The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.
And sometimes, those minutiae present some serious red flags for the future of that relationship after the vows are exchanged, the decorations stowed away, and life goes on.
Lucky for us, some of those industry professionals use Reddit, and they shared the sauciest tales from the world of ominous weddings.
Some people chose to share about the times when the problems of the relationship weren't subtle at all. They talked about full on arguments and fights that occurred.
Needless to say, it was clear to these professionals where things were headed for the couple.
Same-Day Annulment Service?
"They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all.
"The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night."
"The word 'annulment' was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy sh**."
Damn the Torpedoes, Going Through With it Anyway
"I work and in a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom."
"At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby."
"Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day."
"They still got married."
Zero Investment, Just Another Workday
"I used to work at a popular wedding venue. Bride and groom came in the day before for rehearsal, checked the decorations, and played a sweet video of the couple, standard wedding bullsh**."
"Next day, bride and groom arrived fighting the entire time until reception where the groom proceeded to drink himself blind before speeches and had to be carried out, didn't even get to play that video."
"It was the best shift ever, got to go home early and take home a bunch of food already paid for."
In a few cases, the couple itself actually seemed quite strong and loving. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that matters.
Marriage unites entire families, for better or worse.
Water and Oil
"A few times as a photographer. The couple were usually fine, the families themselves were too different and combative." -- AnchorBuddy
"Oh my god yes. My and my fiance would be married by now if the idea of our families actually meeting wasn't absolutely horrifying." -- elkwaffle
Horrible Moment to Bring That Up For First Time
"When the bride and groom argued over why the groom's mother shouldn't get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag." -- JoeEIRE
"Hahaha my ex tried to convince me to let his mum take the money that night and we'd collect it the next afternoon when we got back from our hotel stay. Fat chance I'd let the extreme gamblers hold on to that much cash." -- chanzii
Love is Earned
"I've been the DJ at a few hundred weddings. There was drama at most of them in some way. One in particular broke out into an old school saloon style fight like in the old 'Western' movies."
"I'm pretty sure that one didn't last."
"Was at a friend's wedding once, it was at the justice of the peace, when the judge or officiant came around to if anyone doesn't believe in the union to speak up or forever hold your peace, a loud 'UH-OH' came shrieking from the back."
"It was my friends 2 Year old son, everybody was joking saying it was a sign. Less than a year later the couple got divorced."
And finally, sometimes a lack of commitment and fidelity is screaming from the face--or even lips--of the bride or groom. In word and action, some people play with fire on the wedding day, and show their cards.
I suppose it is better to know that earlier than later.
Ogling in the Wrong Direction
"Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives."
"You look over and it's a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms."
"Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn't last 6 months from what I've heard."
So Everyone's Up to Speed
"I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions."
I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on."
"How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with 'well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband.' "
"I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying 'did you get that? Tell me you got that.' "
Yup, That'll Do It
"I work for a catering company..."
"I knew they were going to get a divorce as soon as the bride started grinding on the best man when the groom was puking his guts out in the corner."
Of course, it would be wonderful to feel assured that all weddings go off without a hitch and lead to a long term, loving relationship.
But let's be honest, that's not reality. Sometimes the event is a calamity. Apparently, sometimes the partnership itself is a calamity.
And this is the internet, so those are the stories people love to talk about.
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There really are some outrageously entitled people out in the world. It feels like everyone is obsessed with living the life of a Kardashian, and that obsession, is rotting a lot of humanity.
I use to wait tables in a high end restaurant in Midtown Manhattan, very close to the fashion district. Can you imagine the the type of spoiled nonsense I've witnessed? I've seen behavior that would shock Miranda Priestly herself.
When I see people acting in such ways I'm always curious about how in the world these people became this way. Like, who raised you? Did no one ever slap you around? I'll volunteer.
And what do your parents think about their parenting skills? Because I have a few thoughts.
Redditor u/pleasantvalleyroad wanted parents out there to fess up about the "humans" they've unleashed on the world, by asking:
Parents of reddit, when did you realize you had spoiled your child(ren) to the point that they would need serious help to not grow up an entitled jerk? And did you make changes to how you parent from that point forward?
