Women Share The Subtly Sexist Thing Men Do Without Even Noticing.
Women Share The Subtly Sexist Thing Men Do Without Even Noticing.
Sexism is so pervasive in our culture (and across the world) that sometimes it feels like it's ingrained in us. From birth, people tend to treat male and female children differently, which shapes the way we see ourselves and others. Yes, some sexism is hard to miss, but a lot of sexism is so subtle that, many times, both parties fail to take notice. Thanks to these women, who shared the subtle micro-aggressions that occur in their everyday life. Hopefully it will help people to be more aware of their ingrained biases.
1. I'm a pilot and last week I was on a flight, standing next to the flight attendant (male) as people boarded the plane. There were two families that got on and told their kids to say hello to the pilot, while pointing at my male coworker. When I corrected the first family, they just blushed and corrected themselves. But the second family actually did something I couldn't believe. The son (probably about five years old) got panicked, turned to his father and said, "But I thought you said women couldn't drive very good."
I knelt down to the boy, to talk to him at eye-level, and said, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I've been driving planes for 15 years and I've never had a single accident. Next time your daddy says women can't drive I want you to remind him what year it is, and tell him that saying women can't drive is pretty old fashioned. Can you do that for me?"
The little boy nodded. At this point, the father was bright red as he went to his seat.
2. When they dismiss sexism. For example I was telling a guy how my boss had smacked my butt and the guy goes "Oh Its only fun and games, Don't take everything so seriously"... What the heck, its not OK !
3. Tell us we're cute/adorable/sexy when we're mad. It is massively demeaning to be legitimately angry and then smirked at and told we're 'so cute.' Along the same lines, when we have a large accomplishment at work and you say, "how'd your little presentation go?" Or tell us we're cute when we 'act all professional'. These are all ways of belittling us, our accomplishments and our emotions. Might as well talk to us in a baby voice and pat us on the head.
All that being said - I LOVE men, and guys have BY FAR been my favorite colleagues and biggest supporters. It's just odd that men in relationships seem to feel the need to take us down a few notches.
4. Whenever I have mentioned not liking strange men making comments/gestures about my body or looks, the response from guys is always 'Oh, but I'd love it if random chicks said I was sexy/handsome/whatever!' I don't like getting groped on the bus. I don't like creepy comments if I am on a run. I don't like having men make kissing noises at me when I simply walk on the footpath. These aren't compliments, and they're not pleasant.
5. The use of the word "btch." When you call a girl a btch, it means she's mean. If you call a guy a btch, it means (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
it means he's weak. Let's just think about this for a second.
6. 'Don't wear so much makeup, I think you look better without it.'
It seems to be a common misconception that girls wear makeup just to please their guy. Actually, it's about making ourselves feel better by looking better. We don't do it for you, we do it for us.
I don't actually have much experience wearing makeup (or with boys for that matter) but this is a complaint that I see a lot.
7. This is a minor thing, but has happened to me often lately. When I'm at a party and the (male) host offers whiskey to all the men, but none of the women. It's like it doesn't even occur to them that women would also enjoy something other than wine or cider. Then I'm left drooling at their whiskeys 'cause I feel that it would be rude to ask for some after specifically NOT being offered it.
8. I dunno if I can chalk this up to sexism, but I hate when guys give me unwanted advice on how to "improve" my appearance when it's obvious that by "improvement" they mean "how you can get closer to being my ideal woman," because when did I ever say I was interested in being that? Worst example, I got a haircut and a guy I knew from high school saw me and said out of nowhere, "That's nice, now just smile more and dye it brown and you'll be the perfect girl!" Perfect to whom exactly?
9. Defensively claiming that I'm calling him a rapist by pointing out that women's safety considerations are different from men's. Pointing out that "men have it just as bad" whenever someone is trying to discuss a topic like rape, domestic violence, sexual harassment, or sexism in general, never allowing the conversation to be just about women.
