I'm going to tell you a story...
And then this happened...
And then that happened...
But wait, it gets better.
"Someone broke into my car..."
Someone broke into my car one day. They took all the stuff in my console and glove compartment and threw it around my car.
I found a note that said "Try harder next time Daniel." My name is not Daniel.
"To get revenge..."
Someone stole my car a few years ago but the gas gauge was busted. They only made it about 4 miles. To get revenge they tuned all my radio stations to country music stations and stole all the knobs.
"During one of the lunch periods..."
I like to refer to this as simply "The Day" from high school.
During one of the lunch periods, some guys who had issues with each other started brawling in the cafeteria. The lunch monitors and on duty cop for the high school weren't able to stop them as it was 5 or 6 rather large dudes. So reinforcements get called and 4 or 5 squad cars whip into the parking lot and the cops run into the school. They get into the cafeteria and start breaking up the fight that 1/3rd of the school (~400) is watching at this point. One of the guys breaks free from the cops hold after only getting one wrist cuffed and started sprinting away. The cop realized he wasn't going to catch up so he shot and hit the kid with a taser. The kid dropped immediately.
While that was going on, a kid decided that during that lunch period would be the perfect time to smoke in one of the bathrooms a bit away from the cafeteria. This wouldn't have been much of a issue if he would have been smoking tobacco, but homeboy was on that wacky tabacky. So what else is a high teen supposed to think when they hear squad car sirens whipping into the parking lot other than, "OH SHIT THEY'RE GONNA GET ME!". So he needs to get rid of the evidence. Unfortunately, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the crayon box. So instead of flushing it or washing it down the sink, he throws his lit joint into the garbage can which, at this point in the day, is full of now dried paper towel that all catches fire. The kid freaks out and kicks the trashcan over sending flaming paper towel everywhere setting the bathroom on fire and books it. As far as I know, no one ever was able to figure out who decided to get the bathroom blazed with him.
While that was going on, a math class was winding down and people were working on their homework before they got to go to their lunch period. A girl calmly raised her hand. The teacher asked her what her question is and she said, "Um, I think my water just broke." The teacher bolted into action called the office and said they need an ambulance stat as he has a student going into labor (Pregnancies were . . . not uncommon at the school). He, being a father himself and having gone through this process with his wife, began leading the girl in breathing exercises until two paramedics showed up to the room. They came in, got on each side of the girl, hooked their arms under hers, and lifted her completely off the ground before moving as quickly and safely as they could out of the room. I do believe she was able to make it to the hospital to deliver a healthy baby.
All of this happened between 11:40a and 12:10p. Everyone knew about all the separate events by the end of the day.
"Went to a strip club..."
Went to a strip club with a friend and passed out in the back rooms.
Woke up to a stripper saying I owed her $300.
Wallet was empty.
Cops are called to address the situation.
I show cop my online bank info showing a $500 ATM withdrawal at said strip club. Told cop that either the stripper stole my money while I was passed out, or the bar served me $500 worth of drinks. Cop doesn't think the stripper has a reason to lie.
I get arrested and put in the drunk tank.
6 Sleepless hours later I get released.
Just as I'm leaving the cop shop my phone rings. My boss is wondering where I am (as it's a Tuesday). Tell him I spent the night I'm the drunk tank. He says stay right there I'll pick you up.
Ended up working a 12 hour day as a flat roofer.
"Same thing happened..."
Same thing happened to a previous boss, stripper stole $1000 and cctv showed her going through his wallet while he was passed out and she went to ATM to take his money.
Two cops arrived and one of them was flirting with another stripper while the other cop was telling my boss he owed money with the bouncers glaring at him.
Once the cctv was shown, the owner was so cheap he offered a free lap dance to my boss to shut him up.
Place shut down and the stripper thief was later arrested for trying to steal from the jewelry cabinet at a Wal-Mart.
My boss learned from that and cut back on drinking in strip clubs. And never write the PIN on the card.
"I went to a friend's..."
I went to a friend's birthday party in fifth grade once. We all got into a limo with a bunch of the kids mom's, including the birthday girls, I'll call her Gina, mother.
We were having a great time and the mom's all decide they were gonna go to the bar and leave all us 5th graders in the limo. Things went fine until we went back to Gina's home.
We got there, and our friend Jennifer said she had a stomach ache. Jennifer had a lot of health problems so we weren't surprised, Jennifer asked Gina's mother to call her family to leave. Gina's mother then practically cornered Jennifer and started yelling about how disrespectful she was.
The other moms stepped in and told her to stop, and Gina's mom then turned around and said that everyone had to leave and that the party was over.
We all left, and I called my mom to pick me and Jennifer up. Gina came outside and said that her mom had passed out in bed, assumingely drunk, and then brought the cake down so we could eat it on the sidewalk with our hands.
"Started working swing..."
Started working shift swing for a company. I wanted to work mornings but I took the job because the pay was good and you could get a position on the morning crew whenever someone leaves. Work there for 2 years and climb my way up the list of seniority. I get word that there is an opening on the morning shift. A few days later, one of our drivers loses his license so they move him into the open morning position since he can't drive. I would have fired him but it's whatever. A few months later, another position opens up shortly after a coworker below my seniority has a nervous breakdown. So to reduce their stress they move them to the vacant position in the morning. Shortly after that, another coworker below my seniority goes to the manager and basically says if he doesn't get a morning position he's going to quit. Manager gives him a position that wasn't supposed to be open for several more months.