Curious to hear examples of what some of those might be, Redditor Sarah_Trekkie asked:
"What are some of the craziest baby names you’ve personally been witness to?"
Pity these children with these unfortunate names.
The Three Hs
"Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids."
– fabook
It's Satisfying
"The manager at a shop near me is named Goodenough."
– Pagan-za
In Case You Missed It A Second Time
"Coworker grew up with a girl named Kelly Kelly Kelly."
– Jimbo---
Metal Head
"Jam Metallica for a baby girl."
– wordofmouthrevisited
S'No Joke
"Sno White, 9th grade classmate."
– cmac1425
Drugs and babies just shouldn't mix.
Pharma Baby
"I work in child welfare and it’s actually more common than you would think for someone to name their child after a drug or strand of drug they were using at the time. So with that information, MF Pitbull and Knucklehead were the two that I saw that were pretty bad. Another sad fact is when a child is immediately removed from a family (they have already been proven not to be fit parents) they’ll give them the name Baby Boy/Girl or Infant until they’re adopted."
"Edit: at the time = time of conception"
"Edit edit: 'they' as in the nursing staff, the birth parents often aren’t coherent enough or don’t care to give a name."
– spacecowboy203
Out With The Old In With The New
"I summer nannied for two kids, siblings who had been adopted by a wonderful woman who immediately changed their given names, which were Crystal and Rocky."
"Edited to add that both babies were born addicted to meth. Forgot that little nugget."
– checkitbec
It's A Choice
"Went to school with a guy named cedar and his last name was post. I always wonder what his parents were thinking."
– jellyschoomarm
It gets worse.
Going By A Gender
"Boy. True story."
– _mybloodyvalentine
What A Pair
"Noodles and papoose."
"I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. 'Noodles! Put papoose down!'"
– MrScribz
Fantasy Household
"Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl."
"Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with."
– ghastlyglittering
How Super
"I met a young man named Jor-El."
"Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth."
– CowboySpencer
Copy That?
"Xerox."
– hand-pic-appreciator
"Were they a clone?"
– jonsconspiracy
"Nah, just a carbon copy."
– iamevilcupcake
The Pressure Is On
"I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!"
– BatmansKhaleesi
Getting Royal
"King and his brother Prince."
– Shynerbock12
Raising Alarm
"My friend's sister, named her twins Danger and Fury."
– domestic_omnom
Naming Or Labeling
"These girls at my Korean church were named one and two in Korean. It wasn’t that bad since they went to school here but any time a Korean person heard it it was like wtf."
– Kimchiandfries
I would have to say one of the craziest names I've heard of was Otis Payne.
The names individually are actually pretty cool, but when you slap them together and say the full name, well, I can only imagine the amount of jokes this person had to endure.
He probably lost track of the number of times they saw someone doubling over in fake distress–clenching at a problematic part of their body–and saying his full name in jest.
We get it, we get it, "Oh this pain!"
Poor guy...
Reddit user Iron8te asked:
"What is the worst name you've ever heard?"
Jermajesty ... go on back and enjoy being a handsome, talented, well traveled young man living his best life. We're sorry to have dragged you into this.
Clearly your name is totally normal. At least compared to all this...
'Common' Name
"I once met a girl named Cliche 😭"
- Background_Tree_8468
"Did she get old quick?"
- Homelander44
"This reads like the start of a limerick"
- DrChonk
"I bet she wasn't like other girls."
- Plenty_Past2333
"I read this as Chicle and as a Hispanic I was like nooooo"
- multigrain-pancakes
Fatalism and Fate
"In elementary school there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."
- sourdoughbreadlover
"A**hole parents lmao"
- Chemical-Volume-6825
"I KNEW A FAMOUS TOO"
- AdditionalChart371
"So I literally just read a feature story about a man named Famous and his wife in my alumni magazine. If it’s the same guy, he turned out alright despite his sh*t name."
- kaytay3000
"I know a guy named Famous! He's definitely not living up to his name."
- Jasonrj
Trattoria Family
"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball"
- peppermintblues
"Son of Meatloaf?"
- TheGoober87
"Are you a vet?"
- AccidentalBastard
"This one made me genuinely lol"
- sarbot88
"Imagine yelling across a store 'AY MEATBALL' or 'Has anyone seen my kid? His name is meatball' Poor kid"
- LazyLittleBat
"You called?"
