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Workers Share The Common Misconceptions People Have About Their Jobs

Workers Share The Common Misconceptions People Have About Their Jobs
Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash

Misconceptions can happen anytime. We're prone to them if our experiences, media and representation are limited.

The way in which we see the world can cause us to have "naïve theories," or ideas about the world that our brains took short cuts to get to. So, you may think you know all about how to be a good lawyer because you watched 10 seasons of Law and Order, but really your scope is limited to an exaggerated fictional world.

Thankfully, we have the internet with the ability to share what it's really like to be lawyers, teachers, mathematicians, computer scientist, and so much more.


Redditor KTLJay asked:

"What’s a common misunderstanding in your line of work?"

A few professionals over on AskReddit told us the truth about some of the wildest misconceptions about their careers.

Software Developers

"Software developer here. People seem to think that if someone knows anything about computers they know everything about computers."

"I've been a professional software developer for over 10 years, so friends and family come to me with all their computer related questions, but I know jack shit about computer hardware, or really anything that isn't related to code."

- Renmauzuo

"I work software support, and this same thing goes for my household and family. I'm the 'tech guy.' I tell them every time that if I don't know how to set something up, or configure something etc. (which is often) I just tinker till I figure it out."

- shartnado3

Military

"That everyone in the military is in combat."

- solidsumbitch

"When I got out this was a big issue for me. I did IT for the army, and I had several job interviews where I'd go in and they'd ask me general army questions and we would talk about ruck marches or HMMWVs, without ever once giving me a technical question."

"Then a week or so later I'd get a response from the interviewer that they weren't sure about my technical ability. I had to change up my resume to imply that I did IT for the army instead of being in the army doing IT to finally get real interview questions."

- Lark2231

Retail

"As a retail worker, the most common misunderstanding is that I give a sh*t what happens."

- w_4wumbo

"I'd laugh to myself whenever a customer would proudly exclaim 'They would never shop here again!' like I'm supposed to be offended or something."

"Great! One less a**hole I'd have to deal with!"

- bangersnmash13

Designers and Engineers

"Pretty much every conversation between Engineers and Designers."

“'That’s a cool design man, but probably can’t be done at any moderately acceptable cost.'”

“'Why not, it’s JUST metal?'”

- AmerisaurausRex

"Lighting Design from architect: 250,000"

"Lighting Design in budget: 50,000"

- annomandaris

"I'm an engineer. No I don't want to help with your in-home DIY project. I'm not even that kind of engineer."

- Grindelflaps

"Or their car problems."

- The_Sherpa

Mathematicians

"Being a mathematician does not mean that I'm particularly good at mental calculation - I'm average-to-mediocre at it, as a matter of fact."

"I toyed with the idea of learning it for fun, and sooner or later I might just for the heck of it; but really, it has nothing whatsoever to do with what mathematics is about."

- Lyrolepis

"Me too! I was never particularly enthusiastic about math growing up, but somehow fell into a Math B.S. program. I love the conceptual stuff but something about quick mental calculations just wasn't built into my brain from an early age."

- DreamsOfCleanTeeth

Computer Scientists

"There is a huge difference between a computer scientist and tech support."

"I tell the computer to do things, I'm not here to fix your damn router."

- PAVOLU

"I feel so bad for people in the IT area at work. One of my former coworkers decided to finish his degree in computer science and move to the IT area and people call him for everything from, my phone isn’t working, computers internet is not on, can’t open this app on the computer, even how to search for things online."

"Anything remotely to do with a computer he gets called in to help, and since he worked with us for so long and knows most of us he’s the first person everyone thinks about calling. Anytime he comes to just say hello he’s inundated by calls to help in one way or another"

- docasj

Movers

"Moving is expensive. Like, really REALLY expensive. Especially now with staffing shortages. And it’s seriously a “you get what you pay for” business. It always surprises me when a person has $250k worth of furniture in their 6-bedroom mansion but gasps when it’s going to cost $5k to move it."

- KTLJay

"Damn 5k is a steal, are the moving local? My employer payed like 14k pre-pandemic to move our house."

- AjKawalski

Lawyers

"No, your lawyer didn’t screw you because he didn’t get you off or your lawsuit got thrown out."

"Also, lying to your attorney because you don’t want to be embarrassed doesn’t help you out."

- DildoBaggins82

"Also you need to tell your attorney EVERYTHING in order for them to be able to properly gauge how to represent your case. Doling out information piecemeal or immediately before a hearing is a sure fire way to lose."

- BriefausdemGeist

"Correct. When I was in private practice I always told my clients to share everything, even the embarrassing stuff. Also, just because you have dirt on someone doesn’t make what you did ok or mean it is even admissible in court."

