Real talk, things are just easier when we're kids. We can get hurt and bounce right back the next day. We can stay up late and hardly feel it the next day. We can break up and it's hard for a few days, but we don't need to rearrange our entire lives. We can go to concerts without ear protection and not have our ears ringing for four days afterwards. Psh. Try any of that after you're 30 and see how that goes.
Hint: It Won't End Well
One Reddit user asked:
What adult problem did nobody prepare you for?
Here are some of the responses that we felt deep in our achy, dehydrated, bones. (Side note: When was the last time you drank some water? Hydrate, gurl. Hydrate.)
1. Pools Are A Pain
I tell everyone I know, "You don't want a swimming pool. You want a friend with a swimming pool." I have a huge inground pool in my backyard that's been sitting unused for the last 19 years. It's not like we don't want to use it, it's just too expensive to maintain and we don't have that kind of money. It sucks because my friends are always telling me to get it fixed but there's not much I can do.
2. Breakups... Adult Breakups.
You're not just losing the other person, you're losing a whole version of your life that will never take place. All the plans you had, where you were willing to live, what career choices you would make with them, all gone.
3. Time
How fast time would start moving. What do you mean I'm almost 30?? I feel like I just graduated college but then I think about it and it was already 5 years ago. My wife asked me if I was going to my high schools 10th reunion but that couldn't have possibly been 10 years ago already.
4. So Unfair
That life can be unfair no matter the effort you put in. Just need to roll with the punches. As a male who is probably a little more emotionally in touch with his feelings than the average male, this was a hard lesson to lesson to learn. The fact that I would put so much effort into something I love, pouring my heart and soul into it, only to have it shafted by life or just other people in general was gut-wrenching.
My advice when that happens is before you get too upset, don't forget to harvest the fruits of your failures. What did you learn from this experience? If attempted again, what could you do differently to get closer to the desired outcome? However unfair life may be, it usually will provide you with a learning experience. You just gotta be open and ready to see it when it presents itself.
5. I'm The Adult?
Having younger people ask for advice and realizing that I'm actually the adult in the room. Scary. Parenting is like that. When you realize you're now the one wholly in charge of another person. Who thought that was a good idea?
6. Good Job. You're Fired.
Being good at a job and still being let go. Silver lining to this is it taught me early that companies show no loyalty so I don't need to either. My first job out of college was great; it was in my home state, good salary, good benefits. Hell, I even had a pension. I had dreams of working my way up and staying there for the long haul. After all, they hired me fresh out of school, I owe them so much, right? Nope. Laid off after two years. Now I have no problem going to the highest bidder, f--- loyalty in the corporate world
7. Immaturity
That a ton of adults are just as immature as kids and having to deal with them. First you are bullied at school, then you are bullied at work. They are everywhere and they don't grow up. At worst, they end up being your bosses or your spouses relatives. Hooray. It never ends. And the worst part about this is bc they are adults they think it's ok that they're immature and you can't say anything about it... because dang it they're a grown (wo)man! 😒
8. Love Bites
That love is out of your control, you could be dating someone and love that someone with all your heart and they could just lose interest, and there is nothing you can do about it. I used to LOVE falling head over heels in love with someone and now I think I'm starting to feel jaded.... I try and shut that shit right down if I start feeling feelings. Or worse, having to break up with someone you really love because you know it's the best move for you both.
9. Cost Of Maintenance
How your body falls apart. The cost of maintenance of one's body and how fragile it seems to be. Look after yourselves folks! I'm trying to get into good exercise habits and good eating habits while I'm in my 30s but my body is already falling apart. I'm terrified for my 40s.
10. Seeing Your Parents Clearly
When you can finally see your parents for how petty and flawed they can be in a big picture sense. I don't mean teenage angst about parents thinking they know best. I mean that point where you can relate to your parent as an equal in a meaningful way which also means you can see the depth of their limitations.
Watching my parents become human, and speaking them on a deep level of shared mental illness (anxiety, depression) and their fears has just terrified me; realizing that they're just as flawed, scared, and there is no way I can rely on them in a meaningful way, well, it was what I consider the 'true death' of my childhood.
