Teachers Share The Craziest Student Rumors They Ever Heard That Turned Out To Be True
Speaking as a former classroom teacher, it's impossible to know everything about your students. You do what you can to get as professionally close as possible, to learn their likes and interests, to bring those to into your lessons so you can better educate them, but you can't know everything. They have a whole life outside your four walls, and sometimes that chaos and hilarity comes crashing through your door.
Reddit user, u/OneHundredForcer, wanted to hear from the ones who see and hear it all when they asked:
Bratva = Russian Mob
"Yeah the police is going to scout our school for a few weeks because one of our [Russian-speaking] kids is working as a lookout & courier for the bratva to scare them off doing even more insane sh-t"
We all debated whom of our dozen [Russian-speaking] kids it could be and we were pretty sure which one...
Turned out it was true... this 12 year old little girl was a drug courier for the local bratva.
Truth Is In The Change
I became friendly with one of my students in study hall a few years ago. We would chat about mythology, video games, literature, and other "dorky" topics most other students didn't have too much interest in. One day he wasn't in class, and he came up in conversation. One of the students asked me if I knew about his past, and I'm like, " Not really, I figure he is just a quiet guy who likes to read." So it turns out he was bullied in middle school and one day had a nerdrage on his tormentor and attacked him with scissors shouting about how he was going to take his eyes.
From what I understand it was pretty brutal. The bully transferred schools and most of the other kids left my student alone. It didn't change how I viewed him, but I did notice after that how the other kids treated him. I'm not saying that we're afraid of him but not many people, even other gamers and geeks associated with him. I always thought he was very friendly.
Let's Drink All These Awful Memories Away!
Girl was supposedly hooking up with the band teacher. Never heard any proof, band director left. I moved away and years later met a friend in a pub on a holiday visit. The two of them walked into the place together and I looked him dead in the eyes as he was coming in...he kinda froze and then awkwardly came over to say hello.
They had one drink and then left.
A Fall From Grace
During my first year of teaching I had a 10th grade student who suddenly in the spring was put on emergency expulsion for 10 days. I was really shocked because this student was great! She was chill, very involved in the school community, a cheerleader. I had even written her the recommendation to be eligible for the cheerleading team. Admin gave zero explanation for her sudden removal. I knew nothing until I had overheard little bits and pieces. Apparently, she had gotten caught having sex with her boyfriend in one of the locker rooms at school. Out of the blue during her expulsion she emailed me and asked me to shut down any rumors or sh-t talking about her. Of course I had already been shutting those conversations down and continually told my kids to mind their own business and focus on themselves, so I assured her I was handling it. I think this situation really f-cked her up and she wasn't really the same afterwards.
The next year she ended up running away from home with another boy and she was a missing person for quite some time. Out of nowhere earlier this year (her senior year) she pop's up in my classroom, she's heavily pregnant, and starts talking to me and ultimately asks if she can wait in my room until her mom comes to pick her up. Completely baffled, I let her sit at my desk and notify admin, asking if she still goes to the school and if she was still on the missing person's list. Thankfully she was no longer on the missing person's list and she did go to the school, but through online classes. It was wiiiiiiiild. Definitely one of the more bizarre things that have happened as a teacher.
It's Not Just The Kids That Aren't Alright
I was a student in a French class in Belgium. One of my fellow students from Peru was very distressed one day and left class in a hurry but contacted the teacher afterwards. It turns out My fellow student recognised a new student that joined the class as being a most wanted Shining Path guerrilla fighter from Peru who was hiding out in Belgium under a false name. They alerted the Police and at the next week's class they waited in plain clothes and arrested him when he turned up.
EDIT: this was an adult class aimed at people learning French
netrev08How Is This Spread Without The School Burning Down?
That he was having sex with the principal (41) while dating the principal's daughter.
Edit: Everybody knows this happened, the whole town knows, but no one did anything about it and if there were any court cases, they were really hushed. He started dating her daughter so he could come to their house without it being weird, his grades were amazing and she is still a principal, but is about to retire I believe.
What A Way To Start The School Day
I teach High School English.
One morning I was walking down the hall and I overheard some random student tell her friend "OMG Jake and Sarah were having sex in the stairwell yesterday and got caught by a teacher!" then they both broke down in giggles.
