This article is an excuse for me to talk about how terrifying Argentina is.
See, I have a well-deserved healthy respect for orcas. I am fully aware that I am out here walking around like a chicken tender and that an orca could, and would, likely just casually chomp me down.
More than that, we know orcas can, and do, communicate in highly sophisticated ways: often about food sources and hunting techniques.
Imagine being eaten by an orca and then it goes and gives you a 2 star review on Orca-Yelp like "Eh, it was a little screamy on the way down..."
I can't. If I'm going to get eaten, I'd rather it not be by something capable of criticizing me afterwards. It's a nightmare scenario.
As such, I have decided the entire country of Argentina is a hellscape for me.
Reddit user eeca20 asked:
"What is the wildest animal fact you know?"
Which leads us to the fun-fact I learned while sick-watching a nature documentary a few years ago.
The orcas in Argentina have taught themselves how to hunt on land.
But first let's talk about some other stuff...
Deadly Whale Songs
Sperm Whale Diving GIF by Oceana
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"The sperm whale is the loudest animal on Earth and could potentially kill you with just the noises it makes."
"They've been recorded over 200db, which is comparable to a space rocket launch in close proximity. There's conflicting evidence but some scientists think they can use noise to stun or even kill giant squid."
"They can also expel about 90% of the air from their lungs before they dive and store extra oxygen in their blood, so they don't get decompression sickness from their deep dives. This also helps to make them less buoyant."
"They can dive up to 10,000 feet deep for over an hour."
"It's also the largest toothed predator to have ever lived and have the largest brains on the planet."
- SPYK3O
Lumos
Looking Coral Reef GIF by Monterey Bay Aquarium
Giphy
"Humans have 3 colour receptors and can see roughly 20 million colours. Mantis shrimps have 27 colour receptors."
"Let that sink in."
"A mantis shrimp's eye has 3 bands - one for seeing visible light, one for infrared and one for ultraviolet. The reason they have so many colour receptors is so they can actually process all of the information given to them by each band, and not just have a sensory overload."
"Also, Mantis shrimps can punch faster than the speed of sound, so they can effectively cause sparks underwater."
- DapCuber
"They punch so fast (the same acceleration as a .22 bullet) that a bubble of vacuum is created."
"The cavitation then violently collapses causing temperatures equal to the surface of the sun. So they're actually punching the water so hard and fast that they're causing light to be created from that punch... sonoluminescence."
- LookMaNoPride
The Ravens
David Attenborough Life GIF
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"I know wolves and ravens have a mutual relationship."
"Ravens will search for prey from above and make a specific call to alert the pack. The wolves make the kill and leave a bit behind so the ravens can get their fill."
- Im_not_da_guy
"I watched a raven beat the crap out of a falcon last summer."
"It was shocking how much more agile and capable it was in the air. The raven was easily flying circles around the falcon."
- user9347556765455678
Blue
Blue Eyes Hbo GIF by Game of Thrones
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"Most blue in nature is not through pigments."
"It's something called 'structural color' where complex microscopic structures literally trap other wavelengths of visible light. Most blue pigment is actually a diluted purple."
"I believe only one butterfly and a type of fish have actual blue pigment. Everything else is structural."
"Even humans with blue eyes don't have blue pigment, they have structural color."
- InfamousFault7
The Strongest Bear
Water Bear Snow GIF by PBS Digital Studios
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"Tardigrades - also called water bears - can be boiled, frozen, subjected to immense pressure, the vacuum of space, or dried out for a decade… and live!"
- FlobbleChops
"They also used them to test the survival of a living organism surviving interplanetary travel of space debris. Water bears survived impact speeds up to 825 meters per second (1845 mph)."
- brandonfla
Snake Sillies
Jungle Book Snake GIF
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"Many survivors of black mamba bites have reported feeling euphoric as the (neurotoxic) venom began to take effect."
"Such reports lead scientists to isolate the responsible compounds from the venom, which are currently being investigated for use as non-opioid painkillers."
"The inland taipan is the world's most potently-venomous snake, which means it takes a lesser amount of inland taipan venom to kill a person than any other snake venom."