Rule number one in life...
"You are entitled to nothing!"
Money does not make you better and this isn't your world that the rest of us are merely guests in. Just some mantras to begin with.
$$$kim kardashian school GIFGiphy
"Stopped giving money so they had to get a job to have the things they wanted. Helped a lot."
Breaking the Cycle
"Having been abused and neglected as a child, I vowed not to make the same mistake with my own kid. I made a bunch of different ones instead! I didn't discipline here enough, because the only kind of discipline I knew was physical abuse and I refused to do that. In trying to do better I went in the opposite direction, and by the time she was about four years old she was a spoiled, tyrannical brat."
"My husband had worked long hours and wasn't home a lot, and she usually behaved well for him so he was largely ignorant of what was going on. He eventually got permission to work from home a couple days a week and that's when he realized how bad things were. He gently took me aside and pointed out that a four year old should not be screaming at their parents after having been asked to perform a simple task."
"I got therapy to help work through my own issues, and together my husband and I came up with a strategy that allowed me to discipline our daughter without physical punishment. (It took a few tries before we found a strategy that worked.) Then covid happened and now my husband works from home four days a week, which has helped immensely. Our daughter is still spoiled, but her behavior has improved a lot over the last few years to the point that she's usually pleasant to be around, lol. She and I are both a work in progress, but so far the whole family is doing better."
"I started a relationship with a wonderful woman who puts everyone else first. She has a heart of gold and is the sweetest person I have met. However, this desire to make everyone happy is not how you parent children. She has a moderately autistic child who is 15 and another child who is 13. She created an environment where they rely on her for everything. The 13 yo can't even make himself toast."
"The 15 yo did whatever he wanted because she was more concerned about him being happy than being independent. So far, I've gotten the child with autism to wear underwear, stop peeing anywhere he wants, stop abusing his mom, to begin feeding himself finger foods, and in general, to listen if we ask him to do something. I need to work on the youngest one to start making himself food and to eat something other than just frozen chicken strips and french fries."
"My husband had this realization a couple of weeks ago about his oldest. He was shocked when we were at the store and I said no to our toddler, he said ok and didn't whine, I praised him for listening and at that moment my husband was like Holy crap, I think he's more confident and independent than his teen sister, I done effed up with her, haven't I? I just shrugged."
"I told him it's not too late, he just need to keep working on it and not feel guilty about the past. Most people didn't expect a 20 some year old guy to step up and take care of a kid by himself, now that he's older he knows better and going forward can work on building a more positive relationship with his oldest kid which I believe will be helpful to her and might even encourage the confidence and independence she'll need one day. But I'm no expert our kid is very young and most days behaves like all toddlers do 😅."
The SonFathers Day Dad GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"I realised that, because my daughter was so difficult (I have since found out she has ADHD and Autism, like me her Mum), I was letting my Son away with so much more than I would her."
"It was my fiancé that pointed out to me that I was letting him walk all over me for an easy life so I could focus on my youngest and we have made huge changes in the way we discipline him and as a result he is back to the delightful young man he was in the earlier days. I owe a lot to my fiancé actually!"
Rule number 2...
Parents, don't be afraid to parent. Don't try to heal your wounds by allowing a new generation to just do whatever comes into their minds. Raise decent humans, not make-up versions of you.
Tapped Outsad scream queens GIFGiphy
"My daughter was throwing a fit that her bottle of water was not the brand she wanted so someone asked her why she didn't just drink tap water. Her response was, "what's tap water?" She's 10."
"Would have to be when my daughter was 15. I set up credit card account for her, set the limit to $500 and told her the card was only for emergencies, such as if she was out somewhere and needed an Uber home. Got the bill the first month, the card had been run to it's limit, $125 at a beauty salon, $200 at various clothing stores and multiple fast food runs."
"So I sit her down and say "Didn't I tell you this card was for emergencies?" She looked me in the eye and calmly said, "Yes, and that's all I used it for." I reply, "And getting your hair done and a sale at Hot Topic are emergencies?!?" She replies, "Yes for someone my age, they are." Needless to say her credit card was quickly revoked."
