First dates are already weird and awkward the majority of the time. You never really know a person until you hang out with them one-on-one, and in those cases, you can see their true colors and find out who they REALLY are.
And sometimes, they're so bad that you have to just peace out. These are the stories of such dates, courtesy of Reddit. eseohii asked:
Those who've walked out on first dates, what was your "I'm out of here" moment?
Unfortunately, we can’t completely learn about a person just through dating apps. There’s always a chance they won’t be honest.
Hey, Scorpios are cool!
“First date we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied "Scorpio". She leaned over the table and slapped me clean & hard across the face. Naturally I was shocked and confused, I mouthed "What...?", she firmly says "I NEVER date Scorpios".
I went to the bathroom, came back - she had gone, and paid for everything.”
“At least she paid, so at least that's something.”
Just hold it until the next bar!
uh oh poop GIF by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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“Legitimately when she said she needed to take a wee as we walked down a back alley to the next bar. She pulled her jeans down, TOOK A SH*T behind a bin, then searched in the bin and wiped with a sheet of newspaper.
I was totally infatuated with her after working with her for a few months and in 30 seconds it disappeared, fast.
I just don't get why she didn't wait until the next bar?!
After a few comments, I have to state, we were wasted at this point, she didn't just drop trou and squeeze in a planned brazen act of defiance, I hope."
It takes a lot of confidence to be this blatantly rude.
“She told me she was probably going to ghost me and then asked me to buy her a second drink while I was only a couple sips into mine.”
“This has ‘villain reveals their plan to the hero before the plan has succeeded’ energy.”
“Bold and aggressive” is an understatement.
“I went to the bathroom, but left my phone. She texted every girl name in my phone ‘i miss you’.”
“Bold and aggressive move to find out if there's anyone else in your life.”
Even the people we think are perfect can end up being absolutely bonkers. The only way to find out is that first date.
As a cat person, I can confirm that this is awful.
Cat Meow GIF by Cats Movie
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“She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays. Not give them any vet care and was planning on keeping a recent litter. I love cats... I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.”
Gross gross gross.
“Sadly I was inexperienced when this happened and had to wait until the end of the date but after meeting him I said I'd go and get drinks. He said ‘atta girl’ and slapped my a**.
In shock I went to the bar and got the drinks. I should have walked out of the exit immediately. He was obnoxious.”
No Netflix and chill for that girl.
“Just a nasty rude person. Maybe she had a bad day, who knows, but she said something that I just lost patience with and scooted basically mid-meal.
We went to a cool-but-not-expensive hipster-ish restaurant*, it was a Friday night and they were busy. She complained the whole time about the service being slow and then stupid for having a hard time understanding her over the loud noise, she made fun of the other customers, not in a cleverly-observational-Larry David way, just a senselessly mean and petty way.
The break point was at one point she made a comment about my appearance that in hindsight must've been meant as some flirtatious shade, but I just took that personally, and regardless of intent it was an unflattering thing to say. I wolfed my food and then signaled for the check. I waited an agonizing 5/10 minutes while it came, then stood up, threw down enough cash for my meal and a generous tip for both of us (she'd been such a monster to the servers I knew she wasn't going to tip anything), and started putting my windbreaker on.
She asked me "are you cold?" "No". "Oh. Where're we headed next then?" "Home." And when I said that she looked confused for a second, then gave me a coy look and said "oh ok, yeah, I'm down for Netflix", and, realizing what she thought I was implying, I just said "oh, no, I meant alone". Out the patio right onto the street and freedom.
* I was 23, 24 - young people reading this, do not do a restaurant for a first date unless it is someone you know/are already friends with and know there's a spark before you sit down to a meal. Go for drinks or coffee, it's cheaper, more casual and easy to conversate, it's also easier to disengage - you can pound a beer or a coffee and scoot away in seconds, unlike a meal."
Chefs Share Major Red Flags To Look For While Out To Eat | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Ewwwww.
