Field trips are popular for students but can cause crazy headaches for teachers, like when kids fall through ice and break their faces, or get busted having orgies in hotels rooms at leadership conferences.
irishureyano asked teachers of Reddit: What was the worst thing that has happened on a school trip?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. No one needs extra holes in their face.
We went skating, and one of the students fell, smacked her chin off the ice, and somehow got a skate blade to the face. She needed a bunch of stitches, and was able to stick her tongue through the hole in her face.
That's just her mouth, silly goose.
That's just her mouth,
Whoa, back up the truck with your medical mumbo jumbo, doc. Her what now?
Face hole.
14. Mommy lets you steal people's animals?
Asked my students to be respectful of other pedestrians while on the trip, because some people want to enjoy the nature center by themselves. One kid saw a woman with her service dog and tried to pull on it because "mommy would let me have it." We had to leave because of that and he ruined the entire trip for everyone.
"Don't care how, I want it NOW!"
13. Middle schoolers.
My boyfriend was a teacher and his students went on the annual DC trip. It was like two kids to each hotel room or something and there was two 14yr old boys that shared a room. One of the boys rubbed one out into a pillow... and then hit the other kid in the face with it
Very similar story.
DC trip. A kid dropped a deuce in the bathtub and came on the window. Yes. The same kid.
Less of a story and more of a fact. Gotta love 8th graders.
12. Gravity has no mercy.
Former assistant teacher here, we were on a 6th grade field trip to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Cool place.
So - at the time one of the attractions was a sort of centripetal force machine that you can sit in and get swung around (poor explanation but imagine the Gravitron only smaller and faster with seats and no walls. I googled it but can't find the ride, guessing it was swapped out for something else). Well, one dumb kid thought it'd be funny to show off and see what happens when you undo your seat belt while riding.
Naturally, he got flung out of the machine at roughly half the speed of sound and broke his fall with nothing but his face. Glasses busted, massive concussion, totally wrecked. There was a whole investigation and the teacher in charge of that kid's group had to actually defend himself from accusations that he could've somehow stopped that level of stupidity. Sadly I didn't witness it but did hear the impact from one room over. Pretty interesting day.
"Your honor, I could've stopped him, but then you'd be trying me for breaking the laws of physics."
11. High school was never this fun.
Kids were going to a conference for a leadership/service oriented club. They got brought home early because a chaperone found an orgy in one of the rooms that had been pre-planned in a group chat that almost all of the kids on the trip were in.
That was a sh*tstorm.
Imagine being the one kid not invited.
Remember being the kid not invited.
I never heard of any orgies in high school. Was I the one that wasn't invited?
10. Left behind.
I was a new teacher when the whole grade went on a field trip during the first week of school.
In fact, I was so new that nobody - not even my colleagues - noticed that I wasn't on the bus. So it left without me.
(Fortunately, the destination was only about 15 minutes away, so it wasn't a big deal for me to jump in my car and follow the bus there.)
Probably could've went for coffee and said you were there the whole time
Could have just not gone and said nobody noticed you were there.
9. Close enough.
As a student I was left behind at a hutterite colony. I went to use the outhouse and the bus left.
They should have done a headcount!
"Final count is within +-10% of the initial one. Close enough!"
8. He just really loves science.
I went on a class trip as chaperone to a science center. I was in charge of a group of 8 boys. One of them goes missing, I ask the others where he went, and they don't know either. He's missing for about 10 minutes until a security guard from the center comes up to me with him. The guy asks "is he one of yours?" and tells this kid to open his backpack when I say yes. Probably $200 worth of stolen stuff in there. He spent the rest of the trip right next to me.
Did he rob the gift shop or something?
Sure did. His look of terror was kind of hilarious, to be honest
EDIT: From what I can remember, he had at least one light-up desk globe, a couple of chemistry kits and a Hoberman Sphere. It really looked like he didn't care what he stole, he just grabbed whatever.
7. Yeah, can't do that.
I am a teacher but my anecdote comes from when I was a kid back in the mid 90s. We were visiting some museum in London and were travelling on the train and the tube with teachers. On the way back, some students didn't get on the tube before the automatic doors shut and the teacher in charge just yelled as loud as he could "see you back at school lads."
And we just went home and the teacher waited at the school later on and sure enough, about forty minutes after everyone else got back the remaining kids turned up.
If that happened to me now as a teacher in 2019 I'd be fired. Probably out of a cannon into an abyss marked RIP career.
