Wedding Proposal Exposes A Younger Sister's Jealous Dark Side, Launches A Social Media War
What do you do when your sister and her boyfriend accuse your fiance of stealing their wedding proposal, when their plan was a secret? This is what happened to OP, and a war has ensued on social media between the two sisters, and their family has been ripped apart.
koumorinobi needs some advice on how to handle her sister.
The Original Poster Broke Down The Players
My fiance: Charlie
My sister: Kendall
Kendall's boyfriend: Jack
Charlie and I have been together for six years and have lived together for three years. We met in college. Our relationship is awesome. I love him more than anything and I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We're best friends, we make a great team, and we're really happy together. So no problems there.
Kendall and I have always been close. We've had normal sisterly arguments and whatnot, but I love her and she's family. I don't really know Jack that well, but he seemed like a nice guy (which obviously isn't the case), and we've all gotten along until now.
Kendall and Jack have been together for two years. Their relationship is rocky; Kendall has called me countless times because of fights, breakups, and drama. I've always been her shoulder to cry on and I've supported her through everything as best I can.
She has gotten jealous of my relationship with Charlie, saying things like she wishes she could have a "perfect" relationship like ours and she wishes she could have that connection with Jack. Recently (within the last two months), she's started saying things like "I should just steal Charlie from you" and "I wish Jack was more like Charlie, I think Charlie and I would be a great match." She started flirting with Charlie (which made him super uncomfortable) and overstepped boundaries. I was uncomfortable and upset with her behavior, we had a serious talk and she broke down. She told me she was going through a rough patch with Jack and wasn't handling it well. She apologized (to me and to Charlie) and told me she knew what she did was wrong, it wouldn't happen again, etc. Charlie and I talked about it and we decided to forgive her.
At the time of the incident, Jack and Kendall were still going through a rough patch.
And Here's Where It Goes To Pot
Two weeks ago, Charlie invited close friends and family to dinner (this included Jack and Kendall). It was at the restaurant Charlie and I had our first date, down to the exact table we sat at. We had talked about marriage (at great length), so I had a feeling.
Lo and behold, Charlie proposed to me. It was perfect, I was so happy. I cried like a baby, lol.
Our family and friends congratulated us. Kendall seemed super excited. She gushed about how cute it was, started talking about the wedding, and hugged us both.
The only person who didn't seem happy for us was Jack. He told Kendall that he wanted to go home and they left early.
Fast forward a few days. Kendall texted me and she was pissed. She called me "a dirty traitor" and "a disgusting c*nt." I was like wtf??? I asked her why she was upset. She claimed I was trying to ruin her relationship and then stopped replying to my texts.
I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner. At first, I felt bad because maybe he had planned something beforehand and maybe it was just a huge misunderstanding. But apparently, Jack wasn't even planning to propose to Kendall until we got to the restaurant. He saw how nice the restaurant was, our friends and family were there, and decided "hey, this is perfect." He thought it would help them out of their rough patch (which is a horrible idea because marriage doesn't magically fix relationships), but then Charlie proposed and "stole his thunder." He didn't even have a ring!
Charlie had been planning that proposal for months. He's had the ring for six months, made the reservations two months beforehand, invited all of our family and friends. Even the staff of the restaurant was in on the proposal! He put a lot of thought into it and I don't think Jack's heat of the moment decision to propose is more important than Charlie's carefully planned proposal. I'm actually upset that Jack would make something this special and important into something dramatic and all about him.
I didn't apologize. Charlie and I talked about it, he agrees and doesn't think we should apologize.
And The Fallout
Since then, Kendall and Jack haven't talked to us. Which is fine by itself, but that's not the end of it. Both of them have been shaming us on social media, twisting the story to make themselves look like victims, and have even coined us "The Proposal Thieves."
Mutual friends (and even some family!) are disgusted with us. They believe Jack and Kendall's story, even after I've tried to explain what really happened. As funny as it is to be called The Proposal Thieves, it's not so funny to have friends and family turned against you. I'm really upset that my own sister would do this.
Charlie has been super supportive and sweet through this mess. We both agree that we shouldn't apologize and have been standing our ground.
Honestly, after everything Kendall has done, I'm pretty much fed up with her. She's my sister and I love her, but after she tried to seduce my boyfriend and now this, I don't really have a desire to talk to her anymore. Which sucks, because we've always been close. I think Jack has turned her into this horrible, self-absorbed person and it's just.. ugh.
