Hindsight really is 20/20.
I never fully understood that thought until my thirties.
So many of the things we thought were just an average part of life when were really just a whole hell of a mess.
Some "quirks" and behaviors are not meant to be the normal.
We just decide they are, but they're actually part of bigger issues.
Redditor ComfortableMess3145 wanted to compare notes on the certain things that maybe we had the wrong idea about at first. They asked:
"What is something you thought was normal but found out it isn't?"
We need to prepare. Some of our regular daily life activities maybe not the best idea.
Streaks
GIF by Ramin NazerGiphy"I have astigmatism so I see light in streaks. For the longest time I thought that was how everyone saw it."
Onirity
hence the name...
"Visual snow. My whole life, my field of vision has always been covered by shifting multi-colored dots of light. Similar to light snow on an old TV transmission, hence the name. I see it all of the time, I never don't see it, though it is worse in the dark, or if staring at the sky. In the dark or when I close my eyes, it is all I see. I thought everyone had this until my early 20s."
smuffleupagus
"roll over laughing"
"I was joking around with my friends in 8th grade History and we were trying to see how many pencils we could stick into my friend's afro (with his consent) and right as I was trying to lift my arm and put the pencil in his hair one of them cracked a joke that sent us into a fit of laughter. My arms went limp and when my friends started coaxing me to put it in I told them I couldn't."
"They were noticeably confused, so when I regained my composure I explained that everytime I laugh, my muscles go limp and I am not be able to move them. It ranges from droopy head and weak knees, to full body collapse. Because of the term 'roll over laughing' and portrayals of people in media falling over in laughter I thought this happened to everyone, and they were just better at controlling it."
"My friends all agreed that it in fact did not happen to them, and that I should get it checked with a doctor. 1 year later I was diagnosed Type 1 Narcolepsy: a sleep disorder characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness, and Cataplexy. Cataplexy happens when a trigger, such as strong emotions like laughter or fear, trigger a sudden loss of muscle tone, making it difficult to move, stand, or even breathe."
I was lucky to be diagnosed as early and quick as I was, since the condition is widely unknown outside of the context of Narcolepsy patients and specialists. The symptoms of Narcolepsy are so common, in both puberty where it starts to present more heavily, and other diagnoses such and depression and anxiety."
"It's estimated that around 1 in 2,000 people have this disorder, and the lucky few that actually get diagnosed usually only do so later in life after 5-10+ years of multiple tests and misdiagnoses. The takeaway from this is that if you think that other people 'deal with it better' or 'suck it up' or 'control it better' chances are that's not normal, and you should speak up about it."
Savannahisded
The Friend Group
"I thought it was normal for every friend group to have one person that everyone picked on for no reason. I don't mean light roasting, I mean legitimately bullying them and putting them down. My brother's friend group had one, with my brother being a primary instigator."
"I was the punching bag in my middle school friend group. It took until the end of high school/the beginning of college for me to actually be treated like a person and realize that friends aren't supposed to make you feel like crap about yourself."
yeetgodmcnechass
You're gonna hear me...
brain roar GIFGiphy"The ability to make a roaring noise in my ears by tensing a muscle. link"
Jmen4Ever
The human body is a crazy thing. I sure the animal body is a sh**show too.
Once in awhile...
toilet bathroom GIF by South Park Giphy"Pooping once in 3-7 days. Since childhood I always do it in that frequency. However, when I was 21 my doctor told me that it's not normal at all and it should be everyday thing. I always thought that everyone does it once in 3-7 days, not everyday."
2 dippy eggs, please...
"I'm from Pennsylvania. Growing up, when we went to a restaurant and I ordered my favorite eggs, I would say, '2 dippy eggs, please.' It wasn't until I got married and moved out to the western part of the country that I realized most people don't call them that. I can still see the look on the waitress's face when I asked for dippy eggs. Apparently, most people call them 'sunny side up.'"
fourjoys99
For the Pizza
"Asking for permission. I was raised to always ask permission to have water, a snack, turn on the TV, or go to the bathroom any time I am in someone else's home. My best friend's mom thought it was weird that I would ask permission for small things. Like 'May I grab a knife and fork for my pizza?' instead of 'Where can I find a knife and fork?' was super weird to her."