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“This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed, he said something along the lines of, 'So you know in order for this to work you're gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.'
I was pretty dumbfounded and after a bit of stuttering I told him I didn't think it was going to work, asked for a to-go box and my portion of the check, and noped the f*ck outta there."
How rude.
“I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan. Definitely the moment he said ‘My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you're real.’ Annnnnnndddddd that's when I bounced.”
They really do the bare minimum, don’t they?
“He spent the whole meal talking about how he only dated nurses because they were great caregivers and looked after him. He talked about his last GF who after working her shift, came over to his place, and did his laundry. I was a cook but he was willing to give me a tryout depending on how good my cooking was. We left and there was a busker outside with a crowd and we stopped to watch. I slowly edged my way into the back and then quickly walked away. He also showed up in sweatpants for an evening meal.”
To the Redditors featured in this article- how do you find these people?????
As a neurodivergent person, this makes me mad.
startled adult swim GIF by HULU
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“We didn't even make it to the date. She was a friend of a friend. I thought she was cute and was getting up the courage to ask. But while I was doing that, she kept sneaking up on me and making sudden loud noises in my ear or grabbing me then giggling like she thought it was quirky and cute.
I have anxiety and autism. Sudden touching and loud noises are my two worst meltdown triggers. I told her this and asked her to stop the first few times she did it. She kept doing it. That crush died fast.”
Now that’s good management.
“This guy was about 10 years my senior and very clearly on coke or another type of upper. He offered me a job where he worked, asked me to move in with him to make his ex wife jealous and refused to drive separately to the restaurant he wanted to take me to after we had drinks at a local pub.
Got to the restaurant, told management I was feeling super uncomfortable and the manager himself came up to me and told me there was a phone call for me at the front. I grabbed my purse, drank my glass of wine and hightailed it out of there.”
Well that’s just creepy.
“This is going to be lost in the comments but I just want to share.
I went on a first date with a really cute girl my age (both ladies if that matters?). Anyway, we get to a pretty popular bar/coffee shop in the area and are chatting over drinks. Honestly it was going really well at first. I'm also 100% okay with people talking about mental disorders on the first date as I have some myself and it legitimately is part of who they are/dating them. Also, as long as they are not doing it to imply I have to fix them or to excuse sh*tty behavior then I'm okay with it. If they say they did something sh*tty and then fall back on their disorder it's a no from me.
She mentioned that she had been in inpatient recently and I said I had too. She then said that the exact reason I went into inpatient was why she was in, and said she was at a specific one that I had been in and even the exact same diagnosis as me. I asked when and she told me the week I had been there. I knew for a fact she hadn't been there and it really deeply bothered me. I didn't recall ever telling her these details and usually only bring up mental health if the other person does.
Turns out she worked at a restaurant with a "friend" of mine who divulged a bit too much personal information when she showed him who she was going on a date with. Needless to say, I bounced and neither of them ever heard from me again beyond a "don't talk to me or about me" text.”
Was this person on a date with Dennis Reynolds?
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"Hoping I don't catch sh*t for this but here goes…
We were going to a fairly nice place, fully indoor restaurant. He brought his dog.
Now I LOVE dogs but knew it wouldn't be allowed in the restaurant we had picked. He used it as an opportunity to insist I go back to his house with him. I told him I would wait there while he dropped his dog off and came back and he was furious that I would suggest such a thing. I started to get really anxious because he was yelling and forcing my hand, so I told him I would follow in my car and once we were driving I totally bailed out."
How they treat service workers is usually a good indicator.
“She was rude to the waitress, and I mean really rude, not just short or impatient. I said I was going to the bathroom, walked up to the waitress, handed her some cash, said keep the change and walked out of the restaurant.”
Let this be a word of warning- if you’re going on a first date, be prepared for it to go south. Have an exit plan ready to go just in case it goes nuclear, because it’s honestly a 50/50 chance that it’ll be awkward af.
Also, when you’re on a date, be sure to not talk about your ex or sh*t outside. That should be a given.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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