I know this was true, because I was the teacher who caught them.
When The Kids Know More Than You
The rumor was that prior to Christmas break, he brought a gun to school and had a hit list with students and teachers on it.
Not only did it turn out to be true, but the school decided not to tell the teachers. We found out about a major security breach and a potential school shooter from our kids.
How much trouble did he get in
He was expelled and maybe arrested. I don't actually know. Even after we found out no one would tell us much.
The Lives Our Students Lead
When I was teaching middle school (8th grade mathematics) a young lady transferred mid-year, very quiet and very low-achieving, probably at a 3rd or 4th grade level in all subjects. Rumors quickly started to spread that she had a baby and had to leave her last school, which is how she wound up at ours. Turned out, she had TWO babies by two different young men, one of whom was 20 years old.
Her aunt just openly told me all of this at conferences... said her niece was a really good mom though. My Lord, that poor child.
"Several members of the football team..."
Two rumors, but from my sister's high school.
Several members of the football team robbed a local grocery store at gunpoint. They all got arrested and suspended and there weren't games for the rest of the year.
Also another rumor about a male teacher sleeping with a freshman girl. He was fired.
"He had to call the cops..."
Someone started a rumor that a girl in my grade tried to seduce the gym teacher. We thought it was some stupid joke until it was discovered that she showed up at his house one night and wouldn't leave. He had to call the cops to take her home.
My sister is a teacher in a school where about once a semester a different girl gets "pregnant." Last year she actually was.
"She said no."
Not a teacher, but in the 10th grade (1996-97) we had an insanely hot biology teacher. All the "studs" flirted with her, but she was also happily married to an equally insanely hot firefighter. One guy got expelled after he literally dropped his penis on her desk and dared her to say no.
She said no.
"A female teacher quit..."
That the reason why our cranky science teacher Mr. Johnson is always so cranky is because his wife left him for one of students.
This was true, Mr. Johnson was an @sshole to his wife who used to be a teacher and apparently a senior student fell for her and the two eloped. Weirdly, her family supported it.
That members of the football team and the cheerleading team had an orgy in the boys locker room.
True, we were more pissed that they did that after they lost a game.
A female teacher quit because none of the boys wanted to f*** her.
Learned this one later, she was in her 50s and was apparently heavily flirting with any boy she liked but when she didn't get f**ked in the 3 years she was teaching at our school, she left and made a Facebook post about it.
"It gets even more bizarre..."
My mother is a teacher, but she does have a crazy story that sends shivers down my spine. She use to work for a private school that is now in trouble financially and academically as a few rumors went around that a few students brought meth to school and sold it to some parents. They were never caught, but most had thought it was untrue, until one of the students that went to the private school was caught at a magnet high school and admitted to selling meth since 5th grade.
It gets even more bizarre as those students' parents were meth makers and were using their kids as mules. The school district confronted the former and current directors of the private school and asked why they didn't catch the students earlier. Some said they were too busy to notice or didn't bother to confront the students selling the meth.
Nowadays, that private school is known as "The drug trade school". There are now less than 15 students at that school now.
'The Other One'
The other one is about a staff member and it's just kind of sad. So student transfers to my school from other school where teacher used to work. Says teacher left other school because he had to take time off because he had cancer! All the other kids instantly jump on this. So and so has cancer! Did you know? Of course I didn't know and told them that they can't just gossip and speculate about someone having cancer. That they should confront rumors and not spread them. Get the story from the horses mouth. I thought this was a great teachable moment (I think this was my second year so I was inexperienced.) So they won't ask him. I ask him privately. Yep, he most definitely has cancer and doesn't want it to be public. So I lie for him and tell the kids to stop spreading rumors and mind their own business.
"And the moral of the story..."
This happened when I was a student about a teacher.
I was in choir in high school but missed the beginning of class one day to talk to my counselor about classes for next year and college plans for when I graduate. I walk in and see the choir teacher in tears and a lot of the other students crying. Super awkward to walk in on, so I just quietly shuffle to my seat and a buddy leans over and said the teacher just announced she was leaving at the end of the school year.
A few weeks later we hear the principal was also going to leave at the end of the school year. Naturally, students started talking and rumors about the principal and the choir teacher having an affair with each other surfaced. I dismissed them as just rumors.
