Listen, if your twenties are the best time in your life then, barring something seriously tragic, you did life wrong. I have no idea why media tries to paint a person's twenties as the peak of their life.
Young people, please understand it is all lies. Your twenties are probably going to be a raging dumpster fire where you have no idea WTF you're actually supposed to be doing, but you're pretty sure you're doing it wrong.
One Reddit user asked:
What is something that people should stop romanticizing?
You know my answer. Check out what these people had to say.
Sacrificing For Your Job
i feel sick sigh GIFGiphyBeing willing (or forced) to sacrifice your own health for your job.
So many times I've listened to people get into bragging competitions about who has been the sickest and still gone to work. F*ck that noise, if I'm sick I'm keeping my @ss at home!
If there's one thing I hope COVID is able to permanently put to rest, it's the idea that going to work sick is in any way acceptable.
Employers are 100% on the hook for this.
F*ck off with your "lean staffing" plans (read: deliberate, chronic understaffing) and offer sick pay to your employees so that they don't feel like they have to come in and infect the rest of the staff when they're sick.
- lachwen
Trauma Is Not Trendy
I've joined some groups for bpd support and stuff and been dismayed to find they're filled with teens who have just post cringy memes and talk like anime characters.
There are even trendy words. I tried to explain to someone a couple years ago about how I got too high and started dissociating (like actually felt like I was a robot and out of my own body. Absolutely terrifying) and I didn't realize that "dissociation" has become a trendy buzzword to mean.... I don't even know what, but they were like, "Ah, yes." like they understood exactly what I meant.
Romanticizing trauma, basically. Dissociation can be super scary.
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and the number of people I've seen online that basically appear to want this disorder is appalling.
I'm in a good place now and love my alters, but for a while there I was hospitalized with sky high anxiety and all I did for 12 (sometimes 24) hours a day when I was finally home was try to manage my emotions while switching from alter to alter.
I spent all day every day not knowing if the horrible memory I just got in a flashback is real and I've forgotten it or not. It's not fun being like that at all.
He's Abusive
Joker and Harley Quinn's relationship.
He's abusive, people.
As someone who has been in an abusive relationship and can also kind of understand romanticizing theirs, it's complicated. I think that maybe a lot of women like me have been in similar simulations and can find comfort in knowing they're not alone.
None of this is an endorsement, by the way, but I do get it.
Main issue with this one is that I'm willing to bet that nearly all of the Joker/Harley lovers have only gotten their view of them via the Suicide Squad & Birds of Prey movies.
There was no abuse shown in those movies (it was kind of implied in BoP, I guess) and that is why the emancipation part of BoP fell flat for me. We never really saw the abusive relationship or the truly messed up stuff that I have heard of from the comics.
It's Harder And Kind Of Sucks
Disability. It hasn't given me "a whole new and different and unique and special perspective on things."
I just can't see as well, it makes life harder, and it kind of sucks.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you!!
Honestly, I'm so over this "you can do anything you set your mind to!"
No I can't. I'm disabled.
It's hard for my to do a lot of stuff. And that's ok. Some times it gets me down and that's ok too. I don't have to be the embodiment of positivity because I'm disabled.
Yesss! Visually impaired and chronically ill here.
It's totally fine to be happy for someone's accomplishments, but the inspiration porn needs to stop ASAP. So done with that sh*t.
And the idea that you can do anything if you just work hard? Well 1, no. I can't do anything.
But more importantly 2, I shouldn't have to work 10x harder to barely meet your standards and then get told that my disabled peers are doing way better than me. That's ableist, not inspiring.
And it's also what got me kicked out of college cause it was so inaccessible.
Just Normal
Gay people.
For pete's sake we're not unicorns. We're not inherently cuter or more inspirational or whatever people like to say about us.
If you wouldn't fawn over me if I were with a guy, don't start melting into a puddle because I'm with a girl.
I appreciate that American society (or at least where I live) has gone from borderline legal to murder me to treating me like I'm a special, I really do.
But more than anything I just want to be left alone.
- BW_Bird
You want to be - hold the phone - treated as an equal to any other "normal" person.
Crazy, right?
Hustle Culture
People need to stop romanticizing "Hustle Culture". People need to understand that overworking does not lead to being overpaid. You are just going to end up being overworked and burnt out.
Just be consistent in whatever you do.
It's like an even more twisted version of the Protestant work ethic.
Instead of suffering hard work in this life to get into heaven, you're suffering hard work just to maybe, if you're really lucky, afford to live in a house like the one you grew up in rather than a rabbit hutch in the stabby part of town.
Young Love
leonardo dicaprio love GIFGiphyYoung love.
Your first relationship most likely won't last. It'll hurt when it does end, but it's not the end of the world.
Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy, not a romance. The story is about two young people (Juliet is 13) who over the course of 4 days have a forbidden love and then commit suicide.
- dring157
Cultural products like music and movies especially f*ck up kids who are dealing with raging hormones and insecurity.
The idea that you are supposed to find TRUE ETERNAL LOVE with another confused kid puts on so much more and unrealistic expectations.
The Feel-Good Nature Of Bad
Cheating and other "forbidden fun," with relationships. So many songs nowadays embracing the feel-good nature of a bad decision.
Cheating. In the media it is shown as a love story, nobody shows the suffering that the betrayed person suffers, the pain, all the trauma. These people are always abusive, ugly, unsuccessful, all as a way to "justify" adultery!
Post Bottoming Out
I am bothered by the romanticized view of the post-bottoming out rehab process. Movies love showing people sitting in circles telling horrible stories. In real life these are stories about how you hurt yourself and loved ones very deeply.
Fix You First
Stop romanticizing getting pets, having kids, or getting married when you're unfit for that.
People need to address their own sh*t before they add another living being (partner, child, animal) to the mix.
People either don't give it much thought and think that's what they have to do. Or they think adding one of those things to their lives will fix whatever issue(s) they have going on.
Also, people that don't have children sometimes are called "selfish."
I think people (especially people with serious problems that are not being addressed) that have children are just as, if not more, selfish than children-less adults. These people think the world needs another one of them running around or they are using this human or animal to serve some purpose for their lives.
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Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor lilac_cup asked:
"Which tv series has aged like milk?"
The handling of these controversial TV story lines seem so careless in retrospect.
Addressing Child Abuse
"The very first episode of Hill Street Blues has two cops breaking up a domestic disturbance caused by a woman finding her man f'king her 15yo daughter. The man is told not to be sh**ty, the woman is told to put out more and the child is told not to be so tempting. Then the cops leave, patting themselves on the back for a job well done."
– kifferella
The Teacher's Secret Relationship
"Pretty Little Liars. I think even at the time, the teacher dating his 16 year old student storyline was considered creepy, but in 2022 it’s honestly unbelievable that was ever portrayed in any kind of positive light. Also that her parents didn’t immediately just report him to the police."
– ColdFIREBaker
Forbidden Attraction
"Not the whole series but Ally McBeal. In one episode Ally found out her bf is bi and her reason breaking up with him was she afraid that one day her bf would be attracted to their son."
– thrussie
These reality shows would never fly in a "woke" world.
Racist Cringe
"There was a reality show on Fox called 'Black. White.' Where they put a white family in blackface and a black family in whiteface."
"Just reading about it, it turns out the white family wasn't even a real family. They were unrelated actors."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black._White.
– MichaelJAwesome
Extreme Makeover
"Extreme makeover. I remember watching this show as a kid and being like oh wow they’re fixing all these ugly people with plastic surgery and making them happy. I just think that caused a whole generation to think they could change their body with money. Show lasted like 4 seasons. Couldn’t imagine that show today."
– thenightshifters
Teen Exploitation
"Secret life of an American teenager."
"Just what…."
– carlirodriguez8
A Critique
"My god this show was terrible. My wife’s sister was into it and we ended up watching a lot of it when we were dating. I think they tried to make the banter like Gilmore Girls, but it ended up being the characters repeating their current plots and arcs over and over. I don’t remember the characters at all, but the main character was such a horrible person, and the audience is supposed to root for her."
"The main things I remember about it were the religious girl claiming she killed her dad by having sex with her boyfriend, and apparently you go to Bologna to get bjs."
– MachFighterG
So-Called Expert
"You Are What You Eat."
"Host Gillian McKeith (or to use her full medical title, Gillian McKeith) was an absolute quack with an online medical qualification from a Mickey Mouse university. She pretended to be a scientist by being recorded standing around in a lab wearing a white coat, spouted unscientific nonsense that anyone who had done a GCSE in science could see through, and was obsessed with getting people to shit in Tupperware boxes."
"It got cancelled after the final series when you had to have her move in with you. In the last few years she popped up again as a prominent anti-vaxxer once COVID vaccines became available."
– MattBD
These pageant shows glorifying good looks and talent would never be greenlit today.
Performing Pressure
"Dance moms- used to be entertaining, now all I can see is the psychological effects it must’ve had on those girls."
– KE789
"Americas Next Top Model has to be #1."
"From all the behind the scenes sh*t that went on in production to what the show actually shows. It’s all just horrendous."
– Nickster1619
From Ugly To Beautiful
"The Swan, was 2 women who are considered 'ugly ducklings' participating in a pageant against each other after undergoing a three-month transformative process aka having heaps of plastic surgery."
