It's really simple. When you are in attendance for a couple's wedding... act accordingly, you know, like NOT an idiot. Just because there is an open bar doesn't mean you have to drink it dry. And if you're having issue with the couple and the nuptials in general ask yourself... "Why the hell am I even here?!" This isn't General Hospital. That speak now or forever hold your peace bit is just part of tradition. Nobody takes it seriously, at least nobody is suppose to. It's meant to be a joyful event. keep it that way!
Redditor mortimerza wanted to let everyone know a few proper points of etiquette when at a wedding, so they asked others to admit... What is the worst thing you can do at someones wedding?
Vet your people...
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The girlfriend to one of my groomsmen showed up super late to the reception while wearing a white crop top and hitting on my older bro who was also a groomsmen. Not super trashy but definitely a solid amount of trash. Great wedding though.
This isn't a circus...
Family dog was the ring bearer, The ring bearer took a s*** on the way down the aisle...
Where is your I don't see your name on the list...
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Showing up without RSVPing, showing up in jeans when the invite says formal, showing up 15 minutes late in the middle of the ceremony, letting toddlers run around during the reception and stick their fingers in the cake.
Shut up Kevin Hart...
During the ceremony of my brother's wedding, a drunk uncle on the bride's side thought it was okay to make sexual jokes to the pastor throughout the entire thing. Our side of the family had a melt down when he interrupted the vows with an oral sex/divorce joke.
Who??
At my sister's wedding the best man kept referring to my sister as the groom's ex-wife. That was pretty terrible.
Hello. Rude.
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Steal their thunder by proposing to your SO.
Even when they have permission, it still seems rude as hell. It's THEIR day.
This isn't your moment!
Basically call attention to yourself in any way shape or form. If you go to a wedding and no one remembers you mission accomplished.
We're all flammable.
Set an 8 year old boy on fire.
The story: At my cousin's wedding. Reception is outdoor, under a tent. The Emcee announces that the famous chef Duffy will be presenting his famous "Flaming Chicken" and everyone should give him a big round of applause. Chef Duffy comes running out carrying a sheet pan with brandy soused chicken set on fire. He slips on the dance floor and the chicken flambe falls under the folding chair of a child and rapidly turns into a ball of flame. Bystanders quickly jump into action and put the fire out, and there is no harm to the child. The videographer stayed with the shot and to this day when my cousin and his wife are feeling down, they pop in the wedding tape. Always good for a laugh.
You're still paying for that meal...
RSVP that you will be attending and then don't show up. The couple will still have to pay for you as if you did come, and they probably would have invited someone else if they knew that you were unable to attend.
At my cousins wedding I was stood at a table which was next to the cake table talking to my Nan when a drunk man stumbled past and knocked over the cake (which hadn't been cut at this stage). He disappeared as quick as he could leaving me and my Nan (in her 80's) to try and rescue the cake. Everyone thought it was one of us that knocked it over and it was terrible, so yeah don't get drunk too early and do not go near the cake especially if it has not been cut.
Be in the moment!
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Recently attended a wedding that had three very talented photographers but everybody had their phones up and out taking videos and pictures. Not the worst thing, but just annoying and inconsiderate. It was a beautiful, emotional wedding - look up from your screens and share the moment with the couple damn it!
I used to work at a place that did weddings so have a couple of stories...
We once had the father of the bride come to the bar mid-ceremony for a pint. I had to turn him down as we aren't allowed to serve alcohol during the ceremony.
There was the time (a different) father of the bride got drunk, managed to cover both himself and a toilet cubicle in copious amounts of shit, then blame every other bloke for it.
Seen the odd bit of domestic violence and had to call the police.
We had some reception guests turn up uninvited for the main event. They had super picky dietary requirements - two gluten free vegans, and they got very upset and started complaining that we didn't have enough suitable food for them. We cater for who we are told will be present and guests have to let people know their dietaries beforehand, but we do always keep a bit of extra veggie/vegan stuff on hand for the inevitable. They moaned at least 4 separate members of staff when we were clearly all already running around busy and took up so much time. The manager went over and had a quiet word with the bride who let us know they weren't even supposed to be there, and she threw them out. They left and still came back for the evening reception, despite all of this.
First - let me say I make awful jokes when I'm feeling emotional tension.
My brother got married last weekend and it was very stressful because his dog was dying. She was in the wedding ceremony but the vet said she would need to be put down right after.
He was being married at a campsite and we were helping my mom (who is grumpy and has COPD) up a hill and it was a struggle. It was also so sad for us because she isn't doing so well either.
I looked at him and said "I bet you thought we'd have to put her down before the dog."
This was not funny. No one laughed. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Cue the music...
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Bribe the organist to play a funeral march as the wedding procession comes down the aisle.
Musical Chairs...
Rearrange the seating chart that was worked on for a long time because you weren't happy with it.
5th time is the charm...
If it's their second marriage, saying to one side of the family "Welcome back!"
Third wedding: "Let's hope third time's a charm, right, hahaha, oh who are we kidding?"
Fourth wedding: "Wow, not sure why you even bothered at this point."
- Ask the bride if she broke wind
- Send back the chicken for being undercooked, when it was actually fish
- Declare them as a couple before the groom says "I do"
- Get mad and curse when you're supposed to push the wheelchair of the bride's father, but he starts to walk
- Give a speech when you are only employer of the bride
- In the speech, define wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch
- People Divulge The Rudest Things Someone Can Say During Sex - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Trashiest Wedding They've Ever Been To - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Things They'd Like To Tell Their Partner Without Upsetting Them - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.