10. One time we were having a small-group discussion with some of my classmates in university and there was a guy in my group that was a chronic interrupter. I didn't even notice, but eventually someone in the group said: (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
"You do realize that every time you interrupt it's only when women are speaking, and every time a man is speaking, you just sit patiently until they're finished." Since then, I've noticed that phenomenon isn't specific to him. There are lots of men that only speak over women, especially now that I'm working and in meetings all day.
11. Calling other men "girly" or effeminate as the most profound insult ever.
12. When people say men are "more visual" so it's like some excuse for why they get to be horny all the time. But a woman being horny all the time? People act as if this is some absurd thought.
13. If I'm wearing something more revealing it might mean I'm looking for fun, but it does not immediately give you permission to grope me. There's significantly more steps involved. Like talking.
14. Addressing yourself to my male co-worker (back up) when I am the one in charge and making all the decisions only makes me more aggravated.
15. Several times I have heard "You play video games? Aren't you a girl?" or "Wow you play video games! That is so cool" thinking I will take it as a compliment. Video games are video games, it shouldn't matter who plays them. I am not a unicorn.
Or that good old backhanded compliment: "Wow, you don't look like a girl who plays video games."
16. I was once building four 4'x4' raised garden beds. I had already built them myself with my own power tools and just needed top soil to fill them with. Dressed in jeans, t-shirt, and ball cap I went down to the new landscaping company with my truck. I had no issues. They gave me the same treatment they usually give contractors, used a loader to fill up the bed of my truck with dirt and let me pay in the contractors' area. Great service. I was super impressed.
Unfortunately, this wasn't all the dirt I needed, so one day our whole family stopped by the same business. The only difference was I was dressed in nice clothes and my husband was with me. (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
The guy kept addressing himself to my husband, argued with me when I explained how it worked the last time I was there, argued with me over how much dirt would fit in the truck bed, and finally refused to load the dirt until I went into the store, stood in line, paid at the register, and brought him the receipt. Needless to say, I never have them any more of my business and encouraged others to avoid their store.
17. Sometimes it's not my period, I'm mad because you're just being a dick.
18. I bought a futon from LA Popular. I picked it out, I found the salesman, I signed the paper, I paid for it, it my card. The man selling it shook my boyfriend's hand, and thanked him for the purchase. He didn't even offer his hand to me. Boyfriend got to restrain me from flipping the desk over. I chewed out the salesman though. What a moron.
19. Rape jokes/casual mentions of rape within contexts where nothing but a slightly uncomfortable instance occurred. (i.e. "The background color on this website is really raping my eyes." When what they mean is that the color is bright and uncomfortable to look at.)
To me this minimizes the impact of what rape really is and how awful it is. Speaking from experience, rape is having all of your bodily autonomy ripped from you. You are no longer a person. You are just a hole/dildo for someone to use. You are now an object and therefore any autonomy you think you had is gone. Look how easily this person took it away from you. The sudden realization of this is akin to psychological torture. Well it was for me. This is especially harmful in our society where victims are still blamed for their rapes based on arbitrary standards of looks, clothes, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, etc. and a lot people don't even believe men can be victims with women as perpetrators.
Speaking personally, whenever this happens it forces me to think about what happened in some kind war flashback type thing and it's incredibly hard to snap myself out of it. It especially sucks that I'm really into the gaming community on youtube and a lot of the content providers do this. I really wish people would be more mindful of the full impact these jokes and shit have on victims. No one should be forced to have to relive their rapes like that. Such an incredibly large amount of people are victims that if you have any sort of public audience/soapbox whatsoever chances are there's a victim or two mixed in.
It's bullshit and people just need to think about what they're saying more often. That's all.
20. Why don't you just smiiiiiiiiiile?! Ew.
21. When a group of women is referred to as "the girls" and a group of men is referred to as "the men". I notice this a lot since I do (Continue)
Continue reading on the next page!
closed captioning for a living, but it's so rude. It's men and women, guys and gals, boys and girls.
