Being in a person's living space is one thing when it's a friend or family member; a home connected to someone you have a connection with. It's another when this person is, essentially, a stranger. Working in service jobs often means having to enter people's personal spaces - and coming out with some interesting stories to tell about it.
Reddit user dustofwasps asked:
We try not to judge, I mean - living with a herd of cats in Halloween costumes might not be my thing, but it's clearly someone's jam, right? It's possible a person has tons of cameras on tripods set up around their house for non-nefarious purposes. Maybe there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why a person might need a three-foot tall wax mountain, or store beer cans in their walls...
Or, equally plausible explanation - people are weird, fam. Just weird.
Porn and Pizza
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I was on a ride along with a fire department. We responded to "smell of smoke" in an apartment building. We found the apartment fast enough because the fire alarm was going off inside.
We walked in to find this guy naked as the day he was born passed out on the floor in front of the TV with porn on way louder than it should be and the remnants of a pizza in the oven.
The gentlemen I question was very drunk. There were beer cans all over the kitchen and a bottle of liquor on the floor next to him. To wake him up we actually all left and the fire chief woke him in his daily uniform so the guy didn't see all of us in our gear and think he was being abducted or something.
Cameras
Used to work for a concrete company, and our mixer trucks would sometimes damage property. Typically my partner and I did maintenance on the plants, but we'd get sent to job sites to fix whatever the drivers did.
So while at one house, we had to tear up the driveway, replace the culvert and re-pour the end of the driveway. The first day we were there, all the old snoopy neighbors were standing around watching us, and I had to piss pretty bad. So I asked the homeowner if I could use his bathroom.
He said sure, and led me through his house, past a bathroom, into the bathroom in the master bedroom. Already creeped out by that. Oh, also I noticed cameras all over the place. So this was around 15 years ago. We are talking camcorders on tripods, not your cutetsy nanny cams. Some pointed out windows, some pointed into the rooms. Creep factor leveled up.
He leads me to the bathroom, opens the door and holds it for me, like you would at a store, when someone is behind you. imagine going to a restaurant and there's a group of people with you and you hold the door open for them. I say thanks, he still stands there. I had to walk past him and yank the door closed.
While leaving, I notice a bedroom decked out in kid stuff. This would normally not toss up any flags. Grandkid's room probably.. right? Except old guy was single, and this wasn't a very "kid friendly" set up as far as foster homes go.
Plus with all the added creepiness, it just didn't seem normal at all. Told my partner, he laughed and pointed out there was probably cameras in the bathroom.
If either of us had to piss after that, we drove down to the gas station.
What Plants?
Back in the early 90s, I worked for a company that removed old electric water heaters and replaced them with propane powered water heaters. Because propane water heaters can possibly spew carbon monoxide, there are state regulations as to where the water heaters can and can't be placed, so it was my job to inspect the water heater room and draw up plans for ventilation, if necessary.
I showed up at a client's home to inspect the area where he had his water heater to see if we needed to install any vents. When I asked to see his current water heater, he seemed a little uncomfortable and said, "I have something in the room that I forgot to clean up." I followed him to the room, and when he opened the door, the smell of weed hit me. In the water heater room, he had fishing lines strung up with trimmed plants being dried. If I were to guess, there must have been a couple pounds of weed drying in there.
He said, "Oops, sorry about that." I smiled and told him, "No problem. I don't even know what that is." I knew exactly what it was, but I didn't want the guy to get worried about me telling someone. He offered me some, but I told him, "No thanks. I don't know what that is."
As I was leaving, he asked me, "You aren't going to tell anyone about the plants, are you?" I asked, "What plants?" The guy smiled, then said, "You sure you don't want some?" I definitely wanted some, but I was still pretty new at my job so I didn't want to take the chance that accepting weed from him would blow up in my face. Before I left, I told him, "Make sure you clear that closet before our guys arrive. They might not be happy about the plants I didn't see."
Angry Monkey
Worked as a furniture delivery guy for a rent to own place in Iowa for a couple of years, and I saw some absolutely crazy stuff.
We were delivering a couch to someone and when we arrived there was no answer to our knocking. We called our manager back at the store and explained that no one was home. He tells us to hang out for a minute while he tries getting in touch with the customer. While we're waiting we start hearing this weird sort of screeching sound coming from a detached garage.
We decided to investigate the noise. We turned the corner to the front of the garage and came face to face with the meanest, scariest looking monkey I've ever seen! It was in the garage but they had like this wire fence keeping it inside. The entire garage was it's cage. In the middle of nowhere, Iowa.
