One Reddit user opted to ask about things people no longer care about.
People took the opportunity to get some things off their chests.
The question:
What do you just not give a fuck about?
It spawned some gloriously heartfelt rants.
We Just Want The Recipe
The forty-seven paragraphs of bullsh*t before the recipe.
I read somewhere that those paragraphs and paragraphs are for the purpose of keywords/SEO. You have your nana's legendary pasta sauce recipe, but it's in a sea of other crushed tomatoes and garlic pasta sauce recipes.
comedy cooking GIF by CBC
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You have to add in that nana was from Sicily, ran through a meadow of basil, oregano and always went with papá on trips with their pigs to hunt for truffles. You remember your mom and nana preparing fresh pasta growing up and even sneaking the vintage Chianti all the while Sinatra played on the record player in the living room.
Anyway, for my Tostino Pizza Rolls you need:
- A paper towel
- A microwave safe plate
- Pizza Rolls
- A microwave
- Toaster Oven**
**Optional for crispy exterior
God, isn't this real.. It's always on my phone in a hurry and I had to go back to the recipe only to have it refresh to the top. I then re-begin my hunt between the ads, the giant story and the 1 million comments of "that's awesome! we love you! i tweaked it this way. do you like me?"
Just... Give... Me... The f*cking recipe. Was it 1 tbsp of butter or 2?
- y-aji
This is such an underrated comment.
Look Sarah, I don't give two sh*ts about how your mother set the table "just so" every night for family dinners when you were little, and that you now recreate that for your two sons who don't eat gluten and are homeschooled.
Can I please just have the damn recipe for your roasted parmesan potatoes so I can move on with my day? Thank you!
Best Seller
A book being a New York Times best seller.
Not that hard when they have a bazillion categories.
I know a "bestselling" author. He is really just a rich kid that grew up with some legit physical handicaps. But his rich parents hired a ghost-writer and she put together some come-from-behind inspirational life story.
Well the rich parents have a charitable foundation that bought enough copies to put the book in the bestseller list in some small category. And now you have a bestselling author who does motivational speaking.
- Funkshow
Drama
98% of drama that happens between people who have no part in my life
I have a friend who likes to tell me every bit of drama happening with her vast extended family every time we hang out.
I just nod politely for hours and when she comments that she wants to write a book about her family I don't say, "dude, no one wants to read that."
I just bite my tongue, nod, and plan to avoid our next get together. They're a family friend so I don't want to burn bridges, I jut don't initiate the hang outs anymore.
Aging Has Its Benefits
What people think of me when I make a decision that only affects me.
I used to care a lot. As I got older I became so much more apathetic to it.
Sometimes people begin to notice the apathy and then they just stop displaying their dissatisfaction towards you since it's clear you don't care anyway, which is sweet.
Mostly seemed to kick in sometime in my early 30s. From talking to friends they for the most part stopped caring around the same time.
Helen Mirren Beer GIF
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I once saw a post that proposed that basically everything from birth to about age 30 goes in the "finding out who are" bucket and literally everything after that point is "doing that on purpose" which seems to hold up, lol.
I like combining it with my grandma Chickie's advice: growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
And that's why my car is decorated with stickers and plushies, a rainbow wheel cover I crocheted myself, and a clusterf*ck of "good luck charms" from friends and family hanging from the mirror.
Does it make my car look like it belongs to a 16yo girl instead of a 34yo man? Probably.
Do I give even a single measly f*ck about that? Absolutely not!
It's my car, I can make it look like Lisa Frank puked all over it after being dared to chug 47 rainbow margaritas if I want to 😂
They're My Team
My superiors' opinions about how I lead my subordinates.
I've been in the Army for 8 years, and I've found that leading with fairness, friendliness, and for lack of a better term, love, inspires more cooperation and success than enforcing loyalty through rank and command.
My superiors call this "being their friends" and putting myself in a position to be manipulated.
But frankly, I've never experienced that, and I don't give a f*ck if they don't like it.
My dude, your brand of leadership was the only leadership I respected when I was in the Navy. People in leadership positions in the civilian world don't really understand it, either, but morale is more important than that horrible strict discipline you try to force on people.
I'll work harder for a boss I can tell to f*ck off than one who barks orders any day of the week.
My supervisor is like this (Air force) and I'd follow him to hell and back.
Sure I get pissed off about something I think is stupid but in the end, I can differentiate between him being my boss and friend. Hell, we do golf outings with our small shop and bbqs.
I've never been happier with the people I work with and I hope to be as good as he is when I get more peeps under me.
But What If You Don't Want To Go To The Pub?
Alcohol
I'm from Ireland and nearly everyone's social life or sporting events revolves around alcohol consumption and I'm just like no thanks.
I'm from Scotland, and it's daaamn hard to find something to do to socialize that isn't seriously compromised without alcohol.
Dinner is one (but what do you do after?) and I'm enjoying meeting people for lockdown runs. But on a rainy December Saturday, what the hell do you do if you don't wanna go to the pub?
I do drink myself, but I think the lack of cafe culture and (understandable) lack of outdoor activities drives a lot of the social and health problems we have here.
Tribal Warfare
Sports. I've never understood why people get so emotional about their teams. The relationship some people have with it, and their passion for something that has basically no real-world impact, has always been weird to me.
I am a sports writer. I can answer this question, the answer is tribalism. Being part of a family group, while struggling against other outside groups.
Humanity's favorite thing to do is to separate ourselves into little groups and fight each other. People are by nature xenophobic, and sports is a perfect alternative to civil war or a religious crusade.
Jerry Seinfeld had a comedy routine where he observed that rooting for sports teams was just "rooting for laundry", as the players change on a regular basis. And to an extent he is correct, but the organization remains, and we are a part of the one we choose to love, and we are a family and an in-group with like minded fans, and f*ck those guys over there.
