Some jobs are just too awkward. You couldn't pay me enough money to do a few things in particular. Being a translator would be right up there. As enticing as it sounds to be an active audience in the drama of others, some drama is too uncomfortable to communicate. When you have to help strangers or even loved ones understand things that are better left to the imagination, that leaves a mental impression. Thank the Lord for vodka.
Redditor u/MrMatoKapo wanted the translators out there to tell us about some "interesting" times they've had to communicate by asking.... Translators of Reddit, what is the most disturbing thing you have had to translate?It was not fun.
A badly recorded and garbled video made in a hospital for children with developmental issues. It was not fun. The worst part was when a girl's parents were discussing something and the mom mentioned other children.
Then the father said something like "other children don't want to play with [daughter's name]".
For a few seconds after that he looked like he was going to break down, but then he managed to collect himself, clapped his hands in a gesture of hopeless acceptance, and started playing with his barely coherent child. Mind101
Tragedies.
I worked in the humanitarian sector for a bit. So for me: testimonies of people who had gone through the horrors of war, had been assaulted, kidnapped, or had seen family members/friends/neighbors be killed in front of them. Also press releases announcing that a member of our organization had been killed while working in a conflict zone. CamelliaSafir
Carl's Jr.
I was once eating in a Carl's Jr. in Chula Vista, CA when a woman in her late 40's entered with her boyfriend (¿? idk really) arguing very loudly, everyone was very alarmed as most of the clients were families with small children. She went out and everything went normal again.
30 minutes later, I was waiting for the bus to take me to the international crossing (I live in Tijuana) when the same woman approached me and the ones who were in the bus stop asking for help and for someone of us to call 911, as she was physically abused by her partner.
She also spoke English, but she was so nervous she told me how he was dressed and some of the things she had passed in Spanish. Before she finished, she saw the man coming towards her, so I told her to don't worry, as I would call 911.
When dispatcher asked for details, I had to translate everything (as the Spanish-speaking dispatcher wasn't available), it was so awful I wouldn't want to remember it. Also, it was my first time calling American 911, so I was nervous as I had the idea dispatchers were not paying attention or were mean, but she was very nice and comprehensive.
Just as I went on the bus, the cops arrived behind it, when they approached her partner, he started running away, but was luckily caught. The last thing I saw was some officers calming the woman and arresting this man. I hope she received professional help, because she suffered a lot. Emi6219
I'm Great!
GiphyWhen my neighbor started telling my mom how great I am. Translating compliments about myself I found disturbing a bit. SaveTheNature
Bananas....
I do a lot of work internationally, and we use translators pretty frequently. After work one day, a few of us went to grab drinks. We were talking about how wild translating could be- one of the guys said his craziest experience was being the sole translator for the Russian National Rugby Team.
He was a Spanish/English translator. Three of the twenty or so Russians had played rugby in Scotland, which is where they learned to speak English.
So- Speaking Spanish for a team of twenty guys who were speaking Russian through three guys who were speaking Scottish-English (with Scottish slang) with a thick Russian accent.
Bananas. WatchTheBoom
TMI!!!
GiphyWhen my French friend had met one of my American friends and they started flirting and dirty talking. I had to translate back and fourth.
Lemme tell you, hearing how your American guy friend is gonna have sex with your hot French friend so intense she's gonna be numb and forget she's French, then having to translate to French then having to translate your French friend saying she's his is pretty damn awkward and disturbing
They ditched me and tbh I'm fine with that. Don't ever wanna translate for them again. ExistentialNerds
My German is rusty....
I had a relative who translated games from English to German for EA. His English is excellent, my German is rusty, but occasionally he wanted input from a native English speaker.
He was stumped on "fusion gorp pus tosser" and I couldn't really offer any help on that one beyond something that flings a gross substance. sezah
The Gamble.
