The Biggest Culture Shocks People Have Experienced At Someone's House
Reddit user mango-chocolate asked: 'What is the biggest cultural shock you experienced when going to someone else's house?'
No two family homes are exactly alike, but some households are wildly different, from how they're decorated to what the family eats to how the family members treat each other.
What's interesting is how two people could be best friends and lead completely different lifestyles when they go home, but their friend might never know that until they go for a visit.
Redditor mango-chocolate asked:
"What is the biggest cultural shock you experienced when going to someone else's house?"
Bad Hostesses
"This is the strangest experience I’ve ever had at someone’s home. I worked with this young Cuban gal as a waitress while I was studying at University."
"She mentioned that her sister needed some help with Math in her Nursing program so I offered to go over and tutor."
"I knew it was a multi-generational house with parents, adult children, grandparents, great-grandparents and babies. When I arrived at the house, only the sister was home."
"She invited me in and started unloading the refrigerator of leftovers and asked if I would like to have some of this, some of that, etc."
"I was genuinely not hungry but she was super persistent and made us some food anyway. She offered me a drink, but I just wanted water. She made herself a Cuban coffee and insisted I have one too."
"Then my friend comes home, and looks at us studying. In front of me, I have snacks, water, and a coffee."
"She begins screaming at her sister in Spanish. I can barely make it out, but she’s mad that her sister didn’t offer me anything to drink or eat. I explained I wasn’t hungry and I had two drinks in front of me, but she was still mad at her sister."
"Their parents came home and they started yelling about the same thing and accusing their daughters of being bad hostesses! I felt bad, and I somehow allowed five drinks to served to me and so much food, I was stuffed for the rest of the day."
"The whole experience was a weird combination of feeling guilty or like I may have insulted them, but also feeling loved and appreciated."
"When my friend introduced me to her family, she introduced me as the woman that would carry all her trays at work while she was pregnant so she didn’t have to lift them. I can’t believe she had even remembered that. I hadn’t until she brought it up. They made me like an honored guest in their home."
- mydogdoesntcuddle
"I’m Cuban. Not offering food or drink to your guest is extremely rude and shameful. And we mean FOOD AND DRINK. Not little finger sandwiches and tea. This even extends to a maintenance person that comes by, or a mail carrier, etc. it’s like grandma culture on steroids."
"Additionally, our intrapersonal communication style is extremely loud and can seem aggressive to others, so they might not have actually been yelling at each other."
"My stepfather is a white American from NYC, and when he saw the way my mother and I spoke to each other when we first started living together he’d constantly be worried asking why we were fighting; we’d have to explain we weren’t fighting, just casually talking."
- Asleep_Sherbet_3013
A Lack of Reading Material
"I hung out with my college roommates' family around Christmas. There were NO books in the house, none. This was early aughts."
"She told me her parents didn't want challenging books in their house to make the kids feel stupid."
"Her parents were professors at our college in the EDUCATION department."
"She (my roommate) and her siblings were f**king stupid."
- angel_inthe_fire
"I have always had a ton of books in almost every room growing up. It came as a shock going to someone's home and NOT seeing a book anywhere."
- GeekyBookWorm87
Loving Families
"When I was a teen, I was genuinely shocked to see that other families actually loved each other and wanted to interact and say nice things to each other."
"I kept expecting it to turn dark, and when it didn’t, I had no idea what to do and felt completely ashamed and out of place."
- MTBeanerschnitzel
Far Too Strict
"As a kid, I visited some friends who had scary 'yes sir/no sir' fathers who were quick to use a belt on them."
"None of those guys turned out well as adults, I might add."
"The funny thing is, my dad was an Army platoon sergeant, yet he was a jovial and easy-going father."
- p38-lightning
Empty Plates Only
"My friend's parents would make them finish their meals, even if they said they were full."
"The meals looked huge to me, and my friend was overweight. It felt depressing."
"If I was full at home, I'd never be pressured to eat absolutely everything if I didn't want to."
- nightsofthesunkissed
An American Breakfast
"I'm a first-generation American (Asian). Due to TV cereal commercials while watching Saturday morning cartoons, I grew up believing that White people would simultaneously have a glass of milk and a glass of OJ in the morning (as part of this complete breakfast)."
"You can imagine my disappointment the day after sleepovers at friends' homes."
- cloudedarcher
"My mom (white) literally did this. I'm not sure if she got it from commercials or something else because she had a weird idea of nutrition on other stuff too, but literally every morning my breakfast included an eight-ounce glass of milk and a four-ounce glass of orange juice."