"Not one of those parents. But my mom never learned. She has spoiled my younger sister since she was a toddler. Sister is now in her mid 40's, and is still an entitled b*tch. To make things even better; my mother has been the child care provider (free childcare) for all three of my sister's kids from the time each was born. So now. Not only are my nieces and nephew being raised by a narcissistic mom. But by their grandmother, that made their mom that way in the first place."
"The last Christmas we went to their house, which was years ago now since it was THAT BAD. All three kids were in various stages of meltdowns because they didn't get what they wanted. And that was the year the kids got brand new iPhones. The oldest was 9. The middle was 7. And the youngest was 5. It's funny listening to our mom be confused about how they are all spoiled brats."
"I wouldn't say I spoiled her myself, I traveled a lot and just wasn't there for my daughter as much as I should've been. My ex wife, my mom, my MiL all spoiled the hell out of my daughter. I came to the realization after my divorce. I had my daughter for the weekend. She was 4.5 at this point. Not potty trained yet because god forbid she did something that was different."
"I remember sitting on the floor, trying to get her to use the potty and she's just yelling at me that she wants her diapers back. When she went back to her mother's house I get a phone call from my ex, yelling at me for trying to make her use the potty when she wasn't ready."
"My daughter was 4.5 years old! At that point I knew. Did some research, called a behavior specialist and started to get her on the right track. I love her and she's a pretty amazing child. She's still spoiled as hell. I can only do so much with the time I have with her."
"She bullied kids for not having Gucci, supreme, other designer brands, and the latest apple products."
See there, a whole lot of people need a good role model to set them straight. Again, I happily volunteer. I'm not saying parenting is easy, but a ton of you can certainly do better. For the world's sake.
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Listen, before we even get into this I'm going to set some expectations. We're about to talk about testicles. Like a lot.
Just putting it out there.
That's not to say the whole article is Testes Fest 2021 (please don't, you guys.) but I'm not in the business of lying. This article is not the one for younger readers or anyone who just isn't here for juggling any more balls than they had to.
I'm not sorry for that pun.
Reddit user "SecretariatGodHorse" asked:
Pre"dick"tably, people started out with everything you never knew you needed to know about ... well ... you read my intro. You know what you're getting into.
Let's just go on ahead and get the probing penis questions out of the way now.
New Kinds Of KissesLips Kiss GIFGiphy
"When you use the toilet, does your weenie just hang into the toilet? Do you rest it on the seat? Do you ever get poop splash on your ween?" - misternuggies
"It hangs. Sometimes a splash hits the balls. Poseidon's kiss they call it." - SkeletalElite
"When your tip touches the toilet bowl/rim it's called The Witch's Kiss " - CaptainFeather
All About The ScrunchTrack And Field Dancing GIFGiphy
"What happens to your balls when you run?"
"Are they just banging around? Do they stick between your thighs? Do they end up tucked? I've been dying to know, thanks." - Gettin-liiifted
"The nutsack isn't always floppy. It scrunches up or loosens. They don't flop when scrunched."
"Also Underwear keeps it in place." - LemonWaluigi
"Yeah, this is the answer. Your sack can contract so much, it presses your balls pretty far into your groin area."
"Then they don't dangle. They're just there." - Weikor
An Inconvenient TruthAre You For Real No Way GIF by 1 Play SportsGiphy
"Is it true you really get random boners?" - Kanyesb7889
"Yes. Distressingly often as a teen, but even later on it happens." - SoAngry75
"Constantly... I was told at some point that they would stop... I'm thirty f*cking seven and still waiting for that time I can stand up without having to shift things to hide it...." - kezow
"51 here. Hasn't stopped yet. I'm guessing they won't be able to close the coffin lid when I die at this rate." - gonesnake
Great, now that we've gotten all that out of our systems it's important to remember that men, like all humans, are so much more than their crotch-quirks.
Some may not always like to admit it, but there are hopes, fears, insecurities and genuine emotions happening over there. Of course there are!
Human - to - human, the questions turned into something more interesting. We got examinations of what patriarchy, socialization, and expectations look like in the real world.
In short - it got real.
Throwing Away Your ShotGiphy
"Is it true that guys generally hesitate or avoid going up to and talking women that are super attractive?"
