Real talk, things are just easier when we're kids. We can get hurt and bounce right back the next day. We can stay up late and hardly feel it the next day. We can break up and it's hard for a few days, but we don't need to rearrange our entire lives. We can go to concerts without ear protection and not have our ears ringing for four days afterwards. Psh. Try any of that after you're 30 and see how that goes.
Hint: It Won't End Well
One Reddit user asked:
What adult problem did nobody prepare you for?
Here are some of the responses that we felt deep in our achy, dehydrated, bones. (Side note: When was the last time you drank some water? Hydrate, gurl. Hydrate.)
1. Pools Are A Pain
I tell everyone I know, "You don't want a swimming pool. You want a friend with a swimming pool." I have a huge inground pool in my backyard that's been sitting unused for the last 19 years. It's not like we don't want to use it, it's just too expensive to maintain and we don't have that kind of money. It sucks because my friends are always telling me to get it fixed but there's not much I can do.
2. Breakups... Adult Breakups.
You're not just losing the other person, you're losing a whole version of your life that will never take place. All the plans you had, where you were willing to live, what career choices you would make with them, all gone.
3. Time
How fast time would start moving. What do you mean I'm almost 30?? I feel like I just graduated college but then I think about it and it was already 5 years ago. My wife asked me if I was going to my high schools 10th reunion but that couldn't have possibly been 10 years ago already.
4. So Unfair
That life can be unfair no matter the effort you put in. Just need to roll with the punches. As a male who is probably a little more emotionally in touch with his feelings than the average male, this was a hard lesson to lesson to learn. The fact that I would put so much effort into something I love, pouring my heart and soul into it, only to have it shafted by life or just other people in general was gut-wrenching.
My advice when that happens is before you get too upset, don't forget to harvest the fruits of your failures. What did you learn from this experience? If attempted again, what could you do differently to get closer to the desired outcome? However unfair life may be, it usually will provide you with a learning experience. You just gotta be open and ready to see it when it presents itself.
5. I'm The Adult?
Having younger people ask for advice and realizing that I'm actually the adult in the room. Scary. Parenting is like that. When you realize you're now the one wholly in charge of another person. Who thought that was a good idea?
6. Good Job. You're Fired.
Being good at a job and still being let go. Silver lining to this is it taught me early that companies show no loyalty so I don't need to either. My first job out of college was great; it was in my home state, good salary, good benefits. Hell, I even had a pension. I had dreams of working my way up and staying there for the long haul. After all, they hired me fresh out of school, I owe them so much, right? Nope. Laid off after two years. Now I have no problem going to the highest bidder, f--- loyalty in the corporate world
7. Immaturity
That a ton of adults are just as immature as kids and having to deal with them. First you are bullied at school, then you are bullied at work. They are everywhere and they don't grow up. At worst, they end up being your bosses or your spouses relatives. Hooray. It never ends. And the worst part about this is bc they are adults they think it's ok that they're immature and you can't say anything about it... because dang it they're a grown (wo)man! 😒
8. Love Bites
That love is out of your control, you could be dating someone and love that someone with all your heart and they could just lose interest, and there is nothing you can do about it. I used to LOVE falling head over heels in love with someone and now I think I'm starting to feel jaded.... I try and shut that shit right down if I start feeling feelings. Or worse, having to break up with someone you really love because you know it's the best move for you both.
9. Cost Of Maintenance
How your body falls apart. The cost of maintenance of one's body and how fragile it seems to be. Look after yourselves folks! I'm trying to get into good exercise habits and good eating habits while I'm in my 30s but my body is already falling apart. I'm terrified for my 40s.
10. Seeing Your Parents Clearly
When you can finally see your parents for how petty and flawed they can be in a big picture sense. I don't mean teenage angst about parents thinking they know best. I mean that point where you can relate to your parent as an equal in a meaningful way which also means you can see the depth of their limitations.
Watching my parents become human, and speaking them on a deep level of shared mental illness (anxiety, depression) and their fears has just terrified me; realizing that they're just as flawed, scared, and there is no way I can rely on them in a meaningful way, well, it was what I consider the 'true death' of my childhood.