"The combination is actually terrible. OJ and milk don't mix well in your stomach and drinking them together always made me feel uncomfortable, but it was the kind of household where I got in trouble for not finishing the whole meal."
"A pretty common weekday morning breakfast was a bagel with cream cheese and jam on both halves, some sliced-up strawberries, milk, and OJ. It's way more food than I'd eat for breakfast on a typical day as an adult and I was often uncomfortably full from it as a kid."
- SeaworthySwarth
Not So Messy
"I was raised by two women (my mother and my dad's wife) whose notion of cleanliness was such that rooms were sterile and it looked to me like the point was to make it look like no one lived in our house."
"By contrast, I was used to being called and feeling like I was a 'messy' person because none of those things are priorities to me."
"The first time I went into the house of someone who was truly messy... I'm talking leftover candles from a birthday party that happened two weeks ago still on the dining-room table messy, basement so full of junk the notion of separate rooms has been made abstract... it rearranged the way I looked at myself a little."
- BananasPineapples05
The Importance of Snack Time
"I remember going to a friend’s house after school we sat at the kitchen island and her mom gave us apple wedges with peanut butter and they talked about school."
"I was blown away that her mom just gave out snacks and was interested in her life, I thought it was probably a special occasion since I was there."
"Then I experienced snacks at other friends’ houses."
"I told my mom about the apple wedges and peanut butter once and she screamed at me and said if I wanted a perfect family, why don’t I go live with them? She worked full time and I cooked pasta for my brother and me most nights, there was nothing resembling snacks in the house. We just had meals and drank water."
"As an adult, I have a snacking problem."
- yokizururu
...Excuse Me?
"Back in high school, I visited a friend's house and had to use the bathroom."
"I asked her where the toilet paper was in the bathroom and she said, 'We don't really wipe our butts in this house.'"
- Silent-Bird-4474
Always Say 'I Love You'
"People not saying 'I love you' before leaving or hanging up the phone. I was always taught to say 'I love you' to family before hanging up the phone or saying goodbye."
"You never know when your last goodbye will be so let the last thing you say to a loved one be 'I love you.'"
"A tradition I continue to practice to this day. Yet I think I was the only one who did that in my friend group."
- Herpypony
"My family never said I love you growing up. I asked my mom about it not long ago, and she said her dad never told her, so she didn't know to say it to her kids."
"One of my sisters started saying it, and making us say it, when we were in our 20s. It felt so awkward and weird to say it, but I forced myself. Now, 20 years later, we always say it to each other, and it feels normal. I should ask my sister about why and how she got the idea to start saying it to us."
"It seems so odd to me now that my parents never said I love you to me or my sisters growing up. They showed us, but never said it."
- Zaltara_The_Red
Run Away!
"When my friend's Russian grandmother chased me with a shoe and yelled at me in Russian."
"I didn’t know why she was angry but all my friend would say is that it had something to do with where I put my shoes when I entered the house."
- ArmyRepresentative88
An Awe-Inspiring Breakfast
"I went to the neighbor's house for breakfast one morning before the bus. We were good friends. She's Hindu, and her family is as well."
"It was a culture shock to see and smell the amazing food we had that morning. It wasn't the normal pancakes, eggs, and bacon for Americans."
"I think it was potato latkas with some delicious green spread. God, I wanted to eat all of it, and her mom was so happy I loved it."
"Never before in my life had I had such a different breakfast for me. It was shock and awe I experienced."
- Apprehensive-Skill34
Different Cultures, Different Accessories
"I’m an international student in the USA. I lived with my grand uncle for six months, and one of the cultural shocks that surprised me was that he had carpeted floors in his bathrooms. And also the lack of bidets in America."
- cassiemoonnana
A Kid's Dream
"I went to a friend's house at maybe age nine and was floored that she didn't share a bedroom with her little sister. On top of this, she also had a double bed and a small TV in her room hooked up to a PlayStation 2."
- LittleMsBlue
The Love of the Family
"I learned that other people's parents smiled at them, were nice to them, and seemed to enjoy having them around."
"I rarely experienced any of that. I thought everyone's parents were angry all the time and didn't like them much."
- t_portch
"I had a friend over recently and she thought it was necessary to tell our teenage son how lucky he was to have parents who love him (this was after a few beers)."
"I was kinda taken aback by the comment, given the realization that some parents don't dote on their kids, including my friend. Apparently some don't..."
- MainInTheMT
"Same. I had a best friend who was from Croatia. Her parents loved her and her brother so much, and they definitely weren’t afraid to show it."
"Her dad would hug her every night when he got home. It was absolutely shocking to me."
