Thoughtful People Reveal The Simple Epiphanies That Changed Their Lives
Thoughtful People Reveal The Simple Epiphanies That Changed Their Lives
[rebelmouse-image 18361438 is_animated_gif=It's always such an interesting, refreshing experience to have a simple thought which changes the entire way you approach situations throughout your life. These thoughts can build over time or they can come completely out of nowhere. And sometimes, other people even impart their own wisdom onto us.
Redditor Orieonma came curiously to the internet for some insight into their own personal epiphanies:
Here were some of the answers.
The Getting There
[rebelmouse-image 18361439 is_animated_gif=I don't hate my job, I hate my commute.
Your Own Path
[rebelmouse-image 18361440 is_animated_gif=That I didn't need to reach the same milestones as other people unless I wanted to. That my goals in life could be different from my peers
A Metaphor
[rebelmouse-image 18361441 is_animated_gif=I once took a drink of soda when I thought it was milk. It was the most disgusting thing. But I like soda. It made me realize that whether you like something or not is just as much about expectation as it is about what you're actually getting...
What's Gonna Come Will Come
[rebelmouse-image 18346096 is_animated_gif=While watching a play of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern for an AP Lit class my senior year of high school, something they said really clicked. They were having the existential crisis towards the end of the play, scared of what was coming next since their time was up, in accordance to Hamlet.
"But if we don't know what comes next, why be afraid of it?"
For some reason that's stuck with me, don't fear the unknown, because you can't know until you face it. The nightmares of what comes after death haven't come back since.
Piling Up
[rebelmouse-image 18359200 is_animated_gif=I used to be lazy and a procrastinator. Behind on credit cards, behind on tax returns, mail unopened, bill collectors calling, dishes piling up in the sink.
I saw a psychologist, and he pointed out that I was making my own life very difficult. Penalties and interest were costing me thousands. Letting small problems multiply was creating much more effort later on. "Laziness is hard work," he said. "Staying on top of things simply makes life easier."
It was the exact opposite of my philosophy at the time. It seemed "easy" to ignore things and let it all pile up around me. But in reality every day was a slog and a chore. I had a constant buzz of worry in my head about the things I was putting off.
Today, my house is clean, my credit score is 780, and my tax refund should arrive any day now. Not because I'm some sort of awesome go-getter, but because I want my life to be easy and carefree. Laziness is just too much hard work.
The Word Is No
[rebelmouse-image 18350482 is_animated_gif=You can say no. Oh you can say no, you can say no to the guy asking you a question unsolicited, you can refuse flyers, you can say no to the cashier when she asks do you want to donate to the children's cancer fund? It doesn't make me an a-hole, I just don't want it and I can deny it if I so choose.
Work And Loss
[rebelmouse-image 18361442 is_animated_gif=I realized the other day that when you're trying working to improve yourself you might lose a couple relationships, but that is not always a bad thing. Losing that relationship just means they are not making you better or they are not helping you move towards your goals, and you will develop relationships in the process that are are after their goals and they will help you reach your goals and better yourself.
My roommates have been making comments about my life style lately that aren't true. Making claims that I'm wasting my life and getting nothing done. We are all college aged and I am currently working a full time job so I will be able to pay for school while all their money comes from their families.
I realized that they don't have a clue what I'm doing with my life and that I don't have to deal with them past this semester, so why bother my self with people who are bringing me down making me feel like it's my fault. They are the ones slowing me down. So I decided I'm moving out on my own to focus on my life without them.
Look For Reasons To Be Happy
[rebelmouse-image 18361443 is_animated_gif=Being negative doesn't make me any happier. It's okay to get upset but always complaining and focusing on the negative doesn't make me happy. I found that if I can recognize the things to be grateful for, I am a much happier and content person.
Three Sizes
[rebelmouse-image 18361444 is_animated_gif=Keep your head up.
When I was a kid I usually looked down at my feet when walking or standing around, even while talking to people.
I vividly remember walking to school one day when I was 15 years old and thinking to myself why are you looking at your feet? Nobody is going to respect you if you can't look them in the face.
So I looked up and have done so ever since. I think my self-esteem grew 3 sizes that day.
Self-Awareness
[rebelmouse-image 18361445 is_animated_gif=That I can be a toxic person. I was always the victim and hurt others in the process
Now I'm just trying to improve and be a better person.
Poison Outside
[rebelmouse-image 18361446 is_animated_gif=That you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Helped me cut off toxic relationships which were making my life miserable.
Solving Social Anxiety
[rebelmouse-image 18361447 is_animated_gif=That nobody cared about me. I don't mean that to be depressive. I get anxious in party-type situations. I was going to a wedding and was anxious about people's expectations. My dad had had enough, stopped me, and asked whose wedding it was. I said "Jim's" and he said, "oh, not yours?" I said no. To which he then replied "nobody cares about you here. Your only job is to show up, eat if you want, dance if you want, but realize you can sit on your a** the entire night and it will effect nobody."
I've never been anxious at events since then.
How To Be In Control
[rebelmouse-image 18361448 is_animated_gif=That I to some extent can control my mood. Had been feeling a bit down for a few days in a row. I met someone on my walk to the tube. Who smiled and said good morning. I realised I felt a tiny bit more happy. So on the rest of my walk to the tube, the tube ride and the short walk before I was going to be at work I made it my mission to look everyone I got the chance to in the eye. Smile and at least give a small nod good morning or say it out loud.