Nope, it was 100% true. I got the details a few years later from my former theater teacher when I went back to the school as a substitute getting experience while applying to teaching jobs of my own. The theater teacher and choir teacher were friends and the drama teacher had told the choir teacher that there were rumors among the staff about the affair with the principal. The theater teacher did this out of a place of friendship and didn't actually believe the rumors at the time. However, telling the choir teacher backfired and the drama teacher started being targeted by the administration who would do everything they could to make her life miserable at school.
And the moral of the story is don't tell people rumors about an affair they are having when one person is in a position of authority.
"I work..."
Middle school history teacher here. I work in a lower income southern school district. I had an african american student named Trevor in one of my classes. Quiet kid, behaved, finished his work. Then one day Trevor got in a fight with another student. The other kid ripped Trevor's shirt, and underneath his skin was white as snow.. Turns out Trevor was applying makeup every day to his face, neck and arms. He wasn't an african american, he was actually a homunculus the whole time.
"Had a kid..."
Had a kid dumped into my classroom mid semester. The guidance counselor told me has some issues, and not to be confrontational with him.
Rumor mill gets going and I hear that he has been kicked out of 2 schools and the last school he beat a kid with a pipe or club. He is on his last chance and my school took him in with 3 months probation. If he f's it up, then he is out.
So, I am a fairly laid back teacher and usually bond with my students. The kid is an angel in class and no issues. Ends up being a favorite student.
Then the 3 months end. Totally forget about this rumor.
I am in the lunch room on duty and I see the kid get into an argument with another student. They get into it and I run down the entire length of the lunch room and try to break up the fight. I am 23 and 160 lbs at the time. I tackle the kid and he flips on me like he is possessed and grabs me by my tie and starts to strangle me with it. I am like F***. Luckily the other student jumped on him and he let go. Took 5 adults to pin the kid down and he was still screaming he was going to kill everyone.
Well, the rumors were true. He was a psychopath. Never wore a tie after that.
"Apparently..."
I knew a girl, a junior, who was in love with a janitor.
Apparently she had a breakdown during a lunch period about how she couldn't be with him or something. He must have had a crisis of consciousness or something. Apparently nothing ever came up of it, but they were supposedly close. She ended up moving to do homeschooling and the guy never returned the next year.
"We all had to suddenly evacuate..."
We all had to suddenly evacuate the halls into the grounds outside or into the classrooms and have teachers lock the doors because there was some crazy woman running around the school halls screaming at the top of her lungs the entire time as she ran.
From what I heard apparently her son was getting bullied in school and she had lodged multiple complaints and when he kept getting bullied one day she came in and just started screaming and running. She was running for the best part of half an hour. The police came and had to taze her to make her stop when she refused to even communicate and just ran past them each time.
It was a great example of the doppler effect for students each time she ran past though.
"They all three..."
We had a young lady (7th grader) who was in the office after hearing the word she has sex at school with a boy. Admin states she admitted to having sex with 1 boy (who denied it). She then lets out that she had sex the next day with a different boy, getting caught by the after-school group (he couldn't deny it). They all three were suspended for 10 days, parents were called, and the kids had a lot to explain to their parents. As a younger teacher, it blew my mind.
"I didn't believe them..."
I'm not sure if this counts as a rumor but I had a student that was usually at school every day not show up to my class one day. I asked the students where she was. They told me she was suspended because she let the boys in her pe class run a train on her.
I didn't believe them but let it go and decided to ask the PE teacher later. Not only did he confirm it, he told me he was the one that walked in on her mid act with two boys and a few others waiting in line.
"This last year..."
This last year, another teacher told me that my favorite student has a very violent past. This kid was quiet but got along with his neighbors and helped them on their homework. He was the smartest kid I had at this school. He was probably a grade level ahead at a school where everyone else was about two grade levels behind.
He ended up getting expelled for jumping a kid and putting them in the hospital. I had to learn about it from my friend in the HR department who reviewed long term discipline plans for kids because my principal didn't tell me squat about why my student was no longer in my class.
