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Cringe!: The All-Time Worst Attempts At Flirting

Reddit user Veetojek asked: 'What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?'

Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?

Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.

Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor Veetojek asked:

"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"

These advances are just genuinely bizarre.

Inept Pupil

"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said 'I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."

He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."

– Dr_broadnoodel

Weird Pitch

"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"

– neon_eyeballs

"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"

– OP

Stranger Danger

"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"

"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."

– Allieora

These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.

Down The Rabbit Hole

"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"

– boukaree

"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."

– No_Letterhead_7683

Hairy Situation

"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."

– TYRONEmonies

Fumbling For Words

"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."

– HooterEnthusiast

Clumsy Gymnast

"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."

"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."

"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."

– ANerdCalledMike

Some guys come on way too strong

Hey, Barkeep!

"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."

– Xdude199

Bye, Scooter

"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed 'Scooter.'"

"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f'k. How do you like me so far?'"

"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."

"And he never went home alone."

– PJMurphy

Scene From A Gas Station

"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"

"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."

– SilverSoulFox

Daddy Cringey

"I worked in retail for a long time."

"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."

– xSevusxBean4y

Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.

In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.

Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.

Being natural will not make you look desperate.

While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.

Conspiracy Theories With A Surprising Amount Of Evidence To Back Them Up

Reddit user Specific_Shop_3975 asked: 'What’s a conspiracy with the most evidence to back it up?'

Man thinking hard
Photo by jose aljovin on Unsplash

We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, and whether or not we truly believe them, we can agree that they're fun to think about.

But there are some that are more sinister than others, and some that are far too applicable to simply ignore.

Redditor Specific_Shop_3975 asked:

"What's a conspiracy with the most evidence to back it up?"

The Sinking of RMS Lusitania

"The British government deliberately put the RMS Lusitania in harm's way to get her sunk to bring the USA into WW1. The fact the records have been resealed for another 100 years adds credence to this conspiracy."

- Blackmore_Vale

"Dude, it's not even a conspiracy theory. The German consulate took out a two-page ad in the New York Times telling people to not board because they were going to sink it."

"Also at the time Britain didn't have an option but to sell the ship because it was carrying so many munitions that they desperately needed. This isn't a conspiracy theory; it's just plain fact."

"Both governments knew the risks and they needed it to galvanize support."

- hagantic42

Not So Sweet Candy Stores

"In the UK, there was a recent boom in American sweet shops that sold grossly overpriced import candy. They were suddenly everywhere after the pandemic, they didn’t sell much, but they were everywhere."

"Someone on TikTok theorized that they were all money laundering fronts, so people started filming in the shops laughing at the prices, and staff always seemed to get really angry about it."

"Then it was announced last year that there was an HMRC (UK’s tax wing of government) investigation started because the theory held water, and suddenly they all shut down."

"The one in Leeds Centre near Trinity currently has a notice of abandonment in the window and you can see the shelves are still stocked: the owners just ran off and left it."

"Sounds like another successful case for the TikTok detectives."

- fearthe0cean

What's Behind the Price of a Piece of Art

"Modern art is just money laundering."

"Nobody pays 2.2 million for a blank canvas."

- Poultry_Master123

"The brilliance of modern art money laundering can't be understated."

"Alfred wants to pay Brad $100k for a bribe."

"Brad wants this money to be 'clean' to avoid authorities looking into him."

"Brad 'sells' a worthless modern art piece for $100k."

"Alfred has now successfully transferred the bribe to Alfred. However, Brad is now in possession of a painting that the 'market' says is worth $100k. Down the line, Alfred might be able to sell this now 'valuable' piece of art to a third party for $50k, $100k, or potentially at a profit!"

"It can get even more complex when the artist is basically a part of the money laundering ring. This makes it so that Brad can fictionally increase the cost of buying the art from the artist in the first place in order to make the money laundering less obvious."

- Zigxy

Why So Many Options?

"There is something fishy going on at Mattress Firm. How can they stay in business with a store in practically every plaza when the average person buys a new mattress every decade or so?"

- PWcrash

Quite the Distraction

"Might not be a 'conspiracy theory' per se. But I believe that the government works hard to cover up their own incompetence."

"Part of that is manufacturing insane conspiracy theories as a way to make anyone who asks questions look crazy. Or at least to serve as a distraction."

- ButtFarquad66

A Conspiracy Is a Conspiracy

"The meta-conspiracy to convince dumb people that the word 'conspiracy' means 'a crazy person’s imagination.'"

"Conspiracies happen every day. There’s a global conspiracy of adults to convince kids Santa is real. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a conspiracy."