22. Men in the christian church who refer to the bible verse where women should be quiet in the church. Nothing pisses me off more. The church I went to when I was younger believed in this. I remember a girl saying she wanted to be a pastor one day when she grew up, and the pastor's wife had this huge talk with her why she couldn't become one because she was a female.
23. When my fiance and I made the announcement that we were engaged, 100% of the people asked how he proposed. Uhhhh, he didn't? I also asked him on our first date. That's less of a men being sexist to women thing and just engrained gender roles, but still interesting.
24. There's the notion of the 'old fashioned gentleman' that some guys that I've been on dates with still think is sweet. If you just take a step back for a moment and think about how the 'old fashioned gentlemen' act is based on the idea that women are less capable human beings, it's pretty sexist. Yes, let's be nice and courteous to each other because that's a great thing to do. When I hold the door open for you or offer to pay, you don't have to act like it's an affront to your masculinity.
25. My current boyfriend used to have this bad habit of cussing out other drivers on the road based on their gender, 90% of whom ended up being female. Stuff like "Of course it's a woman!" when someone cuts him off, things like that. Eventually, I finally managed to drill it into him that I already had reservations about driving in this city (It's seriously the worst city to be on the roads in in Canada) and him cussing out every other woman in a driver's seat was not helping, and not appreciated. He's stopped doing it except for every once in a while, but then he catches himself and apologizes.
26. Last time I beat a coworker in a game of soccer I get off the field and hear someone say, "Wow, she beat you and she's a GIRL!" The problem with this is that this just perpetuates that idea that women shouldn't be able to beat a guy at stuff, and that this is some sort of far-out anomaly.
Continue reading on the next page!
27. After signing the lease on my most recent apartment, my landlord turns to me and says, "I'm a feminist. I only rent to women because they're better at cleaning." Thaaaaaat's not what feminism means, buddy.
28. I play video games, lots of video games. I said something along the lines of " Why are so many games about a male hero? I'd like to see a heroine." and my ex said " If they start catering to female gamers then all games will go to hell! Look at what happened with Nintendo! You're not part of their audience." like, really?
If you think all women gamers want to play bubblegum games and assume that females don't like GTA and games where you can "shoot people" you're dead wrong.
29. As a woman, if I offer an honest opinion, I'm being a btch. If a man says the same thing, he's being "hard but fair" about the situation.
30. There was a study done recently, where a team conducted research on graduate level letters of recommendation in the STEM field so for the most part these were young men and women pursuing a career in science, technology, engineering and math. The words that professors used to write letters for males and females were incredibly disparate. Men were usually described as 'genius' and 'innovative' and while women were described as 'hard-working' and 'attentive'.
31. I'm a female tattooer. When people express their surprise at the degree of my competence in my profession, it really grinds my gears.
32. In my family, all the women are expected to do the dishes after family meals. The men simply sit, chat, and fall asleep. Last Thanksgiving when my aunt poked her head into the living room and told me to come help, I poked my brother (1 year older than me) and said, "I've been helping every family meal for the past 12 years. Dave's going to sub in for the next 12 years, since he hasn't had a chance to get on the court yet. If you need anything, I'll be in here sleeping."
In the midst of our shopping, we've all seen those warning labels on product packaging that leave us absolutely rolling our eyes. Who could possibly need to be warned about that?
But since the warning exists, we have to assume that someone made that mistake at some point.
There's the added fun of unnecessary products that no one should believe would work.
But just like the directions, there seems to be a marketable need for every product and direction.
Redditor 98_percent_simian asked:
"What product is marketed pretty much exclusively to stupid people?"
"Over-the-counter 'man-boosting' products like Nugenix Total-T. Though the commercials are hilarious. 'She'll like it too!' Yeah, I bet she did, Big Frank."
"Foot detox pads. Detox anything, actually."
