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Woman Seeks Advice For Subletting Her Apartment With Difficult Roommate Who Can't Get Her Act Together

Woman Seeks Advice For Subletting Her Apartment With Difficult Roommate Who Can't Get Her Act Together
Photo via iStock

Difficult roommates are no joke. They can really ruin your entire life. And then how do you deal with asking somebody else to step into your situation?


u/needroomiehelpplease laid out her situation for us:



I'm [22F] at my breaking point with my difficult roommate [23F] over a moving-out mess. Feeling like I deserve for her to be flexible just once. Am I being unreasonable?

I moved in with Holly 9 months ago. We met on Craigslist but she seemed nice, was my age, and so I bit the bullet and jumped in. Where I live, places are extremely expensive as well as very hard to secure - so if you decide to move, you better be ready to move the weekend coming. I wish I'd have had more time to get to know her and look at more apartments, but that's life.

Holly makes $44k, and I make $73k despite being a year younger than her. I think she's a bit resentful of this, and thinks I don't have any money problems or any reason to keep a tight budget. I've explained to her before that I have student loans, car payments, and several other financial 'responsibilities' that I've committed to, and paying for gas and train fare to and from work (30 miles away) etc. but either way - she often makes snide remarks about how I make soooo much more than her (probably undeservedly in her opinion, although I was an ambitious teen and have technically been working in my industry since I was 16, and I got my bachelors in 2 years so I've had more years of experience at work. I'm actually below market salary for my title). Her parents bought her a car and pay for it, and they put her through college debt-free. She also seems to think that her job and responsibilities are far more difficult than mine, and that she's grossly undervalued.

Anyway, when we moved in, it was in a rush, and it was very hard for us to find somewhere within her budget. She was also very picky and inflexible about everywhere we looked at. For a budget of $1200/month, she wanted W/D in-unit, separate bathrooms, a second floor apartment, parking, a large bedroom, lots of light and windows, and something lofty with exposed brick. Unfortunately, those demands are laughable in the area we live. Coming from the mid-west, she really didn't understand that. So, we found a place that is literally the best deal I've heard of in the area - a first floor 2bed 1bath, dishwasher, with a patio, a gym and pool and parking lot, and coin-operated laundry in the building. However, for her to afford it I would have to pay the difference of $175. So, her rent for the last 9 months has been $1200, and mine has been $1375. For this, I got an only slightly bigger bedroom.

I've hated living with her. She's extremely messy and treats the rest of the apartment like it's her bedroom. Her clothes are always everywhere, she never washes dishes or takes out the trash, and the bathroom is disgusting. She leaves used tampons and pads out in the open and uses an electric toothbrush for about 4 mins every morning and night and just drools toothpaste any place she walks while she's brushing. I'm the only one who has ever cleaned the bathroom, and it took me until 3 months into the lease to realize she didn't know how to use the dishwasher. Aside from her gross behavior, she's extremely needy and takes up all of my energy if I'm even in the room with her. Her social skills are lacking because she's so over the top and exhausting to be around and doesn't know how to be 'chilled', and I know she's had issues at work about her professionalism. She is a social justice warrior and will rant to anyone she can get her hands on about issues she's only half-informed on. None of my friends like her, or will hang out with me if she's there. Any guy I've ever brought over turns out to be 'just her type' and she ends up crushing on them forever. She's also a virgin which has been a bit awkward but not a huge thing - it just means that when she's around a guy she misinterprets very small things as being big (e.g. OMG he hugged me what does it mean). She also goes on rants about guys and sex when she's literally never had it. I really just can't stand being around her and sometimes she talks so much at me that I start to want to cry in the middle of her speaking. I just shut myself in my room whenever I'm home, or spend my time on the patio which she doesn't like to do because she gets cold. Luckily I work from about 9am until 8.30pm and do a lot of workout classes or networking events most evenings.

At the beginning I tried to drop hints and make nice suggestions to her, to try and get through it better and make it work. Nothing worked though, and she would only get very insecure and upset - asking if I hated her while on the verge of tears. I just want to be direct, but she can't handle it, and it makes the living situation worse. So I just shut up for the rest of the time and tried to keep busy. I stopped telling her what I would be doing so she couldn't invite herself. She confided in me that she was kicked out of her sorority in college and that 'people always leave her' and she was so happy that I wasn't going to do that to her. I feel so awkward and phony around her and just spend most of my time nodding and zoning out of her rants, or saving errands like grocery shopping or working out until I know she's at home.

I always thought I was an extravert, but I realize now I'm a social introvert. I love going on dates and seeing friends, but I haven't done any of that because an hour at home uses up all my people energy for the day and I just want to hide. I used to go on a date every week or two, but I literally can't face human interaction because she sucks all my energy out, leaving me depressed because I'm not having fun outside of work. She always needs rides places, picking up from the airport (which she won't reciprocate if it conflicts with her agenda or her sleeping from 11pm - 11am) and needs emotional support about her job issues 24/7.

Ok - so fast forward until today. I'm moving to the City to be close to my office. Holly wanted to stick together, but nowhere in the city is in her budget and she wouldn't be able to get any of the amenities she insists on. So, after 2 months of looking for places and gently discussing it, we've come to the amicable choice that we will live in different places. For a while she was sending me links to places that were 2b1ba where I would be paying 2.4k and she would be paying 1.2k - and I told her I couldn't stomach paying double than her for zero extra perks. Anyway, I'm venting, sorry. So we're moving. We thought our move out day was July 1st, so I made plans around that. I found a gorgeous 4bed with a couple friends in the City, a 10 min walk to my office. I'm moving there on Saturday.