11. Friends?
Making friends after college. I'm almost 30 and no matter how many meetups I go to, what app I use, or where I volunteer, I can't seem to make a connection with someone who has similar interests as me in person. I've made connections with people who we share interests, but they live either in a different country or on the other side of the country.
12. You Might Be Mediocre
Mediocrity. When you're a kid you might not necessarily believe that you will actually be an astronaut or president or whatever, but there is an assumption you will succeed to a degree; have a good house and a decent job. No one sits you down and prepares you for the possibility that you'll just stagger through life doing the motions.
13. You Have To
Not wanting to go to work but knowing you have to. When I was in school, if I was sick staying home was always an option. Sometimes you just have to pound some DayQuil and go to work.
14. It Never Feels Settled
That there is no such thing as feeling like a grown up. I'm 42 and even my friends in their 60s are still subject to the same insecurity and immature processes as a 16-year-old, most of the time. I thought by this point in my life, I'd have no questions, no insecurities, and I'd be so suave and sophisticated.
15. Learn To Fix A Toilet
Sometimes, the toilet breaks and it doesn't matter what you had planned--your plans are now to try to learn how to fix a toilet. It's a race against your bowels! It's amazing how a household repair can take your entire day by storm. Thank goodness for Youtube and Home Depot, is all I can say.
16. Options
The difficulty of choosing between two good choices, like two good job opportunities or two decent places to live.
Growing up, it seemed like my parents only ever had two bad choices to make and would often have to choose between the lesser of two evils. I remember the first time I had to make a life decision, between two jobs and thinking, "if I do this, my life will be this; if I do that, my life will be that." There wasn't necessarily a "wrong" decision, but a decision that was going to significantly impact my life and where I lived. It was really the first crossroad I came to and realized that depending on the decision I made, my life would be vastly different had I chosen the other.
17. Planning Never Stops
It's not really one specific problem- but just the amount of planning. It's kind of exhausting.
You plan your weekdays, plan your outings, plan your weekends. You plan for meals then you have to plan your grocery shopping and list, then plan for when you'll cook. Plan your chores, plan your fixer-upper lists, plan your budget, plan your bills.... Every single thing you do, watch, read, buy, eat... YOUR choice, YOUR responsibility. Sounds amazing at first and it is nice to have that freedom, but it's actually pretty tiring day after day after day. I LOVE going on a family vacation where my aunt and uncle are in charge and they plan the meals and the outings and I can just sit back and help out with the actual cooking or cleaning up. It's nice to be a passenger every once in a while.
18. The Treadmill
The crisis when you realize you'll likely work 40 hours a week for a looooong time; the fact that you're on a treadmill that never stops. It's not going fast, but it never stops. I always realized I'd be working full time, but never really thought about it and how in order to make more money you need to have more responsibility, which means more hours, more time on-call, plus take into account driving to and from work, you pretty much do nothing but work for your entire adult life. Yikes
19. "Do What You Love"
The 'do what you love' stuff gets hyped too much. If you turn what you love into a job, you won't love it much longer. You should do what you're good at and don't hate doing. Keep your passions as pure as you can.
20. The End Is NOT Near
I was raised as Jehovah's Witness and was repeatedly told that "the end is right around the corner." JW's believe that those that survive Armageddon will live forever on Paradise earth, with a select 144,000 ruling in heaven. Even better, all your dead loved ones would be resurrected too.
I never expected to have to grow old and see my loved ones die.
Higher education is discouraged in the cult, because what's the point? The end is near, and you should be out in the ministry instead. So I'm decades behind my peers in terms of financial stability as well.
I "woke up" from the cult a few years ago and it has been difficult coming to grips with realities that most people have dealt with much younger.
H/T: Reddit
Curious to hear from those who lived to tell their distressing stories, Redditor mind_guardian asked:
"For survivors of attempted kidnapping. How did you escape?"
The following Redditor had very close calls.
Spontaneous Escape Plan
"Guy at a club and his mix of friends was insistent about coming back to a party, I politely declined. Didn't think much of it. They got increasingly aggressive about it, to a physical extent, and I left. Walking back home, I realized they were following me in their car."
"Dashed down the road through the mid-path of a packed apartment complex and just started yelling like crazy."