Probably not going to count for much, but I used to work in the Online Gambling industry, so my job was partly translating "game" descriptions. Wasn't disturbing as such, but I mean I knew how problematic gambling can get for some so there's that. JimBro55567
The Butt Area.
GiphyA patient had hemorrhoids, described to me in full detail what it was like. Since the patient didn't know how to send an email, I received the picture by text and forwarded to the doctor. Never thought I would see another guys butt area tbh. huycx
Tech Support.
Used to be a customer support team lead at a big video game company. We received a report that someone was grooming kids over the in-game chat. Had to read and translate (for my manager) the whole chat history for the last 4 weeks of a disgusting human being trying to get details off children to contact them outside of the game. Police report with the user details was filed. darkunrage
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
"People who quit their job on the spot, why?"
You Can't Fire Me, I Quit!
"I got fired from a pizza delivery job once and told I had to finish my shift on a Friday night."
"They said I was a no call no show the previous day."
"I wasn't scheduled."
"They wrote me in but didn't call me."
"The ink wasn't even the same color as the rest of the schedule."
"So when I showed up for work the next day they told me I was fired for no call no show, but I had to stay and work."
"I said f*ck that, and walked two doors over to the Chinese place and asked if they needed a delivery guy."
"Hired on the spot."
"Plus free egg rolls."- Artisanal_Sh*tposter
Young Ones Pizza GIF by YoungCapitalGiphySomething Tells Me He Didn't Get It...
"Not me but the weirdest one I have ever seen."
"I am the electronics guy at Walmart."
"One night they drop someone new on me."
"He had gone through all the onboarding and training videos and sh*t which takes a few days."
"They tell me to point him at something to do."
"I take him to the ink aisle and show him how to zone it."
"Put everything in order line it up against the edge of the shelf, sh*t like that."
"He says he's cool he gets it so I'm like great and walk away."
"Like not even 10 f*cking minutes later I go to see how he's doing and dude is f*cking gone."
"We never saw him again."- TimeTravelMishap
Pumpkin Fail GIFGiphyUnsafe Work Environment
"I had the owner of a restaurant I was managing spill literally boiling fresh made chicken noodle soup on my middle torso all the way down."
"So hot and painful to the point I had to strip my soaking boiling shoes."
"My reaction was to run and swear."
"He told me If I swore so vocally again he would let me go."
"I then needed medical attention, to which he refused."
"I went to the hospital anyway, came to work the next day with bandages, and was told I would work today's shift as repayment for missing my previous one."
"I explained that was illegal and gave him an ultimatum, either he fix it with him paying my medical bills or I walk."
"He laughed saying I had no control over it."
"So I walked."
"3 months later after filing suit, I supplied all the information needed to indict him on tax fraud, failure to properly insure, failure to maintain a safe work place, and he and his other businesses had to be sold for him to afford the legal costs, my medical bills and the mandatory restitution payments."
"Stupid b*tch is still paying me out, and now that he's fulfilled his sentenced time, lives in a relatively medium sized town and we frequent the same locations."
"I consistently remind him of what his next payment is owed and due."- Bigjerr2007
Chicken Soup GIFGiphyNot Part Of The Job Description...
"Quit a job on the first day."
"I was hired as an IT tech, however this company did not know what IT techs were."
"They thought 'IT does everything', including making sure their lights were replaced."
"I had one lady complain about me not changing her lightbulb fast enough because the burned out one shatterd on me and cut my hand open."
"I dropped the box of flourescents, shattering literally all of them, and walked out."
"Told my supervisor he needs to hire actual maintenance cause IT fixes computers."- TheLightningCount1
Passed Over For A Job They Were already Working!
"I walked away from a job in management once because they passed me up for a promotion for a role I was doing anyways due to it being vacant but needing to be done."
"When they passed me up I started looking."