Awkward_Society1
Lip Service
"Not being able to watch Movies/Shows without Close Captions or subtitles. Also never understanding what they are saying on the radio. Turns out, I have an Auditory Processing Disorder. If I don't see peoples lips moving my brain doesn't recognize they are words more than half the time."
SugarLily0420
Normal? Not
Season 10 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Having OCD. The thoughts that come with it I thought were normal for YEARSSS."
foxgirl1318
Well I have a lot to think about how I live my life.
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People Reveal Which Adult Problems No One Prepared Them For
Real talk, things are just easier when we're kids.
Real talk, things are just easier when we're kids. We can get hurt and bounce right back the next day. We can stay up late and hardly feel it the next day. We can break up and it's hard for a few days, but we don't need to rearrange our entire lives. We can go to concerts without ear protection and not have our ears ringing for four days afterwards. Psh. Try any of that after you're 30 and see how that goes.
Hint: It Won't End Well
One Reddit user asked:
What adult problem did nobody prepare you for?
Here are some of the responses that we felt deep in our achy, dehydrated, bones. (Side note: When was the last time you drank some water? Hydrate, gurl. Hydrate.)
1. Pools Are A Pain
I tell everyone I know, "You don't want a swimming pool. You want a friend with a swimming pool." I have a huge inground pool in my backyard that's been sitting unused for the last 19 years. It's not like we don't want to use it, it's just too expensive to maintain and we don't have that kind of money. It sucks because my friends are always telling me to get it fixed but there's not much I can do.
2. Breakups... Adult Breakups.
You're not just losing the other person, you're losing a whole version of your life that will never take place. All the plans you had, where you were willing to live, what career choices you would make with them, all gone.
3. Time
How fast time would start moving. What do you mean I'm almost 30?? I feel like I just graduated college but then I think about it and it was already 5 years ago. My wife asked me if I was going to my high schools 10th reunion but that couldn't have possibly been 10 years ago already.
4. So Unfair
That life can be unfair no matter the effort you put in. Just need to roll with the punches. As a male who is probably a little more emotionally in touch with his feelings than the average male, this was a hard lesson to lesson to learn. The fact that I would put so much effort into something I love, pouring my heart and soul into it, only to have it shafted by life or just other people in general was gut-wrenching.
My advice when that happens is before you get too upset, don't forget to harvest the fruits of your failures. What did you learn from this experience? If attempted again, what could you do differently to get closer to the desired outcome? However unfair life may be, it usually will provide you with a learning experience. You just gotta be open and ready to see it when it presents itself.
5. I'm The Adult?
Having younger people ask for advice and realizing that I'm actually the adult in the room. Scary. Parenting is like that. When you realize you're now the one wholly in charge of another person. Who thought that was a good idea?
6. Good Job. You're Fired.
Being good at a job and still being let go. Silver lining to this is it taught me early that companies show no loyalty so I don't need to either. My first job out of college was great; it was in my home state, good salary, good benefits. Hell, I even had a pension. I had dreams of working my way up and staying there for the long haul. After all, they hired me fresh out of school, I owe them so much, right? Nope. Laid off after two years. Now I have no problem going to the highest bidder, f--- loyalty in the corporate world
7. Immaturity
That a ton of adults are just as immature as kids and having to deal with them. First you are bullied at school, then you are bullied at work. They are everywhere and they don't grow up. At worst, they end up being your bosses or your spouses relatives. Hooray. It never ends. And the worst part about this is bc they are adults they think it's ok that they're immature and you can't say anything about it... because dang it they're a grown (wo)man! 😒
8. Love Bites
That love is out of your control, you could be dating someone and love that someone with all your heart and they could just lose interest, and there is nothing you can do about it. I used to LOVE falling head over heels in love with someone and now I think I'm starting to feel jaded.... I try and shut that shit right down if I start feeling feelings. Or worse, having to break up with someone you really love because you know it's the best move for you both.
9. Cost Of Maintenance
How your body falls apart. The cost of maintenance of one's body and how fragile it seems to be. Look after yourselves folks! I'm trying to get into good exercise habits and good eating habits while I'm in my 30s but my body is already falling apart. I'm terrified for my 40s.