A slightly more fun rumor but still kinda sad was that some student had 43+ cats. They lived out in the country and so they weren't house cats, but all came by for meal times and eliminated a rodent problem they used to have. Parent confirmed they had had that many cats when student told me, but the rodent problem turned into a coyote problem and they lost about half the cats now, but apparently those that survived were the favorite/smartest cats do it was ok
My previous school was a small farm town, pretty good kids that never get in trouble. One of the girls allegedly sent nude Snapchats to a boy in the town over and they were spreading like wild fire. None of the girls wanted to be her friend any more. When I mentioned to another teacher how bad I thought the others were treating her, the teacher's response was about how provocative the photo was and how the other girls now feel pressured to be sexual if they want to date any of the boys at "next town over school." I was flabbergasted that this teacher had seen the photos. I understand even teachers sometimes getting curious about rumors, but this teacher asked to see for herself if it was really Student.
"You keep hearing..."
You keep hearing about students touching themselves under the desks. You tell yourself it can't be, you pretend it's not true. And every year you find out that it is.
"He wasn't her student..."
So this is from when I was in school, but I am a teacher.
My sophomore year in high school, halfway through my senior year the choir teacher was asked to resign because she was sleeping with a senior. He wasn't her student and he was 18 and she was on the younger side. Technically, there's nothing illegal about that, but still creepy nonetheless.
"Private Christian schools..."
Student rumor about teacher turned true.
My male HS gym teacher was rumored to be "flirtatious" and found out to be a predator. It was eventually exposed he was having an ongoing relationship with a JV cheerleader as well as providing her with alcohol. His fiance at the time was the principal's daughter, who was also the JV cheerleading coach.
Several years later said principal was arrested for soliciting prostitution/open container.
The MS history teacher was rumored to be gay. Never married, no kids, very witty and compassionate. This was confirmed later when he was murdered, while meeting a male stranger for sex at a well known hot spot for that in town. The school officially announced it as he was robbed due to their religious 'integrity'. He was an incredible and very beloved teacher.
Private Christian schools are so messy.
"One of my kids..."
One of my kids swore a sub got arrested for drunk driving. She was a good kid so I figured I would Google the dude and prove her wrong... She was right.
"One day after school..."
Not a teacher but a student. My last year of high school out of nowhere the drama teacher disappears. Rumor starts going around that she's under investigation of having relations with a student.
One day after school the play cast (there was like 12 of us) were hanging around waiting for our director (not the drama teacher, this dude only ran the play). We all start discussing the rumors and the guy sitting next to me, who had the lead role, pipes up and says he was the one in a relationship with the drama teacher.
He was 18 but she was still being charged for having relations with a student and investigated to see if there was anyone else (there was). Dude's little sister was the one who reported it because she was worried (thank god). Last I knee the former teacher got a jail sentence, had to sell the deli she owned, was divorced by her husband (who from what I understand is happily remarried to a very nice guy my uncle works with) and she is not allowed to see her son.
"The rumor was..."
The rumor was that prior to Christmas break, he brought a gun to school and had a hit list with students and teachers on it.
Not only did it turn out to be true, but the school decided not to tell the teachers. We found out about a major security breach and a potential school shooter from our kids.
"Her aunt..."
When I was teaching middle school (8th grade mathematics) a young lady transferred mid-year, very quiet and very low-achieving, probably at a 3rd or 4th grade level in all subjects. Rumors quickly started to spread that she had a baby and had to leave her last school, which is how she wound up at ours. Turned out, she had TWO babies by two different young men, one of whom was 20 years old (she hadn't yet turned 14 when I found out).
Her aunt just openly told me all of this at conferences... said her niece was a really good mom though. My Lord, that poor child.
She transferred to our school for 8th grade because everyone knew at the last school that she was pregnant. Her reading was about a 3rd grade level, no computer at home, phone was often disconnected. By the start of the year her son was already 7 months old. She rarely came to school because her mom couldn't always drive her. I don't know who the father was and never asked because it's not my business but I can only hope it was another middle schooler.
Almost nobody knew about her baby at the school. Only a few admin, a few teachers, but no friends knew about the baby. At her 8th grade promotion, I was telling her how proud I was of her and she said she was very determined to show up and do well in high school. None of her older brothers had finished high school and she wanted to be the first. She brought her son to graduation (family passed him off as her brother) and I had to make my goodbyes quickly so I could go and cry in my classroom. I'll never forget her and I hope she is doing well.
"One morning..."