"When they asked ME to train the guy who got it who was now my boss, I left."- SUTATSDOG·
Time Wasn't Valued
"Was brought in for a tryout shift and when I arrived I was told it wouldn't be paid since this was for them to see if they wanted to hire me and not the other way around."- picnic-boy·
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphyEnough Is Enough
"Large corporation kept 'downsizing' the workforce but not the workload."
"Those of us who were left (team of 15 reduced to 2) felt so lucky to have a job that we didn’t complain about taking on the jobs of three people and working 60+ hours per week."
"Company hires a new department head and a couple months later I have my annual review where he says 'we just need you to do more' to which I replied 'no'."
"No forethought."
"No plan."
"I just knew I couldn’t take on more."
"I definitely caught him off guard."
"And I couldn’t believe 'no' came out of my mouth."
"We were both stunned."
"But that was effectively my two week's notice."- NewUserNameIsDumb
Fed Up With Greed
"I was working as an engineer for a big corporation."
"I was supposed to get a promotion to senior engineer at the start of covid lockdowns, so they told me I wouldn’t get one because of covid."
"Fair enough."
"But a couple weeks later they told me our salaries would be reduced because the company wasn’t doing well."
"Not nice but nothing I could do."
"A couple months later, the company promoted two vice presidents to senior vice presidents, and gave them a huge bonus."
"I then asked for my promotion and they told me that no promotions would take place under Covid."
"I waited a few more months until they finally gave me my promotion."
"And the salary increase was £100 A YEAR."
"Which is much smaller than what my salary was reduced because of Covid."
"I took home the letter indicating I had a promotion, gave my notice and began looking for a senior engineer role somewhere else."
"F*ck greedy corporations."
"I forgot to mention that they removed all our bonuses during this time period, but management got it all."- AnheruKira
Tax The Rich Amazon GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphyIt's understandable to bear with a job you hate for the money.
But money can't buy back your dignity and self-worth.
If either of those are being threatened at your place of employment, it's probably time to move on.
"What's the most obvious hint a girl was interested in you but you missed all the signs?"
If She Wanted To "Study" She Would Have Stayed In The Living Room
"I was invited to her apartment to study on a Saturday night."
"After a little, she closed her door, we were on her bed."
"And we studied a little more until I left."- tryggvi747
Read Beauty And The Beast GIFGiphyBody Heat, Maybe?
"My now wife gives me sh*t about this all the time so it's safe to share here."
"Back when we were dating, it was a cold winter's night and she texted that she was cold and if there was anything I could do to warm her up."
"I offered to plastic seal her windows."
"Yeah I totally missed that pitch."- rcowie
Love And Basketball...
"I ran into a girl who I knew a little through some friends."
"We were talking and she randomly asked if I wanted to play one-on-one basketball with her that afternoon."
"I had nothing else to do, so I said yes."
"We walked to her place to pick up a ball and for her to get changed."
"In her room, she handed me the basketball and then started undressing."
"I excused myself outside the door while she changed."
"She then held conversation with me while she got dressed in my line of sight."
"Then she asked 'So do you want to go, or... ?'"
"And oblivious me said 'Yeah, sure, let's shoot some hoops'."
"In hindsight, there was a lot of one-sided flirting on the court and afterward she again invited me to her place to cool down."
"But I declined, as I was sweaty and I went home to shower."- elevenghosts
Sanaa Lathan Movie GIF by filmeditorGiphyWait For It...
"Looked up at me while clinging to my arm and stating, 'I could definitely see myself dating someone like you'."
"My brain was like, 'Neat! Maybe one day I'll find a girl who wants to go out with me after all!'"
"She continued this rather affectionate clinging for about a week, constantly holding on to my arm and making puppy dog eyes up at me."
"After that week, my friend asked her out and she accepted."
"They dated for two weeks before they discovered that they were blood-related first cousins."
"Then they continued dating for another week."- cascade_olympus
Good For Her For Being Confident?
"We had been hanging out for a bit and she was talking about how nice her t*ts were, she then follows it with 'maybe I should just show them to you'."
