Finding love is an arduous journey. You kiss frog after frog after frog and every once in awhile a prince arrives, if you're lucky. But there are definite behaviors to adhere by when participating on a date, or really its all about being a decent human being. how simple is that?
Redditor u/What-the-jelly-beans wanted all the ladies out there to give us some dating tips about impressions by asking.... Women of Reddit: What's something that guys do on a first date that tick all the boxes?
Too Cool....
Ask questions and be genuinely interested in my answers. Don't just ask a question then wait for your own turn to answer. Genuinely be curious about my work and my life, and ask follow up questions that show you're really trying to understand. This shows that you respect me for my experiences and knowledge, not just for what I could be for you.
And be honest about what you love. Don't try to be cool. Your passion about something silly or "nerdy" IS cool. Seeing someone gush about something they're interested in is really attractive. dogheavenjanet
No surprises.
Show up on time. Be well groomed but please god no cologne bath. Be polite. Ask questions! So many guys just blather on about themselves. Listen. Don't get distracted. Offering to pay is gracious, it's also antiquated and going dutch is fine too.
No surprises. Don't ask to go somewhere unplanned—it freaks us out and makes us think we may get murdered and put in a dumpster. Say what you're thinking! If you had a nice time or want to kiss us, say it! handleurscandal
To the Zoo....
I was on a date once where the guy surprised me by going to the zoo. When we were at the zoo he would get in front of me to open up the door but then would open it for himself and intentionally close it behind him leaving me standing there. I was so shocked and laughed so hard cause that's definitely the opposite... still make me laugh... that was one of the best dates. :) TennisBabel
Good Chat.
Be genuinely interested in what I have to say. The key is "genuine". Like if I mention a topic I like, I don't want you to spend ten mins telling me how much you know about that thing. I want to have a proper conversation. DramasticFantastic
No Dirty Stuff....
GiphyHe does not get sexual on the first date. No perverted comments, no trying to sleep with me. Also he needs to be kind not only to me but to the waiter as well. Queen_Aurelia
Needing Space.
Respect my autonomy. The amount of men who try to push my boundaries within minutes of meeting me is very disturbing to me. On my first date with my husband he asked if I'd like a drink and I said 'nah, it's Tuesday and I'm a lightweight' and later on he asked if I wanted to grab coffee after dinner and I said 'I had a great night, but I need to get going'. He didn't push me for a reason, he didn't buy me a drink anyway, he didn't get hurt feelings and lash out.
As a small women who is constantly picked up by guys (if you pick up women because they're small and you think it's funny then know that you suck because it's a terrible feeling), asked the same questions 20x in a row ("where do you live I'll take you home!" a guy once asked when I was out with a friend with no need for a ride home), touched or kissed, or had things bought for me that I definitely did not want it made me feel SO SAFE to meet someone who had a clear understanding of boundaries.
My husband was also super polite to staff, a great and appropriate conversationalist, and exactly the right amount of dressed up, but most men I know can do that and COMPLETELY fail at boundaries. rickybakerahah
Lost Connection.
There are a lot of reasons why a woman doesn't want a second date that has nothing to do with you. She may realize she is not ready for a new relationship. You may have done everything right and she just may not have felt a connection. Unfortunately, ghosting seems easier than being honest to some. Queen_Aurelia
"text me to let me know that you got home safe."
GiphyActually planning out a date, not just repeating "I dunno, whatever you wanna do is cool." Having a generally positive outlook/disposition, being kind to everyone we encounter, being funny but still polite, asking interesting and thought-provoking questions, doing gentlemanly things like opening the car door. If there is a clear connection/attraction: being confident about going in for a kiss at the end of the night, but without necessarily the expectation that it will lead to sex right away. Saying "text me to let me know that you got home safe." Obeezy_12
I Got a List.
- Suggests a place
- Arrives on time or early
- Puts effort into his appearance
- Is attentive while I'm talking
- Doesn't bring up exes
- Smiles
- Makes me laugh
- Maintains eye contact
- Is nice to the waitstaff
- Doesn't check his phone
- Waits with me until my Uber arrives scorpio-mood
Be Kind.
GiphyDecent conversation of course, with both people asking questions about each other with genuine interest, but also- being okay with silences, and not feeling awkward when the conversation falls into a natural lull for a few moments, just picking up another topic when one comes to mind, and giving everyone a moment to catch their breath. Also, walking me to my car after gets bonus points, personally. And a "let me know when you get home safe" or something like that melts my heart. just_moss
very sexy.....
GiphyPay attention, no phones, no distractions. My current partner noticed the waiter bought me the wrong drink order, not bad enough for me to worry about. He calmly and kindly corrected and arranged for a replacement, no fuss, no rudeness, just made sure I got what I wanted... very sexy. Jayjayjune
Being Handled.
I went on a date once with an older guy and the waiter got both his drink and his food incorrect. I would've been annoyed and let it show a little but my date was kind both times when asking for a correction. It was quite sexy how he handled the situation. I felt almost intimidated by how smoothly he handled it. GLaDOs18
Be Refreshing.
Being genuine. I love it when a guy on a date actually seems to be feeling me out as a friend instead of just a potential hookup. (I.e. not afraid to engage in a friendly debate, doesn't agree with everything I say) it's so refreshing. meganmcdevitt0
Grinning....
Actually listening to what I have to say. My current boyfriend and I had a 12 hour first date because neither of us could stop talking. We just clicked and allowed each other to respond and actually listened.
Also, a deadly sense of humor gets me every time. He told me a risky one liner about thirty minutes into knowing me and it paid off big time. Still haven't forgotten the grin that came along with it once I started to laugh. dardardarrr
"an associate"
GiphyMy biggest weakness is getting a meaningful convo going. It gets to be like an interview and I have yet to get anywhere with anyone because it's like talking to a coworker you'd consider "an associate" friendly, but not a friend. Maybe so far I've just had no chemistry yet? TheDragonLake
A Few Things.
- Is polite to any staff
- Looks like they put an effort in
- Shows up on time
- Good conversation!
- Doesn't badmouth exes
- Doesn't drink too much
- Doesn't spend it on their phone
First ones that come to mind! ladykerbs
A guy that smiles.....
A guy that smiles, makes me laugh, seems interested in how I'm doing, flirts but isn't overly love-bombing or fake-charming, is nice to the waitstaff. I actually like if a little nervousness shows, as long as they're able to reciprocate in the conversation. LadyGuillotine
It isn't a hook up.
If you are on a date then do what you are supposed to. Be interested, show who you are and be in the moment. Don't be preoccupied with your phone, don't get hammered, and don't assume sex. If you are on a date you are giving the impression you are interested. It isn't a hook up. Pritapia01
"this fool is gonna murder me"
Which boxes are we talking about here? The "I must immediately make this man mine and keep him forever" boxes or the "this fool is gonna murder me" boxes?
edit: I have heard the will of the people and given the boxes:
The boxes are now yours. beepborpimajorp
In Your Eyes.
GiphyMaking eye contact during conversation. Not looking at his phone. bread_cats_dice
- People Confess The Real Reason They Didn't Go On A Second Date With Someone - George Takei ›
- People Share The Best Questions To Ask On A First Date - George Takei ›
- People Share Their Best Responses To The Question 'Is This A Date?' - George Takei ›
- The Best Questions To Get To Know A First Date - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.