People Break Down Which Things Scream 'I'm Having A Midlife Crisis'
Ümit Yıldırım/Unsplash

Red sports cars have been a mid-life crisis trope for as long as there have been red sports cars and lives have had mids.

But for real, nobody is affording them in this economy. And if we could, we couldn't gas them up anyway.

But broke folk deserve a crisis, too! Probably more than anyone who can afford a sports car...


Reddit user morphgb706 asked

"What's a middle life crisis for people who could never afford a sports car?"


So let's get it, readers.

Let's find out what's giving "mid-life crisis in the middle of a financial and sociopolitical catastrophe."

Air Guitar Is Cheaper

"Buying an electric guitar without even knowing how to play. Then hanging it on the wall in your mancave because you gave up after a couple weeks."

- FonzieScheme_

"I recently hauled my bass guitar out of retirement when I saw all the vast storehouse of glorious YouTube tutorials that take the Guitar Hero/Rockband model to make learning to play a real instrument on your own super interesting and engaging. Not repetitive and frustrating as it was back in the 90s! So, if anyone out there has a sweet axe gathering dust, plug her in and tune* her up."

"*Fender has a free tuning app. It’s a million times better than the sh*tty electric tuner you paid too much for back in 1997 and needs a 9v battery and a 1/4in to 3.5mm adapter to use."

- sadhandjobs

"My dad has thousands of dollars in guitar equipment, (And I mean like, multiple Fenders, Gibsons, and I think he even has a Rickenbacker.) so like 10 electric guitars and some cheap acoustics, a ton of pedals, amps, etc. And he only went to guitar classes for about a year, then proceeded to never practice after he stopped going to the classes, resulting in only knowing how to play basic chords and part of one song. So this is very, very accurate."

- LadyDalama

Mask Guitar GIFGiphy

Arcade For Me And ...

"I just built an arcade machine in my man cave for the friends I no longer get to hang with."

"Does that count?"

- ToyDingo

"I turned part of my garage into a chill spot and set up all the old systems I've accumulated over the years; Dreamcast, Saturn, N64, Atari 2600, SNES, etc."

"As I finished and sat back at what I created I thought 'All ready for me and the boys...when that will be I do not know..'."

- snowshoeBBQ

"Man I feel that."

"I setup the arcade with all the old skool games we used to play. All the Tekkens, NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, etc. Then sat back and realized "I haven't seen the boyz in 2 years...:*("

- ToyDingo

Bread Making

"Getting heavily into making sourdough bread."

- nullrecord

"It’s the second most talked about topic my dad has. The first is a game called Sea of Thieves."

- RainbowShitsnGiggles

"I'm 35 and I just got super into bread baking lol. It's cheap, simple ingredients, yet so deceptively nuanced and I love it. Also you get fresh bread!"

- LeonesgettingLARGER

"There’s a guy like that at my work. Bakes bread as a hobby build a wood fired oven in his back yard"

- Gearhead_guy

"This is an extra funny thing to me. I’d worked in a bakery makeing sourdough in my late 20’s. Just a few months before the pandemic i got back into it. Imagine my surprise when everyone is suddenly making sourdough. I felt like a bread hipster lol"

- maximum_overdumb

Kneading Brant Daugherty GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphy

Get The Band Back Together

"Trying to start a band, even better if it's a punk band."

- Muaddib930

"Lol I’m turning 40 in a couple months and was just thinking I should get a band together!"

- PATT3RN_AGA1NST-US3R

"I turn 40 in august and tuned my bass the other day after 15 years of neglect. Oi, oi, oi!!"

- sadhandjobs

"Punk is an EXCELLENT option if u have no money AND no natural musical ability."

- Batholomy

"Damn, I'm 38 and just started playing post-rock with some friends. Even worse is realising that post-rock is the new dad rock"

- pselodux

Fitness

"I'm 40 and in better shape than I ever was as a teenager."

"Start lifting."

- FnAardvark

"I got into boxing in my late 30’s, and can confirm 40 year old me is in better shape than teenage me"

- notorious_tcb

"Reddit acts like once you hit 30 your body immediately breaks down and there is no hope. Like a line is crossed."