- DildoBaggins82

Teachers

"As a teacher, I do not just stand there and read from a textbook all day as if the kids are engaged and behaving well. Believe it or not, some people actually believe that’s all we do."

- anr14

"Fellow teacher (US): that we will work for shit wages because it’s, 'for the kids' or 'our calling.' Yes, watching kids learn is a huge perk, but I need to support my family too."

"Oh, also: that we only work 9 months a year…way off…we are working, planning, and learning even when kids aren’t there."

"Also that we get paid for our 'summers off.' No, we get paid a yearly salary for working a set number of days. Most of us choose to have it distributed for 12 months so that we have a regular check. Many of us pick up a side hustle or two during the summer to make ends meet."

- clover_1414

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Paramedics.

"We don't just drive the ambulance."

"We are degree level trained healthcare professionals who specialize is assessment, treatment, and signposting of urgent and emergency patients in the community."

- Bozzer999

"Also - being taken to hospital in an ambulance does not mean you’ll be seen quicker/first. The quicker you’re seen in hospital, the sicker you are. So if you can wait a bit, I'd count your lucky stars!"

- I-have-blue-eyes

"Why do paramedics get paid less than retail or fast food workers and why do they continue to do it if the pay sucks? Always been curious about this."

- cred_it

"They care. Same problem teachers have."

- frzn_dad

Pharmacists

"Pharmacy."

  1. "We do not just count pills. We make sure the physician prescribed an appropriate drug/ dose and there are no interactions. Not to mention hospital, specialist, industry pharmacy and many other areas people have no idea exist."
  2. "As an extension of (1), it doesn’t take 2 min to fill a script. We are doing 100 things at once and there are hundreds of patients a day. We also have to wait on physicians to fix any issues or insurance to approve meds before dispensing."
  3. "We do not decide your copay so redirect your anger."

"Many others, but these ones in specific are huge misconceptions."

- AdAccomplished4386

"Furthermore to add, pharmacists are experts of drugs and medical devices; please do not yell at us when we ask you not to give oral decongestants to your 2 year old child."

- ddorsamo1013

Machinery operators.

"That machining is easy, like you just push a button. The shop I’m at is a whole lot more detailed than that. We machine close tolerance aerospace parts on exotic metals that love to fluctuate size. It’s always a challenge but I’ve always loved doing this work. It’s been a good trade and provides a comfortable living."

- 1980pzx

"I just tell people I drill holes lmao."

-Hawkwound

Geographers.

"I'm a geographer. People still think all a geographer does is learn the names and locations of cities and rivers."

- small_Jar_of_Pickles

"What do you do ?"

- waverly76

"It very much depends on what you specialize in university. I worked at an energy company for a few years as project developer. That includes mostly analyzing areas with mapping software if and where solar parks are possible. After that it was a lot about discussing with land owners and public offices. Nowadays I'm in my dream job, which is urban planner. I work for the city council and help design strategies to make individual neighborhoods more livable and more sustainable"

- small_Jar_of_Pickles

Account manager.

"I’m an account manager for a huge Water hygiene company. People think water is safe as we get it freely from a tap, but when people start storing larger volumes of it and at the wrong temperate it’s a legionella issue. I fight Legionella one day at a time."

- JollyLemon6173

Life guards.

"Life guards stationed at the German coasts are, in fact, oftentimes not from around and therefore cannot recommend tourists their favorite restaurant and/or know where to find the nearest ATM."

- BlueBox_42

"A lot of beaches in America are like that. Most the help is just seasonal work there for the summer and not an actual local."

- AmerisaurausRex

Accountant.

"Accountant. Everyone assumes we're all tax experts. In reality, there's a lot of different specialties including audit, accounts payable, forensic accounting, etc. I personally despise tax and wouldn't be in this career if it only involved tax."

- DeathSpiral321

"This was going to be mine, but I'm the bookkeeper for a CPA and he specializes in agriculture and tax. To add on to the assumption, people are always flabbergasted at the (reasonable) charge of $150 per person for income tax we charge. They think since there's organizations like H&R that'll do it for a percentage of the return/cheaper set rate if they owe, and you can do it online yourself, that it's just a quick simple process."

"They don't realize all the little ways they word the forms, and only someone trained in tax can actually get the most every year."

"It never fails, every year we have a few clients that try to argue our price. We just tell them to go to H&R, they're cheaper for a reason. You get what you pay for."

- BudsandBowls

Security guards.

"A lot of people have a distorted view of what security guards can actually do."

- Pennsyltucky-79

"Well, what can security guards actually do?"

