What do you do when your sister and her boyfriend accuse your fiance of stealing their wedding proposal, when their plan was a secret? This is what happened to OP, and a war has ensued on social media between the two sisters, and their family has been ripped apart.
koumorinobi needs some advice on how to handle her sister.
The Original Poster Broke Down The Players
My fiance: Charlie
My sister: Kendall
Kendall's boyfriend: Jack
BACKGROUND INFO
Charlie and I have been together for six years and have lived together for three years. We met in college. Our relationship is awesome. I love him more than anything and I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We're best friends, we make a great team, and we're really happy together. So no problems there.
Kendall and I have always been close. We've had normal sisterly arguments and whatnot, but I love her and she's family. I don't really know Jack that well, but he seemed like a nice guy (which obviously isn't the case), and we've all gotten along until now.
Kendall and Jack have been together for two years. Their relationship is rocky; Kendall has called me countless times because of fights, breakups, and drama. I've always been her shoulder to cry on and I've supported her through everything as best I can.
She has gotten jealous of my relationship with Charlie, saying things like she wishes she could have a "perfect" relationship like ours and she wishes she could have that connection with Jack. Recently (within the last two months), she's started saying things like "I should just steal Charlie from you" and "I wish Jack was more like Charlie, I think Charlie and I would be a great match." She started flirting with Charlie (which made him super uncomfortable) and overstepped boundaries. I was uncomfortable and upset with her behavior, we had a serious talk and she broke down. She told me she was going through a rough patch with Jack and wasn't handling it well. She apologized (to me and to Charlie) and told me she knew what she did was wrong, it wouldn't happen again, etc. Charlie and I talked about it and we decided to forgive her.
At the time of the incident, Jack and Kendall were still going through a rough patch.
And Here's Where It Goes To Pot
THE INCIDENT
Two weeks ago, Charlie invited close friends and family to dinner (this included Jack and Kendall). It was at the restaurant Charlie and I had our first date, down to the exact table we sat at. We had talked about marriage (at great length), so I had a feeling.
Lo and behold, Charlie proposed to me. It was perfect, I was so happy. I cried like a baby, lol.
Our family and friends congratulated us. Kendall seemed super excited. She gushed about how cute it was, started talking about the wedding, and hugged us both.
The only person who didn't seem happy for us was Jack. He told Kendall that he wanted to go home and they left early.
Fast forward a few days. Kendall texted me and she was pissed. She called me "a dirty traitor" and "a disgusting c*nt." I was like wtf??? I asked her why she was upset. She claimed I was trying to ruin her relationship and then stopped replying to my texts.
I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner. At first, I felt bad because maybe he had planned something beforehand and maybe it was just a huge misunderstanding. But apparently, Jack wasn't even planning to propose to Kendall until we got to the restaurant. He saw how nice the restaurant was, our friends and family were there, and decided "hey, this is perfect." He thought it would help them out of their rough patch (which is a horrible idea because marriage doesn't magically fix relationships), but then Charlie proposed and "stole his thunder." He didn't even have a ring!
Charlie had been planning that proposal for months. He's had the ring for six months, made the reservations two months beforehand, invited all of our family and friends. Even the staff of the restaurant was in on the proposal! He put a lot of thought into it and I don't think Jack's heat of the moment decision to propose is more important than Charlie's carefully planned proposal. I'm actually upset that Jack would make something this special and important into something dramatic and all about him.
I didn't apologize. Charlie and I talked about it, he agrees and doesn't think we should apologize.
And The Fallout
THE AFTERMATH
Since then, Kendall and Jack haven't talked to us. Which is fine by itself, but that's not the end of it. Both of them have been shaming us on social media, twisting the story to make themselves look like victims, and have even coined us "The Proposal Thieves."
Mutual friends (and even some family!) are disgusted with us. They believe Jack and Kendall's story, even after I've tried to explain what really happened. As funny as it is to be called The Proposal Thieves, it's not so funny to have friends and family turned against you. I'm really upset that my own sister would do this.
Charlie has been super supportive and sweet through this mess. We both agree that we shouldn't apologize and have been standing our ground.
Honestly, after everything Kendall has done, I'm pretty much fed up with her. She's my sister and I love her, but after she tried to seduce my boyfriend and now this, I don't really have a desire to talk to her anymore. Which sucks, because we've always been close. I think Jack has turned her into this horrible, self-absorbed person and it's just.. ugh.
Btw, I'm not talking to Kendall right now and have no plans to talk to her until we receive a sincere apology. Even then, I think I might limit contact if she stays with Jack.
What do you think, Reddit? What should we do? How should we handle this? Advice/perspective/anything???
TL;DR: Sister and bf are upset that we "upstaged them." Spreading lies on social media. Everything is a mess, please help?
Fight back with the truth.
Giphy
I feel like Charlie should post something to the effect of "After 6 wonderful years together, I asked koumorinobi and all her friends and family to the restaurant where we had our very first date, and there, at the very table where we sat 6 years ago, I asked her to be my wife. A special thanks to the amazing waitstaff at the restaurant for helping me plan my perfect proposal! I couldn't be happier,"
this outlines that it was HIS proposal, and HIS planning and nips all other proposal thievery nonsense in the bud.
Also, congratulations, you two sound like an amazing team!
And block Kendall (sister) and Jack (Kendalls' boyfriend).
Giphy
Also, block Jack/Kendall from being able to post on your or Charlie's post/wall. Don't engage in any online argument, just post the truth and move on.
Reevaluate those "mutual friends" you have if they continue to be horrible.