"'Oh no you don't need to do that!'"
"Luckily she really liked me and kept the press on for a few more weeks haha."
"We got married a few years later."- iamStanhousen
In Case You Wondered If It Really Impairs Your Judgement...
"My time to shine!"
"I was in college in the early 90's and sitting in my dorm room alone."
"I was high as hell."
"The hot girl down the hall that I had a crush on and spoke to occasionally came to my room and asked if I would watch her dance routine that was her final for her dance class."
"I was like 'sure' and went to her room."
"The room was dark except for some red lighting."
"I sat on the couch and she put on 'Enigma'."
"This was a VERY clear sign that I missed completely."
"She began her dance."
"She was in a unitard and I was totally hot for this girl."
"She did what I would now consider a personal lap dance for me."
"I was petrified with lust over the whole thing."
"When the song was over she came over to me, about 2 inches from my face sexy smiling and said, 'How was that?'"
"I looked at her and said, 'that was really cool, you'll do great', and left."
"I. LEFT."
"I walked back to my room and left."
"YEARS later I was driving my car to work, just daydreaming, like you do, and that memory popped up."
"I would have kicked myself had I been able to."- Luder714
Maybe She Would Have Been Better Off With 'Diego'?
"I was in a Starbucks in Argentina, and the girl taking my order asked my name to write on the cup."
"She didn't understand what I said, and when I picked the cup up, it said 'Diego', which isn't my name."
"Later that night I was chatting with a cute 20-something girl in the bar and I retold that story, and she looked at me with sultry eyes, her top slightly undone, and said something like 'what would Diego do with me tonight that <your name> wouldn't?'"
"It caught me completely off guard, and I said something stupid in return."
"It was like being in the final minutes of the Super Bowl, being tossed the game winning ball, only to fumble it in the end zone on live TV."
"I've lived with that regret a long time haha."
"What could have been."- tennyson77
They Got The Hint Eventually...
"Back in '84, I was working at this cool department store and this was this shy girl I'd chat it up with."
"I talk to anyone, so it was no big deal on my end."
"I was also a movie nut, so I'd say 'Hey, have you seen this or that?' and she'd give me an exasperated look and say 'No. No I haven't I need someone to go with'."
"I'd be like 'Ah, well, it's a good one'."
"We've been married for 33 years."- The68Guns
Nervous New Music GIF by *~ MIQUELA ~*GiphyThey Needed To Be More Into Themsleves!
"In high school a gorgeous girl sent me anonymous love letters."
"I later found out she was the one sending them."
"She also asked me out to this dinner banquet thing."
"We went, but I was so shy I barely said anything."
"She still sent me letters afterwards."
"I had really low self esteem, and made every excuse to myself that she wasn't into me."
"It was like she was holding up a neon sign that she likes me and i didn't do anything about it."- uncultured_swine2099
"Years ago, just chatting with a co-worker day to day, just everyday conversation."
"Then one day, after another normal chit chat passing time casual conversation, she heads out, turns around grabs a pen and she writes her number on my arm and says 'Dude! Call me!'."
"And walked away seemingly frustrated."
"I just kinda stood there with eyebrows raised, my brain turning gears and it clicked!"
"...Oooohh!"- nukomyx
A Joke About Rubbing Organs Is Just Too Obvious...
"As I played the organ, she would turn pages for me and brush her body against my back while moving from right to left behind the organ bench to grab the next page."
"I thought she was rubbing me due to tight quarters between my organ and the choir loft railing."- Back2Bach
Take Me Out To The Ballgame Baseball GIF by NCAA ChampionshipsGiphyIt's easy to kick yourself in the head for missing what might seem like obvious cues that someone was into you.
Though it's really nothing to be embarrassed about, as subtlety is lost on some.
Then too, it's worth mentioning that maybe the reason you missed the cues, is that you weren't into them?
All's fair in love and seduction...