"I also would intentionally go to her house after school because her mom would have a FEAST waiting for us."
- NuriMoons
You never know what you're going to find before visiting someone else's home, from different decorations and food, to different beliefs about how a family should treat each other.
In a way, it's heartwarming to know that these Redditors were exposed to these different lifestyles, perhaps especially those who didn't know that families could show each other love, so they might have higher standards for their relationships in the future.
It's not surprising that each country is different, with various beliefs and rules, but what is always eye-opening is what one country will deem a basic necessity, another will deem an expensive, even allusive, luxury.
Americans in particular are often perplexed by the luxuries that Europeans are able to enjoy on a daily basis, which Americans would not be able to have without paying a premium.
Redditor Specialist-Metal-458 asked:
"Americans, what do Europeans have every day that you see as a luxury?"
Required Vacation Time
"My husband (we’re Canadian) did his post-doc in Finland; when he was signing his contract, they said, 'You’ll get six weeks paid vacation and you HAVE to take it.'"
"He was shocked. He had friends elsewhere doing post-docs who were doing 14-hour work days, six to seven days per week, and with no vacation, let alone PAID vacation."
"One of the years when he was nearing the end of his cycle, HR reached out and in a panic said, 'You have 3.5 days that you HAVE to use,' unbeknownst to us. So, we booked a trip for an extended weekend away."
"I miss that. And it’s something we both negotiate when starting new jobs; rather take a bit of a lower salary with more vacation time."
- ahope1985
Paid-Paid Vacation
"Six weeks vacation, extra pay just for vacation (at least in Germany), government healthcare."
- Royal_Acanthisitta51
"Wait. Is that paid... paid vacation??"
- a**lly_ExpressUrself
"Yes, lots of companies give half a month extra pay for vacation each year. Some also give half a month's extra pay for Christmas. It's like, 'Here's some extra money for you to have a nice vacation or a nice holiday.' It's quite common for larger companies."
- DnDVex
"I am an American who is now living in Sweden and a Swedish citizen, and I will never NOT be amazed that I have the legal right to four continuous weeks of paid vacation during the summer. THE LEGAL RIGHT."
"Literally amazing."
- ingenfara
Affordable Drinks
"This is only really true for Southern Europe, but cheap wine by the glass, cheap coffee, and pastries."
"Cafes in the US are marketed as very trendy and if you want a pastry and a coffee, you should be ready to pay eight to ten dollars. In most of Italy, Portugal, and Spain, you can get coffee and a croissant for three euros (approximately three dollars)."
- kulkdaddy47
Particularly Affordable Wine
"Where I live in Spain, the standard price for a glass of wine in a cafe or every day (non-fancy, equivalent of a diner) restaurant is 80c - €1. In a restaurant, I’ll usually order a half liter for about €4 (That’s 2/3 bottle of wine)."
"Soda and bottled water are more expensive. Soda is usually €1.20-1.60."
- KimchiMaker
"At Denver International Airport last month, I paid $23 for a glass of wine that I know would cost about $7 per bottle at Costco. Probably €4 per bottle in Italy. It was like getting robbed in broad daylight without a gun, but I get really nervous before flying."
- Missmoneysterling
Slower Living
"Time! I spent time abroad in Italy for school, and there was just so much less of a 'rush' everywhere. Oftentimes the latest person to my classes were professors. Everyone really took their time and I didn't really feel the bustle of constantly 'going' somewhere when I was there."
"I mean, dang, the village my apartment was located in shut down for a few hours in the afternoon so the shopkeepers could go have lunch. It was wild."
- SpaceMush
University-Bound
"Affordable universities… our daughter is going to university in Scotland. Our US friends always respond with shock at the 'luxury' of going overseas for school until I tell them it’s half of the cost of an equivalent US college. That includes travel expenses."
- Crafty-Arachnid6824
Accessible Public Transportation
"This blew me away traveling in Europe. It doesn’t matter where you are, even if it’s some middle-of-nowhere farm town, you’re never far from a train station, and you can just hop a train and go anywhere you want."
"I would love to have that here, but noooo, we only have rail links between some major cities, and since I live in a more rural area, I have to drive four or more hours everywhere. In Europe, all I had to do was drive 20 minutes to a train station and then just chill on the train for a few hours. It was great!"
- SirTophamFat
Well-Balanced Work
"An American friend of ours was gobsmacked that I have a well-paid, head of department level job, don't work unpaid overtime, and get 33 days paid holiday a year, with eight days of public holiday on top."
- Major_Twain
Extensive Travel
"They can travel between different countries in Europe without spending days driving or flying."
