Some jobs are just too awkward. You couldn't pay me enough money to do a few things in particular. Being a translator would be right up there. As enticing as it sounds to be an active audience in the drama of others, some drama is too uncomfortable to communicate. When you have to help strangers or even loved ones understand things that are better left to the imagination, that leaves a mental impression. Thank the Lord for vodka.
Redditor u/MrMatoKapo wanted the translators out there to tell us about some "interesting" times they've had to communicate by asking.... Translators of Reddit, what is the most disturbing thing you have had to translate?It was not fun.
A badly recorded and garbled video made in a hospital for children with developmental issues. It was not fun. The worst part was when a girl's parents were discussing something and the mom mentioned other children.
Then the father said something like "other children don't want to play with [daughter's name]".
For a few seconds after that he looked like he was going to break down, but then he managed to collect himself, clapped his hands in a gesture of hopeless acceptance, and started playing with his barely coherent child. Mind101
Tragedies.
I worked in the humanitarian sector for a bit. So for me: testimonies of people who had gone through the horrors of war, had been assaulted, kidnapped, or had seen family members/friends/neighbors be killed in front of them. Also press releases announcing that a member of our organization had been killed while working in a conflict zone. CamelliaSafir
Carl's Jr.
I was once eating in a Carl's Jr. in Chula Vista, CA when a woman in her late 40's entered with her boyfriend (¿? idk really) arguing very loudly, everyone was very alarmed as most of the clients were families with small children. She went out and everything went normal again.
30 minutes later, I was waiting for the bus to take me to the international crossing (I live in Tijuana) when the same woman approached me and the ones who were in the bus stop asking for help and for someone of us to call 911, as she was physically abused by her partner.
She also spoke English, but she was so nervous she told me how he was dressed and some of the things she had passed in Spanish. Before she finished, she saw the man coming towards her, so I told her to don't worry, as I would call 911.
When dispatcher asked for details, I had to translate everything (as the Spanish-speaking dispatcher wasn't available), it was so awful I wouldn't want to remember it. Also, it was my first time calling American 911, so I was nervous as I had the idea dispatchers were not paying attention or were mean, but she was very nice and comprehensive.
Just as I went on the bus, the cops arrived behind it, when they approached her partner, he started running away, but was luckily caught. The last thing I saw was some officers calming the woman and arresting this man. I hope she received professional help, because she suffered a lot. Emi6219
I'm Great!
GiphyWhen my neighbor started telling my mom how great I am. Translating compliments about myself I found disturbing a bit. SaveTheNature
Bananas....
I do a lot of work internationally, and we use translators pretty frequently. After work one day, a few of us went to grab drinks. We were talking about how wild translating could be- one of the guys said his craziest experience was being the sole translator for the Russian National Rugby Team.
He was a Spanish/English translator. Three of the twenty or so Russians had played rugby in Scotland, which is where they learned to speak English.
So- Speaking Spanish for a team of twenty guys who were speaking Russian through three guys who were speaking Scottish-English (with Scottish slang) with a thick Russian accent.
Bananas. WatchTheBoom
TMI!!!
GiphyWhen my French friend had met one of my American friends and they started flirting and dirty talking. I had to translate back and fourth.
Lemme tell you, hearing how your American guy friend is gonna have sex with your hot French friend so intense she's gonna be numb and forget she's French, then having to translate to French then having to translate your French friend saying she's his is pretty damn awkward and disturbing
They ditched me and tbh I'm fine with that. Don't ever wanna translate for them again. ExistentialNerds
My German is rusty....
I had a relative who translated games from English to German for EA. His English is excellent, my German is rusty, but occasionally he wanted input from a native English speaker.
He was stumped on "fusion gorp pus tosser" and I couldn't really offer any help on that one beyond something that flings a gross substance. sezah
The Gamble.
Probably not going to count for much, but I used to work in the Online Gambling industry, so my job was partly translating "game" descriptions. Wasn't disturbing as such, but I mean I knew how problematic gambling can get for some so there's that. JimBro55567
The Butt Area.
GiphyA patient had hemorrhoids, described to me in full detail what it was like. Since the patient didn't know how to send an email, I received the picture by text and forwarded to the doctor. Never thought I would see another guys butt area tbh. huycx
Tech Support.
Used to be a customer support team lead at a big video game company. We received a report that someone was grooming kids over the in-game chat. Had to read and translate (for my manager) the whole chat history for the last 4 weeks of a disgusting human being trying to get details off children to contact them outside of the game. Police report with the user details was filed. darkunrage
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.
In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.
Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.
Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:
"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"
Humans Are Technically Animals...
"Animal Planet."
"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"
"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."
"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody
You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...
"Cracked.com."
"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."
"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple
"StumbleUpon."
"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."
"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."
"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy
Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphyLess Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down
"Etsy."
'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."
"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."
"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK
The Dreaded Paywall...
"Photobucket!"
"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."
"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."
"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."
"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."
"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."
"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner
Arguably, All For The Best?...
"Yik Yak."
"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."
"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf
episode 16 moe GIFGiphyChocolate Lovers Revolt!
"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."
"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."
"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."
"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."
"I imagine to save money."
"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."
"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."
"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."
"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."
"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-
Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...
"Sci-Fi Channel."
"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe
Tara Reid Storm GIF by SYFYGiphyNot Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...
"RadioShack."
"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."
"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."
"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."
"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."
"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."
"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."
"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235
Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...
"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura
Found Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphyThere's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...
"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"
"New and interesting food."
"Very different from most British food."
"Becomes very popular."
"Owners sell to a large company."
"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."
"Make the food more British."
"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."
"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."
"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr
Money Doesn't Solve Everything
"Quora."
"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."
"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."
"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "
"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold
Bored Sales GIF by EGiphySuccess can be a very dangerous thing.
As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.
A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.
What makes someone a 10?
It ain't all about looks, baby.
Looks are fine.
But charisma is everything.
There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.
That's why it's good to know your strengths.
Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:
"What is the most attractive thing about you?"
I think my eyes sell the whole package.
Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.
Connections
Yoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODYGiphy"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."
Southern_Snowshoe
Lashed
"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."
bleepbloopmunchmunch
"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."
EasterButterfly
"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."
DesertRat012
Beauty
"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."
StrangersWithAndi
"That’s such a good quality."
Overall_Wish_912
Look Up
"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."
ConflictFast8743
"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."
CaptainLongshorts
"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"
abqkat
Light as a Feather
the office therapy GIFGiphy"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."
CheddarBurgers
"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."
random_username3184
Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.
Perfect
Regular Season Sport GIF by MLBGiphy"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."
KilnMeSmallz
"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."
Weeziir
For the Boys
"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."
SlayzorHunter
"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."
OkSwitch470
"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."
SlayzorHunter
Share With Me
"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"
PeterGivenbless
"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."
Krissyfox_7
"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."
East_Satisfaction242
Streaks
"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."
fuqaduck
"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."
604Ataraxia
The Nuzzle
"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."
sussyboingus
"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."
TWH_PDX
The Body
The Simpsons Dance GIFGiphy"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."
DrWiskers
Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.
Thank goodness.
