People Reveal The Most F*cked Up Things They Did As Children

People Reveal The Most F*cked Up Things They Did As Children
Photo by Ashley Jurius on Unsplash

Let’s face it: kids do stupid things. We’re all guilty of it.

I did a lot of stupid things as a child. Once, I drank kerosene out of a kerosene lamp, presumably to see what would happen (hint: what happened involved the emergency room).

Sometimes, as kids, we do something that’s more than stupid; it’s really wrong and f*cked up. Those are the things that people regret doing when they look back on it.

Plenty of Redditors came name the things they did as children that they now regret, and they’re more than happy to share.


It all started when Redditor blazed_toucan asked:

“What f*cked up thing did you do as a kid?”

Unfaithful

"In 7th grade my best friend asked me if I would go and ask the boy she liked if he liked her and if he would go out with her."

"I went over and asked him if he liked her, he said no, then I asked if he liked me, he said yes, and then I asked him to be my boyfriend, he said yes."

"Then I went right back to my friend and told her that he didn't like her, but that he liked me and was now my boyfriend."

"I don't know why I did that."

– Deleted User

"I did a similar thing. My friend had a boyfriend. So I thought it was cool to like him even if I didn’t. I asked him whenever he was done being her boyfriend if he’d want to be mine. He dumped her and started “dating” me. We were in the 3rd grade. I never understood why she was mad at me. I was such an idiot."

– borntodyechaney

Prank Gone Wrong

"I thought it would be a great practical joke to bury a corn holder, small handle with two sharp prongs to hold corn on the cob, pointy side up in my yard and wait for someone to step on it. Of course, being a kid after all, I lost interest after a time and forgot. Sometime later in the summer, while walking bare foot, yes, I stepped on it. F*ck that hurt. Learned a valuable lesson about practical jokes."

– phil8248

Fire!

"When I was 11, my friend and I soaked a tennis ball in gasoline and lit it on fire and with gloves on tossed it around with my friend. Just cause."

"Ended up throwing it to him in an arc and he missed and it slid down his chest, leaving a on fire gasoline trail on his shirt. Had 1st degree burns and we really got in trouble for that one."

– TriscuitCracker

Absolute Disgust

"Gave my little brother ex-lax and told him it was chocolate when we were under 10. I knew it would give him diarrhea, but I didn’t know how badly. It was f*cked up."

– pettybage

"So I went to Philmont (a huge ranch in New Mexico owned by the Boy Scouts where you can do lots of hiking) this past summer. They have very strict bear policies, meant to prevent any kind of negative encounter with a bear. Ie, don't try to feed the bears, clean up your trash, hang your bear bags correctly. If you don't follow these rules, they will send you home, as a bear that knows it can find food around humans is a danger to both the bear and the humans."

"We were talking with some of the staff one day about bears and stuff, and one of them told us about an incident involving ex-lax. Now they recommend you bring something like ex-lax with you in the first aid kit, since it's fairly common for scouts to get constipated. The diet the feed you is probably very different from what you'd eat at home."

"Anyway, there was a troop a number of years back that had brought way more ex-lax than they needed to. So what did they do with it? Instead of leaving it in the locker at base camp, they made a "pie" out of it on like the third day on the trail. There had been a bear in the area, and they knew that, so they left the "pie" out to try to lure the bear in so they could see it. The adults in the troop were completely on board with the idea, too."

"Of course, with its super strong sense of smell, the bear found it. Unfortunately, the bear decided it liked the "pie" and followed them for the next few days, sh*tting runny diarrhea the entire time. Bear poop smells bad to begin with, but bear diarrhea is even worse. Finally, after like three or four days following them, the bear tore into everyone's backpacks overnight, destroying everything."

"After coming clean to staff about what happened, they got kicked off the trail, Philmont placed a permanent ban on their troop (their troop could never go to Philmont again), Philmont had to call in the State game wardens to kill the bear, because it was too comfortable around people, and the troop leaders were charged with bear baiting, which is a felony. So all in all, not a good day for anyone involved."