"Somewhere along the line, the word got hijacked and it immediately discredits whoever says it. It’s practically a trap to use the word, so you have to dance around it if you want to describe people planning things in secret."

- Bob_the_peasant

Widely Discredited

"The government deliberately leaked false information to UFO investigators to discredit them because they were getting too close to the truth."

"(The truth being that Area 51 was a testing grounds for spy planes and stealth aircraft and was attracting too much attention for a secret weapons facility.)"

- 4thofeleven

"I think the government does this with conspiracy theories across the board. Promoting outlandish tinfoil hat-type theories helps discredit the ones that are actually real."

- QUINNFLORE

Another Money Laundering Front

"Benetton is a front for Italian mob money laundering."

"Probably wasn't at first back in the 80s but now... decent-sized stores in expensive real estate all over Europe, never anyone in the stores, never seen anyone wearing the clothes, don't know anyone that's bought anything from them, ever, and neither do those people."

- Bannedin_3_2_1

"I shop there all the time, in both Italy and Switzerland. It’s the highest quality for the most reasonable price that I can regularly find in Europe. I’m never the only one in there or checking out, either."

- AdultDisneyWoman

"Sounds like something a money launderer would say."

- kjm16216

Residential Monopoly

"Blackrock and Vanguard are buying up all the residential property they can in order to get the majority of Americans renting from them. Estimates say by 2030 they will own 60% of residential property."

- smartsapants

"I so wish we could all stop fighting about dumb sh*t for just a few weeks so both sides of the country could pass a law that bans any corporation or non-US citizen from owning residential property(with some provisions to account for things like bank loans obviously)."

"This would have such a massive effect on quality of life going into the future. Of course, it won’t happen."

- ternic69

People of Influence Parties

"The Bilderberg group. Every year in summer, they meet, and people keep track of who is there. Guest lists every year. Top politicians, royalty, corporate owners. Extreme security. No protocols."

"There is confirmation from a variety of these people that they were there."

"So, what do they talk about? Are they coordinated somehow after each meeting? How much influence do they have?"

"Well, given the extreme security, it's difficult to say. I am sure it's nothing, though. Why would those groups of people want to influence the world to suit their agendas, right?"

"Also note, anyone discussing this gets called a tin foil hat, or paranoid, or a conspiracy theorist who probably also believes in antivaxx reptilian....."

- Common-Wish-2227

Secret Climate Change

"The petroleum companies knew burning fossil fuels would lead to global climate change but hid the evidence of their own funded studies and did nothing to curb consumption, instead funded groups opposed to renewable, non-greenhouse gas generating energy to maximize shareholder value."

- 85_Draken

The Travels of Elvis Presley

"Elvis didn’t die in 1977. He was working with the government (DEA OR CIA? I can’t remember?). When he was compromised they had to fake his death."

"He actually moved to Argentina and lived the rest of his life down there."

"There were a lot of sightings. My favorite is when one of his house workers reported someone that looked just like him lying out by the pool at his own house the day after he died."

"It’s a fun theory that is pretty convincing the more you look into it."

- Affectionate-Win-788

Conspiracies All the Way Down

"People believe all the governments in the world have collaborated on keeping the shape of the Earth and our inability to visit the Moon a secret..."

- draculamilktoast

"But what about the turtle we are sitting on?"

- KAG25

"More importantly, what about the turtle THAT turtle is sitting on?"

- Hym3n

Intentionally Divisive

"That our governments are turning us all against each other to distract us from the blatant wealth manipulation, corrupt practices, nepotism, cronyism, among hundreds of other big issue things. Their plans working a treat and the people as a whole can't see what's happening and start working together against it."

"We are losing our privacy, our rights, and our sense of connection with one another. We drift away while they get more and more powerful. People hand away their rights like they're going to get them back and never question it when it's not."

"Our planet had to deal with another of the world power's attempts at control and that's the pandemic or should I say the reaction to it. I was always a believer it happened naturally but as time goes on it becomes more apparent it wasn't."

"We are bodies hanging from the roof being bled dry slowly but if this keeps up we aren't just f**ked like a world war or nuclear war, if we don't do anything we will lose whatever control we have and we will never get it back."

- Magic_Kushroom

From interesting and wowing to deeply troubling, there's truly no shortage of conspiracies and conspiracy theories out there for people to puzzle over and research.

The most troubling thing about them, honestly, has to be the stigma surrounding a person's interest in them. As soon as someone expresses interest in one of these theories, others are quick to discredit them.

A couple sitting in a movie theater
Felipe Bustillo/Unsplash

As Nicole Kidman wisely tells patrons of AMC movie theatres that we go to the movies to "laugh, to cry, to cry, to care."

"Because we need that. All of us."