- MeatballsRegional
"When you wanted a dog, but you had a kid instead."
- AthenasApostle
adult swim GIF by HULUGiphyThe Original 'G'
"An 80+ year old lady called Gremlin"
- Jazzlike-Channel3465
"Never feed her after midnight."
- IAmNaaatBorat
"I want to be named gremlin so bad"
- EnoughIdeas
"Right? I wonder if my family would support me in my name change petition."
- ItsMummyTime
"The POWER that name has…"
- knightogourd
"What a G, I hope she lives +100 years old."
- HappyhourGremlin
"A name you grow out of, then eventually back into"
- theEFG15
Movie Flirting GIFGiphyWho Is Coming?
"'Messiahiscoming' is by far the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous."
"She was 12-14 years old and said nothing. Mother did all the talking."
- PointyWombat
"That's less of a name and more of a threat..."
- Iron8te
"Once upon a time this was a standard in come circles. Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer wasn't just a made up name in Good Omens to sound strange, there were people who really had names like that."
- PM_me_ur_navel_girl
"Did this kid live in 17th century massachussetts or?"
- emu_spy
"We had a Praisegod in my school."
- Younggatz99
"I read that name in Jar-Jar Binks voice"
- AsparagusFlex
That's An 'Eye' Sore
"Eye'n, pronounced Ian."
" 'To be different', per his mom."
"What the f*ck."
- JustMeerkats
"I genuinely hate that trend."
"Just because a name is different doesn't mean it's good. Or ever gonna be pronounced correctly. There's a reason no other kids are called that."
"Had this conversation with my mum when I came home and told her I changed my name, and she was surprised that I didn't want to keep the old sh*tty one that I had."
- Unknown_Captain
" 'Let’s be “different' by taking an incredibly common ass name and butchering the spelling.”
“ 'We’re so unique' they say as they chuckle to themselves proudly"
- multigrain-pancakes
"Are you Eye'n me up"
- GullibleDetective
Greg²
"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg which is not all that bad. The thing is, his last name was also Greg."
"TLDR- Greg Greg"
- Glide1505
"Met a guy named Marty Martin and asked if his first name was legally Martin. 'No, my birth certificate says Marty. Why does everybody ask me that?"'"
"You goddamn know why, Martin Martin."
- Nooooope
"This is weird in the US but I have met people not from the US who have the same first and last name."
- VulfSki
"How much imagination do you have to lack if you can't think of another name that isn't the surname."
"man, I just can't come up with any other names, I guess we'll just name our baby Greg Greg"
"Or they think it's funny?"
"Like, I truly want to know why people name their kids Greg Greg or Tommy Thompson, et"
- urbanhag
"I used to know a dude named Greg Gregory. His middle name was Allen, making his initials GAG."
- Hotdogmaniac6969
Like The Antibiotic
"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic."
"When questioned, the mom said 'I just thought it was pretty' "
- throwawaypanda15
"There was a chemistry teacher at my school who named her kids after elements. The one’s name was calcium…"
- Kyubey4Ever
"It takes a special kind of thoughtless stupidity to pull this one"
- rosepotion
"Siblings Cephalexin and Amoxicillin weren’t available for comment…"
- eljefecamacho
"Clinda for short"
- Thickfries69
"I hope it’s shortend to Linda or Clyde"
- Sterwood
That's... Ummm...
"Michael Kidiporn. Was a customers name. Was on the precall went to say 'Mr Ki-…sorry I’ll just butcher your name'."
"He said 'No it’s Kidiporn' "
"Sorry bro but a name change would be first on my list of things to do, Now."
- lovelynutz
"This would be a case for taking the wife’s last name. Sorry, the Kidiporn line ends here"
- lovelynutz
"That's terrible. Like, Mel Brooks couldn't come up with that."
"And he came up with 'Latrine.... Yeah, used to be Sh*thouse'."
- oniwolf382
"Going on the good-faith assumption this not trolling. Must be a Thai name. 'Porn' means blessed in Thai."
- dee615
"Used to be a doctor in my area with that name (worked in sample processing for a bit) . I want to say it was Dr. Kittiporn but I can’t remember the spelling. But, yep, real name people have."
- rckrusekontrol
"Wow..."
- Iron8te
A Nascar Driver, Wrestler, Or Just Cool?
"I taught a kid who’s real name is Ricky Rock n’ Roll Smith"
- Hopeful__Historian
"That kid is either gonna be awesome or a total piece of shit. Either way he will definitely do a lot of drugs."