"I mean like a 9 or a 10/10? Is attractiveness/appearance something that makes you stall when 'shooting your shot?' " - hoodfairyy
"Can't speak for all guys, but what I tell myself: 'Why the hell would someone like her be interested in someone like me?' " - LiquidGhost8892
"Absolutely. True story:"
"There was this really pretty girl in my friend group (all young 20-somethings) in San Diego. We'd hang out, go to parties, go to concerts, go to the beach, etc. I never even considered asking her out because she was waaaaay out of my league."
"One night she and I were the last of our group at the bar. She has no car so I offer her a ride home. She invites me in for a beer. Cool."
"We're watching late night tv and she leans her head on my shoulder. Eh, fine... we're buds, right?"
"Then her hand is on my thigh. Weird."
"I turn to look at her and she's looking in my eyes. I ask if she's okay and she says she'd be better if I kissed her. WTF?"
"She's like a 9 and I'm a 6 at best (maybe a Scranton 8). But, F*CK YEAH! We make out for a bit, but when I go to cop a feel she breaks it off and says, 'We've both had a lot to drink. Maybe you should sleep here tonight.' "
"I see I've blown it and say, 'Sure. Thanks.' "
"She heads to the bedroom and I kick off my shoes and stretch out on the couch. A couple of minutes go by and she comes back and says, 'Are you coming?' "
"WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING? But I smoothly go 'Um....yeah.' "
"That was Dec 12, 1981. We married April 3, 1982. Still going strong."
"If it wasn't for her, never would have happened." - CharDeeMacDennisII
For A Smile...Flower Petals GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"I'm with someone who buys me flowers to make me smile--what would be something I could do similarly for him that is nonsexual that would brighten his day?" - JustFineAnd
"Be the big spoon. Scalp massage. Back rub, not necessarily a massage, either."
"Next time y'all are watching TV in bed or on the couch. Let him lay his head on your chest or lap, and run your fingers through his hair, or just pet his back like a dog. Even better if he's shirtless and you can lightly scratch his back."
"May not seem like much, but it makes a big impact on us, even if we may not immediately show it. For me, it slows my mind. Helps me stop thinking for a while and process the here and now so much better." - Infectious_Cockroach
"Compliment him. He may not show it on the outside, but he's giggling and blushing on the inside." - wamj
ClingySeason 5 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"How often do men want to be hugged? Does it feels clingy, if a girl offers it every now and then ?" - SpillBeanss
"Cling to me and just never let go. I wouldn't mind. Hugs are great!" - SlamUnited
"I don't know how many guys I speak for but for me being hugged by a girl you're dating or are close with is like getting permission to relax and be happy." - Crionso
"2 situations when someone being clingy has been an issue: when I was going to work and was already late from my schedule and when trying to do a #2."
"Any other time than those, if you're the one I love you could glue or tape yourself to me and I'd be happy." - Betanyymi
What About Your Friends?Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Do you ever worry about what your friends think of the attractiveness of your girlfriend/wife? Like are you ever worried that people you know don't find her good-looking or judge you for being with her?"
"(This question is obviously coming straight from my insecurities lol.)" - MommaJ94
"I actually did have this fear with my last girlfriend. She was a bigger girl and I wasn't really concerned about what they thought, but just didn't want anyone being judgmental toward her."
"It's hard to explain, I wasn't ashamed of her or anything, just hate the thought of people judging her by her appearance." - saddestclaps
"I have never once asked my friends their opinions on my significant other's appearance, and I have never offered my opinion on theirs. And now that I think about it, I haven't really had an opinion on their looks by means to judge them." - secret-hero
Commitment CommentsRunning Away Bake Off GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy
"What makes you want to commit (be exclusive, or get married) does it have anything to do with your partner or more of 'I have to be ready within myself first?' " - Secretly_Uninhibited
"I didn't want to commit to someone who was clearly ready to commit to me if I wasn't ready and could somehow end up wasting their time." - Langhof
"I pushed my wife away for a while, not cut I didn't like her, just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. We've been married for 10, together for about 15." - LostOldAccountTimmay
There's a lot more in the thread, but there's only so much article time you can devote to erections, hugs, and that one guy whose now-wife is the real MVP.