Trust Your Body
"It drives me crazy when people talk about how they are going to do a cleanse and detox their digestive system because they have built up sludge."
"It's insane because your digestive system works just fine. If it isn't working, you need to be in the hospital."
Paid Social Media Features
"Every social media’s paid badges. I just don’t get it. Why? Just why do we need to pay for a badge?"
"Megachurch donations that are advertised to bring you salvation or other holy benefits."
"My friend's mother had her house painted with 5g blocking paint inside and out. She then got s**tty about her mobile not getting a signal and her WiFi not working properly."
"What did she think the paint was blocking?! Honestly, I'm surprised it did anything."
"I've had people attempt to rope me in before. The trick is that they spent hours roping you into the idea of 'working for yourself,' 'being your own boss,' 'affording for your family,' and 'living wealthy.' Pain points that any common American would typically have."
"They make you go through meetings, 'interviews,' and continually feed you the mentality and never actually mention the name of the company or what the actual business is."
"Until finally, after forever, they drop the Amway, Herbalife, Mary Kay, or whatever name. By that point, they've already sold you on the 'dream' that you convince yourself to try and put in the work."
"I've looked up definitions and excerpts about what brainwashing is. It literally felt like the same thing."
"'HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.'"
"The ad never even says what HeadOn is supposed to actually do. It's supposed to relieve headaches, but they couldn't claim that because they have absolutely no proof of it maybe working."
"Essential Oils, not for the aromas, that’s all well and good but for its 'healing properties.' It’s sad when people become vehemently ill and rely on lavender to heal them or their children."
"Bunch of sad stories of children dying due to moronic parents believing in the powers of some plant over modern medicine."
"Fat loss everything."
Got Fight Milk?
"Fight Milk. I drink it every morning so I can fight like a cow."
"I'm thinking Scientology."
"When I go to Eastern Europe on vacation, there are mini-casinos on every corner. Sports betting, slot machines, etc. The middle-aged men in these clubs, frantically smoking cigarettes, hopelessly staring at the screens, with not an ounce of life in their eyes."
"Not sure if it's stupidity or desperation. But it's a sad sight to see."
"Online free IQ tests."
"Vacation Club 'points' (worse than a timeshare because it's nothing tangible)."
"My FIL offered to 'use points' to book us a vacation years back. He bought the points as a flex in front of his BIL and thought they were the greatest thing since sliced bread."
"Fast forward about two months after purchase and he makes his offer to cover a trip for us with some of the points. What he failed to mention/realize is that the points were for the ROOM ONLY."
"So as we started looking into the 'trip' being offered we realized not only would we have to pay for our flights but we would have to pay the all-inclusive fee at over 100 dollars each/per day. When we mentioned this he told us we would have to cover it because 'they cost too many points.'"
"So I did the math and hopped on Expedia to show him I could get the same trip for over 1000 dollars less when I just booked it online without the points. He REFUSED to believe this was possible until he tried to book his own trips with the points and ended up getting hosed. The look on his face when he tried to 'sell the points' (which the salesperson assured him would go for more than he paid for them if he decided to sell) was priceless."
"I bet you already guessed that the only 'customers' for the points are the company that sold them in the first place and they buy them back for pennies on the dollar." - YKYB
Some of these products and ideas have been around for a long time and continue to interest new consumers. But as some here have pointed out, the products are more about putting on a good appearance than actually delivering results.
Most people can be very guarded because of their vulnerabilities, even if you think you know them really well.
These disconcerting memories or character traits are better left undisclosed, for they can be painful for individuals to revisit or acknowledge.
On the other hand, opening up about these disturbing facts can also be therapeutic as long as they are revealed anonymously.
And the opportunity for strangers online to unburden themselves arose when Redditor _Lord_Infamous asked:
"What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?"
Certain facts about these Redditors are perplexing.
"I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me."
"There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of."
