You guys ever stop and take a long look at your relationship and suddenly realize you REALLY need an eject button? Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us... aaand literally everybody in this article.
Personally, I once dated someone who habitually broke into my house to "surprise" me with gifts that I didn't want or like. Coming home to twelve dozen roses sounds romantic ... but it really hits a nerve when you have repeatedly explained that you don't like roses. That's especially true if that nerve is frayed because you have asked your partner repeatedly to not enter your home without you, you didn't give them a key, and you have no idea how they keep getting in.
It's hard to see something as romantic when it feels designed to remind you that your boundaries are meaningless, you're not safe in your own home, and your partner doesn't actually care what you like - only what they have decided you should like.
Reddit user x_Smokey asked:
(Serious) What was your "Oh shit I'm dating a crazy person" moment?
So many reddit users have experiences with abusive, narcissistic, and just plain strange partners ... and that's to say nothing of the person who totally stole a car but didn't seem to understand why that was wrong because they were just "borrowing" it - without permission.
Speaking of cars, those of you curious about how things ended with the Rose Bandit ... when I broke up with him his mother tried to guilt my parents into paying her a few hundred dollars to cover the cost of breaking off some arranged marriage he allegedly had. Also, he airbrushed my name across the front of his car - months after we split up.
Yeah. That was a doozie; so are all of these stories.
When Dad Gets Involved
Compared to the more hilarious things, mine is a little more serious and depressing. My first serious relationship was in college and at first she treated me well. After a while things turned emotionally abusive but me being naive and also easy to manipulate, I didn't see it. She turned me against a lot of my friends and family.
Side note but important: my dad has been through some terrible relationships in the past including my mom. He's usually a very quiet person and usually lets me figure out my mistakes on my own.
My real wake up moment was when I was on the phone having a fight with her, and she was literally berating me and my dad stomped into my room and shouted loud enough for her to hear "this is NOT what you deserve and she isn't worth it!"
I left her about a week later once I was able to get all my sh*t from her apartment. When my calm, collected father gets involved I know something isn't right. She ended up getting into another relationship like two months after I left, and looking back on everything, she probably had some seriously unresolved PTSD from her childhood. I hope she got the help she needs, but I sure hope she isn't abusing her current significant other.
Fake
He tried faking his suicide to get my attention. When I figured out he was leaving me on read after he was "turning off his phone to go overdose." (or whatever his method was, I can't be bothered to remember. I told him I knew he was faking and that he and I were over.
He tried to apologize a week later, but I didn't forgive him. I thanked him for his apology and told him I didn't accept it, then stopped talking to him. Now I'm dating the best guy I've ever met.
- aolearyy
Pat Pat
I realized it as I was sitting on the windowsill of the 2nd floor wondering if I would die if I hit the pavement.
Thankfully, I snapped back to reality and realized that I shouldn't sacrifice my happiness for a manipulative douche that forces me to work while he had no job, clean his house, and made me do humiliating things ... like dry him off after he takes a shower. He insisted I try him by saying "pat pat" and patting him with a towel. He seriously got pissed when I told him I wouldn't do it anymore and said it was a sign that I loved him and he would think I didn't love him anymore of I didn't do it.
I started planning my escape since my parents lived a 12 hr drive away. I told them to get me 4 months from the time I texted them because it would give me time to get out of there to a safe place and I would send the safe address to them when they were ready to leave and drive to me. I waited till he fell asleep 3 days before they would be there, threw all my stuff into trash bags and threw it off the back porch where a friend waited below with a van and I booked it. I shut my phone off for the next week and when I turned it on he asked where I was and I said far away from you.
Stitches And Shakespeare
She ran after me with a knife and broke through a window on a door, cutting herself as I was trying to get outside and away. It was because I was playing video games instead of listening to her, if I remember correctly. My dad kicked the knife away and we got her to the ER.
We were together for 6 depressing years. I was young and committed I guess. Moved in together for 4 of those and one day she randomly breaks up with me by writing a letter and leaving a copy of "A Midsummer Night Dream" and then completely ghosted me.
- Sinjhin
Dodging A Silver Bullet
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She legit thought she was a werewolf and broke up with me because Valentines Day was on a full moon, I didn't find out she thought she was a werewolf until after we broke up. My best friend knew the entire time but he "forgot."
Her friends also thought they were really a fairy. There were more in their group but I forget what they thought they were. Pretty sure I dodged one hell of a bullet
- Lynnatan
Hanging Out With Dad
We were in the very beginning of dating. We were still getting to know each other and we had opposing schedules so we could only speak by text. We would speak every day and we got along great.