– a_lonely_trash_bag

The Dangers Of Book Fairs

"I tried to poison my mom's boyfriend. I was probably around 11. I had one of those science kits from the Scholastic book fair. I took the citric acid and dumped the whole container into his drink. He sipped it and just said, "this tastes like sh*t" and dumped it out lol"

– Zipperpants

"This made me laugh. Imagine being so happy you're going to kill the person you hate, just to watch them pour out your hard work and planning."

– Spacemage

That Backfired Terribly!

"Dropped a rope out of my second story window, tied it to a plastic tricycle, asked my neighbor if he wanted to go for a ride, and lifted him up to the window with the help of my brother and sister. Then we dropped him, and caught the rope before he hit the ground. It was stupid, but none of us had parents responsible enough to watch us or teach us anything."

– screwylouidooey

"Did he get hurt??"

– theshammy123

"Nope. Luckily we managed to catch the rope in time. We used to attempt to parachute off the roof of an abandoned garage with trash bags too. I was hospitalized trying to ride a bicycle on a downhill road in the middle of winter once as well."

"My siblings and I were put in foster care shortly after the window incident."

– screwylouidooey

Watch What You Drink

"I made my brother and his friends a jug of kool-aid with water from the toilet"

– basillemonaid

"Some friends drank some spilled cola out of the ground because they believed it would gave them superpowers. Long story short, they did not get superpowers."

– Ohmnonymous

This Is Kind Of Sweet

"I helped a Jewish kid steal a Christmas tree. He complained his family never had a Christmas tree"

– Redkachowski

"I feel like this could be the plot of a movie."

– birdwalk

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

"My cousin and I were like 7ish or so and playing upstairs in a room by ourselves. My aunt left her sewing machine in there ready to go. We were fascinated by how fast the needle moved up and down when we stepped on the foot pedal. Then we had the idea to see who could get their finger out of the way before the needle started moving. He went. Safe. I went. Safe. He went. Blood shot out and screaming commenced."

– DaShMa_

The Value Was Lost On Them

"When I was eight, I stole my fathers nickel collection and spent it on penny candy"

– Zerotits

"Oh damn, this made me remember something. When I was little, I took my dad's stamp collection, thinking they were stickers, and placed them all over the house; doors, wardrobes, walls, drawers. My dad was pissed."

– Hobbit-guy

"At least you got something for it. When I was a kid I did the same but with my mom's small collection of Sacagawea Dollar coins. Traded them to a kid in my neighborhood for Pokemon cards."

– TaurineLine719

Wonder How Well That Went Over

"Went to the cinema dressed as a ninja for attention"

– aloiuym97

"How were you supposed to get attention if nobody could see you?"

– Daafda

Talk About FOMO

"My parents used to my peel apples because kids can have trouble swallowing and chewing the skin. I was upset I wasn’t allowed it and when they weren’t looking I took the skin out of the garbage and ate it."

– Aislinn19

"You showed them!"

– em_square_root_-1_ly

Revenge Of The Bullied

"When I was in first grade a girl wouldn’t let me in her club. So the next morning our teacher took away her sunglasses because she was wearing them during class. During recess I snuck into the classroom and placed the sunglasses in the girl’s desk. Then I told the teacher when we got back that I saw her take her sunglasses back during recess."

"My teacher believed me, the girl denied it. The teacher pushed down her desk and the sunglasses were there. She got in trouble for not only stealing but for lying about it. No one ever found out it was me all along."

"And that is just one story of why I am going to hell!"

– Deleted User

"There was a kid name Jeff that was a real a**hole in 5th grade and I went to the bathroom and wrote"

""F*ck" -Jeff"

"On the bathroom door and a grown up actually fell for it or didn't give a sh*t because Jeff was a d*ck either way he went down for it"

– heanbangerfacerip2

I Was Just Making A Promise!

"My sister told me flipping the middle finger was "swearing at God" when I was around 5, and I thought she meant "swearing TO God", as in it's something you're supposed to do when you made promises. My a** was walking around church with my middle finger up till some kind older teenager finally gently told me to put it away."

– TserTaAbmet

I can’t stop laughing at that last one!

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

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