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Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold

Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold

Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold

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We have all Witnessed those couples who are on their first date and it is awkward as all heck! Cute, but so awkward. Waiters are one of the only people who get to interact with a couple on a first date, and they are serving us up some juicy first date stories.

Username-Checks-Outt asks:

Servers of Reddit, what's the most awkward date you've seen unfold?

The secret escape

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To preface, I work in a restaurant where we make our own ketchup and some people just don't like it. Fine, whatever, if you're nice I'll bring you the secret Heinz ketchup as long as you don't tell anyone. Anyway, a woman is seated at my table looking super excited and tells me she's on a blind date. She orders a glass of wine and waits anxiously, how cute right? So this dude shows up on his phone, ignores my hostess, and eventually finds this beautiful women waiting for him. He continued to talk on his phone for like, 15 minutes, and when he finally hung up I went to the table. He tried to order for her which obviously embarrassed her, and for himself ordered a well done steak and fries. When I brought it to him he asked for A1 and REAL ketchup. When I informed him we had neither he grunted and said he had ketchup packets in his truck. As soon as he walked out the door she asked for her half of the check and her food to go. I helped her leave out the side door before he could even come back. It was awkward serving him after that. He used 7 ketchup packets.

Major foul

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My first day at my first job as a server at a sushi restaurant (17 at the time with minimal people skills lol).

I had just checked in an older woman possibly in her early 60's/late 50's with a young man who couldn't have been older than 25. Midway thru their meal I went to check up on them asking, "aw, are you taking Mom out today?". They both turned with straight faces and the young man answered, "she's my girlfriend."

I whispered an apology and just peeled myself away

The suspense is killing us

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Date I witnessed

Guy pulls out chair for girl, she doesn't realize what he is doing, awkward pause

Sits down, guy clears throat and starts coughing because he cleared it to hard or something

She doesn't know what to do, ignores him picks up the menu

Waiter comes she asks her date if he knows what's good, he says he'll have what she is having, hands menu to waiter, she orders seafood, awkward pause, he is allergic to seafood takes the menu back and looks for another minute, waiter says he can come back, he says no he'll have a steak, waiter leaves

They sit staring, not quietly looking around or at their phones, staring at each other in silence until food comes which they eat in silence

My gf at the time and i were on the edge of our seats waiting for something to happen

You cannot order for a stranger

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Tinder date. Guy keeps ordering for the girl.

He ordered her drink (liquor) which she corrected to a glass of wine. Then he ordered her some soup, which she stated she didn't want. Then he ordered her meal (shrimp scampi), which she corrected to chicken marsala because she is allergic to shellfish.

She was very sweet and I'm assuming was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until something took a turn and she poured her wine on his head and stormed out.

The one good thing about him though... he tipped the hell out of me. like almost 60% tip on an already expensive meal.

I would kill to find out what he said to make this seemingly sweet girl pour cabernet all over him.

What a jerk!

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It was clearly a blind date. Neither were comfortable at all. Dropped off drinks, both were polite, dropped off food, asked how everything was, the guy rolled his eyes and said "well the food is great I just wish SHE would TALK more". Girl's face went tomato red and I dropped off the check shortly after. Poor girl

Nice and formal

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I once saw a guy shake his dates hand when she reached over to grab some bread.

The most painful meal

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The couple broke up.

He dumped her toward the beginning. Girl cried while giving her order. They finished their whole meal, dessert and all.

When you don't speak your wife's language

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Couple in their 50's came in, husband asked if anyone spoke mandarin, (Chinese restaurant) I brought out the owner. Turns out, they are married, the wife just arrived from China, she doesnt speak any english, the husband didnt speak and mandarin.

The owner ended up sitting with them for a half hour translating...

When a date has chaperones

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I had a teenage couple come accompanied by a parent.

Playing to impress

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Oversaw this waiting for take out at a sushi place.

Around 3ish, a guy comes in and explains to the staff that he was coming in later that night with a date, and that he wants them to come out with a roll and say "hi so and so, nice to see you again, this is on the house"

The waitress gave him the most blank look so he explained the whole thing again, emphasizing how he would actually pay for the roll now.

I should have gone back later to see how that played out.

The ghost third wheel

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We had a middle-aged lady come in with a gentleman. They asked for 3 menus. I went over to the table to introduce myself and ask if they were waiting for one more. The woman said no her husband is here and then the two physically at the table ordered drinks and a water.

When I came back to drop off the drinks her "date" was in the bathroom. The lady explained to me that her husband had died a few years ago and this guy (a friend) kept asking to go out. So she said yes but insisted her DEAD HUSBAND come with them. This is why they had 3 menus. She instructed me to bring her husband up as often as possible, pretend that I knew him and make sure I ask if he's having anything for dinner when I took their dinner order. She would refer to him just as if he was sitting right there. I then heard her tell this guy all night that he tries too hard and he's kind of mean.

I do not miss working in the restaurant industry.

When the drugs kick in and a threesome is expected

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I worked at a nice Italian restaurant a couple years ago. One night a couple came in and specifically asked to sit in my section. I had no idea who they were, but the host said they looked at me and asked to sit there because they "vibe with me". Whatever, so I start taking their order and talking with them, and they were acting very odd. They were being over the top friendly, super touchy feely with each other, and just kind of moving all weird. Finally they tell me that tonight was their date night so they decided to take LSD and come get steak and pasta. I don't really know why they wanted to to do it, but they were nice enough. When they were leaving they tried to get my number to "hang out" later.

When things get crazy before the date shows up

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Used to bartend/waitress at a pub back in the day.