Holly on the other hand, can't find anything because she's so damn picky. She won't budge on her amenity requirements. So we went to look at the lease to see if she could do a month-to-month extension and find someone random on Craigslist to take my room while she remains here. It turns out we both messed up and the lease actually ends on July 31st, a month after we had anticipated. Holly was really happy because it meant she had more time, but I am devastated. My move-in costs at the new place are totaling about $5k this month - and I can only just just just make it work. This now means that I also owe an extra $1375 to pay the last months rent at the old place with Holly. It's my own fault for not reading the lease properly before I signed for a new place, but it sucks.

Since she had suggested a new CL roommate for her staying at the apartment, I asked if we could do that for July anyway and she said yes as long as I found someone "not crazy". I put an ad up, and have had loads of responses. We're right next to a famous university, so lots of smart and mature students/executives here for summer have been emailing me. I've forwarded them all onto her for approval and she's said no to all of them for various, silly reasons.

Finally today a girl emailed me saying she was doing a summer medical program at the university, and she was bringing her sister (who wants to do a grad program) to see the school too. They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used. They sounded the most promising, and I was sure Holly would be interested, so I sent their app along. I thought she would be keen on having two potential friends.

She responded saying

Her: I also think the rent should be higher.. This is a downgrade of quality of living for me so I shouldn't pay as much. Kinda like how you didn't want to pay $1000 more than I was paying to share a bathroom with me in the city.

Me: I think that's a bit different because you're already sharing a bathroom, and we were talking about a $1000 discrepancy there for the exact same living situation as each other. How much more would you want them to pay?

Her: Right, but sharing a bathroom with two people is different than sharing with one person. You and I don't have conflicting schedules, so it's a non-issue, but I would be pretty annoyed if I couldn't get ready in the morning because there were two other people in the queue, when I didn't sign on to share a 2BD with two other people. My mom's office weighed in and they all recommend the rent being split in thirds. I mean, I think the point is I shouldn't have to be stuck with anything? I signed on for a nine-month lease with one person I knew. And all the sudden the expectations are changing and I'm supposed to pay the same. How would you feel if you were in my shoes? This is my life, too.

I do see her point. But I'm really frustrated because I thought that this was going to be the one she liked, and I'm at my wit's end. The women can't afford what Holly is asking for, and there is nobody else in the pipeline that she approves of. I feel like I've spent the past 9 months bending to her needs, and sacrificing my time and money because of it, and she can't give me this one thing? Just 3 weeks of having an extra person use the shower, which will be paid for in utilities. Everything I feel like I've done for her is coming down to the line for the bathroom? I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it, only to have her treat it like shit. I just want to get the f out to my new apartment, but I don't know what the fuck to do about the last month of rent I'll owe, and can't afford.

Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not? Do I tell her everything I've told you here and hope she changes her mind? Am I being unreasonable? If I am, what should I do about the cost of the last month of rent?

Thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate any insight.

TL;DR: I need to move out of my place a month early, and can't afford to pay rent on two leases. My roommate won't accept anyone for a month-long sublease so I don't know how to afford it. I also feel like I deserve a favor from her, and more than anything I've just reached a breaking point with her and am very upset.

Here was some of the advice she got.

One

Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not?

Yes I think you should. However....

They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used.

I'm willing to bet there is something in the lease regarding guests and length of stay so if you piss off Holly the sublease might not work if she decides to go scorched earth.

I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it

I think that should count for the extra month but honestly you might just have to end up eating the 1/3 cost and file under the "jerkwad tax" for getting her out of your life.

half-dozen-cats

Two

Oh my god this person sounds horrible. Pick someone...it seems she's delaying the inevitable so that you'll end up having to pay that month which you can't. Or just leave her alone to deal with getting a new roommate and move the f out of there when you were original planning on leaving. Or ask if you can shorten the lease by that one month. I'd move the f out of there and let her deal with the bullshit she's created. I don't have patience for selfish children like that.

twitchingtorso

Three

Equal split doesn't make sense if you're splitting a 2 BD/1BA by 3 people. It shouldn't be 50/50 or by thirds. Something in between if she had been paying a fair amount (which it sounds like she hasn't).

But it honestly might not be worth arguing this. You're dealing with a baby who goes to mommy and whines, rather than deals with something herself. If I were you, I might take the financial hit for two reasons: one is she might do something shitty that causes you not to get your security deposit back and two is you don't want her to treat your subletters like shit. I know it's not your fault that she's a sh*tty person, but I would feel bad about that.

CinderellaElla

Four

If money weren't an issue I would just pay July's rent and tell her to f*ck off at this point. I am completely exhausted by her just from reading your post. She has literally had a negative affect on almost every aspect of your life, you can't go on dates or hang out with friends because of her. You have convinced yourself that you owe her something or that she's too weak and would be devastated when you leave so you are putting your entire life on hold just to appease her. Honestly I hope you completely cut contact when this is all said and done, this is not a healthy relationship.

ThatGuyMiles

Five

You can be nice for only so long. If it comes to it say something along the lines of "Out of respect for you I brought you into the sublet process, even though I didn't have to. However, it has reached a point where I have to make a decision. These people seem really nice and will be here just 3 weeks. I'm sure you will get along with them during that time."

Slayer1791

Six

Does it say anywhere in the lease that you need the other roommates acceptance to sublet your room? If no, just do it. You met this person on craigslist 9 months ago, you owe them noting.

Slayer1791

Seven

I agree with /u/Slayer1791 -- if her permission is not required, do it anyways. You've already let her dictate the terms of your arrangement for this long. Unless she's legally able to dictate this, don't budge. You don't owe her anything and it's not like you want to continue being friends with her anyways.

nopecakes

Eight

She sounds awful but in an effort to reduce your losses would you be willing to throw in the difference between what the potential subletters would pay and what she thinks she should be paying? In this example they'd pay the 1375 you were to pay and you would throw in the difference between the 1/3 share she thinks she should pay and the 1200 she owes

It would suck to let her "win" here but may be the best compromise so you don't get stuck w the full 1375 and no subletter.