"No one actually responded or poked their head out or maybe they just didn't hear me. But it sparked the escape reflex of the creeps and I hid in a bush until my heart slowed down. Jumped the fence of someone's property -risky in its own right- wandered through a field, avoiding the main roads, and circled back to a side-street to home. Lucky I knew the area better than they did."
– Dangercakes13
Offering A Ride Home
"I don't know sure what this was, but i was riding my bike home alone, cutting through a deserted middle school and high school parking lots during the summer time. A man in a station wagon pulled up and offered me a ride home. I never stopped pedaling, just said no I'm fine."
"He pressed several times saying he could fit my bike in his car, it was no big deal. I kept saying no. He gave up and left. Don't know if it was just a genuinely helpful guy (this was the late 70s or early 80s so it wasn't yet completely extinct practice that strangers might offer each other rides) or a potential kidnapper."
– DiligentAdvantage475
Up In The Treehouse
"My mum was always paranoid someone would kidnap us kids from the yard. We used to play outside while she worked from home, we were 10, 8 and 6 at this time. She paid our neighbours teenage daughter to sit in the yard and watch us. Mostly she just ignored us and read a magazine with her headphones on and Walkman playing, but she was nice to us. I remember thinking this was stupid and mum was right there anyway so why did I 'basically a teenage' need to be babysat lol."
"One day we were all up in our tree house being jerks to our babysitter and unplugging her headset cord while she was trying to nap. A man and woman came into the yard via the side gate. They started talking to my youngest sibling trying to get her to climb down. The babysitter screamed for help but no one came. She ended up throwing the ladder from the treehouse over our back fence into her own yard and made us all climb into her yard with her dog who was going insane at the fence."
"We ended up locked in her house and she called the police. My mum didn't hear any of the commotion from inside the house and she won't speak about it even now that we are all adults. Never complained about my babysitter after that though."
– Dark_Valefor
The Creepy Customer
"I don’t remember how old I was, just that I was small enough to fit into the kids seat on a grocery cart. This was the early 90s and my mom had taken me grocery shopping with her. I was sitting in the grocery cart while my mom was focused on picking out produce only a few feet away when an older woman swooped in between us and started pushing the cart away quickly. I recall her smiling at me and trying to make me feel comfortable while also making the 'shh' gesture with her hand."
"I did not feel comfortable and started making enough noise to alert my mom. She ran over and loudly yelled at this stranger that this child was hers. The most chilling part that I still remember was that she didn’t flee the scene and instead made a comment about how cute I was and calmly walked away. Before she disappeared down an aisle she took one last look at me and winked."
– gnophy
People who were actually abducted talked about how they got out of their situation.
The Elderly Hero
"It was the 90s in SE Asia. I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet so my grandma took care of me while my parents were at work. My grandma had a little convenience store and one day 2 men approached her. One was in his 30s and the other was an old short man with white hair. They were carrying those hand weave basket pig cage."
"They asked my grandma if I was for sale. She told them to bugger off. While my grandma was distracted, they snatched me and I was carried away. I was kicking and screaming until they knocked me out. One of the neighbors saw me and alerted my grandma. My grandma rode her bicycle down the main street looking for me. She argued and threatened them to get me back."
"If it wasn’t for my grandma and her stubborn fierceness, I wouldn’t be here. She passed away in 2016. Love you and miss you grandma."
– Sir_Blinklot
Dumb Cabbie
"My wife told me that when she was just a teenager, she got in a cab and the cab driver just abducted her. He didn't take her to her destination, instead he took her to a hotel room. She was really scared but she kind of started playing along a little and pretended that she was interested and into it. Then he lay down on the bed, and she said something like 'Oh, I'm hungry. Can we order a pizza first?' and the cab driver said okay."
"So she picked up the phone, while she was dialing he wasn't paying attention so she disconnected the cable. Then she said, you know, I think the phone is broken. Let me go to the front desk to tell them, and I'll order the pizza while I'm there. So he says, okay sure."
"She went to the front desk and told them what was happening, they called the cops, the cops came and hauled him away."
– humanefly
Fighting For Life
"Was drugged at a small town bar, went to the bartender and asked what drink she had given me. She recited what I had ordered. I told her I asked because I'm not feeling well suddenly and it was like the world was spinning on its head. I sat at my seat because she said she hadn't seen anyone near my table/drink. Cool, whatever."