"I’m going to the gym and have a better body at 37 than I ever had at 19."

- Noggin-a-Floggin

Bounty Hunter Dog GIF by DefyTVGiphy

Different Kind Of Smokeing

"Getting really into smoking meat"

- ooperbang6

"Literally sitting next to my meat filled smoker right now."

- monkey_boy45

"I just wanna grill for God’s sake"

- A_KULT_KILLAH

"Bruh, just smoked chicken thighs last night after doing a garlic, thyme, and savory brine. Bourbon barrel chips."

"If this is what's left of life for me, I'll take it. Some of the best food I've ever had has been from my ceramic smoker."

- N0SF3RATU

"Hahaha that's me. There's a 12lbs brisket in my freezer I have absolutely no plan for, it was just on sale and I'm not not gonna get it."

- TheClayroo

"Listen here you little sh*t.."

- Th3_Accountant

Video Games Cooking GIF by Far Cry 6Giphy

Like Joseph

"At 47, I just started woodworking. In retrospect, it would have been cheaper to just buy the damn sports car."

- ubeor

"I always wanted to do this! My grandpa had the most amazing barn filled with wood, table saws, you name it. It smelled amazing of course. He made beautiful furniture and always had Mt Dew and snickers ice cream bars in the fridge :)"

- aWormhatForVermhat

"Its like I always tell my spouse "Why buy this for $400 when I could easily build it for $800"

- rachman77

Lisa Simpson Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

Landscape Architecture

"A perfectly manicured lawn."

- MPC55_

"I tell you hwhat"

- RoseyDove323

"Why does anyone do drugs when they could mow a lawn"

- chief_dlitt

"I didn't expect to be attacked like this. Especially on Father's Day."

- TokyoKazama

"FUGGGgG!"

"Was just admiring mine on my deck as I read this. I hate you!"

- Kevherd

"Since buying my first house, I have got to say. There is something supremely satisfying about having the nicest lawn on the street. I got a compliment on my lawn when I moved in from a random on the street , and ever since I have been chasing that high."

"I spent $600 on soil improver and weed and feed 3 months ago, just to make sure my reign of lawn supremacy can continue"

- PanzerBiscuit

Working 9-5

"As a lifelong slacker who has gone through job after job and just generally been a permanent hot mess, my mid life crisis seems to be finding joy and peace in having a 9-5 job and health insurance."

- bacchic_frenzy

"Dude, that's me right now!"

"I finally realized I want stability and comfort. All the partying and crazy projects and boozing, women, etc. were really just masking the pain of not having stability. I finally have a regular job and I kind of love it."

"Sh*ts crazy."

- chairhats

"The ol switcheroo"

- AgoraiosBum

"Mid life tranquility"

- tuckerdogs71

"I got a new job across the country in a city I’ve always been interested in. Despite knowing no one there. Mix it up is my midlife crisis."

- PrayForMojo_

dolly parton telephone GIF by London Theatre DirectGiphy

Midlife Awakening.

"A midlife crisis or 'midlife awakening' isn't so much about buying new 'toys'."

"It's acknowledging the fact you have more years/days behind you than ahead of you."

"Some people react to this realization by creating "bucket lists" and trying to accomplish everything on their list whether it is practical or not."

"In other instances, money and timing were the reasons why a person didn't get what they dreamed of while younger but now they are in a position to have it "society" tells them it's too late."

"The pricing of the 2022 Chevrolet Corvette starts at $60,900 for the coupe and $68,400 for the convertible for the base. Not many 20 (something year olds) can afford such a car!"

"However, a guy in his 40s is probably in a better position to buy that car but he's told he's going through a "midlife crisis" when the reality is he can finally afford his dream car!"

"We tell people at their high school graduation to never give up on their dreams."

"However, within the "fine print" is an expiration date in which society expects you to abandon them."

"Life is a personal journey. If there is something you've always wanted to do go for it."

" 'The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.' - W.M. Lewis"

" 'Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.'- Paulo Coelho"

" 'The world may not owe you anything, but you owe yourself the world!'- Kevin Darné"

"Best wishes!"

- lovealert911

Be honest, did any of you make this feel personally attacked?

I know it wasn't just me...

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