Spiker1986

Update

Hi! I remembered my old post and figured I'd update since I love updates, especially juicy ones. Old post is here.

Re the moving out situation: I didn't bring on a subletter, and let her live alone for a month. My plan had been to move to the city and live happily ever after. I was planning on moving into a shared house via a startup called Campus. Literally the day before I was supposed to move, they shuttered their operations. SO, I moved in with my parents because I did NOT want to go back to living with Holly. This worked out well for me financially. After a couple of months I found a new place in the city and moved in there - all was great. Holly renewed her lease with an acquaintance from college who was moving to our area.

I mentioned that Holly had issues with professionalism - well, Holly ended up getting fired from her job. I reached out to another agency in her industry I knew well, in the same field, to set her up with an interview (ugh, why) and she ended up getting the role. After she got it, I went for coffee with her to talk about it, which was the first time I'd seen her since the move.

She told me she wasn't enjoying living with "Emma" because Emma would never invite her to things or be home as much as she originally said she would (shocker). In general, it sounded like Emma dealt with a lot of what I'd dealt with.

Then I brought up something funny, that I'd matched on Tinder with a guy who'd worked with Holly at the agency she'd been let go from. I had met him once at some company thing I'd gone to with her. She immediately asked me to message him and ask him what he thought of her. She told me she'd had the biggest crush on him the whoooole time she'd worked there and that he was The One for her. We left it at that, with her asking me to promise to message him. I said maybe.

Well, I did message him. And we went on a date. She texted me almost every day asking if I'd heard from him and when I finally responded and said we were going out, she became extremely upset. She asked me to make a choice between him or her. She said I was boyfriend stealing, and that I wasn't a good friend. I wanted to tell her I WASN'T HER FRIEND. So I took her up on her ultimatum, and I chose him over her.

2.5 years later that guy and I live together and have the most gorgeous dog and life. We have a great friend group, great jobs, and our families are so close we've all spent Christmas and Thanksgiving together too. He's so hot and cool. I'm 25 now and he's 29. Our dog is a 1 and a half Aussie!

I've never spoken to Holly again, but since my boyfriend is close to his old coworkers (don't worry, he wasn't fired) who keep up with Holly on social media, I've heard that she moved to L.A. and has cycled through FOUR more companies, each time getting fired. I don't know much else about her life since she blocked me on every single form of social media INCLUDING VENMO. I've never met a person who knew her that didn't think she was bats*it, so that's validation.

The End.

u/needroomiehelpplease

The Dumbest Person I Know
Photo by iam_os on Unsplash

The average Joe is just that…average. But there are many people out there who fall below the bar set by Joe. These Redditors shared their encounters with people that made them lose faith in humanity and facepalm hard.

1. Color Me Confused

I was training someone on the cash register. I said, "Someone's bill comes to $12 and they give you $22, how much change do they get?" She replied: "Do you honestly expect me to do that in my head?" Oh, but that wasn't her dumbest moment.

Later, it had just rained and the sun was setting. This highlighted the sky and wet parking lot red/pink/orange (quite beautiful). She looks at me and says, "Wow, it must be so hot out, the ground is red!" She was a senior in high school.

offendingotter

2. The Radiator

My uncle's girlfriend won't allow him to be anywhere near his brother who is undergoing radiotherapy treatments for cancer. She says she will break up with him if he does. The reason? My uncle could catch radiation from his brother and give it to her and her son. That's when I realized she is a complete moron.

Never_Free_Never_Me

3. Laundry Lesson

shallow focus photo of washing machinesPhoto by Jeremy Sallee on Unsplash

In undergrad, I spent my summers working at a Boy Scout camp. One summer, I had an 18-year-old staff member assigned to be my assistant (we'll call him Joe) who did many, many stupid things.

My favorite incident was this: Late one night, some of us were hanging out on the front porch of the staff cabin next to the shower house, complete with the washer and dryer. We see Joe going to and from the washroom but didn't think anything of it.

At midnight, we're all turning in for the night when Joe comes up and asks, "Does anyone have any detergent?" "Yeah, I have a tide pod you can have”. I hand it to him, and he goes, "Thanks, I don't think the detergent I made is going to do the trick". We all kind of stopped and looked at him.

Then someone asked, "Joe, how did you make laundry detergent?" Without a pause, he says, "I just mixed together some bleach and hand sanitizer”. After the initial laughter, I asked, "Joe, why did you add hand sanitizer?"

Again, without missing a beat, he responds, "Because it kills 99.9% of bacteria”. I guess the bleach was for the remaining 0.1%...

WeaponX-92

4. Made To Measure

I went to a hardware store for plexiglass cut in a 12 x 12 square. I got 12 x 18 and handed it back to the guy, and said it was wrong. I couldn't believe his response. He called me an idiot. I said if it was right it would be a perfect square and not the rectangle he handed me.

He showed me how he measured. It was 12 inches but measured twice on the same side. This "little lady" had to show a 70-year-old how to measure correctly. He's 70 and works in a hardware store but has no concept of how to use a tape measure correctly? Then he got offended when I corrected him.

Famous_Essay623

5. Dragon Slayer

I’ve been a hairdresser in chain salons for around six years now. When I was at the two-year mark, I had a woman in my chair for around an hour. Her husband and teenage daughter were over my shoulder the whole time. She had literally no clue what haircut she wanted and also had very fine hair, and not a lot of it.

We just kept going shorter and shorter and she wasn’t happy with it by the time we got it to just below her ears. This woman looked me in the eyes and asked a question that made my jaw drop: “Can you make me look like Goku?"