And the movies that really make an impression on us are the ones that do all of the above as she described.

When characters are well-developed and the actors portraying them really connect with the audiences, they stay with us forever.

There's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing our favorite heroes–whether supernatural or based on actual, real people–suffer loss or meet their own untimely demise.

Curious to hear from moviegoers, Redditor CallyB0225 asked:

"What is the saddest movie scene ever?"

Don't underestimate the power of animated films.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

"The Fox and the Hound when the old woman has to leave Todd in the game preserve to save him and her tears as she drives away without him."

– snortybeagle

"Also the scene where Todd gets out and she’s running through the woods with a lantern calling for him. Reminds me of losing my cat."

– aaron_hoff

Baby Mine, Don't You Cry

"When Dumbo's mom rocked him from behind her cage 😭"

– LimpCauliflower8579

"Baby mine, don't you cry Baby mine, dry your eyes Rest your head close to my heart Never to part, baby of mine."

"F'k. I had to take a little baby possum to get euthanized because its mama had been hit by a car and killed along with its siblings. It was awful - you could see some of the babies had survived the impact and tried to crawl off, only to be hit themselves. This little one was the only one left when I got there, but it was too injured to make it. It sounds so dumb but I sang a bit of this song to it while I held it on my lap on the way to the vet. I know it's anthropomorphizing them too much, but possums seem like such good mamas."

– lizardingloudly

Dinosaurs Grieve Too

"The first movie in the Land Before Time. Broke my heart. Still does."

– HeelerDot18

"Littlefoot mistaking his shadow for his mother."

“Mother? Mother!”

– justputonsomemusic

"That scene KILLS me because I know that exact feeling. My mother died when I was 12, and for a long time after she died, I would see someone who looked like her and have this cruel, crazy stab of hope that my mom wasn’t really gone."

– captcha_trampstamp

A Cub Grows Up

"Simba begging Mufasa to wake up. That tiny little 'help.'"

– mossadspydolphin

"get up....we gotta go home...."

– imthe1nonlyD

Remember The Dead

"The scene in Coco where Miguel is trying to get mama Coco to remember her father. My daughters and I all cried at the theater. Mama Coco reminded us so much of my grandmother. At that point we had lost 3 of my grandparents. 1 each year. My grandmother was all we had left. She died a few years after the movie came out. My daughter hasn't watched it since because she knows she will cry even harder."

– thiswilltakeamiracle

When a character has an epiphany, we're right there with them.

Unsatisfied Hero

"The 'I could have saved more' scene where Schindler has an emotional breakdown after the workers gave him a ring engraved with the quotation: 'Whoever saves one life saves the world entire' and was then comforted by the workers in the movie Schindler's List."

– SuvenPan

The Gift Meant For Someone Else

"Emma Thompson in her bedroom after she receives the Joni Mitchell CD for Christmas."

– khendron

"Just phenomenal acting. I can’t remember who said it, but there’s a quote that watching someone trying not to cry is somehow sadder than watching someone cry and it’s so true."

– prunellazzz

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

The Last Bedtime Story

"When the mom tucks her kids in and the old couple go to bed together in Titanic knowing they’re going to die."

– enlenar

"The mother and children are Irish, and in that scene she’s telling them an old Irish story about going to a land of eternal youth and beauty. The only way she could attempt to comfort them knowing what is to come."

"As a mother I couldn’t imagine making that decision. To spend our last moments in utter chaos fighting for our lives, or going back to the quiet of the cabin and dying as a family there. Gut wrenching."

– SylviaKasen

The Most Loyal Dog Ever

"Hachiko waiting for his friend to come back every day at the train station."

– 33-9

"Omg, I think that would be number 1 on my list, I don’t think I’ve ever cried harder than at the end of Hachi."

– OP

A Soldier Dies

"When Giovanni Ribisi’s character dies in Saving Private Ryan, after telling the story about pretending to be asleep when his mom checked in on him."

– howdysteve

"His whole story about his mom and his final line "...I don't know why I did that..." really hits me hard, and I always shoot my mom a sloppy, cheesy text immediately after the scene."

– duskywindows

Meeting His Maker

"In the Green Mile when John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) gets executed. "Don't put me in the dark." Gets me every time..."

– Vivid-Voyage

"That was the first movie to make me sob, not get teary eyed, but painful sobbing."

"Also RIP Michael Clarke Duncan."

– shewy92

While we go through tissues blowing our noses and wiping away our tears (hopefully not in that order), "somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this."

Yes, Nicole Kidman. We love to ugly cry in movie theaters.

But we'll never look as stunning as you while doing so. ​

A breakup is never easy.

Even so, it is sometimes the only solution when one, or both, members of a couple realize that their relationship simply isn't meant to be.

