. Terrible name."
- Euphoric-Blueberry97
Sounds Fishy
"Jessa Duggar named her first kid Spurgeon (sic)."
"I put the 'sic' to clarify I wasn't spelling it wrong."
"It's supposed to be Spurgeon, but to be honest, my brain keeps going to the fish (Sturgeon) but spelled wrong."
- the_lusankya
These Kids Were Only Available in Sets
"I rode the bus in high school with boy/girl twins named Clark and Candy Barr."
"On the same bus were four sisters: Mary Ann, Mary Catherine, Mary Patricia, and Mary Louise."
- wheelie423
Unique Spellings
"I met a girl named Jules but it was spelled 'Jhewelez.'"
"And before anyone gets on my a** about the name potentially being another language, it wasn’t. She was white American and it was pronounced like Jules or Jewels."
- hopefullyimnotsick
"'Jhewelez' reads like Jack Black saying 'jewels' in a way only he can."
- Big_Rig_Jig
"More like Jim Carry in 'Pet Detective.'"
- futurespacecadet
Chronically Mispronounced
"A student’s mom showed up mad that her child’s name was repeatedly mispronounced. Who knew 'Talore' was pronounced 'Taylor'?"
- GeeWhiskers
"This reminds me of the girl I went to school with whose name was Airwrecka (like... Erika)."
- TexanAmericanMexican
It's a Bop; It's a Vibe
"Beezow-Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop."
"Had his name changed to it because he thought it was funny to hear the cops say it."
"I know it’s not a birth name, but I think it belongs here."
- Dragonfire400
"Imagine changing it for that reason because you know you're going to have multiple opportunities for cops to say your name."
- OpeScuseMe74
Interesting Origins
"Wayne Train."
"If you're out there Wayne, I think of you often."
- royonquadra
"I knew a Wayne Deer … 'Santa’s in his sleigh with eight tiny Wayne Deer.'"
- sanibelle98
"Another classic! Is it cruel parenting or just being oblivious to schoolyard teasing?"
- royonquadra
"Wayne train is an oldish meme in Germany. It comes from the term 'Wen interessiert's?' ('Who cares?')."
"'Wen' sounds like Wayne, so Wayne became a meme guy who always cares, but you could also just reply, 'Wayne' when somebody says something irrelevant."
"That then evolved into, 'All aboard the Wayne Train on its way to Mt. Whateverest!'"
- riceandvegetables
Oh, the Irony
"I knew two kids named Wizdom and Knowledge."
- AlanBill
A Complete Sentence
"My mom used to work in a daycare. One of the kids' was named Surprise Joyous Knight."
"Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous."
- Adventurous_Image793
"'O Holy' was already taken."
- CaptnsDaughter
"My sister works as an obstetrician in Switzerland. Before moving abroad, she did an internship here in Italy, where we were both born."
"A couple was undecided whether to name their son 'Domenico' or 'Antonio.'"
"In the end, they decided to call him 'Domenicantonio.'"
- harlenemachiavelli
"Could you imagine in elementary school, having to write that on all of your papers? Poor kid, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Glum-Temperature-111
"You'd learn your ABCs pretty fast!"
- admiralrico411
Coming up with baby names is one of those things that parents are incredibly excited to do as they prepare to become parents, and sometimes their decision is met with a lot of resistance.
In these cases, there was a pretty clear reason why.