I said, “Ma’am, I don’t think anyone can make you look like Goku. I also don’t think I can give you what you’re looking for today, you can go ahead and head out. The haircut will not be charged”. I still think about that interaction a lot.

General_Mode_7632

6. Code Brown

white ceramic bathtub with stainless steel basePhoto by Oliver Hale on Unsplash

A few days ago, I was cleaning the men's bathroom as part of my job. The toilets were SUPER messed up: flushing the toilet on the left would cause water to come out of the pipe below the middle toilet and flood the stall, the middle toilet was heavily clogged, and using a plunger wouldn't do anything.

If you were to try flushing it, poopy water would rise up, and when you tried flushing the urinal, water would rise up and take minutes to go down the drain. I told the other workers that the toilets were out of order and needed an out-of-order sign until plumbers came to fix them.

One worker decided to check out the problem, and I told him that a plunger wouldn't fix the problem and to not flush the toilets. He didn't listen to me. He tried flushing them anyway after using a plunger and flooded the bathroom.

After making a mess, he STILL kept trying to flush the toilets and flooding the bathroom with more refuse. Because of him, I had a disgusting mess to clean up. I had to vacuum up so much brown water WHILE standing in it!

elephant35e

7. One Direction

My older sister believes North is the direction in front of you. As in, North is only a personal thing, and that true North isn't a thing. My dad yelled at me for arguing with my sister because she was right. She claims to be a scientist and has worked in research labs. My dad is an engineer.

Neither are in my life anymore by my choice and there are a lot less of these comments!

Viperbunny

8. Have Wings, Will Fly

I work in public works. Next to my building, we have a huge fenced-in yard where we keep signposts, extra street lights, etc. It's a giant yard.

Anyway, the last thing we do every day before we leave is lock the gate to the yard. Last week I was going to lock the gate then my senior pulled me aside and told me to wait, I asked why. His response almost made me burst out laughing.

He was concerned because there were geese in the yard and he didn't want to lock them in...This yard does not have a ceiling of any sort. There were three of us that witnessed this and after about five seconds of awkward silence I finally just said, "They are geese, they can fly out”. He seemed dumbfounded by this revelation.

Acceptable_Reading21

9. The Meaning Of Life

silhouette photo of group people standing on grassPhoto by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

A girl once laughed at me at a party when a friend and I were debating the merits of Evolutionism vs. Creationism and anything in-between. She was cute and flirty, but then she erupted into a tirade about how dinosaur bones were planted by Jesus a few hundred years ago and Evolutionism was a hoax.

Politically, she was super leftist on fiscal policies and pro-communism. Socially, she was far-right on stuff like abortion. It was a very bizarre combo.

Christmas_Panda

10. Baby Babble

My wife and I had a baby recently (about two weeks ago). My in-laws are over for a few weeks for supervision/support so it doesn't become overwhelming. My mother-in-law keeps worrying about why he doesn't play with all the toys she got him. Are you serious? He's two weeks old.

He can't even focus on thinsgs yet. My father-in-law wanted to take him to the emergency room yesterday because he got an eyelash in his eye. Twitches. My in-laws are nice people, but I have no idea how they raised two kids.

apandya27

11. Blocked

This is my mother. I love her to death. But she has absolutely 0 spatial/self-awareness a lot of the time. Whenever she gets a text/call she stands still right then and there to answer it. On the top of the escalator, in front of an elevator, you name it, all of the most inconvenient places.

Inevitably, someone says something. Usually, it's a pretty assertive "excuse me". Every single time she gets so offended. It's incredibly funny to see. It really sucked when I was growing up because if I said anything in those situations it was "disrespect" and I'd get punished, but now that we're all grown up she gets no reinforcement and it's great to see.

I know that probably sounds really bitter talking about my own mother. But there have been so many times like this where she has literally blocked me in the driveway, taken 5+ minutes to move her car at a snail's pace, and then punished me for getting tardies at school, or punished me for being "disrespectful" in yelling at her to move more quickly so I'm not late so I don't get punished by her.

MrLionOtterBearClown

12. You’ve Got To Be Puddin’ Me

two bowls of chocolate pudding with raspberries on the sidePhoto by American Heritage Chocolate on Unsplash

One time I was going on some kind of trip with my class. It was that sort of trip where you had to spend a few days in a bad hotel with your class and your teacher while you apparently learned something about "teamwork". Anyways, on the last day, we had some pudding for dessert after lunch.

When we started eating, this one girl asked: "Why is it warm?" And I told her it was probably because it was just cooked, and she looked at me like I was crazy. This girl didn't know that in order to make pudding, you have to mix the ingredients together while they are BOILING.

Of course, it's going to be warm if you don't put it in the fridge afterward! The worst part is that after I told her that, she proceeded to ask every single teacher and student that was in the room if what I told her is true...I get that not everyone is a pro-chef, but come on!

Rilex26

13. Water Me

I just saw a husband and wife take their dog to one of those water fountains that have the water fountain for people, the water bottle filler, and a dog bowl on the other side. The husband takes the dog to the dog bowl side. The wife starts getting involved and drags the dog out of the dog bowl and points toward the drain, and turns it on.

I am telling her the dog bowl is on the other side (where her husband had the dog in the first place). She ignores me completely. Now her dog is licking the water bottle filler spout...what a dumb lady. I feel bad for her husband…but how anyone could choose to live with someone who can't listen?

kittenfordinner

14. What’s The Solution

I worked in a lab, and had a summer intern assigned under me. I told them we had to dilute one chemical X amount into a solvent...Blank stare. I tried every analogy and example I could come up with to describe the concept of taking a set amount of one material and spreading it out with another.

Eventually, I was telling them how after work I was going to pour bourbon into a glass, then add some water. The same amount of bourbon, but more beverage. It never clicked. Science was not their calling.

