I love weddings. Who doesn't?
As long as there is an open bar.
I have attended weddings that left me with PTSD.
Some people's "taste" in fashion or decorum leaves much to be desired.
But even the craziest and the trashiest were a hoot.
Redditor View-Overall wanted to hear all the tea about weddings that have left an impression. They asked:
"What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?"
Weddings are a unique experience. And it should be a dream. Not a nightmare.
Ummm....
stripper GIF
Giphy
"The bride and her sisters did a strip tease/lap dance on the groom immediately following dinner. In front of his grandmother."
JohnaldL
tailgate...
"At a park. Pick up trucks with igloo coolers opened on the tailgate were the bar. Everything was served in red solo cups BEFORE the wedding. Everyone got drunk. The bride walked down the aisle drinking from a red solo cup instead of holding a bouquet. It was essentially a tailgate party with a preacher invited."
Butterbean-queen
"I Studied The Blade"
"Really old friend of my wife's. She hadn't seen her in years but was invited to her wedding. The guy this chick was marrying was absolute 'I Studied The Blade' levels of cringe. He was shirtless, wore black jeans and his arms were covered in barbwire tattoos and quotes that you'd find on those idiotic 'bada**' skeleton memes where they point guns at you and claim they'll 'f**k you up if you hurt anyone I care about' kind of crap."
"It was quickly apparent my wife and I were the only ones in attendance that practiced normal human hygiene. They were roasting what I thought was a suckling pig on a spit, but as it cooked, I noticed shit bubbling out of its a** and its stomach was swelling."
"I asked his best man if this was a properly slaughtered pig, and the best man proceeds to regale me with the tale of how he and the groom got s**t faced the night before, climbed into a nearby farm, and stole this pig. They shot it in the head and impaled it with a long piece of rebar, which upon closer inspection was what it was turning on."
"Just so happens while we were discussing the groom's recent crime, the pig's stomach exploded. Blood, crap and guts poured out in enough quantities to put out the fire. Wife and I had already given each other the 'yeah, time for us to GTFO of dodge' look before this, but yeah, needless to say we beelined for the car and left."
"We later found out the cops showed up and arrested the groom and his best man once the farmer they stole from realized one of his prized pigs was missing. The groom tried to fight the cops and got tased. He made it easy for them by already being shirtless. Mmyep."
Shadow_Researcher
dad's second...
"Probably my dad's 2nd marriage. Along the banks of a river with trailer homes in the background. He's wearing a tuxedo T-shirt and rainbow mirror sunglasses. The ceremony took place at noon: he'd been drinking since 5AM. I had to walk one of the bridesmaids down a flight of steps as she was legally blind, and someone asked me if I was going to bang her. sighs."
shibbster
Oh Girl...
patrick swayze film GIF by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Giphy
"Surely that video of the bride walking down the backyard aisle while dirty dancing to her own crappy recorded cover of crazy has got to be up around here somewhere,"
Crash4654
Maybe wedding planners really are worth the money?
The DJ Saved my Life...
Dj GIF by Beastie Boys
Giphy
"I was actually the bartender but it was a hoot. 1st, wedding was outside and it stormed violently. Groom was hammered pre wedding."
"Hit on all the bartenders. Then the DJ got hammered, made lewd comments to women in the microphone. Then basically everyone was hammered, knocked over the wedding cake which also happened to be a table with many candles, so the place caught on fire. Good times. Often wonder how that marriage worked out."
SnooHobbies7109
In Mississippi
"My own. In a Mississippi judge's office with a bag of Cheetos on her desk. She wiped her hands on a napkin, grabbed a Bible, and did her thing with orange crumbs on her lips. Her work heels were not on because she was in her office. It was extremely rushed. I understand that she was on her break but we didn't mind waiting. Idk why they rushed us through."
Zezima-RS
Hooters
"A wedding on the beach behind Hooters. The officiant stood next to a trash bin. As if it was planned, the trash collector pulled up during the vows. Did he wait to change the bag? Absolutely not. Children at the wedding swarmed the couple like the flies around the trash can just after the kiss, stepping all over her dress."
"She bent over to adjust her sandal and a pack of Marlboro reds fell out of the bust along with her right breast. It felt like we were rubber necking instead witnessing a marriage. I’d ask how y’all knew this was the panhandle of Florida, (Pensacola) but when I read this post to my fiancé, he added, 'Hummingbird, you forgot to add the background of boats sporting Trump flags and rental jet skis.'" 🤣
Svetlana_of_Athens
CAMO...
"Camo print wedding dress that was borderline see-through. Walked down the aisle to the Scooby Doo theme. No, nobody knows why they chose that song, including the couple themselves. They divorced a few months later after they both stopped cleaning the house in an act of defiance against one another."
Much_Difference
"What? No!"