Dead Or Alive
"I’m convinced with no evidence that my father is still alive and that my whole family is lying to me. I logically know he is not. But every knock on the door I open half expecting my father. Could be something to work through … but it’s not really affecting me day to day. My grandfather died and I thought I would feel the same way. Nope. He is dead and I miss him but he is dead."
Warning: Self-Harm Trigger
"Growing up I had a recurring nightmare set in my grandparents backyard looking at the back of their house. There was just something 'off' about the house. Something mildly sinister. I dreamt this over and over, many times over the years."
"In 2018, my dad (who now owned the house) went into the backyard to that spot and killed himself."
"I haven’t had the backyard dream since."
Nightmares Come True
"I had a recurring super vivid intense dream at like 4.... my uncle was chasing us around a labyrinth with a large knife... trying to kill me and my grandmother. 25 or so years later the same uncle (complete paranoid delusional schizophrenic) murders my grandmother at her condo... with the very nice chef knife I bought her for Christmas the year before..."
"Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was shot 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house."
"I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU."
"I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have 'drop foot'. Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well."
We are not all born the same.
"I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague."
"I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye."
"When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks)."
"I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at."
People live with the unfortunate risk that their lives can be cut short at any given moment.
Ticking Time Bomb
"I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term adjusts glasses... 'instantaneous death'. I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol."
For The Sake Of Survival
"my immune system backfired and tried to murder me and almost succeeded. I now have to take multiple injections every single day all day or i'll die a painful death within a week."
"Just trying to write diabetes in the most bad-a** way."
A friend of mine once told me that the name I've known him by was not his real name.
He had gone by an alias, which everyone at work assumed was his actual name, to protect himself and his identity after he had been violently hunted down, stalked and threatened for his life for witnessing a murder.
The suspects involved were eventually caught and locked away for good.
I don't remember all the other details about the traumatizing incident because I was completely stupefied.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
We never leave two movies feeling the same way.
In some cases, we are so moved by what we just saw, that we are sobbing so loudly, we're getting concerned looks from our fellow moviegoers.
In other cases, we waste no time in leaving, as we have just spent two hours or so of our lives we'll never get back again watching something which could have been made by second graders.
And then, there are the times when we leave the theatre, and all we can think is, "what the f*ck?"
Not necessarily because it was bad, but because we can't process exactly what we just saw.
It could be something we can appreciate more over time, with repeat viewings... how many views did it take you to fully understand Inception? Be honest!
Or, we are befuddled beyond words as to how such an inane, amateurish creation ever saw the light of day.
"What is your "WTF did I just watch?" movie?"
Dystopian Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It
"You have a certain time to become married and if you fail to find a spouse you get sent to an asylum where you must find a spouse from among the other singles."
"If you again fail to find a partner, you must choose which animal you want to be turned into, and then they turn you into that animal."- Leemage
Chloë Sevigny Knows How To Pick Them...
A Podcaster's Worst Nightmare
With A Title Like That...
"Antichrist."- EwoksEwoksEwoksWillem Dafoe Smile GIFGiphy
Only 67 Minutes... But Plenty Of Gore
"Tetsuo the Ironman (would very strongly not recommend for people with weak stomachs)."- PeruvianPolarbear14
A Homicidal Car Tire... Yes You Read That Correctly...
Beyond Love, Beyond Death...
Glad It Didn't Disappoint... I Guess?
"Salo, or 120 days of Sodom."
"Granted, I had a phase where I was purposely looking for disturbing movies and this one sure didn't disappoint."- Reddit
Was The Title An Actual Apology?
"Sorry to bother you."- kappaidan
Darren Aronofsky At His Strangest...
"Mother."- dank-yharnam-nugsjennifer lawrence mother movie GIF by mother!Giphy
Meet The Parents gone wrong...
"I'm Thinking of Ending Things."- Vandalatwork
Charlie Kaufman Strikes Again!