One evening a guy comes in and sits down at a table for two. I go ask him if he want a drink. He orders a drink and tells me that he is waiting for a girl he's meeting for a date to order food.

He waits for a bit and I served him a couple drinks. An hour passes, He's looking at his phone occasionally and drinking. He finally comes up to the bar after an hour and a half, and tells me he thinks he's been stood up.

That's rough man. He orders a couple drinks neat and pounds them back. He's starting to look and sound considerably worse for wear at this point. He ordered a couple more drinks and I told him to wait a bit. He convinced me to get them for him by telling me he was going to drink them and leave. So he downs the drink and get up to leave.

Who should walk in the door as he's turning to go, his date. She was still wearing scrubs and looked pretty disheveled. She apologized up one side and down the other for being late.

I then got to serve one of the most awkward dates ever. He was drunk, like I probably shouldn't have gave him that last drink drunk. They make some small talk and it's terribly awkward. He gets up and goes to the bathroom.

20 minutes go by and he doesn't come back. Finally one of the male servers walk up and tells her that her date is having some troubles in the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet bawling.

We asked her to get him out of there. We called him a cab and she pretty much shoved him into it and ran.

you gotta do what you gotta do

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I waited tables during college. The most awkward date I've saw unfold at that time was a lady in her mid-30's who got stood up. Like an hour in, she was still waiting and drinking her 3rd glass of wine. It was really sad to see her come to the realization that her date stood her up. But by that time, she had 3 glasses of wine in her and she ordered food and just talked with random wait staff from time to time and I'm fairly certain ended up convincing one of the waiter who was getting off his shift to go home with her.

Watch the shoes

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Probably the one where the guy's choice of footwear was such a turn off that the woman didn't even sit down with him. She left before he even saw that she came in.

What a pig

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I was not a server at the time BUT .... My boyfriend and I went out to dinner one night and sitting directly in front of us was a middle aged man wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops with socks. He had ordered himself a large appetizer and was drinking a beer. Five minutes later, this younger, attractive , very nicely dressed woman came in and sat with him. You could tell by the look on her face that this was a first date and not was she expected. By this time, he had already ate most of the appetizer and was very loudly talking about how tiny her body was and how he's a big man that likes to be in charge. We felt terrible for this girl! She was very mousy and seemed too sweet to say anything. He kept trying to get her to take shots with him and then was commenting about her having to crash at his place. It was time to leave so we made the bartender aware that the girl look to be uncomfortable.

Worst case scenario

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I once was a server at a very upscale French restaurant in NYC. One evening a middle-aged man and a young woman are sat in my section, clearly on a date. You could tell this woman was his mistress by the way they interacted with each other. They were high maintenance but pleasant enough. Right after they had received their entrees, the man looks across the way to another table and loses all the color in his face. His date noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. The mans wife was at another table, also on a date with her side piece, on the other side of the restaurant. The wife sees him and has the same expression on her face, which very quickly turns to rage. She briskly walks over to his table and starts whisper-yelling at him, pointing her finger right in his face. He starts to do the same back at her. This isn't a very big restaurant, everyone knows what's going on and the atmosphere gets icy. The mans date is just staring at her plate, absolutely mortified. The wife's date pretends nothing is happening and continues eating. Eventually, the wife storms back over to her table and wolfs down her dinner (no exaggeration, she was like rage eating). He sits down and his mistress won't speak to him for the rest of the meal. This is a fine dining restaurant and they ordered multiple courses. Having to clear, crumb, and reset their table two more times was less than fun. He left a very big tip and apologized on the way out.

The hit and run

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Not a date but the end result was the guy paying for the girl's meal and drinks.

VERY chatty woman in her early 20's was at the bar and ordering more than a few drinks, probably 5 or 6 cocktails and a few beers. Did I mention this was the middle of the day? Guy sits next to her and they end up chatting, good for them. It's time for her to leave and she hands me a credit card which is of course declined. She apologizes and fishes around for another credit card. This one is declined as well. She gets a little pouty and plays the woe is me card. White Knight next to her swoops in and says not to worry, he'll pay the bill, which is around $100. I guess he was expecting to get some and take her home, but as soon as he paid and the card went through she fast walked out of the place and was never seen again.

The first fight

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In high school I worked as a buffet attendant/ waiter because the waitstaff sucked and I would end up getting people their drinks and even taking orders on occasion. Anyway a man and woman come in and I take their drink order. I somewhat recognized the woman as the mother of a guy from my high school and I know his parents were getting a divorce and well about 5 to 10 minutes after they arrived I see the soon to be ex husband storm in and he and the date get into a fist fight in the middle of the restaurant. It was a bit late so it was not as full but it basically shut Down the restaurant for about an hour because of all the cops and stuff.

This man is a liar

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I was a server at a place that had a special for "all you can eat riblets", this was in some time in 2000. Man and woman come in, get seated in my section. Dude was a little dingy, looked to be in his early 30's, she was much better put together, I guessed late 20's. Got orders, drinks, they both did the riblet thing, they spent about 3 hours there. During that time the guy also asked me about how I liked working there and if we were hiring for kitchen help. I got him an application and he filled it out. While I was giving it over to the manager they tried to leave. They managed to get to their car, they even would have managed to get away if the battery wasn't dead. My manager and I went out to give him his bill, he explained he didn't have any money, so my manager started to call the police. His date stepped up and paid for the bill and gave me a heafty tip. She said he had told her he'd already paid while she was in the restroom, didn't really believe her, but it didn't matter much. She called for a cab after that, the guy was still trying to start his car at 11pm when I left.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

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Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.