Unrelated to the question but related to this anecdote. Back in 2009, I went to Obama's inauguration with my parents, friend at the time, and Business Law elective teacher. The teacher was this great, excitable guy I'm still pretty close to--absolutely one of my favorite high school teachers.
Anyway, my dad and my friend got off the metro at a stop that was about three mishandlings away from a human crush, and my mom and my teacher and I got whisked off to god knows where a few stops down. We had brought walkie talkies with us and managed to find each other again after a little while, but that was a crazy fun day.
6. Poor kid.
In the kindergarten field trip, we had the parent of our most challenging student come along as a chaperone. Her group was her own son, and a very sweet, obident girl. Let's call him Jim and the girl Shaunda.
Typically we teachers set up "base camp" while the parents take the groups of students through the park. We do a scavenger hunt, and the parents bring us their cards for a stamp as they go through each section.
The first time the zoo employee brought us Jim, he said that the boy was in the monkey exhibit trying to climb over the fences. Luckily he had on a school shirt, and Jim was brought right to us. We called his mother's phone, and she didn't answer. About 15 minutes later, the mom shows up and says "Jim, how did you get in front of us, we we're walking together just a minute ago." We teachers explained that in fact, Jim had been with us for a bit, and the zoo ranger had brought him over. No real responseonce from the mom. We asked her to turn on her phone.
They went off again.
The second time they brought us Jim, he had gotten into the fountain. It had taken several employees to chase him down as he ran and giggled. Same drill, we called Mom. No answer. Jim was sopping wet with gross fountain water. He did not seem too concerned. The mom did not show up for 45 minutes. Again she said, "Jim, how did you get in front of us, we we're walking together just a minute ago." This time I was watching Shaunda, the look on that little girl's face said it all. Total amazement that an adult was lying.
They went off again to walk to the picnic area.
Yes. The third time the zoo brought back little Jim, it was with a police officer. Apparently, the zoo was watching the cameras, and the minute the mom was out of sight, she let go of Jim and basically ditched him. The mom got a citation for failure to maintain responsibility for her child and a 1 year ban from the zoo. The police officer accompanied her and Jim back to the buses and waited with them until it was time to leave. They did not participate in the picnic.
Shaunda had the best moral to the story. "No wonder he is so bad, his mama won't even keep him safe when there is a tiger around."
He is now a very troubled 4th grader. He doesn't get to go on field trips without 1 on 1 support from a school staff member.
5. It's art, sort of.
I took three classes of 6th graders (age 11-12) to visit the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. We'd come from about an hour and a half away - the kids & other teachers on buses, but since I was hugely pregnant I was allowed to drive my own car. It had been raining, but I arrived a bit ahead of the bus, so when the kids got off I was there to lead them to the museum.
As I began walking towards the kids getting off the buses I noticed a lot of papers on the sidewalk...and suddenly realized that they were an assortment of extremely pornographic pictures. I stopped to try to gather them up before the kids got an unexpected and completely inappropriate sex ed lesson. We'd already had a BIG TALK about being MATURE when viewing classical art (e.g. nude statues, omg) but we were not prepared for the most lurid porn LA had to offer.
Unfortunately the rain had plastered the papers to the sidewalk, and the sight of the very pregnant teacher scrambling on hands and knees on Wiltshire Blvd sent the chaperones and teachers rushing to my aid...with 100 kids right after them, no matter how urgently I tried to wave them back.
It was...memorable.
4. Kids and pets don't mix.
I'm an English teacher in Korea and field trips are different here. Usually, there are no additional chaperones. The teacher is responsible for all 25ish students in their homeroom class during the trip. That means a field trip is often 8 classes of 25 students (200 kids!) and a maximum of 10 chaperones if some office staff get taken along.
One of my first trips was to a large traditional market. It's a popular place to go and there are usually thousands of people there at all times. Our buses arrived and we all piled off in the parking lot. The kids were told via megaphone, "Be back here in one hour. Go!" And all 200 of them scattered into the crowds and tents while most of the teachers got back onto the buses to have coffee. Surprisingly, 99% of the kids were back on the buses when they were supposed to be. However, a good number had bought small hamsters, turtles, or goldfish. Two weeks later I couldn't find a single kid whose spontaneous pet was still alive.
What happened with the 1% of students who weren't back in time?
Most of them showed up on their own less than ten minutes late. There was just one straggler that they had to call over the loudspeakers because he didn't answer his cell phone. He had been distracted by some food stalls. He was generally mischief anyways and we all kinda expected him not to come back without hassle.