What Is It Reaction GIF by Nebraska Humane Society
Giphy
"My friends told me my dog could be my +1 at their wedding. At first I said, 'What? No!' but they insisted because Buddy is a great dog and I am a sad single person. So I put a tie on the dog and we went to a wedding."
EstroJen
The Dance
"I don’t even know where to begin... ceremony was comprised of immediate family then followed by a reception with all guests in a relatively nice hotel banquet hall. An hour in at 7pm the open bar was completely closed down because MULTIPLE guests were throwing up in the bathroom sinks causing flooding, the groom was so wasted even before the ceremony but was blackout by the time of reception."
"During the first dance he kept his hands in his cargo pant khakis the entire time and ate dinner sitting on the floor in a corner of the hall while the bride sat at the head table alone. About two hours in, the groom randomly left and slept at their house while the bride stayed in the newlywed suite by herself... they are now separated as you may have assumed by this point."
Rdab3
At a bogan wedding...
"Waitress at a bogan wedding. The night ended with the chef and I rounding up the kids and barricading us all in the kitchen and locking the doors to prevent the melee of fighting adults outside from A) accessing MORE weapons (Some of them BYO’d knives) and B) hurting the kids."
"They ranged in age from toddlers to preteens. It was just the chef and I, 2 women and a whole bunch of screaming and frightened kids until the police came and carted everyone off to jail. Wedding photographer showed up the next morning for the scheduled photoshoot. I had to tell him he could find the wedding party at the local jail. The chef and I are still friends, but we both quit that place shortly after that epic wedding."
a_nonny_mooze
The MOB
"The bride made a speech thanking her in laws for financial assistance for the event. Her mother was not thanked and she was furious. There was a long head table for bridal party and parents. It was made out of small tables pushed together covered by one long tablecloth. The mother pulled a small table out of the arrangement, catching the table cloth, and nearly destroying the head table set up."
"Now the bride got angry and there was much back and forth with various family members attempting to make peace. The mother refused to push back her table and began to invite others to sit with her, all people who were not meant to be seated at the front. Mother of bride continued to sit there and talk crap about her daughter, the bride, to anyone who would listen."
lilyspads
Conjuring the Storm
Animated GIF
Giphy
"I once worked a wedding where come time for the first dance no one could find the groom. Turns out, he went to the resort’s shooting barn to shoot clay pigeons. Upon learning this news, the bride reacted by cursing up a storm on the dance floor."
Catsandsnacks22
31 Years In
"Probably mine. My wife and I married after only knowing each other for 3 months. We were married in front of a judge on a Saturday morning. We're standing up there and they bring in all the guys that got arrested from the night before... mostly for drunk and disorderly or whatever. And I thought 'oh no... we have to get married in front of these guys?'"
"But the judge was pretty cool and he took us back this his chambers and married us there. When we were walking out of his chambers, all the guys they had brought in were smiling at us. It was really weird. But hey, we've been married now for 31 years. So I guess we can't complain too much."
goofball_jones
Things to Say at a Wedding...
"Wedding was in a suburban driveway. The maid of honor stole the bouquet from someone’s garden and the best man proudly announced he had shoplifted the rings. The groom wore a button-down shirt that said ‘f**k off’ in fancy lettering. The bride stopped in the middle of the vows to tell her mother to ‘get that f**king kid out of here.’ It was her second kid by the previous bloke. When it was over, we apologized to the celebrant. He said he’d seen worse."
HopelessEmu
Like none...
"There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no freaking chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was freaking crazy. Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables and chair people didn't bring them but afterwards I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said 'Oh we would have had to pay extra for that.'"
PM_MEE_P**SY_PICS
“make it work”
"This one’s a twofer! The bride’s best friend (and MOH) uses the wedding to announce that she’s pregnant, with the groom’s child. Cut to: divorce after 2.5 years of trying to 'make it work' and now groom is marrying the previous MOH, his baby mama, when the now ex-wife and (for some unknown reason the MOH) announces that she’s also pregnant with, you guessed it, the groom’s child! Both weddings had great food and an open bar so I can’t complain; plus I got a great story out of it."
tankgirl619
When in Buffalo
"I had one of my friends from high school get married in a trashy way. His fiancé at the time invited him to lunch at Buffalo wild wings and she had also invited the whole family (they where in on it) and once my friend showed up he found out it was a surprises wedding (just like you would do a surprise birthday party)."
"The even trashier part is they didn't like reserve the restaurant or anything so in his wedding photos (standing in front of the bathrooms by the way) you can see complete strangers coming out of the bathrooms."
TaintedTruth222
Like I said earlier... "ALWAYS HAVE AN OPEN BAR!!" It's just the way to go!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Share The Trashiest Halloween Costumes They've Ever Seen ›
- People Share The Worst Things You Can do At Someone Else's ... ›
- People Describe The Most Cringeworthy Things That Happen At Weddings - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.