– twozedzed
Psychological Downer
"Right?! How were they allowed to do so many procedures in such a short time while completely isolating these women from their families? Making them diet and exercise while healing from a tummy tuck, breast implants, and veneers?! The 'therapy' sessions were a joke and were just for show while these poor women with low self esteem were preyed upon for entertainment. Just out of a safety and medical prospective…wow."
– Snoo-8746
Judging The Reflection
"Didn't they also not allow the contestants/patients to have mirrors the whole time so they were surprised when they saw themselves? Psychologically having massive changes like that and it being sudden is extremely bad for your brain, you can end up rejecting the reflection because it's not 'you.'"
– Delouest
As audiences evolve, so does the writing and development of all forms of entertainment.
But because the changes are gradual, it is jarring when looking back and noticing how offensive and isolating some of these shows can be.
Times sure have changed in the world of entertainment–mostly for the better.
Curious to hear experiences from strangers online, Redditor WallStreetDoesntBet asked:
"People who moved out of the parent’s house before 30, how?"
Most people can't afford to live on their own.
Roommate Is Key
"yeah this exactly. I've never lived by myself, was roommates until I got a serious girlfriend and now fiance. There's exactly 0% chance of me being in the same position I'm in financially if I had been paying full rent all those years."
– lick_me_where_I_fart
Not A Care In The World
"I was 17, we had 4 of us in a ghetto 2bd apt (bunkbeds) we had a beer bong on a lanyard screwed to the ceiling. We'd have keggers, party's every weekend and always had randoms crashing on the floor. Could barely afford to feed myself and pay bills but still not a worry in the world and it was the best time of my life."
– ApprehensiveAd6006
One inconvenience shared by many was the sacrifice of a good, home-cooked meal.
Change Of Scenery
"Just needed a little R&R."
"Roommates and Ramen."
– SudoPuff
The "Wild" Years
"This, lol. I was kicked out at 16 and after couch-surfing for a few months I moved into a studio apartment with 4 other people."
"When I say we were poor, I mean poor - most of us didn’t have jobs. I lived off the worst of the worst food. Knockoff ramen. Dollar store canned veg. Rice and terrible year old pasta."
"It was a wild few years."
– Vetiversailles
Rice For Life
"Or rice. I lived off rice for a full year. Fancied it up by adding some salsa, and then extra fancy by also adding ranch dressing."
"Those were hard times."
– Ok_Opinion_
Having work definitely makes things easier.
Saving Up To Leave
"Started working while I was in school. Got out as soon as I could."
– ReallyIdleBones
Not Much Fanfare
"Yep, moved out for college in 2006. Came back for the summer in 2007, but thereafter I got an internship so I just stayed in the city. Got a job at the same place after I graduated."
"It was never some big moment for me (my parents are fine, just annoying), just a natural progression for me."
– Zerole00
Building A Life
"At 18. Worked in construction. Lived on a couch with 6 buddies in one house paying for college. Bought cheap land during the recession. Then built my own house."
– ReubenZWeiner
Not moving out by choice seemed to be a common shared experience.
High Turnover Rate
"Got kicked out at 14. Finished high school sleeping on friends couches while serving tables. Had a ton of roommates for the next 10 years. At any given time I was living with like 3 or 4 people, it was never boring haha"
– herriotact
Different Parenting
"I am hearing that so many people are actually kicked out in the really young age is well."
"But i am not getting that why parents are so tough because in my country they try to keep them under their wings."
– wowoao
Tough Love
"My friends parents were going to kick him out immediately after he graduated high school simply because 'That's what their parents did when they were his age.' His Dad fully expected him to go out at 18 and buy a house because 'he was able to.'"
"Then his Dad got pissed when my friend did not buy a house and went to live with his uncle instead. Even after his uncle broke down the whole 'Your mortgage is $2200/month with taxes and you expect your son, who works part time at $7.25 an hour to afford a mortgage? With no credit history?'"
"Some parents do it out of tough love. Some parents do it because they shouldn't have had children. Some parents still think the world is the same as it was in the 70s-80s and think minimum wage part time employees can thrive."
– bangersnmash13
Placed Expectations
"My parents didn't kick me out, but there was definitely an expectation for me to be moved out and financially independent at 18. My mother walked into a job as a radio DJ at the age of 18 and then became a journalist with only a high school education a few years later (early 1970s), so she had this expectation that I could do the same. The thought of me being able to do anything like that in the 2000s was laughable."
– pie12345678
I moved out of my parents' house because I booked my first professional gig on a cruise ship.
It couldn't have worked out better. I was paid to perform on board in the shows while my rent was already taken care of since I lived and worked on the ship.
I packed one suitcase and traveled the world doing what I loved for about two years. It was the best way to transition into an exciting new chapter in my adolescent life.
What's your moving out story?