UnionLloyd

15. Star Search

blue metal storage box on green grassPhoto by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash

I was at the local rodeo a few summers back and started chatting with a guy while we waited in line for the Porta Potty. He noted that there were two bright stars out already even though it was still a little light, and I said, “Oh I believe that's Jupiter and Saturn! They always come up over that mountain”.

He looked at me and said, "Stupid woman, how could we see other planets before the stars? Planets are way farther away than the stars”. I was like..... no? They're literally not? And also, you're awful??

shadowcat304

16. Pirated

I worked at a video store years ago. This was at the time that Pirates of the Caribbean, the first one, was about to be released for home viewing. A man, his daughter, and her friends come to the till with a movie called Pirates. We only have ONE copy of this movie. It’s a movie for adults...

He comes back angry that I rented his kids an inappropriate movie. Sir, do you honestly think we would only have ONE copy of Pirates of the Caribbean? Second, I'm not about to question your choice of movie rental in front of your kids.

georgiaBCat

17. English Lesson

I was at work and explaining to a co-worker how to put wrap on a cooking wrapping machine and I said, "You have to pull it taut". She just stopped and blurted out something I'll never forget. She said, "That isn't how you use that word. You can't teach a wrap”.

And my bosses came in and I had to convince them that taut was a word, and they told me that I shouldn't use big words like that all the time. The word was “taut”.

Shed412

18. Spaced Out

blue and purple galaxy digital wallpaperPhoto by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

I was at a small social at my parents’ house and mentioned something about the National Space Center in Leicester. A girl pipes up and says, "Oh I love taking my son there, he loves it. I just find it amusing because I don't believe in space".

I looked at her dumbfounded and asked if she meant she didn't believe in investing money in space exploration. No, she did not believe in space. She simply did not believe that anything existed above the sky, that pictures and videos were all fake, and that all space agencies and anyone who claimed to have been to space were lying.

The other girls in the group started nodding in agreement saying things like, "Now that you mention it, I've never really seen space".

Permalink

19. Chill Pill

In the sixth grade, a teacher told me and my friend Sonia that we had to help a boy who has ADHD because he couldn't concentrate in class and had terrible grades. We both agreed. The next day, when the teacher introduced him to us and left, Sonia took out some medicine from her backpack and made him eat it.

I didn't know what to do, so I simply called the teacher. When the teacher arrived, the boy was crying and shaking. The teacher completely lost her temper and started yelling at us. When everyone calmed down, the boy told the teacher what happened.

She asked Sonia why she did that and why she had medicine in her bag. Sonia argued that she thought if he took the ADHD medication it would cure him and she wouldn't have to help him. (FYI: ADHD meds will help you manage your symptoms, but they won't cure your ADHD).

I don't know what happened to Sonia after that. She didn't go to school for a month, so maybe she got expelled for a month? I don't know if that's possible in my country. As for the boy, I became friends with him. He's chill and we Facetime each other sometimes.

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20. Tax Time

Recently I got pulled into a conversation by a co-worker about public/private (religious) schools. He felt that his kids going to a religious school was a necessity (sorry, no, a preference. I'm not against it, it is your money) and he should be given a tax break for not using the public schools.

I disagreed as I said nobody is obligated to use a private school, that it was the choice of the parents and whether they had the means to do so. He kept on and on but really lost it when I said, "Well, I have no kids, so why am I having to pay taxes that go to public education. If anyone should get a tax break, it is me". (I should note that I do not agree with that. Well-funded and properly maintained public education is good for communities as a whole).

He really just went off the rails about entitlements and such, yet expected that I, someone without kids, should pay more so he could get a break because he opted to send his kids to a catholic private school. The dude is an idiot.

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21. Off The Vine

green and yellow watermelon fruitPhoto by J D on Unsplash

While working in a grocery store's produce department, a customer complained that all of the watermelons had a flat, yellow-y spot. I explained that this is just the side on the ground. Then she asked, "Well, when are they ever on the ground?" She thought watermelons grow on trees.

Good thing Isaac Newton wasn't sitting under a watermelon tree.

NecroJoe

22. The Final Frontier

We were watching a live feed of Voyager II in science class, with a giant red LIVE symbol in the top left of the screen. After about ten-ish minutes of the teacher explaining what we were watching, some guy behind me shouted "Yo, it just exited the solar system," and the dude next to him yelled, "Wait, this is live??"

My teacher just gave up trying to talk about it and sat back down. This was in high school.

TheNGM

23. Sampler

I worked at a grocery store for two years. We had a new hire taken to the front office to get written up for just sucking in general. He was told he wasn't going to be getting very many hours and that he could really only sample free stuff on weekends.

His response was, "That's cool but can I get the district manager’s personal phone number to ask about sponsoring my Twitch?" (He was completely serious). This kid would chase people down the store and practically demand that they take/buy whatever he was sampling, full-on sprinting at them. And the most hilarious moment of all?

He also nearly choked himself out trying to put on an apron.

Spolcidic

24. Furry Friends

black and gray birdPhoto by Jon Hunter on Unsplash

We were at a local livestock show with our emu. We were right next to a stall with an alpaca, and there was a table that spanned in front of both of our animal stalls. A parent walked up with their little kid waddling next to them. They looked at the bird, looked over at the bowl of fur on the other side of the table, and said, "Look, [kid's name], this is what they get from the bird!"

NecroJoe

25. Sicko

The number of people I've encountered that aren't wearing a mask and then announce that they're sick or "under the weather" is astonishing. I was at the grocery store the other day checking out, and the guy in front of me made a point of sticking his face in the poor cashier's face.