- igotbigballs
"Sounds like a 90's WWF wrestler name"
- TotallyNotClickbait2
"I already know what his parents are like..."
- Iron8te
"Well at the very least he has a normal first name to use."
- emu_spy
"You must be commenting on the wrong post. Try a reddit search for 'What's the most awesome f*cking name in the universe ever?'."
- belbsy
"Rockin Ricky?! Man I love that guy!"
- derKonigsten
rock n roll cat GIFGiphyCan I Just Call Him Rich?
"I had a customer named Dick Butts. I thought it was a joke, but one of the employees asked to see his driver's license and it was truly his name."
- Heftydog1
"Just introduce yourself as Richard at that point."
- Final_masker
"Haha how was Dick ever acceptable as a name?!"
- ungoogled
"There was a famous football player named Dick Butkis! He was an amazing player so no one mentioned his name as a joke!"
- Tracirainbow69
"Hey it’s me, your customer"
- PENIS_ANUS
"Met an elderly man with the name Booger"
- MrPuzzleMan
"A dear friend of mine who recently passed had the nickname Booger and honestly, nobody called him anything else. His dad called him that when he was little, and he was just Boog forever. I miss you, man. The world shines a little less without you in it."
- Lilredh4iredgrl
"There is a TV sports commentator named Booger Mcfarland. It's a nickname but that's what everyone on TV calls him and that's what the graphics say."
- mtwtfssmtwtfss
"It’s made 10x funnier by the fact he has a reputation for saying things that are pretty obvious so everyone’s like 'thanks booger'."
- Do__Math__Not__Meth
"Booger seems to have been a common nickname for an older generation. Fun fact: The Undertaker (from WWE) was almost given the name "Booger Red" as his wrestler name before he was given the Undertaker character."
- Hotdogmaniac6969
Hotdogs Would've Been Better
"My elementary school boyfriend in 3rd grade was named Matthew wiener the kids started calling me mrs wiener so I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore lol"
- UsedQuiet2862
"I know a family who's last name is Weiner. To be frank, they are all kind-of d*cks"
- zesty_itnl_spy99
"One of my friends married a 'Boner' right out of HS 😰"
- weareborgunicons
"I’d keep my own name!"
"There’s also a youtuber named Tucker Boner lol"
- UncouthCorvid
"I knew a Matthew Wiener. He was a director who travelled and directed plays at a bunch of different places"
- TurboMoofasa
"was he related to Gretchen? is so that is so Fetch!"
- glucoseintolerant
Staff Sergeant2
"In the military there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant. So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."
- Rickdaquickk
"Like Catch 22, never to be promoted again."
- ucat97
"When I was in the Air Force I had to do a work order for a Captain Ho. I hope she was eventually promoted to Major Ho.I have also seen other funny names from the Navy such as Stains, so their title was Seamen Stains."
- IThinkMyLegsAreBroke
"I went to boot camp with a 'Seaman Samples' 🤣 Always wondered what happened to him."
- BperrHawaii
Fight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphyGreat Start For A Rappers Name
"Xerox, poor kid will be bullied for the rest of their life"
- [Reddiut]
"Copy that."
- billybobjimmyjoe
"Honestly I doubt young kids even know what Xerox means. My 16 yo nephew thought Kodak was named after a rapper lmao. I think little Xerox will be fine. Unless this was like 10-15+ years ago."
- Whosyouranimedaddy
"Jammed up for the rest of his life."
- brds
"Spittin’ straight fax"
- BlueBoltDog
Happy Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyThese Dang Vices
"My sisters sister in law named her son Brewer literally because they are alcoholics."
- bijouby
"Oh dear. This is legitimately sad."
- mrsjettypants
"I know a boy named Blayze because his parents are dumb dumb potheads"
- irongoatmts66
"People need to save that type of shit for the family pet"
- trippymermaid
"My parents are alcoholics and they've named every dog we've ever had after alcohol. Growing up we had Boozer and Tipsy. When I found out what they meant, I was so embarrassed to tell my friends my dogs' names. Now they have Brandi. Little more classy but I still know."
"I'm glad I have a somewhat normal name and they didn't so the same to me"
- TAconfessions22
Sounds Made Up
"Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo"
- VincentKlortho
"That's the worst name I've ever heard"
- inabighat
"Hellllllo I'm Guy Incognito"
- groovy604
"If this wasn't one of the top answers I was going to officially declare myself way too old for reddit!"