3. This was not a good idea.
A girl on a BETA club trip thought it would be funny to put "bomb on board" in the window of the bus. The interstate was shut down, the bus was pulled over and SWAT team raided the bus. The bomb squad was called in to sweep the bus even though the girl admitted it was a hoax. She didn't go to jail somehow, she was also a popular cheerleader and didn't get any disciplinary action from the school.
At my high school, just a few years ago, it was tradition for the football team to go to morning mass during school hours to pray the morning before a football game. This wasn't sanctioned by the school, and they were officially supposed to be marked tardy, but if they weren't too late and were good kids teachers would often look the other way. However, some people got to take advantage of this.
There was one situation in which two girls who were late came in at the exact same time. One was a cheerleader, the other wasn't. They had to stop at the attendance office. The non cheerleader girl was given a tardy slip and sent to class. Then, the administrator asked the cheerleader how mass was. The cheerleader explained that she didn't go to mass that morning, she was just tardy. However, she was still sent to class without being marked tardy, even though she didn't even have mass as an excuse, but even if she did, it's not supposed to make a difference.
2. Rude.
Not a teacher but a younger relative of mine ruined her middle school's field trip.
She didn't want to be grouped with the 'poor' kids, so she threw trash at them in front of the person who ran the place they visited.
She was unrepentant and kept calling the group 'greasers' their supposed unkemptness.
She was taken back to school, no refund, and had to write a letter of apology. She refused to do that and instead harass them on facebook.
She was expelled and there was no refund on the tuition. Her parents had a hard time getting her into another school, she was accepted in a public school but that was another shitshow.
1. High school drama matters. Not.
Group trip to take a tour of a college campus. We had a young man jump out of a bus window while it was going down the highway! His long term girlfriend had broken up with him a few days before, and he later explained that he didn't see the point of going on the college visit anymore because he didn't want to go to the same college as her, or even apply to the same ones. Denied up and down that it was a suicide attempt.
His friends circled the wagons and supported his story, and the story/rumors died quickly. He got some gnarly road rash, but avoided being hit by any cars.
I always got the impression that it was, in fact, a suicide attempt. If he didn't want to go on the tour, why go at all? Why board the bus? He could have stayed at school.
This was several years ago. He is fine!
I'll gobble up pretty much anything.
But I do have my limits.
All people have culinary limitations.
Some menus, as fabulously touted as they are, just don't do it for everybody.
Everything popular is not everybody's cup of tea... or cake, for that matter.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
We go to the movies to escape reality.
Nothing is more transportive than watching our favorite Marvel heroes face off with their nemesis in an epic battle or going to Middle Earth and following the journeys of different-sized protagonists.
While we may never truly experience their worlds in reality, there are other films deeply routed in real-life that are still a welcome distraction from the stresses of our daily lives.
But there's one thing that separates truth from fiction, and that is plausibility.
Moviegoers offered examples of the things that don't fly in real life when Redditor qbl256 asked:
"What only works in movies?"
Courtroom antics are better left up on the big screen.
Anything Goes In Court
"Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are 'going somewhere with it.'"
– aperson7780
Ignoring Protocol
"Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence."
– shegedep
Respecting Boundaries
"Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok."
– Slytherian101
Action movies are entertaining because of its heightened sequences that are more convincing on film.
Violent Tactic
"Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for several minutes while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage."
"Actually lampshaded in Archer."
– yParticle
Piercing Glass
"Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over."
– Glock43xyz
It's Lit
"Shooting a gas tank so it explodes."
"Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine."
– midunda
The Perfect Aim
"Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open."
– Studio_Life
It's Such A Blast
"Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety."
– ImInJeopardy
Certain elements are added to elevate a scene–which only proves, "yeah, that's not real-life."
Sonic Aftermath
"A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection."
– KyOatey
Street Vendor At The Wrong Time & Place
"Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually."
– Double-Elevator619
No Time For Recovery
"Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally."
– Ruminations0
What I always get a kick out of is when the distressed character attempts to flee from a knife wielding, masked home intruder by running up the stairs instead of going out the backdoor.
Like, why make the escape route that much more difficult by adding another obstacle like jumping out the window or being trapped in the closet until the inevitable moment of death?
Oh, right, it extends the tense sequence to prolong the final moments of the soon-to-be victim.
Ah, gotta love the movies.