Shout out to that lady. We applaud you, sis.
When you go on a job interview, the last thing you probably never think about is asking a question.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
"What do you like best about working here?"
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I have a few wealthy friends and I've seen a thing or two that has made my eyes pop out of my head. Let's just say that the priorities of a wealthy person and a dude who has never broken six figures are entirely different. But that doesn't compare to working for the fabulously rich. A friend of mine was a nanny for a super rich family for several years and described the lavish trips she took with them (and how picky and out of touch they were, too).
People told us their own stories after Redditor NeighborhoodTrolley asked the online community,
"People who cater to the super rich: What things have you seen?"
"It is so wide..."
"My dad's client bought a whole block of houses to build theirs. It is so wide that they installed a moving walkway like the ones at airports."
"A friend did some work..."
"A friend did some work on Sylvester Stallone's home. Apparently, there's a ton of statues and art of himself, some of which are naked and very well endowed."
Guess what, guys? It's not a joke! Those statues are weird.
Here you go: You're welcome.
"A friend from high school..."
"A friend from high school worked a few years as a deckhand on yachts in the Mediterranean and he said he once jumped in to get a customer's bag and got tipped €4000.
"Was a boyfriend of a girl from an obscenely rich family. The sister used to have the nanny (who was sleeping with the husband, but that's another story) fly to Paris in their G550 to buy the newest Hermès bag so she could show it off a few days before it went on sale in the U.S."
I did know a rich girl who would do something similar: She would fly to Paris for Fashion Week to get cute new outfits before they ever ended up in the United States.
"I used to work for a company that modified aircraft for really rich people. I'm talking 747s, not Gulfstreams.
This company had made several aircraft for this one customer, who I was told had purchased a new one solely because his spiritual advisor had told him that one of his current planes was bad luck. He still let his wife use it for her personal travel.
To me, one of the most exquisite features of these planes wasn't the gold-plated everything, or rare wood veneers, it was the silk carpet. That stuff costs over $1,000 per square foot and feels like walking on a bed of angel feathers harvested in the most inhumane way possible. Granted, these guys don't deck out the whole plane, just their personal areas (the aft third is usually reserved for staff and such and is more like a fancy economy class), but yeah… silk carpet."
"A woman who owned..."
"A woman who owned a small private jet business told me one time someone paid them to fly their dog (by itself) to NY for about $45,000 for some training. No other passengers."
The service that dog received must have been stupendous... but that's also so wasteful, I just can't get over it!
"I became personal friends..."
"I became personal friends with my boss and his wife; super nice people. The wife turned out to be an heiress and would buy me whatever I mentioned, like in passing during a conversation. I learned gifts were how she was raised to show love.
I've trained myself to only talk about things I already own unless I find something useful she might like and suggest it for her."
"Have the money to support their eccentricity.
One guy I cook for wanted his house built so that his bedroom was right above the cow barn, with a retractable spot in the floor so he could fall asleep listening to (and smelling, I presume) the cows."
Smelling the cows?
Are we certain he ever smelled a cow? Because I've been on a farm and I have and it's a terrible smell.
Would not recommend.
"I am an art student..."
"I am an art student working as a gardener. We work in one of the wealthiest areas in my country. Some customers are really eager to show me their collection of artworks that they have hanging on their walls once they find out that I study it.
I remember one time standing in a bathroom, with my dirty gardening clothes and there was a Picasso above the toilet."
"Once saw him..."
"I used to 'work' for an Arab billionaire's son, a Daddy's money guy, terrible garbage human being.
Once saw him spend $16 000 on a wallet, was a fancy one with little gold spikes on it and stuff. He had shoes with gold on them.
I remember one year for his birthday he received like 30+ cakes, big fancy cakes and he told us to leave them on the floor in the hallway outside his room.
We walked by those cakes every day for two weeks waiting for instruction, after the two weeks we were told to throw them away."
Anyway... might as well ask: Any of you rich people out there looking for a poor friend?
Need a houseboy?
Or just someone whose bills you can pay?
I'm totes available.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!
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