By the time I arrived at work I feel rather upbeat and in a good mood. That was the day I realised I really could control my mood, and decide if I wanted to be in a good mood or not that day.
Beautiful Thoughts
[rebelmouse-image 18361449 is_animated_gif=People aren't AGAINST me, they're FOR themselves. That makes me not an enemy, but a resource. I am responsible for myself as a resource and if I think I am taken advantage of, I've every right to remove myself from their lives. I am a privilege, not a right.
Unpacking Emotions
[rebelmouse-image 18361450 is_animated_gif=Emotions make a lot more sense after realising I can be feeling two or more different emotions at the same time. I guess that's what is meant by emotional literacy.
Representing Yourself Well
[rebelmouse-image 18347824 is_animated_gif=It matters what people think.
I used to be 'that guy' who always buried my nose in a book and it earned me a reputation as thinking I'm better than everyone else but now that I've closed that chapter in my life and began interacting with those around me, my life has improved dramatically.
For example, I shoot the sh** with the old-timers at the gym now. They think I'm a good guy and one of them gave me a heads up about a job opening at his company and put in a good word for me. I ended up getting hired. If I didn't care what people thought and indulged my natural, bookish tendencies; I'd be in a dead-end job right now.
Discipline
[rebelmouse-image 18361451 is_animated_gif=If I want to stop unhealthy behaviors (drinking too much, eating junk, being lazy) all I need to do is stop doing it. Simple as that. No mind games. No excuses. Just don't do it. It's not hard. It's discipline.
Idk why that just clicked for me one day.
What It Means To You
[rebelmouse-image 18361452 is_animated_gif=Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.
I had a really hard time forgiving someone, and then it just hit me: "let it go, it doesn't really matter, and it's hurting yourself." During the time I was angry at the person and I couldn't forgive them, I knew the logic behind forgiving someone is that you are forgiving them for your benefit, not for them, but I couldn't let the anger go. I don't know how I was able to finally forgive, there is no secret for that, I guess just time. But when I had that epiphany of just let it go, it changed my life because the anger lifted and I was happier in all aspects in my life. There should be a life hack to get over these emotional obstacles like forgiveness or getting rejected.
Real Motivation
[rebelmouse-image 18346747 is_animated_gif=I was overweight and unhappy with myself and one day it hit me as i asked myself "what am I waiting for, do something about it". This energizing clarity came over me as I realized what the f*** am I waiting for, I'm just going to keep being unhappy. So I started eating right and excersizing. lost 60 lbs.
Moving Up
[rebelmouse-image 18361453 is_animated_gif=The popular kids at school never really put me down. I put myself there. I was so insecure about myself that I just projected my own feelings onto their actions.
Definitions Of Success
[rebelmouse-image 18361454 is_animated_gif=That I don't need more qualifications to be successful, I am already successful, that work is NOT my identity, does not provide me with my self-worth. That I am enough as I am in this moment. That I am smart, capable and that I do not need to follow societies ideals of what a woman is supposed to be. No one tells me what to do, I fit no man's mold. I am who I am. And I am responsible for my own happiness no one else is. I've let go of the past, I've let go of the pressures and I am free.
Growing Up
[rebelmouse-image 18359597 is_animated_gif=This is one that definitely made me less anxious about growing up. When I was younger I was incredibly intimidated about doing "grown up" things like going to the bank, going to the doctor's alone, etc. I just assumed that you had to know exactly where to go, who to talk to and what to do. Well, I realized how ridiculous that was. No one expects someone else to know everything and people who work with the public anticipate that they will be asked questions. All you really need to do to be prepared for accomplishing things in adulthood is be polite, smile and ask somene how to do the thing you're trying to do. If someone ever gives you gruff about it, remember that they are the -sshole, not you.
Maturity
[rebelmouse-image 18361455 is_animated_gif=I was on a date with someone who I'd nervously asked out after we both got killed in a LARP. Toward the end of dinner she says that she's not really interested in dating me but that she thinks we'd be great friends. At that moment, it.... felt like a video game. As if a red orb of angst floated to me and a dialogue box popped up with options and I realized that I had totally the option to accept that this was a bit unfortunate but we could still have a fun time. I chose that and had this "doot-doot-do-do-ding!" Play in my head that I'd leveled-up in terms of emotional maturity. We went to the bookstore and had a great rest of our evening.
We remain friends, though have drifted apart since I moved abroad.
Your Reward
[rebelmouse-image 18361456 is_animated_gif=Do things for their own sake. Don't go to work to make a paycheck. Work to work. Don't love for sex, marriage or kids. Love to love. Clean to clean not to have a clean room. Expectations lead to disappointment. It will still feel wonderful when you get that promotion, get married, have a clean home but when things fall apart (which given enough time everything will) it's okay. Stop being in love and start loving. Stop being musical and play music. It's this mentality that has made me a much better man in so many ways. I'm much stronger and resilient. A good exercise is to make something like a painting or a story, pour your heart out into it and when it's done throw it away. Clean up a street that is not your own. If you can appreciate maintaining, creating, building and destroying itself you have learned to appreciate things as they are. It's so much easier to do things now that there is less fear of failure.
Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences
Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!