10. Seeing Your Parents Clearly
When you can finally see your parents for how petty and flawed they can be in a big picture sense. I don't mean teenage angst about parents thinking they know best. I mean that point where you can relate to your parent as an equal in a meaningful way which also means you can see the depth of their limitations.
Watching my parents become human, and speaking them on a deep level of shared mental illness (anxiety, depression) and their fears has just terrified me; realizing that they're just as flawed, scared, and there is no way I can rely on them in a meaningful way, well, it was what I consider the 'true death' of my childhood.
11. Friends?
Making friends after college. I'm almost 30 and no matter how many meetups I go to, what app I use, or where I volunteer, I can't seem to make a connection with someone who has similar interests as me in person. I've made connections with people who we share interests, but they live either in a different country or on the other side of the country.
12. You Might Be Mediocre
Mediocrity. When you're a kid you might not necessarily believe that you will actually be an astronaut or president or whatever, but there is an assumption you will succeed to a degree; have a good house and a decent job. No one sits you down and prepares you for the possibility that you'll just stagger through life doing the motions.
13. You Have To
Not wanting to go to work but knowing you have to. When I was in school, if I was sick staying home was always an option. Sometimes you just have to pound some DayQuil and go to work.
14. It Never Feels Settled
That there is no such thing as feeling like a grown up. I'm 42 and even my friends in their 60s are still subject to the same insecurity and immature processes as a 16-year-old, most of the time. I thought by this point in my life, I'd have no questions, no insecurities, and I'd be so suave and sophisticated.
15. Learn To Fix A Toilet
Sometimes, the toilet breaks and it doesn't matter what you had planned--your plans are now to try to learn how to fix a toilet. It's a race against your bowels! It's amazing how a household repair can take your entire day by storm. Thank goodness for Youtube and Home Depot, is all I can say.
16. Options
The difficulty of choosing between two good choices, like two good job opportunities or two decent places to live.
Growing up, it seemed like my parents only ever had two bad choices to make and would often have to choose between the lesser of two evils. I remember the first time I had to make a life decision, between two jobs and thinking, "if I do this, my life will be this; if I do that, my life will be that." There wasn't necessarily a "wrong" decision, but a decision that was going to significantly impact my life and where I lived. It was really the first crossroad I came to and realized that depending on the decision I made, my life would be vastly different had I chosen the other.
17. Planning Never Stops
It's not really one specific problem- but just the amount of planning. It's kind of exhausting.
You plan your weekdays, plan your outings, plan your weekends. You plan for meals then you have to plan your grocery shopping and list, then plan for when you'll cook. Plan your chores, plan your fixer-upper lists, plan your budget, plan your bills.... Every single thing you do, watch, read, buy, eat... YOUR choice, YOUR responsibility. Sounds amazing at first and it is nice to have that freedom, but it's actually pretty tiring day after day after day. I LOVE going on a family vacation where my aunt and uncle are in charge and they plan the meals and the outings and I can just sit back and help out with the actual cooking or cleaning up. It's nice to be a passenger every once in a while.
18. The Treadmill
The crisis when you realize you'll likely work 40 hours a week for a looooong time; the fact that you're on a treadmill that never stops. It's not going fast, but it never stops. I always realized I'd be working full time, but never really thought about it and how in order to make more money you need to have more responsibility, which means more hours, more time on-call, plus take into account driving to and from work, you pretty much do nothing but work for your entire adult life. Yikes
19. "Do What You Love"
The 'do what you love' stuff gets hyped too much. If you turn what you love into a job, you won't love it much longer. You should do what you're good at and don't hate doing. Keep your passions as pure as you can.
20. The End Is NOT Near
I was raised as Jehovah's Witness and was repeatedly told that "the end is right around the corner." JW's believe that those that survive Armageddon will live forever on Paradise earth, with a select 144,000 ruling in heaven. Even better, all your dead loved ones would be resurrected too.
I never expected to have to grow old and see my loved ones die.
Higher education is discouraged in the cult, because what's the point? The end is near, and you should be out in the ministry instead. So I'm decades behind my peers in terms of financial stability as well.
I "woke up" from the cult a few years ago and it has been difficult coming to grips with realities that most people have dealt with much younger.
H/T: Reddit