Btw, I'm not talking to Kendall right now and have no plans to talk to her until we receive a sincere apology. Even then, I think I might limit contact if she stays with Jack.
What do you think, Reddit? What should we do? How should we handle this? Advice/perspective/anything???
TL;DR: Sister and bf are upset that we "upstaged them." Spreading lies on social media. Everything is a mess, please help?
Fight back with the truth.Giphy
I feel like Charlie should post something to the effect of "After 6 wonderful years together, I asked koumorinobi and all her friends and family to the restaurant where we had our very first date, and there, at the very table where we sat 6 years ago, I asked her to be my wife. A special thanks to the amazing waitstaff at the restaurant for helping me plan my perfect proposal! I couldn't be happier,"
this outlines that it was HIS proposal, and HIS planning and nips all other proposal thievery nonsense in the bud.
Also, congratulations, you two sound like an amazing team!
And block Kendall (sister) and Jack (Kendalls' boyfriend).Giphy
Also, block Jack/Kendall from being able to post on your or Charlie's post/wall. Don't engage in any online argument, just post the truth and move on.
Reevaluate those "mutual friends" you have if they continue to be horrible.
Sounds like Jack may be feeling a little insecure?Giphy
I will now re-enact for you what happened after they left the dinner.
Kendall (either in real life, or in Jack's imagination): "Wow, isn't it great that Charlie proposed! I want to have a marriage like that"
Jack realizes that the pressure is now on. Jack does not want to deal with the pressure. Jack does not want this fight or this problem. He wants to avoid the marriage convo entirely.
Jack: "Well..I was going to! They RUINED it. Now I can't possibly propose to you, and it's because of OTHER PEOPLE!" (aaand internal sigh of relief for Jack).
Don't apologize, give them time to cool down, and maybe when your sister is being more reasonable, suggest she talk to Jack about that incoming proposal she's so excited about...you know, the one that's totally happening. Uh huh.
Who decides to propose on a whim?Giphy
I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner.
BULL. SH*T. No way do I believe that he was going to propose that night. After all of their problems? Crikey.
Go no contact with Kendall for the foreseeable future. Try one more time with the really important people to clarify what happened, if they are feeding into the drama, they also go to the curb with the rest of the trash. Ignore all of them unless they come to you with a sincere apology. And don't invite those f*ckers to the wedding. Not even Kendall, unless she apologizes. She sounds like a piece of work.
Who calls their sister the c-word?Giphy
"a disgusting c*nt."
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble getting past this. Is this really the way your sister speaks to you?
Get the truth out there.Giphy
This is why I don't recommend that people "take the high road" and not tell their side of the story. 9/10 times it lets the crazy person put out their story and people tend to believe the first story they are told. Write about how wonderful your proposal was and how much Charlie planned it and how happy your sister was. Then mention how baffled you are that people are accusing you and your fiance of stealing a proposal from a guy with no plan and no ring, and how sad you are at the number of people who are so eager to believe the worst about you two without getting your side of the story. If anyone brings it up to you afterward point out how nice it is to see the true character of certain people before inviting someone to be in the bridal party or to the wedding. Have your parents say something similar and how sad it is that Kendall is spreading lies about you instead of being happy and how much that hurts a mother's heart, etc.
On that note, under no circumstances have your sister in your wedding party.
How is this situation even real?Giphy
This reminds me of The Office, when Jim planned an expensive proposal under the fireworks for Pam, and Andy stole his thunder. Except in this case, "Jim" actually got to propose.
Sounds to me like Kendall and Jack had an argument after dinner about their relationship and maybe Kendall compared it to yours. So Jack claimed he was going to propose that night in an attempt at damage control and threw Charlie under the bus in the meantime. What an asshole.
Also if he really did decide to do it last minute, how the fuck was Charlie supposed to know that?! Is Kendall that dimwitted?
Doesn't seem like Jack had really planned anything.Giphy
Does Kendall understand that Charlie invited everyone and coordinated dinner? If Jack were planning to propose, I would have thought he would be spearheading the dinner. And, you know, have a ring.
It sounds like Jack is feeding Kendall this story to get some heat off himself.
Perhaps it would be worth it to sit down with Jack and Kendall to clarify the situation and request that they set the record straight with friends and family. If they refuse, do it yourself on social media (gracefully), then block Kendall and Jack, go no contact, and enjoy your engagement.