Sounds like Jack may be feeling a little insecure?
Giphy
I will now re-enact for you what happened after they left the dinner.
Kendall (either in real life, or in Jack's imagination): "Wow, isn't it great that Charlie proposed! I want to have a marriage like that"
Jack realizes that the pressure is now on. Jack does not want to deal with the pressure. Jack does not want this fight or this problem. He wants to avoid the marriage convo entirely.
Jack: "Well..I was going to! They RUINED it. Now I can't possibly propose to you, and it's because of OTHER PEOPLE!" (aaand internal sigh of relief for Jack).
Don't apologize, give them time to cool down, and maybe when your sister is being more reasonable, suggest she talk to Jack about that incoming proposal she's so excited about...you know, the one that's totally happening. Uh huh.
Who decides to propose on a whim?
Giphy
I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner.
BULL. SH*T. No way do I believe that he was going to propose that night. After all of their problems? Crikey.
Go no contact with Kendall for the foreseeable future. Try one more time with the really important people to clarify what happened, if they are feeding into the drama, they also go to the curb with the rest of the trash. Ignore all of them unless they come to you with a sincere apology. And don't invite those f*ckers to the wedding. Not even Kendall, unless she apologizes. She sounds like a piece of work.
Who calls their sister the c-word?
Giphy
"a disgusting c*nt."
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble getting past this. Is this really the way your sister speaks to you?
Get the truth out there.
Giphy
This is why I don't recommend that people "take the high road" and not tell their side of the story. 9/10 times it lets the crazy person put out their story and people tend to believe the first story they are told. Write about how wonderful your proposal was and how much Charlie planned it and how happy your sister was. Then mention how baffled you are that people are accusing you and your fiance of stealing a proposal from a guy with no plan and no ring, and how sad you are at the number of people who are so eager to believe the worst about you two without getting your side of the story. If anyone brings it up to you afterward point out how nice it is to see the true character of certain people before inviting someone to be in the bridal party or to the wedding. Have your parents say something similar and how sad it is that Kendall is spreading lies about you instead of being happy and how much that hurts a mother's heart, etc.
On that note, under no circumstances have your sister in your wedding party.
How is this situation even real?
Giphy
This reminds me of The Office, when Jim planned an expensive proposal under the fireworks for Pam, and Andy stole his thunder. Except in this case, "Jim" actually got to propose.
Sounds to me like Kendall and Jack had an argument after dinner about their relationship and maybe Kendall compared it to yours. So Jack claimed he was going to propose that night in an attempt at damage control and threw Charlie under the bus in the meantime. What an asshole.
Also if he really did decide to do it last minute, how the fuck was Charlie supposed to know that?! Is Kendall that dimwitted?
Doesn't seem like Jack had really planned anything.
Giphy
Does Kendall understand that Charlie invited everyone and coordinated dinner? If Jack were planning to propose, I would have thought he would be spearheading the dinner. And, you know, have a ring.
It sounds like Jack is feeding Kendall this story to get some heat off himself.
Perhaps it would be worth it to sit down with Jack and Kendall to clarify the situation and request that they set the record straight with friends and family. If they refuse, do it yourself on social media (gracefully), then block Kendall and Jack, go no contact, and enjoy your engagement.
Don't apologize, you deserve an apology.
Giphy
I wouldn't apologize, and I would unfollow them on social media. I'd also cut contact until they apologize to both of you. I'm baffled at how they think you stole their thunder at an event that your fiancé had been planning for months and invited everyone to. How does Jack spin that in his favor?
Also, The Proposal Thieves would make a good band name.
Now you know whom to not invite to the wedding.
Giphy
At least you found out everyone's true and immature colors before the invites go out. As a 7 month newlywed, trust me, you don't want to ANYONE there whom will cause you grief. Our wedding was magical because of our decision not to include certain humans simply because we share blood. Your fiancé has your back and that's all that matters. Congratulations xox
Why not post your side of the story?
Giphy
Go online and put ONE post up, simple, straightforward, and honest, about your side of the story. How this was a planned proposal and was set up in advance. Say you are very disappointed how so many people are attacking you on what should be a happy day, and you thought better of them than to believe a skewed version of the story.
Or however you want to put it. But if you really want to solve your social media problem you need to put down ONE posting where you take the high road, then don't address it again.
Kendall should beg for forgiveness.
Giphy
This is the biggest bullsh*t I've ever read (not as in I think it's fake, but just how ridiculous these people are acting). How in the hell can you be a "proposal thief" if 1) you came up with the idea first and; 2) you weren't told about someone else planning a proposal?
Those text messages your sister sent are insane. She's acting as if you overheard her boyfriend talking about asking for her hand in marriage (which he didn't since he kept the idea to himself), and then ran over to your boyfriend to say, "Quick! Ask me to marry you before Jack does!" Like, where is the logic in any of this?
I'm sorry you're related to such a psycho.
You need to get your story out there ASAP. Don't let her continue to feed them lies. Tell them exactly what you told us about how he hadn't even thought of the idea until he stepped foot into the door and how the whole get-together was with the intention of your boyfriend proposing to you.
And then, don't speak to your sister until she apologizes or literally begs on her hands and knees for your forgiveness, because who even does this sh*t?
Ignore the drama.
Giphy
You and Charlie are in the right, stand your ground and enjoy your moment. Congrats on the engagement and don't waste time or energy on drama.
People just aren't buying it.
He had no plan to propose. Kendall got jealous and he lied to make her happy. She's an idiot. Ignore them.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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