I went to dinner with my dad one night and usually when my dad and I get together we talked A LOT which means I don't really look at my phone. About an hour into the diner I decided to check my phone to realize the person had texted me about 11 times asking me where I was, who I was with, why I wasn't answering him.
I simply texted that I was sorry, but I hadn't seen my father in a long time. He was furious that I wouldn't tell him that and he thought I had left him for someone else. Needless to say I broke it off immediately after. I mean we had only been talking for about 2 weeks.
Highlander
Dated a girl who was convinced that she was an immortal (Like the Highlander) and that she was a part of a secret society who "rode the lighting" and that she would show me her powers one day soon.
So...I figured out that it was time to peace out ASAP and man; did it get weird and clingy for like 2-3 weeks.
Definitely a yikes in retrospect lol
A Wild Two Weeks
When they tried to emotionally manipulate me into helping them indulge in their fantasies about urine and bestiality and then tried to convince me to run away with/marry him and let him get me pregnant.
All of this happened within two weeks of dating.
Hmmmmm
Was living in an east Asian country about 10 years ago
Used to hook up with this older woman from time to time. One time want back to her place and she said I could just live with her.
hmmm.
Then she said since I was handsome she wouldn't like me going out, so I can just get my stuff and stay with her forever. Hmmmmmmmmm.
Then she said, with full sincerity, that I could wear a little collar and just be like her pet.
HMMMMMMMMMM
Therapy
I was struggling with anxiety/depression when I started dating this guy. We ended up living together and staying together for a few years. I guess in hindsight I would say we got together when I was at a very lonely/rock bottom sort of place.
I would talk about wanting to try therapy and he would always tell me, "Therapy is stupid. You're just talking to some stranger about your life. You can just talk to me..." and other things of that nature. Therapy = bad. He should be enough to "fix" me.
I did end up getting much better without therapy after finding financial stability through a job I enjoyed going to. However, we would always fight. He was basically the worst part about my life but he was very emotionally manipulative.
My "A-ha" moment was when I was trying to break up with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He said he would work on himself, so I suggested couples therapy as a last resort. He then turned the tables on me and said... "Yeah... maybe you DO need therapy."
Not us. Me. It just creeped me out. I could never put a finger on why the thought of "he might kill me" would pop into my head during fights. But something about the way he had held onto this weakness of mine for years and then threw it in my face was so calculated and narcissistic... I sometimes wonder if he was a psychopath.
Pennies
We had gone out a few times and he was such a gentleman. He was really handsome and was always saying the right thing at the right time.
I did see him turn red a couple times over insignificant things, but I thought it was nerves. No biggie.
He kept a 32oz cup full of pennies in the cup holder of the car. I commented on it, he just laughed and said that it was his catch-all.
One night we went out for a little bit and a few small things happened...like he hit his elbow, the waitress knocked over a glass nearby, a car passed too close as we walked, he dropped the keys trying to open the car... etc. Eventually his mood got worse and worse til he was boiling and driving like a maniac.
Another driver made him mad, so my date quickly switched lanes to pass the car on the right. He then reached down and grabbed a handful of pennies and threw them at the other car.
We were going 65 on a bridge.
Saved By Cysts
As a bigger fella with not a lot of confidence, I never dated during my school years. When I finally started dating, my first relationship went fast. During 6 months, she moved in with me and my family, lost her job and tried to distance me from my family.
After my parents asked us to pitch in for car insurance, she lost it shit and started talking really badly about them. I snapped. I finally broke up with her that night and kicked her out of my house.
This is where I finally see the crazy part, strangers.
She texts me that she's pregnant and she's going to sue me for child support unless I bring her back to the house and reinstate our relationship. This would have been terrifying for my 19 year old self as a college student with no money. But then I remember something she told me early in our relationship: She has cysts in her ovaries that make it impossible for her to get pregnant.
Nice try.
Elite Child Militia
This wasn't a date but it was a friendship. Had a classmate that I got along with fairly well and I had his number so I could get notes and whatever. We started texting back and forth and he starts calling me. It started innocent but got really weird really quick. We both have issues with depression and he said he was in a rough spot. Okay, yeah been there so I tried giving him someone to listen to.
He started telling me about his time in this elite child militia that worked for the secret service. How he was dealing with ptsd from his trips to get biological weapons out of the middle east. He was an elite soldier apparently, taught in ninjustu and Krav Maga. He was a one man killing machine and his old captain was trying to get him back in the field.