- SecretSummerMidnight

"It all depends on where you work. Most security guards are there to call the cops if something crazy happens. Now, armed security is a bit different."

- Boop_BopBeep_Bot

"'Observe and report,' i.e. they'll watch you get beat up & robbed and call the cops afterwards. They absolutely will not step up to protect you in the heat of the moment."

- mcpusc

"This depends on a lot of things. Some places the guard is like a really fancy door, granting access to people that are supposed to be there, tells everyone else to leave. Some guards are there as an insurance write off. It helps to have someone who knows the grounds, probably knows first aid, has access to camera systems. Some are just there to call the cops (note, most people are terrible at giving police a report. This isn't hard, but guards are better at it than you are. I.e. make and model, direction of travel, sh*t like that). There are other posts that involve more hands on. Bouncers get into a scuffle pretty much every night. Guards at medical clinics and shelters are getting into some kind of altercation all day every day."

- perfunctory_penguin

So how do we combat these misconceptions?

We keep talking about them. We tell our own stories and listen to others.

And maybe we hit up more articles like this to hear from real people from around the world.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

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People Reveal Which Non-Horror Movies Absolutely Traumatized Them As A Kid

Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'

No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.

Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.

Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!

Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:

"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"

It Was Tim Burton, After All...

"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."

"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."

"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·

With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...

"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."

"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf

That Funeral Scene Though...

"'My Girl'."

"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismiles

macaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphy

Jurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...

"'The Land Before Time'."

"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass

He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...

"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end

"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99

The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...

"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl

"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusician

brave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

And Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...

"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."

"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."

"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway

Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation

"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."

"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet

Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...

"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"

"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypen

child GIFGiphy

Offing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!

"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."

"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."

"UGH!"- looseseal-bluth

At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555

At Least The Song Is Catchy...

"Neverending Story."

"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1

Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphy

Dorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...

"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx

"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz

The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma

"Old Yeller."- IceTech59

"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."

"Cried and cried and cried."

"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch

Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought

"'The Fox and the Hound'."

"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnation

best friends friendship GIFGiphy

Sometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.

Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.

Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...

(... and it won't be The Craft...)


Close-up of a man wildly smiling with his face painted like the joker
Photo by Mihail Tregubov

Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.

Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.

Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.

And oh the fun that can be had.

You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.

You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!

And then just watch them implode.

Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:

"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"

I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"

Then I scurry away.

Tee-hee...

It's YOU!

For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy

"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."

"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"

"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"

hamletreset

Mean Kids...

"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"

NicklePlatedSkull

"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."

itsallgoodman2002

"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."

Download_more_ramram

"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."

i_was_planned

I Like You

"I don't get why other people don't like you."

Dependent_Main2643

"Another variant is..."

"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"

"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."

Oh-Cool-Story-Bro

"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."

ThreeBeatles

Rumors

“'I heard about you.'"

ignorantpigeon

"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."

ElApolloLoco

"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."

winoforever_slurp_

Problems

Drunk Party Girl GIFGiphy

"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"

LuketheMook

"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."

Supersnazz

Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.

Especially with the drinkers.

But get them at least semi-sober.

I got You

Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."

could_use_a_snack

Hush

"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"

ch3rrycsmos_

"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."

ablackcloudupahead

You Again

"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."

Stillwater215

"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."

KrtekJim

Big Mouth

"You really need to brush your teeth."

setthepinnacle

"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"

"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."

ToFaceA_god

Head Issues

Think About It GIF by IdentityGiphy

"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."

Stillwater215

Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.

Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.

Couple laughing
Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.

What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.

Redditor thann3 asked:

"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"

Backing Up

"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."

"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."

- evilpinkmoney

"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."

- kingoflint282

That Reading Voice

"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."

- donbruh

Overwhelmingly Happy

"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."

"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"

"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."

- snarkylarkie

Safety First

"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."

"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."

"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."

- eeeeriemarie

Certain Accessories

"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."

"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."

"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."

"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."

- GemoDorgon

Good Chemistry

"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."

"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."

- yoooozername

That Deep Stare

"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."

- SamCham10

The Perfect Sweater

"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."

- wastedmytwenties

"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."

- schnaizer91

The Sleeve Roll Trick

"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."

- farrah_barra

The Corniest Jokes

"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."

- Hobbbitttuallly

The Perfect Wine Pour

"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."

"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."

- chicken-and-awfuls

Specific Arm Movements

"Two things."

"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."

"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."

- shimmydownnow

Love Language: Physical Touch

"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."

- 1beeratatime

Totally Saved It

"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."

"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."

"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."

"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"

"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."

- anyesuki

Simply Existing

"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."

- andytheloser12

While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.

Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!

Shocked woman
Alexander Krivitskiy/Unsplash
Extroverts love conversation.

Unlike introverts who tend to shy away from engaging in random discussions, those who are comfortable–or too comfortable–in their own skin love to get all chatty.

That doesn't mean they have anything significant to say.

Strangers shared their bizarre interaction experiences when Redditor AlexanderKeef asked:
"What’s the weirdest thing someone casually told you as if it were totally normal?"

People whom you don't know tend to overshare as these Redditors experienced.

A High Request

"A story from a friend - in Colorado, someone once asked, 'Could you watch my wolves, I can pay you in weed.'"

"There's a lot to unpack in that question!"

– surlymoe

"You don't unpack wolves, you keep them together."

– hwarang_

Unsolicited Prediction

"Husband (30) and I were pushing our shopping cart out of the grocery store when a random man (who honestly looked like dumbledore) looked at my husband and said 'take my hat, you're gonna need it, you'll be bald very soon.' Obviously my husband didn't take it. It was super odd of him to say because my husband had a FULL head of hair."

"Three months later, my husband was diagnosed with a condition that made him lose all of his hair. Weird coincidence."

– hollyjollyaf

Self-Casting

"A guy once told me how he loved the feeling of wearing casts, so he'd put casts on himself- for days or weeks on end. Even if it meant he couldn't drive and would be stuck at home the entire time. He'd use vacation time just to wear full leg & arm casts."

– Present_Dust_2308

Homophobic Homosexual

A homophobic guy I know: 'Being gay is a choice.'"

"I said something like - ok, choose to be gay for a day, an hour, a single minute if you can."

"Guy - That's easy, I'm attracted to men all the time, I just choose to only like girls because I'm not gay."

"Me - Ummm..."

discostud1515

Longheld Grudge

"Once, an older woman came up to me on the street, took hold of my wrists and simply said 'they ripped out my afterbirth', and then carried on walking."

– JennyW93

"It's strange to grab strangers. But one day in Walmart, my granny walked ahead of me, and reached to grab me to show me something, without looking and she was pulling on an old lady's arm obliviously, and the old lady's eyes were like O.O."

"My grandma didn't even apologize, she just let go and yelled at me to stay closer."

– chzygorditacrnch

A Hairdresser-In-Training

"I was getting my hair done this last weekend by my daughter at her cosmetology school. One of her fellow students was excited to meet me. She talked nonstop and eventually told me that she has hemorrhoids and that she has her husband push them back in. So much TMI from a stranger!"

– Digjam823

You never know about the personal lives of people you see on a regular basis.

Squeaky Clean

"I had a college professor on the first day of class say that she is obsessed with Q-tips and cleaning her ears and that her family has to limit her to 3 a day-"

– lokeilou

Here's The Story...

"That they have 6 kids, all with different dads & each dad is in prison."

– ChyCgx2

"I once had a coworker who had seven kids with five different women and he'd constantly complain about how most of his paycheck went to child support. You uh, dug your own grave, pal. I'm really not sympathetic to your plight."

– apocalypticradish

It's the end of the world as we know it.

End Of Civilization

"I know a guy, we don't talk often but due to business we cross paths on occasion. More or less every time we talk he asks if I'm ready for the total societal collapse coming next week, or Tuesday, or at the end of the month.. and so on."

"I just tell him that it's not gonna happen; he usually then asks about my "crystal ball" so I remind him that I've been right every time."

– rkpjr

Zombie Apocalypse

"I went to a ComicCon type event in my city years ago(Walking Dead was a new show, first season for reference) and went to a panel about zombies. They talked about historical zombie lore, the first zombie movies, and the exciting first season of the new show Walking Dead, with some actors on the panel. When they opened it up to the audience for questions one of the first ones was, 'what kind of zombies do you predict we’ll have in a real zombie apocalypse? (Fast vs slow)'…panelists don’t really know how to answer, each gives their personal favorite or worst case scenario. Then we get to, 'What do you think the timeline is for the start of a coming zombie apocalypse?' Panelists are kind of like….? Talk about how things usually play out fiction."

“'No, but exactly WHEN do you think we’ll need to be fully prepared for zombies in real life?' Like, guys, these are actors and media studies academics, first of all they don’t have the level of belief you do and second, the people you should be asking about this stuff are probably biologists."

– AlternativeAcademia

Whenever I feel threatened by a homeless person who is pressuring me to hand over them cash, I tell them, "I''m allergic to corn."

The random phrase throws them and in the brief moment they assess what they heard I'm afforded more time to distance myself from them.

It always works, especially when they realize I'm all kinds of crazy and not worth targeting.