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The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.

They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.


And sometimes, those minutiae present some serious red flags for the future of that relationship after the vows are exchanged, the decorations stowed away, and life goes on.

Lucky for us, some of those industry professionals use Reddit, and they shared the sauciest tales from the world of ominous weddings.

Justhearmeoit asked, "People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought 'this ends in divorce?' Why?"

Some people chose to share about the times when the problems of the relationship weren't subtle at all. They talked about full on arguments and fights that occurred.

Needless to say, it was clear to these professionals where things were headed for the couple.

Same-Day Annulment Service?

"They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all.

"The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night."

"The word 'annulment' was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy sh**."

-- pm_me_your_molars

Damn the Torpedoes, Going Through With it Anyway 

"I work and in a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom."

"At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby."

"Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day."

"They still got married."

-- mesembryanthemum

Zero Investment, Just Another Workday 

"I used to work at a popular wedding venue. Bride and groom came in the day before for rehearsal, checked the decorations, and played a sweet video of the couple, standard wedding bullsh**."

"Next day, bride and groom arrived fighting the entire time until reception where the groom proceeded to drink himself blind before speeches and had to be carried out, didn't even get to play that video."

"It was the best shift ever, got to go home early and take home a bunch of food already paid for."

-- ihatepeasoup

In a few cases, the couple itself actually seemed quite strong and loving. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that matters.

Marriage unites entire families, for better or worse.

Water and Oil 

"A few times as a photographer. The couple were usually fine, the families themselves were too different and combative." -- AnchorBuddy

"Oh my god yes. My and my fiance would be married by now if the idea of our families actually meeting wasn't absolutely horrifying." -- elkwaffle

Horrible Moment to Bring That Up For First Time 

"When the bride and groom argued over why the groom's mother shouldn't get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag." -- JoeEIRE

"Hahaha my ex tried to convince me to let his mum take the money that night and we'd collect it the next afternoon when we got back from our hotel stay. Fat chance I'd let the extreme gamblers hold on to that much cash." -- chanzii

Love is Earned 

"I've been the DJ at a few hundred weddings. There was drama at most of them in some way. One in particular broke out into an old school saloon style fight like in the old 'Western' movies."

"I'm pretty sure that one didn't last."

-- Birdapotamus

Familial Omens 

"Was at a friend's wedding once, it was at the justice of the peace, when the judge or officiant came around to if anyone doesn't believe in the union to speak up or forever hold your peace, a loud 'UH-OH' came shrieking from the back."

"It was my friends 2 Year old son, everybody was joking saying it was a sign. Less than a year later the couple got divorced."

-- SamLJacksonNarrator

And finally, sometimes a lack of commitment and fidelity is screaming from the face--or even lips--of the bride or groom. In word and action, some people play with fire on the wedding day, and show their cards.

I suppose it is better to know that earlier than later.

Ogling in the Wrong Direction 

"Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives."

"You look over and it's a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms."

"Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn't last 6 months from what I've heard."

-- Twitfried

So Everyone's Up to Speed 

"I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions."

I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on."

"How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with 'well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband.' "

"I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying 'did you get that? Tell me you got that.' "

-- Scoobymaybe

Yup, That'll Do It 

"I work for a catering company..."

"I knew they were going to get a divorce as soon as the bride started grinding on the best man when the groom was puking his guts out in the corner."

-- shallotthot


Of course, it would be wonderful to feel assured that all weddings go off without a hitch and lead to a long term, loving relationship.

But let's be honest, that's not reality. Sometimes the event is a calamity. Apparently, sometimes the partnership itself is a calamity.

And this is the internet, so those are the stories people love to talk about.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.

Memoryduel

Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended

Glez_fdezdavila_

Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.

Kurtles12

​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.

Angusthedangus

I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.

Fun-Acadia-8735

2 separate lists or just the 1?

OppositeYouth

Same list 2 columns lol.

Fun-Acadia-8735

Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.

Roberted1982

​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.

Theonering1

Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.

SendmePMsofyourBMs

Mood.

Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.

Iheartrevolution

I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.

10per

I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man

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