He freaked me out, started telling me I was the only person that understood him and that he could rely on me. He was seconds away from confessing love. Keep in mind, he knew I was engaged. I got off the phone, deleted his number and never contacted him again.
Kittens
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At an outdoor restaurant having a nice lunch by the ocean. Only 2 tables in the place. My BF and I are sitting across from each other chatting. Over his shoulder behind him 2 kittens begin to romp and play in the grass couple yards away. We continue our conversation but my eyes are drawn to the kittens, not ignoring him at all, simply not making eye contact. All of a sudden he slams his glass on the table making everyone in the restaurant jump and says, "Should I just have the bus boy come over here so you can sit on his lap?"
Confused I asked what? He started yelling at me loudly about how I obviously couldn't take my eyes off the bus boy. I was shocked and embarrassed. I said "You mean the 60 year old guy bussing tables? Yeah call him over, I'd love to show him the 2 kittens behind you playing in the grass you jerk."
I got up and left. I had driven us both there; he walked home fuming. It only lasted a couple more weeks after that and that was all spent planning my escape.
Grazed
I dated a guy who lived about three hours away. We had visited each other's towns and as mature adults, this was an acceptable setup.
Until he showed up in the middle of the day on a Tuesday (he had a m-f 9-5) and demanded that I pack my stuff and come with him because society was getting ready to collapse. I had horses and dogs and he told me to leave them behind because when the food supply went they would just be eaten anyway.
He told me he had a bunker prepared with three years worth of food, supplies and ammunition.
I went into the other room and called the police to come and take his crazy *ss out of there. I ended up with a restraining order and I eventually moved because he wouldn't stop.
I wouldn't say I dodged a bullet; I was definitely grazed.
- Holaroo
Satisfaction
When they told me they imagined killing me. They wouldn't actually do it, but it brought them a sense of satisfaction. Not because I was driving them crazy, but because I was attractive to them.
Clearly
I dated a girl for a month. I had a daughter on the way from a previous relationship. She knew this and was cool with it. Then when I posted a pic of me holding my daughter on Facebook, she flipped saying she couldn't be with me cause "it's clear I love my daughter more than her."
I mean... she was right.
One Direction
I dated this guy who clearly seemed insecure mostly of his looks after this situation. So, I was obsessed with One Direction at the time, in their fetus phase. I had posters all over my walls, even on the ceiling, a few in the locker, some on my notebooks, eh you get the point.
Anyways, we were FaceTiming one night and he saw all the posters and started just going OFF about how they're "so much better looking than him", and "I love them more than him," and "you're probably gonna go marry them one day instead of me," or "you probably wish you'd lose your virginity to them instead of me."
He then proceeds to demand I rip every poster off my wall and tear it up in front of him to 'prove my love' for him and if I didn't he'd 'kill himself'. He was bawling his eyes out, the kind of crying where it's like you have the hiccups and it's hard to breathe.
I was shocked and when I refused to do the things he wanted me to do, he stood up and punched a huge hole in the wall next to his bed. At the end of the whole conversation that night, he said he forgave ME and then he loved me and acted like nothing happened the next day. He had/probably still has anger management problems to this day. I'm not sure if he's ever going to get help for it.
The Notebook
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When I was a sophomore in college I started dating a girl I met at a party. Anyway, one day she left a note book in my car. Curiosity got the better of me and I thumbed through it. It was filled with names of our future children, her name with my last name, and prices for engagement rings. I had know this 19 year old for a grand total of two weeks at this point.
All For Attention
We dated for about 6 months before I broke up with him for hurting himself for attention.
He would cut himself so deep that fat poked out and then show me. When he didn't outright show me, he would hint that he cut again "oh ouchhhh" *grasping arm* then would look at me and hope I noticed. When I would make him show me (to make sure he was okay, no infection etc) he would refuse and refuse but eventually give in and then crack a little smile while showing me.
He'd do this kind of stuff for attention all the time. But I was so "madly in love" that I didn't notice. It hit me when he called me (FaceTime) and "tried to hide" that he had just attempted to hang himself. I realized this was all for attention right about that moment.
I pretended not to notice the marks on his neck but he kept trying to find ways to flaunt them, like showing off collared shirts, leaning in close to button them. Applying lotion to the area, rubbing over and over etc. when I continued to pretend not to notice for like 45 mins he eventually got mad at me and told me that I wasn't giving him attention.
That's when I went ballistic.
I told him everything that I'd noticed ending with "I think it's time to end this, I'm breaking up with you" he told me that he'd kill himself if I broke up with him. I said "okay please don't do that but this is over" and hung up. Probably not a good idea in hind sight.