And then he was like, "YEAH I'M NOT FEELING TOO GOOD I'VE BEEN SICK SINCE SATURDAY. I HOPE IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS". Honestly, I wish those kinds of people would just disappear. There's nothing that can be done to make them understand why they're selfish, terrible people.

whocares023

26. On A Rant

My dad tends to rant and rave for hours at a time when he finds out that people don't agree with him. It's loud, he doesn't let anyone else talk, and if you try to leave, he follows you. It's pretty miserable. One of his rants ended with him saying that he couldn't understand why nobody is willing to have a rational discussion with him.

Aperture_T

27. Hamming It Up

sliced hamPhoto by Сергей Орловский on Unsplash

I was asked to facilitate a meeting about emergency communications. The person who called the meeting (fyi, an MBA) and I were going over topics people had suggested for discussion. One of the suggestions was ham radio. The MBAer said, “Oh, there must be a way to make a radio from a ham”. They were not joking. Not even a little.

Royal_Visit3419

28. Potty Problems

So my older sister, in her mid-20s at the time, was doing the potty dance at me while I was working on some schoolwork (early 20s for me). I asked her what she needed. “I feel like I have to pee, but I can’t pee!"

“You’re probably dehydrated. Drink some water. It’ll help”. Ten minutes later, she’s shouting from the back of the house that it’s not working. I had to tell her to not drink water while on the toilet. It doesn’t work that fast, so go drink it in her bedroom or something.

Lafemmedefeu

29. Questionable

I was dating this guy in high school who was a year older than me, and one day we were out getting lunch with his mom. She and I are talking about Tennessee since she grew up there and I lived there for the first ten years of my life, and this man looks me in the eyes and with full sincerity says, "That's in Texas, right?"

Also at one point, he asked me how they got the butter into the microwavable popcorn and a few other instances that made me feel like I should be on some sort of watchlist for dating him and question how he passed the grade I was in at the time. Overall, not the sharpest tool in the shed.

roxy-rambles

30. On The Chopping Block

white cloth lotPhoto by JJ Ying on Unsplash

I once worked at a printing shop and we have large cutters for paper. This thing has a huge blade that is wicked sharp and can chop through 1,000 sheets of paper like they're butter. There are several safety devices on it because of this. A new dude was starting and I was showing him how to use the machine.

You have to key it off, set the paper and guides, turn it on, lock down the paper, then close a lid and push a button on the left and right side of the machine so that there is no way you have a hand in there.

This guy immediately starts trying to figure out how to bypass the safety controls on a machine he's never used and will absolutely separate his hand from his body in an instant. So I ask him why on earth he would want to risk chopping off a hand or finger. His response, "I'm smarter than a machine". That guy was a complete idiot!

craigathan

31. Road Rage

Just last night I was coming from the movies and I had to get onto the highway and this car was exiting. They stayed at their speed and I slowed down because there was very little opening to merge and you're supposed to yield to the ramp. I looked over, into this guy's car—and my blood ran cold.

The driver was looking down at his phone. Then he finally looked up and notices that he was running out of real estate to exit. I lay into my horn because they've basically come to a crawl. It was infuriating. Get off your phone!

RugratChuck

32. No Hablo Español

About ten-ish years ago I was hanging out with one of my sisters and we ended up going to her friend's place. While we were there, my best friend called me. He's Mexican and I was learning Spanish at the time, so I answered my phone in Spanish.

My sister's friend got angry and shouted, "YOU DO NOT SPEAK MEXICAN IN MY HOUSE!" I told him, "I'm speaking Spanish," expecting to get in an argument and possibly be kicked out. The dude calms down and says, "Oh, ok. Sorry".

That rendered me confused and completely speechless, until my best friend asked, "Bro, did I just hear what I think I heard?" All I could say was "uhh... Yeah..."

neuro59

33. Made To Order

person preparing cooked dishPhoto by Fabrizio Magoni on Unsplash

I worked in a restaurant as a sous-chef and we had a line cook who just wasn’t all there. He was a nice dude, and he meant well, but just all the lights were off. He once made a simple salad and dressed it with a tremendous amount of grated parmesan cheese. I asked him why he did that.

His reply was, “I like it”. I explained to him that we make stuff for the customer in a specific way. He fixes the plate and it sends it out. The next order is the same salad, and the same thing happens again. And again aaaand again. What I kept telling him wasn't clicking. But believe it or not, that wasn't his dumbest moment.

I also had to explain multiple times that you don’t stick your hand in a blender while it’s blending. Multiple times.

DoubleD-forFree

34. Across The Pond

I grew up in the UK and moved to the US, and I had the following conversation:

Her: “What language do you speak where you come from?"

Me: “English”.

Her: “No, I mean what actual language did you speak as you grew up?"

Me: “I grew up in England and they speak English there”.

Her: “You don't understand, we speak English in America, what language did you speak before moving here?"

Me: “Bye”.

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35. Truth Teller

I got into a philosophical sort of debate with another student in high school on a band trip. He was sitting next to me so I overheard him say, "The only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth," like it was a mind-blowing revelation of wisdom straight from the cosmos.

At face value, I thought he was just being facetious or ironic so I chuckled, and he got offended. He ranted for like 20 minutes in completely nonsensical circles and legit did not see the contradictions he was making the whole time. After five minutes of trying to point it out, I was just like...okay buddy.

sleepingfox307

36. Snake Charmer

brown and black snakePhoto by David Clode on Unsplash

I have convinced my co-workers that snake oil is real. They are wanting to buy some from me to get mad gains. I haven't sold them any yet because we're moving into winter and all the snakes are hibernating so all the snake oil I have is being saved to keep up my family's health. But come Spring time, when the snakes wake up, I'll have some more.

I'm banking on them forgetting by Spring.

Squatingfox

37. Electrical Problems

I was a TA in high school for a regular high school. I think it was a world history course. So not honors, not "Academically Enriched," but not quite eating your own poop either. Anyways, I get to class and the power is out, so of course everyone is going nuts cause...it's dark, I guess?

