I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're not a kid anymore.
You can't get up to the same weird shenanigans that you did when you were 10- our old, adult selves are no longer built like they once were.
And sometimes you're reminded of it a little too much.
Redditor antglin asked:
"What was your most "I'm too old for this sh*t" moment?"
TRUTH.
Going back to college at 25 with a ton of teenagers.
Talk about drama.
Going back to college, then thinking after seeing today's crowd of freshmen, "when did this school allow middle schoolers on campus?"
Hangovers are worse when you're over 21.
Went to a party Saturday night.
I'm still hungover.
Right. What the hell? You woke up hungover in high school and it was like a sweet victory and you're were amazed by how hard you partied. Today, you're not firing on all 4 cylinders until Thursday.
Giphy
Smart move.
Working at a Amazon Fulfillment Center. Just turn 56, will be leaving them in the middle of February 2020 and I can't wait for that to happen. Just have to make it through peak.
The reason I'm waiting until February, I can do the buy out and leave with a extra $5,000.
When whole adults act like high schoolers.
When my coworker (known for gossiping and stirring the pot) texted me out of the blue and said "we're not friends anymore, we're just coworkers".
I didn't even respond, just thought "nope too old for any of this". I still don't know what I did wrong and I don't care.
Giphy
Those youngin's.
The last time I stayed at a hostel. The people who go out and then come back in at like 2am and use their phones as a flashlight, plus the thin walls and even thinner mattresses mean no sleep.
I'm young enough that I still wanna save a buck on lodging, but old enough that my back and nerves can't deal.
Ok, boomer?
When I got called a boomer on the internet
I'm 21????
Anyone can get called a boomer. Even Gen Z kids call each other boomers.
I needed to hear this.
When I first realized I do not owe people a long, in-depth analysis/explanation about Anything.
You ever have work acquaintances that pry about your personal life. When you're young you over share, giving your rivals a way in.
Being disagreeable is a skill set not every adult attains, and limiting information and keeping choice individuals at arms length is key to not getting walked all over. To quote El-P "Fuck the world don't ask me for shit".
Giphy
Going home and sleeping is the better option.
Standing in a crowded club that smelt like a mixture of cheap vodka, b.o., and the fog from those fog machines. Girl drunkenly waves at me, "hey can you take a picture of me and my friends?"
Homegirl wasn't wearing shoes. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
Irish goodbyes are liberating.
Was at a concert in a nightclub. My pregnant wife was at home, I had work the next day, and didn't want to pay 7$ for a crappy beer. I didn't feel like drinking or like fighting the crowd to be in the front. Why was I there? I did an Irish exit and got a good sleep that night.
As opposed to the British goodbye: you loudly tell everyone you're leaving over and over, but then keep not quite actually going out the door.
Relatable.
I turned 24 two Saturdays ago. I bought a 6 pack on Friday night. Come Sunday night, 4/6 were still remaining.
I'm 24.
Giphy
Never too old for Halloween!
I went trick-or-treating when I was 15 (I dressed up as Perry the Platypus). As I was walking around with my little sister (9) and her friends, I met some of my classmates passing out candy. I had never felt more shame.
This one has a happy ending.
Went with a friend (we'll call her "Dee") to a mutual friend's wedding (the groom) in my old town. I was also pretty good friends with the bride. You could argue that Dee went as my "plus one" because Dee had not gotten an invitation, but she and I and the groom used to hang out ALL THE TIME for the better part of a year just a few years prior.
Note: such hanging out involved such exciting activities as binge watching Family Guy and going out to get Applebee's late at night, it had stopped a good year before the bride and groom even met; that's possibly important. Also, I'd moved across the country a year earlier.
It was a good time and a nice ceremony and I got to catch up with old friends. Dee and I skipped the reception because of distance and the amount of time it was after the ceremony.
So we instead opted to go see other mutual friends together. It was a great, quick trip.
Two weeks later I'm back across the country and Dee calls me while I'm out to eat. She's sobbing like crazy and tells me that the bride from the wedding had sent her a vicious email.
Apparently the bride was beyond furious that she had showed up to the wedding because the bride, somewhere in the two previous years, had gotten the idea that Dee was spreading rumors about her and her maid of honor.
I don't know how effectively I can convey here that this was ABSOLUTLEY NOT TRUE and so baseless it confounds me to this day. The bride apparently called her all kinds of horrible names and said Dee ruined her honeymoon because she was so incensed.
I came home to an email also from the bride that was calling me a terrible friend for bringing Dee to her wedding because "you know how I feel about her and the kinds of things she's done!" (Again, let me emphasize, ALL OF THAT WAS BASELESS AND (TO ME) OUT OF NOWHERE!).
Prior to this stage in my life I'd have gotten worked up, responded to the drama, pushed back, the whole package. Instead I saw this stupid high-school-level drama for what it was, how it wasn't worth arguing for the defense of Dee or my "decision" to bring her to the wedding, and that (as unfortunate as it was) my friendship with this bride and groom was over.
I deleted the message.
I called Dee and advised she do the same, which she did. Neither of us have had contact with that woman or her husband in 12 years, now.
Fun fact: Dee ended up moving to the city I lived in after all this, under unrelated circumstances, and a year after that we started dating and are now married. That's how I can say with assurance that Dee is innocent of the accusations leveled at her: nothing in her character in all the years I've known her, and known her well, have suggested that's in her nature.
[deleted]
NO SHOTS.
I was at the tail end of my going on too long party years and I had quit shots by that point. I explained to a 21 year old who asked why I wouldn't do shots that the hangover at my age would be too brutal. They were unaware until then that as you age hangovers get worse.
[deleted]
Giphy
Awkward.
When an old coworker tried to start sh*t by spreading rumors about me. I don't deal with that bs, so I confronted her to her face and asked what her issue was and if we could talk about it. She stood there dumbfounded and then abruptly said "I have to pee" and dipped.
She hasn't spoken to me since then, even though we continued to work together for another few months before I quit to take on a better position.
Funnily enough, she's actually my aunt-in-law now (I'm dating her husbands nephew - she's 28 and I'm 20, for context on that) which was the case before all of this but I wasn't going to dump my boyfriend because of her, so I still have to see her at family functions. But she's too scared to even look me in the eye so it's not really an issue.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Share The Situations That Make Them Think 'I'm Too Old For ... ›
- People Share The Craziest Thing They've Ever Seen A Coworker Do Without Being Fired - George Takei ›
- Former Members Of Hate Groups Recount Their 'I Gotta Get Outta Here' Stories - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.