Being accused of things you didn't do is annoying and can be infuriating even in the best of situations. Sometimes, though, the thing you're accused of is so ridiculous that you can't even be mad.
For example, I had a group of friends I would chat with online. One day, the elderly father of one of those friends got a phone call from Florida saying the friend was in trouble and needed bail money.
Dad knew it was a scam because he had heard about it on the news and just spoken to his son. Dad brushed it off, but did tell son about it. Son mentioned it to a few of those friends.
One of them decided that *I* must have been behind the scam since I live in Florida - along with like 18.5 million other people, but that's not the point. As far as this person was concerned, it was totally me who tried to scam an old man (who I didn't even know was alive and would have no way to contact) out of some money.
Amazingly they managed to convince a few other people that I was a nefarious phone scammer, too. Extra amazingly, that's not even the strangest thing I've been accused of. Let's not even talk about the Nigerian Illuminati incident...
Reddit user Memerdreemurr_Unrl asked:
What's the weirdest thing you've been falsely accused of?
The responses honestly made us laugh pretty hard in most cases. Some were sad since you can tell mental illness played a roll. All of them were outright odd.
Drug-Free Brownies
A long time ago: In exchange for housing, I took care of my best friend's 2 y/o niece and 3 y/o nephew. One day, their insane mom showed up and insisted that I'd given her children pot brownies - not regular brownies - since they were running all over the place (like children sometimes do.) She even called the cops on me, who confirmed that I gave the kids normal, drug-free brownies. She was admitted to a mental hospital not long after. It was so dramatic.
I took care of them for about another 3 years after (until someone else was awarded custody) and still travel back home to see them when I can. Their mom never showed up again - it's been 7 years now. I also lost both parents to mental issues, no way I could just duck out.
- M31K_
You Can't Fit A Dumpster In An Impala
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My boyfriend got pulled over by the police in his super tiny Impala car, because apparently some shop owner accused him of trying to steal a whole dumpster with said vehicle.
We Can't Afford A Coke Habit
Doing drugs every morning before work.
It's called coffee people, I work at the same low paying company as you all. None of us could afford that coke habit.
- Majik9
That's Not How Alcoholism Works
Freshman year of college I had a super sheltered roommate. One Friday, I illegally bought a bottle of vodka, had a shot, thought it was gross, and put it in the freezer. Never drank again the rest of the semester. She accused me of being an alcoholic a month later.
She was ungodly stupid. If I were an alcoholic that bottle of vodka wouldn't have stayed there the entire semester, practically full. She opened the freezer a lot for food, the alcohol was always at the same level. It's unlikely she thought I was replacing the bottle. Unless she thought I drank an entire bottle a day.
Hill Letters
Some places in the US have big white letters on the side of the hill to signify the name of the town, the name of local schools, etc. I grew up in between 2 towns like this.
Both of the "hill letter" towns were "cross town rivals" and were always playing (lame) pranks on each other. One time, a bunch of kids from my school went up to the rivals letter and changed it around to their letter. It required hiking up a large hill and rearranging boulders for hours. A couple of the kids were football players and there were about 6 kids doing the work.
Because my car was seen in town, I was accused of doing it. Just me. I wouldn't have even climbed up the hill, let alone spent hours lifting rocks plus this was a task that was literally impossible for a single person.
There are still people that remember it happening and ask if it was me.
- Gekokujo
Rewards Program Identity Theft
I have to ask every customer if they'd like to join our rewards program. It's the retail equivalent of "would you like fries with that?" To complete the enrollment I need a phone number and an email address.
Being accused of trying to steal someone's identity to sell it to the Russians (or some equally paranoid rant) is a dramatic event that happens a handful of times per year.
One lady went on a fifteen minute rampage about how she doesn't trust anyone with her phone number because banking can be done over the phone and she never knows when she'll be tapped, etc. Then she has the nerve to go off on me because she's not getting any reward coupons...