"Despite this potency, however, there has never been a (reported, much less confirmed) human death by inland taipan bite. This is largely because these snakes live towards the center of the Australian continent, where there is basically zero human habitation."
- PaniqueAttaque
"Wait, euphoric as in happy, giddy, and silly? It bites you, then gives you and gives you a case of the sillies so you die with a joygasm?"
"That is both terrifying and rather polite."
- [Reddit]
Argentina's Orcas
discovery channel swimming GIF by Shark Week
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"Orca’s off the coast of Argentina have a hunting tradition where they intentionally beach themselves in order too snag sealions from the shore."
"Yeah, orcas hunt on land now, too."
- darell255
"Jesus imagine finding a stranded orca, thinking it’s dead, coming close to it and it bites your f*cking head off that’s terrifying."
- a-fat-penguin
A Fish Out Of Water
David Bowie Yes GIF
Giphy
"Betta Fish are anabantoids, meaning they breathe some air like humans with a special organ called a labyrinth organ."
"I have one as a pet and I can’t fill the tank to the top so he can breathe at the top. Every few minutes or so he comes up for a quick gulp of air, then goes back to whatever he is doing."
"Because of this, if a betta jumps out of water, (they are also great jumpers, can sometimes jump more than 3 inches, evolved like that because in natural environment so jump from water to water) they can survive, in the right conditions!"
"A betta can survive 6 hours out of water if they are in a humid environment to maintain moisture, and can breathe in oxygen with their labyrinth organ."
- Fish_make_me_happy
The Lion King
nat geo hyena GIF by National Geographic Channel
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"Hyenas have a startlingly complex Matriarchal social structure and they are one of the most well adapted animals to their environment."
"As most will know, they eat bone with their immensely strong teeth and jaws, but this serves a very important function. Their droppings are white, and very rich in Potassium and Calcium, so helps to nourish the plains so that other wildlife can thrive, making them critical to their Biosphere."
"Also their forelegs are longer than their back legs, giving them the advantage of being able to see further across the plains compared to a similar sized animal with more proportional legs."
"The Lion King has a lot to answer for the reputation of Hyenas as duplicitous and base creatures!"
- No-Cryptographer-192
Male Mosquito
Mosquito GIF by Discovery
Giphy
"Most people have never seen a male mosquito and wouldn't recognize one if they did."
"Why? They don't drink blood (flower nectar only for those "bad boys") so you won't have them land on you, they are typically quite a bit smaller than the female, and they have weird branched antennae that kind of look like tiny deer antlers."
"How do I know? Well, I took a medical entomology class with a lab and then spent almost a year doing lab research on mosquitoes where the first step in my experiments was to raise them and the day the emerged from larvae separate the boys from the girls... since I was only conducting my experiments on females."
- RetiredEpi
So before we wrap this up, I want to go back to this whole orcas-hunting-on-land thing. I don't think Reddit really went into how absolutely terrifying this is.
The mental image of one lone orca laying around on land chomping on sea lions is bad enough, but what Reddit didn't talk about is how the orca gets back into the water.
Orcas can't walk on their front flippers like sea lions can. They can't really belly-scoot like seals, either.
They have to get back into the water through the power of team work. That is not heart-warming, stop "aww-ing" and start "AAAAAHHHH!-ing" in existential horror.
The rest of the pod lines up along the beach and, in unison, use their tails to create a wave big enough to wash the beached orca back into the water.
They have to coordinate that. They have to talk that out.
They have to decide whose turn it is to take the risk of going on land, then appoint someone to be spotter for that guy and look/listen for signs of distress or the signal that land-orca is ready to come back into the water.
They have to work out and agree on what those signs and signals will be.
Argentinian orcas have already done all of that - and done it so well that they are now teaching it to their orca children, grandorcas, etc. They get together for educational sessions and will often capture, release, and re-capture the same poor traumatized sea lion over and over for training purposes.
This level of management, communication, and coordination this proves they're using is horrifying - particularly when you consider that humans are probably far easier to catch than sea lions.
They basically have HR, trade school, and on-the-job training, fam! How does anyone in Argentina even dare to GLANCE at the ocean knowing what their orcas are capable of?
I'm out, Argentina. Y'all can keep your terminator orcas.
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