So the teacher still wants to lecture and the kids all groan. That is until one yells out, "Let's watch TV!" YAAAAAY!! Everyone starts chanting, "TV! TV! TV!" I'll never forget the teacher's face as he looked at me. His eyes filled with disappointment about the future of our country.

Unable to realize that no electricity also meant no television. Sad.

neutronknows

38. Photograph Politics

My adult sister is a very liberal Democrat who constantly wants to argue politics with anyone who will listen. One day I was showing her some photographs I had recently taken on a trip to Washington DC. She looked at a picture of the Capitol Building and said, "Oooo, that's a pretty building. What is it?"

I blinked a couple of times before saying simply, "That's the Capitol Building, Sis". "The capitol building?" she asked. "What do they do there?"

OrwellWasRight101

39. Up In The Air

Air Canada airlinePhoto by John McArthur on Unsplash

This was during my exchange year in the USA. I came from Germany, and in class, we had this thing where I introduced myself and everyone asked questions about me and my country. So this one girl raises her hand and seriously asks, “Do you have airplanes over there?"

I was completely stunned by this question and had to calmly explain that I actually flew there by plane...but to this day I'm not entirely sure if she maybe just trolled me. I mean, you can't be THAT uneducated?!

Braincakez

40. Playing Telephone

My friend once couldn't find his iPhone in his house, so he rang it from the landline. His iPhone rang…while sitting on the table in front of him. He picked it up and obviously, there was nobody on the other line. He screams upstairs to his parents, with one phone in each hand: "Who is ringing me?"

I just sat there facepalming.

mmyers90

41. Paper Pusher

I worked in the records section of a government department. An outside worker injured himself and could no longer perform manual work. So, my Manager decided he could help out in the records section by doing some filing. He is illiterate and can neither read nor write. Huge mistake.

Years later, we had over 80,000 files with wrong paperwork attached that we were still trying to clean up. The Manager knew this man could neither read nor write and told us later said, "How bad could it be?".......bad.

Bishopnotaliens

42. No Energy

person wearing long-sleeved top with haloPhoto by name_ gravity on Unsplash

This was in Earth Science, ninth grade. A girl starts asking the teacher about how your halo works. She explained that it's your body's energy reserve that swirls around you in ultraviolet light. Her question was about how your body keeps it from floating away. Half the class seemed to actually take her seriously.

(I think she meant Aura, but she used the word Halo. But it still would have been ridiculous pseudoscience either way).

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43. Lost At Sea

We're talking about the missing Malaysian airplane and this girl in my class says, "Oh, it probably got lost in Panama". And I was like, "Why Panama?" She gave me this look like I was an idiot and said, "It's in the Bermuda Triangle". Me and the other guy we're talking to both look at each other like..??

And the dude says, "Jackie...Do you know what the seven continents are?" Obviously, we're messing with her because of course she would know, but she replies with: "Duh. America, Mexico, Britain, North Africa, South Africa, Europe, and China”. We laughed and then we realized she was serious.

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44. Charged Up

I know a girl who had just gotten a new phone and didn't understand why it wasn't charging when we were out at a bar.

Her: "My phone battery is draining and I don't know why".

Me: "Because you're using it...?"

Her: "Yeah but it's supposed to have wireless charging, so why am I losing battery? Shouldn't it just stay charged forever?"

Me: "....."

NewBootGoofin_

45. Times Change

Earth with clouds above the African continentPhoto by NASA on Unsplash

One of my classmates told me once that two countries could have an entire month of difference between their "local dates". For example, today is October 18th in Canada, but it is November 18th in France "because, you see, the Earth spins". We were in a science class and had been taught about the Solar System for at least six years.

MrSydFloyd

46. Eclipsed

I tried to explain that the moon and sun were not the same sizes, then all of a sudden I found myself having to explain that the sun and the moon were in fact different and not just one side fire, one side rock.

They all laughed at my crazy theories, then asked, if the sun was so far away, why is it in the same sky during the day (on Earth) as the moon was at night? They peed themselves laughing, and I just laughed with them. This was a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with my 56-year-old mother-in-law.

Sometimes the argument is lost, whether you are right or not.

stwann

47. Doctor’s Orders

We had a gentleman admitted to the ER after suffering a Pulmonary Embolism. As soon as he arrived he began screaming and belittling the ER staff for no reason, claiming nothing was wrong with him and he wanted to leave. The consequences were horrifying.

We tried to take him into Critical Care but he refused to lie down and eventually just pushed a medical student to the ground and ran out the door. His heart stopped in the parking lot about 50 feet from the Ambulance bay.

SugoiBakaMatt

48. I Don’t Know My ABCs

GameStop | GameStop, Manchester, CT. 8/2014 by Mike Mozart o… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

When I was managing a GameStop, I told a seasonal employee to alphabetize the wall. Three-quarters of the way through, he stops to ask me the dumbest question imaginable: He's wondering if P comes before or after V. He was a high school senior.

I reminded him that there’s a song about it, and his response was “Yeah, I just hum it after I get to M”. After that, every applicant was made to sing the alphabet song.

Swampwolf42

49. All Booked Up

I went on a date with a nerdy girl, and all was going well. The capstone to the date was seeing Detective Pikachu. We were chilling in the theater a little early just gushing over Pokemon stuff. Trailers come up and one is for the Tolkien Biodrama, and I mention I might go see that one too when it comes out.

“...So what, he wrote a book". She rolls her eyes. I ask, "Not a fan of LoTR?" Her response was roughly, "I've only read three books in my life, and that was three too many". It turns out that the limit to how much she can stomach reading in a sitting was roughly the same length as a tweet.