I teach high school English.
One morning I was walking down the hall and I overheard some random student tell her friend "OMG Jake and Sarah were having sex in the stairwell yesterday and got caught by a teacher!" then they both broke down in giggles.
I know this was true, because I was the teacher who caught them.
"Never heard any proof..."
Girl was supposedly hooking up with the band teacher. Never heard any proof, band director left. I moved away and years later met a friend in a pub on a holiday visit. The two of them walked into the place together and I looked him dead in the eyes as he was coming in...he kinda froze and then awkwardly came over to say hello. They had one drink and then left.
"The next year..."
During my first year of teaching I had a 10th grade student who suddenly in the spring was put on emergency expulsion for 10 days. I was really shocked because this student was great! She was chill, very involved in the school community, a cheerleader. I had even written her the recommendation to be eligible for the cheerleading team. Admin gave zero explanation for her sudden removal.
I knew nothing until I had overheard little bits and pieces. Apparently, she had gotten caught having sex with her boyfriend in one of the locker rooms at school. Out of the blue during her expulsion she emailed me and asked me to shut down any rumors about her. Of course I had already been shutting those conversations down and continually told my kids to mind their own business and focus on themselves, so I assured her I was handling it. I think this situation really fucked her up and she wasn't really the same afterwards.
The next year she ended up running away from home with another boy and she was a missing person for quite some time. Out of nowhere earlier this year (her senior year) she pop's up in my classroom, she's heavily pregnant, and starts talking to me and ultimately asks if she can wait in my room until her mom comes to pick her up. Completely baffled, I let her sit at my desk and notify admin, asking if she still goes to the school and if she was still on the missing person's list. Thankfully she was no longer on the missing person's list and she did go to the school, but through online classes. It was wiiiiiiiild. Definitely one of the more bizarre things that have happened as a teacher.
"The problem..."
One of my students was really smart. The problem is she rarely goes to school and nearly dropped out because of it. There was a rumor that she got raped by her brother and stressed out so she rarely goes to school and went to the park instead. Turn out, it was true. So sad because she was my best student that year, always got the highest mark in maths (the one I teach).
"I was assigned..."
I was assigned a group in highschool of only 11 students. Basically there happened to be a teeny bit of budget extra. And they took my group of 22 and split it into two classes. So my colleague got the other 11.
So I got really close with these kids. We had a blast. Some days felt more like summer camp than normal class.
Anyways one day, two guys just could not stop ANNOYING one another. So I sent one to the far back corner because I knew he was instigating.
I was focused more on the board and the kids on front, but I turned in time to see corner boy stick a metal rod into the heater and essentially a giant blue explosion followed, with this kid sitting dead straight and then turning green.
He was so scared he couldn't talk. But he was fine physically. It was terrifying seeing a 15 year old boy go completely mute.
Left class with a supervisor. Took him to get help. Had to call his dad...started off I was shitting myself. How do you tell a father their teenage son found metal and stuck it in a heater!? Ended up with the dad making me cry of laughter. Kid got checked out. Everything was fine.
But for like a month rumours circulated that someone got electrocuted
Meanwhile. When he came back and started joking about it, it became the class motto. Everytime someone acted up, a student would point to the corner and shout "It's your turn!"
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
- fobopi9445
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
- Universeintheflesh
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
- fobopi9445
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
- leatherwolf89
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
- dearlysacredherosoul
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
- vixayib976
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
- lunayoshi
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
- luffve
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
- vatonef494
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
- fobopi9445
Becoming Flaky
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
- shortedgyasain
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
- verisimilitu
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
- vatonef494
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
- Kuliari
Terrible Priorities
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
- fobopi9445
Undesirable Behaviors
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
- Brasscogs
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
- llcucf80
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
– AwkwardFortuneCookie
Outdated Notions
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
– shebbsquids
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
– Leaping_Turtle
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
Finances
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
– strangemanornot
Spending Habits
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
– RewardNo3000
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
– DoctorExtra9060
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
– Mrepman81
Parasitic Love
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
– shebbsquids
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
– ShadowSurgeGaming
Managing expectations is key.
Never Settle
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
– scsm
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
Sorry Amy...
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRob
"Snap, Snap."
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- Radkeyoo
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamia
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcan
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwo
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.