Sometimes we need a night out or to take a break from our cooking, and it's nice to go to a restaurant.
But from bad food to even worse service, there are details about the dining experience that can ruin the whole night out.
Redditor raymorude asked:
"What ruins a restaurant?"
Yelling at Your Date
"When the background music is too loud."
- CrystalQueen3000
"WHAT?!"
- ColoradoScoop
"WHEN THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IS TOO LOUD."
- CrystalQueen3000
Not to Mention Terrible Acoustics
"We went to a small restaurant that had a live band rocking out on a Wednesday night while a bunch of families tried to eat their dinners."
"We couldn't hear one another at our own table, couldn't hear the waitress, etc. Unsurprisingly, they went out of business."
"Live music is great if you're not eating in a shoebox-sized restaurant, and the band isn't trying to void the warranty on their speakers."
- dragon_wryter
Full Disclosure
"When they don’t put a price on the menu. It makes me not want to order anything just in case it comes out to $30 per dish, but I also feel embarrassed to ask for the price of each item."
- Theoldage2147
Over-Stimulating
"I personally like a dark and quiet atmosphere where I can sit in a high-backed booth and enjoy my meal with my family. Restaurants that are too open, too bright, and have loud music playing in the background ruin it for me personally."
- X_brokeham_X
"People underestimate how much atmosphere can make somewhere a lot less appealing."
"Once I found a chill, quiet, British-style pub with nice wooden booths and furniture where you could relax with a beer and actually talk to people, I realized why I hated going out before. I just needed a better atmosphere."
- PolkaWillNeverDie00
That Luke-Warm Feeling
"Slow service coupled to food not served hot enough because it's been sitting in the kitchen too long waiting to be delivered."
- Back2Bach
Hilariously Bad Food
"There's a famous restaurant in Denver called Casa Bonita that had legendarily bad food. I went there once as a kid, hated it, and never went back."
"But people love it and will try to convince you to go. If you point out that the food is terrible, they will even agree with you but say that it's worth it for the atmosphere. And I'm always like, it's a RESTAURANT! Who cares about the atmosphere if the food is terrible?!"
"I heard a few years ago that it's under new ownership. No idea if the food got any better."
- KatieCashew
Just... Bugs.
"A lot of good answers here but bugs top them all for me. The restaurant could have a 10/10 atmosphere, food, drinks, waitstaff, etc… but if I’m trying to swat flies away from my face and food every 10 seconds, my experience is ruined."
"I’ve left places due to this. One of my favorite places in a downtown area has an amazing outdoor patio, but there’s a bee problem there they refuse to deal with. It’s a deal breaker!"
- Strongbad23
Declining Food Quality
"Cutting quality to save money. Sometimes prices need to change, I get that as frustrating as it can be (and in all fairness that can ruin a restaurant for me just because of my budget, but I think that's an exception), but cutting quality to save money doesn't just make your food worse, it makes your image worse to your regulars."
- ParkityParkPark
Young Diners
"Children on loud devices, so d**n annoying."
- Salt_Section_651
Too Many Options
"A menu that's way too freaking big, saying this as a food service worker."
- N1hili
Not Enough Choices
"When you see a menu with like four items to choose from, you better believe all four options better be perfectly delicious."
- zuck_my_butt
So Fast-Paced
"I personally can’t stand when the bussers or servers are going at 100% speed. Makes me feel anxious and like I need to be eating quicker."
"I worked at a restaurant like this and they were borderline abusive and my coworkers would literally be sprinting around trying to get 10 things done at once. I prefer a relaxing environment and I’ll wait a bit longer to get my food."
- reignthepain
Not All Karaoke is Good Karaoke
"I went to a small restaurant that I've liked before. For some reason, the owners decided to put up a karaoke machine in the middle of the place. With the size of the place and how loud the machine was, you could hear everything at any table."
"We sat down, heard a kid trying to sing 'Let It Go' full-blast and all decided to leave."
- KingOfSheepX
Unhappy Staff
"When they don't treat/pay their staff well. You can tell, especially if you've worked in the industry, and it seeps into every aspect of the place. You can practically feel it oozing out of the walls."
- Hey_Its_Crosby
Nightmare Fuel
"Waitstaff walking towards me carrying a cake and singing Happy Birthday..."
- ccl_now
While dining out can be an awesome experience, there are obviously things that can ruin the whole vibe. But it's clear from these diners that there are certain details that will be a deal breaker, no matter what.
People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them
Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.