- WhimsicalGrenade
"And without border controls or checkups! I can just sit in a car here in Germany and drive to France and all the other EU countries, just realizing I’m in another country because of the traffic signs."
"Once I sat in a Train and slept in, after like 30 minutes I woke up, got off the Train, and realized I’m in Enschede, Netherlands. (Living in NRW, so pretty close to the border). I was like Hm, okay, I've got 50€ in my pocket, so I decided to visit a coffee shop and walk a bit through the City until the next Train in the right direction arrived. Like I’d do in every other City while traveling by train."
- DisguisedAccount
Publicly Acceptable
"Being able to walk around town with a beer is awesome."
"Public transportation in non-huge cities is also awesome."
- ooo-ooo-oooyea
Bathroom Conditions
"Bathroom stalls that actually go to the floor. I don’t need to know what shoes the guy taking a s**t next to me has on."
- maxncheese67
"Don't forget the intentional gaps on the doors."
- jensbert
E. All of the Above.
"Healthcare. Life work balance. Walkable communities. Great train service."
- zunzarella
Legitimate Sick Days
"I recently read a post about an American residential doctor who couldn't afford to take a vacation because they had to spend it on sick days."
"Not going to lie, my brain short-circuited at that a bit. Was a doctor supposed to come sick to a hospital full of other sick people to avoid personal financial penalties?"
- HQMorganstern
Paid Parental Leave
"Paid parental leave. I had used all of my leave with my first kid, so when I had another kid a year and a half later, I was back on my feet teaching in under six weeks."
"Dogs get better treatment than working mothers."
- ElegantGoose
The Need of a Car
"Not having to use a car every single time that you leave your house... For a lot of people, you have to go drive somewhere to safely take a walk... This place can be a h**l, and it is numbing."
- _aelius
It's All About Perspective
"As a European, I'm amazed how you guys (Americans) are looking at certain things I consider basic needs as luxuries."
- FridgeParade
As the final Redditor pointed out, it's terrible to think that Americans see what others view as basic necessities as a luxury that they can only dream of having.
Though it's often used as the butt of jokes, there's still a lot to appreciate in the United States, whether you live there or are visiting.
But there are also a lot of things that leave onlookers infinitely perplexed about what it's actually like to live in the United States and why they do things like that.
Redditor DadIsMadAtMe asked:
"What’s the hardest thing for you to comprehend about the American culture?"
School Pride!
"School mascots. Where I live, we just have teams and just play matches against people."
"In America, it’s all like, 'GO, EASTTOWN EAGLES!!! OOGACHACKA!' and there would be some person in a cheapo eagle suit spinning a basketball on his fingers or something. You would have a full dramatic cheerleader dance-off before your match, we just shake hands and stare hard at each other."
- benderbrodriguez2
No Child Left Behind
"Canadian here on spring break in Florida."
"I can't get over the baseline... I don't know how to say it, the baseline education level? There are smart people, but there are also completely uneducated people. Like, the divide is massive."
- Spiffydude98
Little-To-No Paid Time Off
"Having two weeks vacation or no PTO (Personal Time Off) for most."
"In my current country, you have to take two weeks of mandatory leave in a row. Including public holidays, I get about seven weeks of vacation per year."
- poor_decision
Financial Debt Culture
"How casual debt is, how easy it is to take loans and credit cards out in other people's names without their knowledge, and how casual it is to rack up huge amounts of debt."
- StrangeDarkling
...Enough Said.
"College fraternities."
- Gorazde
Where's the Poutine?
"Americans love french fries, cheese, and gravy, but poutine never took off south of the border. Always found that odd."
- righhanddan
Zero-Tolerance Policies
"The zero-tolerance rule... Who came up with that s**t? The victim is the one who is f**ked. Either he gets bullied or he gets a penalty for defending himself."
- vomahaf244
Political Followers
"A lot of people follow and worship politicians like they’re gods with flags and all that s**t. In the UK, it’s universally acknowledged that we hate all politicians pretty much equally."
- Monkeytennis01
Tipping Culture
"Having to tip almost everywhere. It definitely makes sense at some places, but feel like we have to tip at the most random of places these days."
- Educational_Word_647
Cultural Appropriation
"I speak as a Latin American, just setting that down on the table."
"I don’t get why people think that using something from my culture or showing interest in Latin culture is 'cultural appropriation.' I’ve even spoken to a lot of people in my culture about this thing and we all think it’s alright."
- OG_sweaterguy
Healthcare
"Your healthcare system, it's so complicated and expensive. And people going bankrupt because they get sick, what bulls**ttery is this?"