I have no idea what type of monkey it was. It was large and very angry.
Candle Mountain
I worked as a delivery driver for a "deliver anything" company in the early 2000s. It was a very novel (but ultimately unsustainable) idea for a business back then. We had a lot of regular weirdos.
One night one of these weirdos ordered about $30 worth of candles... from the dollar store.
This job really brought to the forefront the disconnects that exist in us as consumers. So of course initially I had gotten the wrong kind of candles for the weirdo. He showed me what he wanted at his apartment door.
Luckily the store was literally a couple blocks away so I didn't have to waste much time because I wasn't being paid hourly.
"Come in" was what I was greeted with when I returned which is never something I'm particularly happy about as a delivery person. I see what my rational brain tells me is a pile of laundry on a coffee table in front of a filthy couch. But it's not that. It's a 3 foot tall wax pile.
I had bought candles in jars the first time, and I could definitely see why those would not work for our gentlemen. He needed freestanding candles so he could just plop one down and light it to continue building his wax mountain which was starting to spill onto the floor.
One Full One
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On one occasion we were demolishing a kitchen for a remodel and found, sealed inside the wall, five empty beers and - one full one. We didn't drink it as it was 30+ years old. One of the crew took it home to add to his shelf of antique knickknacks and old bottles.
- Shwasan
Protecting Freedom In Case Of Fire
I used to install smoke alarms for the hearing impaired (50% elderly and 50% deaf) all over the state of Oklahoma. I would get addresses for the installations the week before and plan routes accordingly, meaning i would just put the addresses into google and check out the earth/map views. This place I'm thinking of was in the middle of nowhere, which is saying something considering that the entire state of Oklahoma is in the middle of nowhere.
When my ASL interpreter and I made the trip, we had to ramp our minivan over a nearly washed out bridge, bounce down a forest road, and choose which of three broken down trailers these people were using as shelter. Looking back, we really should have just called it before ramping the bridge.
Once there, we met the people and they explained (in ASL through my interpreter) that they had a tornado rip through their home that ended up sparking a fire somehow; that explanation never made it through translation.
Since then, they had decided to be more fire safety conscious - which I applaud - but their home had holes in the roof the size of people. One wall was just a tapestry of duct taped trash bags. I didn't feel right just installing fancy smoke alarms when they clearly needed much more help... but there wasn't anything I could do.
So I'm doing the only thing I can do, installing smoke alarms, explaining basic fire safety, teaching them to use their bed shaking devices (these folks were deaf.) Then I start to explain that they should exit the home without stopping to grab anything including pets, they stopped me and explained that their pet is very valuable.
I thought they meant emotionally, like the pet was seen as a member of the family. But no; they meant valuable as in it had a monetary value.
I'm not one to pry, so I took this at face value and reiterated the importance of leaving the home immediately if it is on fire, especially because it's a trailer home. They had a long, silent conversation with my interpreter during which she looked more and more concerned.
The occupants go into a room I hadn't yet entered and emerge with a f*cking bald eagle on a leash.
That's illegal.
- Aiged
Go Granny Go
Not exactly weird but cool. Knocked on the door and didn't get a response. The door was unlocked so I let myself in to find a 90 yr old woman in her dressing gown head banging to Led Zeppelin.
- Claited
The Archway
I was on hurricane relief in the mountains of New York. We had to go and supply water to this guy whose house was deep in the woods. His property was surrounded by trees, and hanging from those trees were a bunch of black baby dolls from nooses. There was a wooden archway as you approached his house that said "Arbeit mach frei" which means "work sets you free."
That was on the entrance to Auschwitz.
Cats In Costumes
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Years ago I drove a tow truck at nights putting myself through college. Got a call to go get this woman's car. I pull up and she's in the car and won't get out. I ask her ma'am to please get out so I can safely tow your vehicle without you in it.
She said "That's never going to happen."
I explain that it's an insurance violation for me to let you ride in your car. She refuses to get out. It's late so I said screw it..."Ma'am can you please move to the passenger seat so I can put your car in neutral and steer it up on the flatbed."
She complies. I get in the car and she says "I can't leave them alone in here."
"Who?" I turn around and there are, no joke, 30+ cats in the back of this old station wagon. Every single one of them is in some sort of Halloween costume. The car smelled worse than anything I've ever encountered in my life.
I guess this counts as the weirdest thing I've seen in a "home" since the crazy cat lady was living in her car.
- sl0601
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.