"It's getting worse and I feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't really remember what happened but a guy had led me outside and we were getting in a car. I remember hearing 'bracele' and seeing handcuff clink on my tiny a** wrist. My first response was scream, kick, anything. I already felt like vomiting and pooping so in my panic of scream and writhing around (drawing a LOT of attention from a closed car apparently) I stopped for a second and hear 'finally you b*tch' before I vomited all of the back seat, myself, and I threw myself forward to cover him as well."
"At this point I had no control between vomiting and screaming as loud I as could to vomit more, my drugged self was like 'it can't get worse for me' and I literally pulled my pants down and shat as my body saw fit. Guy never left the parking lot because of the commotion I raised."
"I remember hearing people banging on the windows and the guy freaking out, so I started screaming 'help' the best I could. The guy was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping and drugging me with meth and fet that they found on his person. Blessed be the big man 'mike' who carried my vomit poop cover self to the gym (next to the bar) where they let me shower and change."
– totallyoriginalacct
The Ultimate Betrayal
"My best friend tricked me into hanging out with her after I moved to another coast to be closer to her. Once I got there she introduced me to her 'friend' then slipped out of the house. When i asked about it he laughed and said 'you really thought she was your friend? She owes me money and you’re her payment. I’ve known about you for months. None of this was coincidental' then proceeded to pull up pics of me and conversations between them two."
"After a lot of initial crying and begging I told him I needed to go to her house to get my stuff and my phone. He told me he would get me all new stuff and I didn’t need it. Why would I go back to her. I immediately told him that he was right. I didn’t wanna go back to her. That he really saved me from her cause what kind of friend would sell me to someone. I told him that he was gonna take care of me and I knew that. I just needed my phone to let my parents know I was okay and wouldn’t see them for a bit or they’d get worried and file a report."
"After much convincing he agreed to let me go to her house around the corner to grab my stuff and come back. I took off running once I got around the corner. Had to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get home. I haven’t had a close friend since."
– [deleted]
These Redditors recalled making a run for it before anything bad could happen.
Declining An Invitation
"When I was 8 years old (f) I had just moved to a new house that was directly across the street from the school I would be starting in just a month or two. I would sometimes go to the school and play by myself for a bit. One time I was headed back home when I was approached and surrounded by a group of boys in their early teens. They told me to come hang out at their house. I shook my head and tried to run home but was blocked. The second oldest pulls out a $20 and tells me that I can have it once we get to their house. I think for a moment and decline again but am blocked again from leaving. My heart is racing and I keep looking longingly at my house."
"The boy with the money holds it out to me and says to take it and he'll give me another $20 at the house, it's in his wallet, he forgot it. The oldest chimes in telling me I would be able to buy a LOT of candy with that money. I hesitate, and start to reach my hand out to take the money and then see my chance to run between two of the boys and escape. They yelled and tried to grab me but I made it home."
"I saw some of them on occasion but I always stayed far away and they seemed to have forgotten about me. I later learned that the house they were trying to take me to belonged to a drug addicted mother who was rarely home and her son's just did whatever they wanted."
– CMaya2006
Teacher "Dad"
"I was 12 and some guy was walking towards me after school. He said, 'Hey there kiddo, You remember me, don't you!? Mom told me to take you home!' I thought, 'B*tch, that's the oldest trick in the book!' My parents told me if this ever happened, one thing I could do was run to the nearest adult and yell 'Mom, Mom' or 'Dad, Dad' So that's what I did."
"A teacher was walking into the school and I said, 'Oh Dad, there you are!' The guy got TF outta there. I explained to the teacher why I did what I did. We didn't get his plate number sadly enough."
– SMG4-Is-My-God
"It Only Takes A Second"
"When I was very little my dad took my sister and I on a river camping trip for a few days. We got to the little rural town at the end of the river where a buddy left our truck and trailer at the boat launch for us. My sister was old enough to sort of help dad with loading the boat (hold rope so it doesn’t float away while we back up etc) but I was too little to really do much so I started wandering around looking for stuff. I found a dead bumblebee and I really loved bumblebees so I decided to bury it in a little grave to pay respects. I found a patch of flowers near the edge of the boat launch, by the woods. I’m crouched down, completely absorbed by my trying to make a little cross for a headstone out of two twigs and a bit of grass, when suddenly I hear my dad’s deep, booming voice scream."