Sports is the last place where tribal warfare is not only accepted, but encouraged.
Season 3 Football GIF by The Good Place
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That explains why people DON'T like sports. I think it's a rejection of tribalism in favor of actual achievement.
Tell me about something YOU did that you are proud of? I get that - it's something about YOU.
I also understand if you're bragging about (or proud of) something a team or group you are actually a part of accomplished - you participated.
But going on and on about your city's team simply because it's attached to your tribe? It doesn't click for me.
- fsr1967
I was looking for this and I'm disappointed by how far down I had to look.
The point about tribalism makes sense, but it's depressing. Do we not have enough things to be tribal about?
Plus I'm not a fan of how rich white guys essentially buy and sell 18-year-old kids from marginalized backgrounds (economic or otherwise) and then gladiator them until their brains are spaghetti.
Scratchy Scratchy
Minor scratches on your car's paint. I've known several people who will absolutely lose it over a scratch the size an eyelash.
It always makes me always wonder what it must be like caring so much about something so tiny. What other bull must they lose their minds over?
I agree with you here. I'm a hardcore car guy and don't actually care if mine get dinged or scratched. It's a 4 thousand pound object that was created to get driven, do people really expect no wear and tear?
I don't get that, either. I thought it was normal wear and tear and shows you use your vehicle? I have a ton of scratches on my car, and most of them were probably created by either me or my S/O.
Still a good car.
And our older car was in this really bad hailstorm once where the hailstones were as big as golf balls and baseballs. It has some dings in it from that. Kinda like a souvenir.
Work ...
I'm ready to retire so I am trying to get let go because IDGAF about this job anymore.
I've been doing my job as poorly as I can force myself to. My employer is huge and cutting staff. I've got a reasonable chance at getting a "Go Away" package worth several months pay.
Barring that, they almost certainly won't fire me for cause so I can still collect unemployment. So far they are keeping me around. I'm literally failing at failing.
Apathy On 100
"I seriously could not give half a f*ck less about anything that happens anywhere, to anyone, for any reason outside the four walls of my house."
"My wife, my kid, my dogs, I will kill to keep them safe from the horrific dumpster fire that is life in the USA in 2021, but I don’t have the bandwidth to give even a single crap about Trump v Biden, BLM, transpride, la raza, proud boys, #metoo, Kanye West, Harry and Meghan, who hates whom in whatever third world shithole we’re bombing this week. None of it."
- Cruush_Halochek
"Drama."
"The only time I care about it if its something big like rape and sh*t. But even then, that's only to people I know."
"If its anyone else ,sorry man I can't help you nor am I bothered to do so."
- RageMeDaddy
Influence
"Instagram and a lot of this influencer stuff."
"I don't give a f*ck which one of you can hide your little fat rolls the best with your poses. I don't care who eats what for which reason."
"We all know it's a facade and still compare ourselves to a perfected image of a person."
"NOT doing that would be very healthy for a lot of people."
- [Reddit]
Let People Enjoy Things
"What music you DON'T like."
"I don't give a sh*t that Uptown Funk makes you want to have an aneurysm."
"It's nowhere near my Spotify playlist either, but let people enjoy things without having to listen to you act like you're superior for listening to 'real music.' You're not and nobody cares that you're pretentious."
- Gift-Card-Recipient
mark ronson GIF by Bruno Mars
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Procreation
"Having kids."
"My life is not incomplete/complete based on reproductive choices."
"I'm sure having a child is a warm, fuzzy, love greater than you've ever felt moment. But does not mean that my life is less meaningful as yours by choosing not to have kids."
"It's fucking insulting that people assume that everyone should have kids."
- els3823
A Haunting
"Ghosts."
"I lived in a most-likely-haunted house when I was 2. I taught myself ghost safety protocols with the various potentially paranormal activity I encountered and eventually became, well, attached to my maybe-ghosts."
"They kinda helped ease my anxiety when I thought about them and even if they weren't real they were a calming perceived presence."
"Today I'm not as believing in ghosts, but I don't completely deny their existence."
"I've been meaning to go ghost hunting and maybe help spirits go to the afterlife or assist in a similar way but goshdarn diddly dang it covid."
- xXChocoboXx
The Religion Of The West
"Veganism: it’s then new religion of the west where they want to guilt people into things instead of going after corporations doing real damage."
"They don’t have the balls to go after corporations that farm animals in abhorrent conditions. They spam and harass individuals because they know they’d get their asses kicked by a company. It's way easier to shame people over their eating habits."
"People eat crap because of its cheap and it’s a classist issue and because they want convenience and not a salad that costs way more than it’s worth."
"Putting the burden on the individual when our current problems are created by capitalism in excess and production norms is cheap and petty."
"Then there's the other idiots I know who think the only way to 'be a man' is by acting like a Neanderthal on a diet of steaks and beer; forgoing anyway that might look green and healthy."
"That's a pathetic way for someone to asset their identity."
"I am native so we live off our land; we use our animals for meat dairy, we grew up with a with sheepskin beddings, shearling pillows, our rugs were woven of animals skins and furs."
"When we bought meat, we went to the market which was open air. You chose the rabbit, chicken etc and they’d slaughter it and pluck it while you wait. Then you pay then take it home."
"There’s nothing immoral or evil about that."
"That’s how we thrived and lived as communities. I have coats of rabbit fur, which we buy from our tanneries. We use every part of the animal."
"It’s only when I moved to the west that I realized that most people have never set foot inside a farm and can’t tell what’s inside their packaged meals."
"The capitalism system mass produces everything and destroys the industries."
- Carmelita-55
Scott Pilgrim Vegan GIF
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Seriously.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.