Don't apologize, you deserve an apology.Giphy
I wouldn't apologize, and I would unfollow them on social media. I'd also cut contact until they apologize to both of you. I'm baffled at how they think you stole their thunder at an event that your fiancé had been planning for months and invited everyone to. How does Jack spin that in his favor?
Also, The Proposal Thieves would make a good band name.
Now you know whom to not invite to the wedding.Giphy
At least you found out everyone's true and immature colors before the invites go out. As a 7 month newlywed, trust me, you don't want to ANYONE there whom will cause you grief. Our wedding was magical because of our decision not to include certain humans simply because we share blood. Your fiancé has your back and that's all that matters. Congratulations xox
Why not post your side of the story?Giphy
Go online and put ONE post up, simple, straightforward, and honest, about your side of the story. How this was a planned proposal and was set up in advance. Say you are very disappointed how so many people are attacking you on what should be a happy day, and you thought better of them than to believe a skewed version of the story.
Or however you want to put it. But if you really want to solve your social media problem you need to put down ONE posting where you take the high road, then don't address it again.
Kendall should beg for forgiveness.Giphy
This is the biggest bullsh*t I've ever read (not as in I think it's fake, but just how ridiculous these people are acting). How in the hell can you be a "proposal thief" if 1) you came up with the idea first and; 2) you weren't told about someone else planning a proposal?
Those text messages your sister sent are insane. She's acting as if you overheard her boyfriend talking about asking for her hand in marriage (which he didn't since he kept the idea to himself), and then ran over to your boyfriend to say, "Quick! Ask me to marry you before Jack does!" Like, where is the logic in any of this?
I'm sorry you're related to such a psycho.
You need to get your story out there ASAP. Don't let her continue to feed them lies. Tell them exactly what you told us about how he hadn't even thought of the idea until he stepped foot into the door and how the whole get-together was with the intention of your boyfriend proposing to you.
And then, don't speak to your sister until she apologizes or literally begs on her hands and knees for your forgiveness, because who even does this sh*t?
And yet, still no proposal by Jack.Giphy
So, has Jack proposed to Kendall yet? No? Lol
Ignore the drama.Giphy
You and Charlie are in the right, stand your ground and enjoy your moment. Congrats on the engagement and don't waste time or energy on drama.
People just aren't buying it.
He had no plan to propose. Kendall got jealous and he lied to make her happy. She's an idiot. Ignore them.
People Break Down The Most Beautiful Places To Visit In The United States
America the beautiful.
So much to see. So much to experience.
Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.
There are many vacations to put together.
And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.
Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.
Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:
"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"
So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.
The Fallsniagara falls GIFGiphy
"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."
"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."
"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."
"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."
"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."
"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."
"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."
The Road Ahead
"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."
"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."
On a Clear DayMountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy
"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."
Mountains are hot. That is all.
See the CountryHappy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy
"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."
"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."
"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."
"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."
Smell the old growth
"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."
"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"
"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."
"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."
AmazingEpisode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."
All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.
What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.
Humans really know how to waste a buck... or millions.
We spend so much on superfluous items it's ridiculous.
Do we need ten of these?
Gym memberships can be hundreds of dollars a month yet there are DVDs and apps that show you cheaper ways to do it from home.
Life doesn't have to cost this much.
Redditor bluscorp91 wanted to hear about the things we really need to financially evaluate, so they asked:
"Which everyday item do people waste too much money on?"
I waste on takeout. I can't help it. I'm me.
Go to the FountainScared 30 Rock GIF by HULUGiphy
"If you have safe tap water witch most people in Europe, Australia, and US/Canada has you can save thousands on water. One gallon costs under a dollar from the tap, and one gallon from the store will cost 5 dollars or more."
Tea at Home
"What I don’t get is how people have TIME for that in the morning."
"There’s a coffee stand place by me that consistently has a huge line that sometimes blocks traffic. The few times I have been there on days off I have waited over 20 mins and that wasn’t even during rush hour."
"Like who has time to spend 20-40 mins before work in line getting coffee?!?"
"The skins are cool as sh*t, I'll admit it, but damn, $20 per skin? People are out here claiming it's fine because it's a free game, but $20 per skin means if you have 3 skins, you could've gotten a completely different game all together. And most kids have hundreds of skins. My coworkers son spends all of his allowance, Christmas, and birthday money on Fortnite skins."