11. Friends?
Making friends after college. I'm almost 30 and no matter how many meetups I go to, what app I use, or where I volunteer, I can't seem to make a connection with someone who has similar interests as me in person. I've made connections with people who we share interests, but they live either in a different country or on the other side of the country.
12. You Might Be Mediocre
Mediocrity. When you're a kid you might not necessarily believe that you will actually be an astronaut or president or whatever, but there is an assumption you will succeed to a degree; have a good house and a decent job. No one sits you down and prepares you for the possibility that you'll just stagger through life doing the motions.
13. You Have To
Not wanting to go to work but knowing you have to. When I was in school, if I was sick staying home was always an option. Sometimes you just have to pound some DayQuil and go to work.
14. It Never Feels Settled
That there is no such thing as feeling like a grown up. I'm 42 and even my friends in their 60s are still subject to the same insecurity and immature processes as a 16-year-old, most of the time. I thought by this point in my life, I'd have no questions, no insecurities, and I'd be so suave and sophisticated.
15. Learn To Fix A Toilet
Sometimes, the toilet breaks and it doesn't matter what you had planned--your plans are now to try to learn how to fix a toilet. It's a race against your bowels! It's amazing how a household repair can take your entire day by storm. Thank goodness for Youtube and Home Depot, is all I can say.
16. Options
The difficulty of choosing between two good choices, like two good job opportunities or two decent places to live.
Growing up, it seemed like my parents only ever had two bad choices to make and would often have to choose between the lesser of two evils. I remember the first time I had to make a life decision, between two jobs and thinking, "if I do this, my life will be this; if I do that, my life will be that." There wasn't necessarily a "wrong" decision, but a decision that was going to significantly impact my life and where I lived. It was really the first crossroad I came to and realized that depending on the decision I made, my life would be vastly different had I chosen the other.
17. Planning Never Stops
It's not really one specific problem- but just the amount of planning. It's kind of exhausting.
You plan your weekdays, plan your outings, plan your weekends. You plan for meals then you have to plan your grocery shopping and list, then plan for when you'll cook. Plan your chores, plan your fixer-upper lists, plan your budget, plan your bills.... Every single thing you do, watch, read, buy, eat... YOUR choice, YOUR responsibility. Sounds amazing at first and it is nice to have that freedom, but it's actually pretty tiring day after day after day. I LOVE going on a family vacation where my aunt and uncle are in charge and they plan the meals and the outings and I can just sit back and help out with the actual cooking or cleaning up. It's nice to be a passenger every once in a while.
18. The Treadmill
The crisis when you realize you'll likely work 40 hours a week for a looooong time; the fact that you're on a treadmill that never stops. It's not going fast, but it never stops. I always realized I'd be working full time, but never really thought about it and how in order to make more money you need to have more responsibility, which means more hours, more time on-call, plus take into account driving to and from work, you pretty much do nothing but work for your entire adult life. Yikes
19. "Do What You Love"
The 'do what you love' stuff gets hyped too much. If you turn what you love into a job, you won't love it much longer. You should do what you're good at and don't hate doing. Keep your passions as pure as you can.
20. The End Is NOT Near
I was raised as Jehovah's Witness and was repeatedly told that "the end is right around the corner." JW's believe that those that survive Armageddon will live forever on Paradise earth, with a select 144,000 ruling in heaven. Even better, all your dead loved ones would be resurrected too.
I never expected to have to grow old and see my loved ones die.
Higher education is discouraged in the cult, because what's the point? The end is near, and you should be out in the ministry instead. So I'm decades behind my peers in terms of financial stability as well.
I "woke up" from the cult a few years ago and it has been difficult coming to grips with realities that most people have dealt with much younger.
H/T: Reddit
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?
Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
Forward
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
- NiTlo
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
Shame...
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
Look Within
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
- supnseop
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
- allovia
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
- supnseop
The Appeal...
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
35
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
Post University...
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
Skills
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
Connections
Dont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
Cheers...
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Doggy” style…
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guy
Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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