“HEY!!!”
"He was a good ten yards away from me but it was so loud I could feel it in my chest and I jump and spun around towards him. He is already halfway to me, running. His face looks scary. He looks so mad, so focused, and he’s looking over my shoulder instead of at me. I run over to him, no idea what’s happening but scared that I’d at least get in trouble if I didn’t go over to him right away. He picks me up and puts both me and my sister into the truck to finish loading by himself."
"Apparently a man tried to take me. I never even knew he was there. Dad caught sight of him just as he began lunging towards me and scared him off. I wouldn’t have known until I was already gone if he hadn’t been so aware."
"Watch your kids, it only takes a second."
– CopsaLau
A Convenient Tool
"I was about 7 at the time, and at that time i thought it was cool to carry a pocket knife, well, one day i was riding my bike, and a man knocked me over covering my mouth, i grabbed my knife and stabbed him in the side and ran inside crying."
– Toaster_Ruler
Listen To Your Gut
"I was 19 walking to work in the early hours of the morning in winter. I knew someone was following me for a little while and I was just praying I was making it up. Suddenly all the sh*t I have even been taught about self defence came forward. He grabbed me and pulled me."
"There was a moment when I turned to look at him and he laughed and it was at this point I pissed my pants. I was walking as close to the road as I physically could without being on it and I pushed my head down and then threw it back as quickly as I could."
"He fell and I ran in the middle of the road with my armsout screaming. Flagged down to cars. It was a very scary moment in my life and taught me a harsh lesson. Listen to your gut, even if you've done something 100 times if you don't feel safe you're not safe."
– Ok_Talk_90
These and hundreds of other examples on this Reddit thread reflect the sad reality of the horrors of the crime that still happen to this day.
Hopefully, what the survivors did to flee from their traumatizing situations can be a useful reminder to always stay vigilant, whether it is for yourself or your children.
And when all else fails, always scream and fight for your life before the situation can get any worse.
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Interesting points were brought up when Redditor onegrayhair asked:
"What culinary hill are you willing to die on?"
People shared cooking tips and how some foods should be prepared a certain way.
Poor Construction
"Nachos should be built wide not tall."
– DBroncos515
"I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!"
– yo_kashlee
Jaws Have Limitations
"We need to make burgers wider not taller."
– John_Lives
"If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?"
– JediTigger
Just Let It Stew
"Homemade chili is almost always better the next day."
– burritokiller1971
"And most soups and stews."
– wjglenn
Add Some Zap
"Worcestershire sauce can work magic."
– dberis
Resourcefulness
"Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did."
– urbancowgirl42
People had plenty to say about rating recipes.
Unfair Critique
"When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is."
– cliff99
Inaccurate Reviews
"Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!' At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes."
"Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!' Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?"
– randomentity1
Snobbery Is Tasteless
"Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait."
– swordcowboy
Taste Buds Don't Lie
"If it tastes good it tastes good."
– Danielwols
Some questioned others' capabilities in the kitchen while others straight up forbade them from doing something that is unfavorable.
The Complaint
"People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel."
– 3Me20
There's A Dress Code
"DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM."
– andre3kthegiant
"I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb."
– Aldayne
Cross-Contamination–Bad
"I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station."
"She complained that I 'always call her out on that.'"
"Yeah no sh*t, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups.'
"e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops."
– ChefBoredAreWe
Don't Interrupt The Cook
"Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help."
– Justice171
Not All Salads Are Good For You
"I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad."
– ArachnesChallenge
I don't consider myself a cook, but I do pat myself on the back for some of the dishes I do know how to make well.
One of those is Japanese curry. And while I can't keep from serving and eating what takes at least an hour-and-a-half to make, I do find that my leftover tastes infinitely better the next day.
I make a HUGE batch of curry sauce so I can continue enjoying it for the next few days. There's something about leaving it in the fridge and heating up portions at a time that really activate the spices.
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