Once in a while I'll drop the hint that they can, in fact, give me a fake number or email and I'll never know, and they look at me dumbfounded like someone just told them Santa Claus isn't real.
Rural Chinese Stairs
I was staying at my girlfriends hometown in rural China.
Little old lady fell up stairs and she started accusing me of pushing her... I was a good 10 meters away. A security guard saw what happened and he told me to just ignore her and walk away.
I Don't Work Here
Being late for work/skipping out on work by not being in uniform (this was at a grocery store.)
It started with a foreign employee yelling at me in broken English as I entered the store. I understood about 1/3 of what she was saying and tried explaining (in vain) that I didn't work there. Later, when I was doing my shopping she came back and started yelling at me again and started trying to pull me towards the employee area. Luckily I was bigger and stronger so I stood my ground and yelled for help.
Another employee who spoke better English and could communicate with her arrived and I yelled at him about his crazy coworker. The store owner was called in and gave me a gift card for my troubles and a lot of harsh words for the female employee.
I saw the new employee I was presumably mistaken for a few weeks later. I have to admit, we were very similar except for our height, weight, skin tone, hair color, facial hair and race. Anyone could've gotten us mixed up.
Terrorism
Another student in elementary school once accused me of "terrorism" by claiming I blinded her with a so called "weapon I snuck into school."
It was a little light for a diary that would reveal UV ink; I forgot it was in my pocket and took it to school accidentally. I pulled it out because the light was on and this girl across hall starts flailing and saying that I blinded her. I lost recess for a week even though it was just a light, they called it "directed aggression" or something.
Making It In New York
I had just moved to New York for a job at a mid-size company.
One of my co-workers threw a house party to welcome me and another woman who also just started. (I didn't really know this other woman, she worked in a different department and we only talked once during a benefits orientation thing.) It was a Friday night, and I stayed and partied into the next morning, while the other woman left around 10:30PM or so.
Next Monday morning at work, that woman messages me and says she needs to talk to me immediately. We go to the empty break room downstairs and she is furious. She's doing the red-face/angry crying thing.
"I heard you were talking about me after I left. You were telling everyone that there is no way I can make it in New York. How dare you talk about me behind my back. F*ck. You. I hate drama and I will not let you get me involved in it." (I don't think I'm explaining this well enough, she had veins popping out of her neck, she looked like she wanted to fight me.)
I'm absolutely shocked and confused and I'm looking around the room like that John Travolta GIF.
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"Are you sure it was me? I have no opinion on your ability to live in New York. I hardly even know your name, to be honest."
That pissed her off more, she cusses at me a bit more, and threatens to report me to HR if I don't stop talking about her behind her back.
The situation kinda worked itself out because it turned out she couldn't in fact "make it" in New York and quit about a week and a half later.
I ended up being good friends with the people who were at the original house party and I asked them about that night, if anyone was talking about her after she left. They all swear that her name was never mentioned and she just made the whole thing up. Friggin crazy.
Gang Banger
Being a "gang banger" at my old job. What actually happened was a coworker that didn't like me found a box cutter in the staff bathroom. This coworker took it to our department head and said it was definitely mine and she knew that because I was a gang member. Spoiler alert: it wasn't my box cutter. It was the maintenance guy's.
"It's A Shank!"
When I was 13 years old, my friends sister got in an argument with a old lady in McDonald's. My friends 9 year old brother had climbed over the booth to get to his seat, as kids sometimes do. The lady yelled at us that we all belong in a zoo and then called the cops.
The police showed up and accused me of being a local gangbanger with the moniker "Lil Joker."
This wasn't even in my city. I'm definitely not a gangbanger and I have no idea who "Lil Joker" is. The fact that I wasn't from that city wasn't enough for the cops. They then searched our car and came out with a small phillips head screw driver. When I say small i mean TINY. It was the ones used for tightening the screws on a pair of glasses.
The cops came out aggressively shouting "What is this?!?!?" We told them it was a screw driver.
"Its a shank!" was their response. All in all a pretty ridiculous interaction with the police when I was a kid.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.