"He's claimed that his son has spent over $1200 on Fortnite. That's f**king insane."
"My buddies are full grown men and they buy like one skin ever 4-5 days, it's crazy. They spend anywhere from $80-$120 a month on Fortnite. I literally don't understand at all. It's an entire bill to pay every month. I play it with them from time to time and only have like three skins. I still feel like I spent too much on that."
"Cars. I don't know how so many people can afford the mortgage on cars that cost twice the average annual salary around here. And they are legion."
"If you want to save money, you drive a 10+ year old beater. It is paid for, you will have to repair it every year for a couple of hundred bucks, but the cost per mile is a fraction of that for a new Polestar 2 or Volvo XC60."
"I'm guessing I am seeing the caste that lucked out on the housing market."
For GoodMothers Day Netflix GIF by Grace and FrankieGiphy
"10 bucks a month is worth it."
"Netflix prime Hulu, Appletv, Disney+ and all that crap that we can just find free on the internet free. Hell no I'm not paying for 100 different subscription services."
There are way too many options. YouTube is cheaper.
MOOOO!!!Stone Cold Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy
"My Family spends A LOT of money on milk, since my entire family drink like 2 bottles a day total. Not with coffee or anything, just plain milk."
All that milk... I hope they change the flavors.
Last CallHappy Hour Drinking GIFGiphy
"Buying alcohol at the bars. Seriously, downtown Chicago, 'Can I please have 2 rum & cokes and a Bud Light?'"
"'Ok that will be $35.'"
"Forget that mess."
A Communication Must
"I'm going to disagree since you left your reply so basic. Now if you buy the newest phone at launch, and repeat that every new release, yes that is wasteful. I bought a 1 year old model 4 years ago and it's still fine. If it turned into a brick tonight, I would drop like $800 on a 1 year old model and be good for several more years. That isn't wasteful."
Need a Roof
"If our economy wasn't trash right now, I'd say buy your own place. I rented for 3 months then bought... renting is like flushing your money and any potential home equity (God I hate that word these days) down the toilet."
"It’s too expensive but unless you’re living outside your means the money is not wasted. Shelter is pretty important, it’s right up there with food and water."
Clean UpToilet Paper Poop GIF by Paper PooGiphy
"Toilet paper. Wash your butt with water, and you can save tons of toilet paper."
"Never could understand what it is with toilets with nowhere to wash, and walking around with chocolate caked holes."
Next Day Problems
"Surprised no one else has said this. Throwing away left over food instead of eating it later. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and it's appalling the amount of food that gets thrown away that would be perfectly fine the next day. I constantly pack my leftovers and eat them for lunch."
We really need to evaluate our spending.
People Explain Which Things They Couldn't Live Without Once They Tried Them
They say ignorance is bliss, and there is truth to that statement.
Whether it involves trying a new fashion fad, type of food, or starting a new activity that spikes your endorphins, it's to go back to the way things were prior to experiencing them.
It's like opening Pandora's Box. The joy of discovery is exciting, but it also has the potential to consume you.
Curious to hear from strangers online who were unable to get the toothpaste back into the tube, Redditor Kapuishon88 asked:
"What’s something you can’t live without once you’ve tried it?"
Computer-related activity is addictive.
"Started in 1983 before I had reliable memories of anything. It's been a daily obsession since then."
"Original Zelda. Level 1. 32 years ago. Resistance was futile."
Opening Up The Periphery
"A second monitor."
The following involve the things that make life easier.
"For me it’s noise canceling headphones."
"A decent income."
Preference For The Dark
"Blackout curtains for me. The noise-cancelling headphones of light."
"Quality underwear / socks."
It's a hygienic thing.
The Perfect Backsplash
"Was gonna say the same. I explain to people that once you use one, you'll feel like a peasent when you wipe your a** with TP."
"Baby wipes. Damn, they are good at cleaning up so many things! The kids are 10 and 15 now and we still buy them by the case. Clean the counters, clean your shoes, get stains out of your clothes, bring them with you when you go eat ribs. Better than a napkin. Clean the table. Clean the desk. Clean the island. Wipe up the spill."
I have to agree about bidets being a life-changing discovery.
Ever since I was a kid going to visit my relatives in Japan and noticing virtually every toilet having a built-in spray 'n wash button, I was like, "Why doesn't America have these wondrous devices installed in every toilet?"
Not only is it super satisfying, it saves trees.
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.