- MrTempleDene
The Stereotypical American Eagle
"American here, fun fact! That stereotypical screech you commonly hear associated with the bald eagle is actually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles do not make that sound. They make more of a weird (way less cool) chirping sound."
"I was too old when I learned this for the first time."
- ay-aye-ron
Plus Tax... What?
"Why don't they include tax in the total price of something? Just include it and make life easier. I don't want to have to do maths every time I go there and buy something."
- Old_Understanding325
Not In That Exact Order
"You are allowed to drive a car at 16, own guns, and sign up for the military at 18. But alcohol, behold the devil's liquid!, is only for 21+. The math ain't mathin'."
- lover_of_wisdom_
Money Money Money Money
"Lobbying."
"Legal bribery, what the h**l."
"Also, why do you have to do your taxes? If the Government, in the end, knows if what you paid was what you actually owed, why not just tell you."
- Lolleos
People looking in on the United States definitely had some questions about the people who live there and the systems they have to observe. But the big secret is that many Americans are asking the same exact questions.
People Share The Things That Seem Normal In Their Country But Weird Everywhere Else
When we are exposed to something every day we become desensitized to it and it can come to seem completely normal. To anyone on the outside looking at the custom, it probably makes no sense whatsoever
Reddit user u/ifoundtheavocado asked:
"What's normal in your country but seems weird to the rest of the world?"19.
Rudely standing infront of doors of train and busses and hurridly getting on and thus making it difficult for people to get off.
18.
We don't sit beside strangers on the bus unless it's absolutely necessary. Most people would rather stand.
17.
We normally take more than a bath per day, we also have a habit of brushing our teeth on places like our job/school. We generally eat sandwiches with napkins and pizza with forks and knives.
I feel like we have a problem with germs.
16.
Dancing like frog around a giant dick then putting flowers under your pillow to dream of the person you're going to marry
14.
That the party with the most votes never appears to be able to form a coalition. It's been like that since the formation of our country.
Also, the suspiciously varying prices. Stuff that costs 1€ elsewhere can cost 3€ but we still get sh*t like meat at extravagantly low prices
Edit: Slovenia
12.
Wake house. When someone passes away the open coffin is set up in their living room or bedroom for around 3 days so that friends and family can visit before the funeral.
10.
Yelling the names of various diseases to people who are foolish enough to walk on the bike path
Sounds like the Netherlands
9.
If someone offers you ANYTNING. And I mean ANYTHING, you MUST say no A LOT until the person is practically begging you to take it. Then only if the other person has begged you enough should you take the item.
This can be anything. Food, money, etc.
I'm Iranian.
Jim: Hey, Greg. Want a chip?
Greg: No no it's fine
Jim: Take a chip, man. Come on. Here have one.
Greg: No no it's fine. No no please. Please eat your chip
Jim: Take the chip, Greg. Please. Greg, PLEASE. Take the chip. You NEED to take it.
Greg: Jim, no. You're too kind. I can't. I just can't do it. Jim, I'm sorry. No no. Please. Eat it.
Jim: On the verge of tears GREG PLEASE. PLEASE GREG. PLEASE. TAKE THE CHIP TAKE IT.
Greg: Oh heavens. Jim, I shouldn't. Jim please. Jim I really shouldn't. Okay. I'll do this. I'll do it for you. I'll take the chip.
And then life continues on.
8.
Having an air-raid shelter in nearly every house despite being neutral.
Switzerland, is that you?
7.
Here it is very common to say «I have to pee» or something like that when you have to go. No matter the situation. I didn't really think about it until I saw a video making fun of it since people from other countries think it's super weird.
6.
People giving their keys to strangers so they can drive them home when they are drunk during the Holidays.
Canada is weird. Do you guys trust everyone who cross your way lol. It's hard to belive you don't get in trouble very often
In Winnipeg it's called Operation Red Nose (like Rudolph). Should be starting up soon and runs until just after the New Year.
5.
In many all bathrooms we still use a bin next to the toilet for the used toilet paper. In many old buildings the sewage piping is of small diameter so throwing toilet paper into the toilet causes blockages.
When I hear that in other countries they throw even sanitary pads into the toilet I am like WTF?!?!??!
I am from Greece
4.
Massive food portions. It's so common that when people see a normal food portion they think of it as small.
3.
Gun licenses and marriage licenses are issued from the same desk, which doesn't issue any other kind of license.
2.
Quebec English. There are words and phrases that don't exist anywhere else, and English speakers in the rest of Canada don't understand. Things like "dep" (short form of Quebec French depanneur meaning corner store). Phrases like "close" the light instead of turn off.