The final nail in the coffin was her asking if it was wrong that she was getting turned on by the Ryan Reynolds Pikachu.

Odd_Management_4623

50. Round Peg, Square Hole

I saw two guys laboriously trying to fit a road case containing drum kit hardware (very heavy) through a too-narrow door. They turned it this way and that and it still wouldn't fit. Their next move was dumb—I'll never forget it.

They EMPTIED THE ROAD CASE and tried pushing it through again, hoping for a different result. We laughed and laughed and then laughed some more.

okrelax

Silhouette of a man sitting  on the edge of his bed looking down
Jakob Owens/Unsplash
Happiness is something many people take for granted.
When things are good, they don't fight to keep it that way, because working to obtain a goal stems from an unsatisfactory status or adversity.

So it's not surprising then that many people have sabotaged their situations for something better and realized after the fact that they ruined a good thing.

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It's never beneficial to anyone to jump to judgment.

Especially if it's based on one simple action.

It's entirely likely that you might have caught that individual on a bad day, having a bad moment, or just experiencing a rare lapse of judgment.

Leading them to behave in a way that is not at all indicative of who they really are.

Even so, we still often find ourselves passing judgment on people, including total strangers.

Making assumptions, for better or worse, on the sort of person they are based on their public behavior.

Redditor FawnTi was curious to hear the things people witness which instantly results in their making judgments on total strangers, leading them to ask:
"What can a stranger do in public that will immediately make you judge them?"

If They Leave A Mess In Public, What Must Their Home Be Like?

"Throw trash on the ground."- crumpana

"A guy was walking in for an interview with my boss and just yeeted trash between the parked cars."

"We're a small company so we clean ourselves."

"After he left i let her know and that was that."

"How lazy."

"That would only translate to work."- seapancaketouchr

"Drop litter."

"Not pick up their dog's sh*t."- Kyadagum_Dulgadee

"Those people who throw bagged-up dog sh*t into shrubbery are the ultimate evolution of this."- LibertyPrimeIsRight

Sometimes We Use Our Better Judgement

"An act of kindness - especially one that doesn’t benefit that person."

"OP didn’t say it had to be negative."- Rettorica

news mic GIFGiphy

Shared Speace

"Saw a person unloading their groceries just push their cart into the next parking space and drive off."

"The next parking space was occupied by someone who was there, about to back out, who now had to deal with the cart behind them."

"All the judgment."- Arafell9162

No Reason Indoor Voices Can't Also Be Used Outdoors

"Scream at their partner."- FazeFrostbyte

"Screaming at someone whos just doing their job honestly."- notah0ee

The Epitome Of Selfless

"If they pick up litter I think they're a good person."- Quiverjones

"I pick up litter but I'm always convinced people think I'm weird for it, so thank you for this."- PootleBrain

Giphy

Good Manners Need To Be Taught

"Watch a video on full blast, without headphones where it is very clearly inappropriate."

"Or scream at their kids, in front of a bunch of strangers."

"I think it’s absolutely humiliating for a child and it is very telling of how they are to the child all the time."- melancholia__

Just Plain Gross.

"Not washing their hands after using the bathroom."- Nateddog21

"When I was at the dentist's office and I heard a toilet flush in a solitary bathroom, and my DENTIST walked out immediately after, I quit seeing them."- zulimi317

Especially After The Last Three Years...

"Mouth open no cover sneeze."- averagejill

"I loathe those people."- eyekunt

"During peak Covid, my coworker and I witnessed someone pull their mask down, sneeze, and then put the mask back on."

"At a pharmacy."- IDreamofLoki

Baby Eww GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

We All Have Them, But Do We All Use Them Correctly?

"Their cellphone etiquette."

"Bad or good, I will watch and judge accordingly."- BulkyHurry

"For me it's being on your phone while driving.'

"Instant rage."

"Full disclosure: was t-boned by one of those a**holes."- okwellactually

Um...

"Defecate in the middle of the street."- Prussian_Empire_23

"Saw someone do that in San Francisco once."

"I was riding the bus and looked out the window and he was just dropping one on the sidewalk with his a** towards the street."

"Then on the next stop a homeless man started cussing out the bus driver because he wouldn't let him ride the bus for free."- Dry-Breakfast-2742

Who's Really The One Who Goes Viral?

"Take out their phone to film while someone is in a bad situation, instead of trying to help / call for help."- Pioumi

Picture Recording GIF by BLoafXGiphy

Or In General...

"Being cruel to their pets."- OlyaBrnk

"Or wildlife."- kittytoes21

"Or saying something like 'it’s just a pet'.”

"B*tch this little dog is family and I would die to protect her."- Synner40

There Are Limits To "Making Yourself At Home."

"Be loud, Be rude to wait staff, let their kids run amok."- Emergency_Flounder58

"Rudeness to wait staff says a lot."- zta1978

Not Everyone Needs To Be Included...

"Speaker phone call."- Nolan

"I’ve been noticing kids these days having FaceTime calls, but not looking at the screen!"

"What the f*ck is the point of that?"

"I think I’m officially old AND cranky."- Drewbox

Frustrated Customer Service GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy

One's public behavior isn't always indicative of what they're like in private.

Even so, we've all been taught the basic dos and don'ts of how to behave in public.

Making it hard not to judge those who seem to willfully ignore them.

People working at a desk by the window.
Photo by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash

Nothing will get you in more hot water with your boss than coming up with a lame excuse as to why you didn't show up for work.

Especially if that excuse doesn't even turn out to be true.

Of course, life can be unpredictable, and sometimes what you're telling your boss might very well be nothing but the truth.

You just might need some evidence to back it up.

However, there are some excuses that might be one hundred percent foolproof for getting out of work without any resistance from your boss or colleagues.

No matter who you are, or who you work for.

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