Sometimes, pinpointing what went wrong in a relationship is difficult that and even years later you still can't find a single reason.

Other times, however, why a relationship came to an end is made abundantly clear by your former partner, sometimes letting you down easily, other times not mincing word one bit.

Redditor GreekRifle was curious to hear from the men of Reddit why their partners chose to end their relationships, leading them to ask:

"Men, why did your last girlfriend dump you?"

A Love That Will Never Die...

"She was in love with her gay best friend."- Lucius_Funk

Communication Is Key

"We didn’t really get each other communication-wise."- heyitsvonage

Too Close To Home...

"Because my mother died of a terminal illness and she had (unbeknownst to me) breast cancer."

"I think she knew it would have wrecked me all over again."- fdxfgyhers

To Love Another, You Must Also Love Yourself.

"I didn't take care of myself."

"I degraded to a state that made me boot worthy"- ToeKnail

Did You Hear That?

"Because I was a sh*tty listener."

"I immediately went and bought and read 4 books on listening."

"I won’t have that happen again."- awerwe4yuti

A Very Important Decision

"She wanted children, I did not."

"We kinda dumped each other for the best, but she took more initiative to see it through."- BrukaAllvar

Wasn't Meant To Last

"Both of us were busy with school and work and so we were spending less time together than usual."

"Around a month into this, she decided that the relationship had gone stale and we should break up."

"I'm not gonna pretend like it was only her fault, cus I only realized how stale our relationship had gotten when she texted me to ask for a breakup."

"I did offer to try and salvage it all, but she turned that idea down pretty quickly."

"Like half a year later she called me in a drunken state and asked if I want to hook up with her."- Phoenix_BFN

On To Better Things... Or Not...

"We were 19 (her) and 22 (me)."

"She decided she wanted to date her coworker."

"A 37 year old pizza delivery guy who lived with his mom and had 2 kids from a previous marriage that he admittedly screwed up."

"They ended up getting married, she was the primary/only breadwinner for awhile because he got fired and then just kinda never tried getting hired again."

"They eventually split up because I think he cheated on her and she tried reaching out to me on Facebook and through mutual friends."

"Yeah………no thanks."

"By then I was married to the love of my life, had 3 kids, a career, just bought a house and adopted a dipsh*t husky from the pound."

"I’m good."- Thebaldsasquatch

"The dude she'd liked for many many years who always told her no when she asked him out realized he could very well lose her to me and said If she wanted to date him he'd go for it now."

"She left me, 4 months later she married him, and now 13 years later is IIRC Divorced from him."

"Jokes on her though, 6 months after we broke up I started dating a friend of mine, we dated for 2 years (compared to 2 months with the ex) and then we got married, and we just had our 11th wedding anniversary in august."

"We have a 4 year old son and every aspect of our relationship is way way better than my relationship with the ex."-evileyeball

It's Complicated...

"She stated that we were headed in different directions."

"She said she still loved me but couldn’t do the relationship anymore as she was 'dragging me down'."

"She was dealing with something that she just couldn’t deal with while being in a relationship with me."

" All of these are reasons she gave me the day we broke up."

"I truly hadn’t seen this happening as we had been talking about marriage."

"She had brought it up and then a month later she asked to go on a two week break, then asked to end the break early because she didn’t want to loose me."

"Less than a week later we broke up because she 'just couldn’t do this anymore'."

"All in all I suppose I don’t know."

"I thought we would spend our lives together, and she had told me constantly that was what she wanted."

"Then one day I suppose she woke up and decided we were over."

"I don’t hold any resentment towards her, and I wouldn’t ask her to explain why."

"Sometimes you fall in love just to fall out of it."

"Other times you find the right person at the wrong time, it really doesn’t matter."

"I hope she finds the right person for her, and I know I’ll keep on moving forward til the day I can’t."- RansomTheTrees

There's No Place Like Home...

"She realized, that she stopped being happy to come home and found things to do to stay out."

"I wanted to end the relationship on the very same day or wanted to have a talk, so not too bad of a break up."- Resident-Worry-2403

Anyone's Guess

"Ask her."

"Really I don't know why she broke up with me."- frogmicky

Ironically, It's Wrong To Always Need To Be Right...

"Wasn’t mature enough to put her feelings before my position in an argument."

"Unfortunately had to learn to be a better person at the expense of an innocent person."- kitchensclosed

Everyone Deserves A Second Chance...

"Because I was a sh*tty person."

"And I wish I hadn't been, but I became a good one after that and regret it cost someone so much."- Skelegasm

It's hard to come to terms with ending things with someone you thought you loved.

Yet, better to have had that love then to never love at all.