After checking up on him through a mutual friend (he's fine) I learned that he had been cheating on me with someone I'll call P. Now P and him were dating. But now he's cheating on P with someone called D. He and P broke up and now he's dating D I have no idea if he's cheating on D or not but whatever.
I talked to P and P broke up with him for the same reasons. I'm glad that ended and I wish it was sooner.
Horror Film Headlights
When I was driving back home from visiting my father and my long-distance boyfriend was in his car at the gas station down the road. As soon as I had passed, he pulled out and followed me to go home.
We had been dating since I was old enough to date. I met him through one of my online friends who lived in the same state, but she was way up north while I was in the Southeastern part. (I'm an adult now, but we started when I was just 13.) He loved the chase as he flirted with other women and left me begging for it to just be me. A sick teenage relationship.
But the more he cheated, the crazier, more jealous, and more possessive he got. It started by him saying, "Let's just get rid of our social media, that'll help tremendously."
Then it went to, "I prefer if you left me on speaker when you're with friends and I'll just mute my end."
So as a high school girl, I had a solid clique of girls I hung out with, and they were forced to hang out with me with my phone on call with my boyfriend at ALL times. Even while we slept. Again, still didn't ring a bell in my head that "hey, this guy's a little off." Stupid teenage in love me.
We were old enough to drive at this point, so any time I wasn't answering my phone as much as I did the day before, he'd show up at my house. (We lived 3 hours away from each other). Literally any time my texts even changed mood in the SLIGHTEST.
At this point, he was ATTACHED and did not have a single care in the world about anything except me. Life seemed great in my book, because if he's so focused on me, he's not paying attention to others right? Wrong. I developed a habit of going through his phone after all the times he'd done things behind my back and bingo! Found another victim in his cycle; he was cheating again.
So after I had found out, he made us download Life360. It's a popular app for parents to locate their children with their phones. I was to get the app and join his "circle" and he labeled all the points where I should be. This is when I started to feel a little off, I didn't think he was crazy. But again, what the hell red flag didn't I miss so far?
After months of him tracking me, and getting numerous calls when I went to a destination that wasn't labeled, I went to visit my father. That was another unknown location that we had forgotten to label because I didn't visit my dad's much. You're able to see if it's a house or business location by zooming in, and that's exactly what he did.
We were arguing that day so I decided to stay off my phone and enjoy time with the family. Hours had passed, and it was around 10 pm, so I headed out to go home. No biggie. Still didn't check my phone.
I was about two minutes away from home when I saw the gas station... and then my heart started racing when I saw his car. He was just sitting there, watching and waiting. It was like a horror film, he had his lights directed towards the road and was ready to leave as soon he saw me. I checked my phone in fear, and I had over 30 missed calls from the dude. About 50+ texts. This is all from ONE DAY.
That. That is when I realized. Oh sh*t. I'm dating a crazy person.
You Stole The Car
I had been dating this guy from work for a couple of weeks. He seemed nice and pretty put together. He told me he needed to go pick up his sister from another state and would be out of town for a weekend. Several days later he calls and says he may not be back for awhile because he had been arrested for stealing a car.
"The car you have driven ever since I've known you?" which was a couple of months. Yes, he says, but it's a misunderstanding. He starts telling me a nutty story about how he had been given the keys to drive the car "for a little while" and he just hadn't gone back yet because he had been busy and he just thought of that as "borrowing" the car??? For months???
I asked him if he had paid a deposit or had arranged anything with the dealership. No he says, why should he? While I am digesting all this I realize some red flags about certain behavior I had noticed but dismissed when I had been riding in the car with him; he was nervous in heavy traffic, round about routes, freaked out when spotting a cop car, etc.
There was also the fact that he still had the dealer tag, expired, on the car(he said he had moved and hadn't updated his address).
I told him,"You stole the car." He starts going no no no and giving a convoluted excuse that I couldn't even understand. Long story short I told him I never wanted to see him again and to never call me again. He never even came back to work.
- happyhag
Sushi Date
Calling it "dating" would be stretching it as it only lasted about one date, but I took a girl out to sushi and 24 hours later I heard from a friend that she had already named our children and planned out our future. Suffice it to say, I got the f out of that relationship in a flash.
Darth Plushie
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In eighth grade, some guy had a massive crush on me. However, he only talked via a Darth Vader puppet and called it 'Darth Plushie'. He thought it was hilarious and great, and even put that thing around the corner of the girls bathroom whenever I was getting out. It was... interesting...
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/