- JPMoney81
"I am thoroughly disappointed this is not top comment."
- blindedbyhindsight
"Come back!!"
- JoeyJoeJoeJrShaba
homer simpson joey jo-jo shabadoo GIFGiphyExplosive Name.
"Cash dynamite, to the mom named exclamation"
- ogsandtoads
"Dude. That is objectively an awesome name. I wish my name was Cash Dynamite"
- afauce11
"that shts dope tf"
- SingleShake6745
"This is the funkiest, most 70s thing I've read today."
- Lehelito
"How are you not the coolest mf with the name cash dynamite, you should have a documentary about ur life if ur name is cash dynamite"
- couldbedumber96
"Guy named Ashley Hole who went by 'Ash'."
"I sht you not."
- PiffWiffler
"His guy has the biggest loophole when it comes to kahoot names"
- ismokejimmyneutron
"I'd probably pick that nickname as well out of spite."
- HeyWaitHUHWhat
"You know Ashley started as a male name right? Popular male name during ww2, exactly like Kelly."
- NoticeWhenUAreHappy
"It's not just that his name is Ashley. He goes by Ash Hole. Try saying it out loud."
- Banana42
You're up.
If you've got a name so bad that it looped it's way back around into awesomeness, let us know!
The people on this chain had some bad ideas about naming humans. Like, for real not good ideas. And medical staff already has a tough enough job by delivering babies. Clearly they also have to be sound voices of reason. Especially when people are in their most emotional state... post birth.
TINA!!!
the best tina GIF by London Theatre DirectGiphyMy boyfriend's grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn't allowed because "it wasn't a real name" and his grandmother had no other backup baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming "Tina", she named her daughter Tina because she couldn't think of anything else on the spot.
Poor Mo...
Boss's friend named their kid Monster Galileo [last name]. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name but guy, being a kid named 'monster' has to be rough in school.
Be Normal...
My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son "Collin" but wanted to give him a "unique" spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn't make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N.
They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmates mother explained this to them they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead. I don't think they'll ever live it down.
Listed
In France there used to be a list of names you had to choose from (mostly based on that day's name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.
Now it's a free choice.... but anyone can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one the judge finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder... PLUS the rejected name gets added to a "banned" list to streamline the rejection in the future.
Dirty...
Mud Caterpillar GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyNot a nurse, but as a med student a patient wanted to name her child Mudpiles. The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom changed her mind.
You would think people were drunk when the baby arrives. You really should wait until after you sign a birth certificate. For example, it feels this next group of people may have imbibed on a few shots and thought... "hey that name sounds like fun."
Midwife Down
I once had a student named Linoleum. Some midwife dropped the ball on that one. My brother wanted to name our soon to be younger brother Corn Peas and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad about asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that and passed on the name.
Hey Vi...
And here my mom was talked out of naming me Violet. "Sounds like an old lady" they said. I got one of the most common names of the 80's. When I went to college I lived in a hallway where there were literally 6 of us. My roommate had the same first name too.
I do like my name because it sounds good with my last name but I have only once met a Violet in 37 years and she's my friend's niece.
All the Dylans...
Not in the medical field, but a teacher. There are certain names that each teacher avoids because we've had a student (or seven) with that name who were difficult in one way or another.
One year, there were four Dylans in the same cohort and they were all hell on wheels. One of the teachers at that grade level had a baby with his wife that spring, and she named the kid Dylan. The rest of us were like, "didn't you vehemently veto that?"
He just shrugged and said it was important to her and he wasn't the superstitious type. Flash forward a few years, I saw a toddler tearing through the salad bar at the grocery store, spilling things, moving spoons from one container to another, reaching in with his hands... it was Dylan.
Oh Katrina
I had a coworker named Trina. When she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband had decided to name the baby Latrine. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers defecate into. She was horrified and changed it to Katrina. Two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.
Pegged
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphyI have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife. I was born missing a leg. I was given my first physical false leg in a year, but it was always obvious the leg wasn't there!
I know Hollywood has made it seem glamorous to choose off the wall names (I'm talking to you Gwyneth Paltrow) but Hollywood is crazy. So think long and hard before you saddle a new human with some ridiculous moniker. Remember... they have to go through life with it. You don't.