"Being John Malkovich."- getlough
Not The Kind You're Thinking Of...
"Teeth."- timyorbaHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
One thing that can be said about all these movies, those who see them will never forget them.
Which may or may not be a good thing...
Now, which film should we add to this list?
Franklin D. Roosevelt once famously said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Words of encouragement to all Americans during his inaugural address, as America was in the midst of the great depression, with countless people having lost their jobs, their homes, and even their will to live.
While America did, indeed, bounce back, it hasn't stopped people from constantly living in fear.
Sadly, we're not talking about unfounded fears, such as ghosts or superstitions.
Unfortunately, there is plenty to be afraid of in this world, and horrifying evidence to prove it.
"What is a fact that scares you?"
"That something like close to half of murders reported in the US are never solved."
"That’s just of the reported ones."- YAYtersalad
It Could Happen To Anyone
"Any day, you could have a stroke and lose all your autonomy and become as dependant as a baby."- FrenchMaisNon
"That any of us could have a brain aneurysm right now and not even know it's coming."- becomingNope
Just The Way Things Work
"The number of people older than me will never increase."- Vinny_Lam
At Least You Wouldn't Feel It?
"For some reason, the fact that you poop/pee yourself when you die."
"I know that it won’t matter because I’ll be dead, anyway, but I’ve always been weirded out by that."- EllieK24601
Cherish Your Time Together
"That my parents and grandparents are slowly getting older and it's just a matter of time before I start losing them all one by one and there's nothing I can do about it."- Kysman95
When Nothing Ever Seems To Be Alright...
"I logically know I am fine, but my anxiety won’t let me accept that."- HotSpicedChai
Next Time you Think About Putting It Out There To The Universe...
"That outside of our planet, zero of our achievements/history/language/currency matters."
'It can all be erased in a second and there would be no knowledge of us ever existing in the first place to anyone else in the universe."
"We are meaningless outside of this sphere."- EmergencyNoodlePack
It Really Doesn't Seem That Long
"We only live for about 4,000 weeks."-_Light_The_Way
"That Dopplegangers exist."
"They say that there are at least a couple people in the world that look exactly like you without being blood related and I met mine."
"He was a f*cking criminal and got into trouble so many times with the law that I myself had been mistaken for him three times."
"The only difference was me having sleeves."
"My tattoos saved me from being mistaken for him."
"I was brought in and put in a lineup, and she said herself, 'that looks like him, but he doesn’t have a single tattoo'."
"4 hours later they found him and the sheriff’s department was dumbfounded that we weren’t twins."
"Like looking in a mirror."
"I was released, and a more than needed apology was given by the chief of police and arresting officer."- TinyoneT33
They Need Something To Keep Them Going
"The most well-educated and intelligent people are also those most afflicted with issues like despair, depression, and existential crises."
"Reality is a nightmare of horrors lying just beneath the surface, and the more aware of how things really work you are the more truly miserable you are, generally."- Emperor_Cartagia
It Could Be Comforting?
"When I die, I will be able to hear what people are saying, my last bit of brain activity will be processing those words or sounds and they will be echoed into my forever dream."
"Hope nobody says anything f*cked up.
"According to recent studies, auditory stimulus is the last sense to be lost, it's anticipated that people actually listen long enough to hear they’re pronounced dead."- TheUpsideDownWorlds·
Where Does The Time Go?
"The fact that the past 10 years of my life have flown by, and it means I got about a decade before I become the same age as my parents when I was born."
"Meaning that I’m just slowly going to age till it’s time for me to pass."
"And I still don’t even know why I’m living or what I want to do, or even feel like I’m happy."- Unhookingsnow6
"I've lived over half my life already."- Lucky-11
It's hard not to be scared by any or all of these facts.
But being afraid of just about anything almost never does anyone any good, as there is also plenty in this world to be hopeful and optimistic about.
As famously quipped in Baz Luhrmann's classic Strictly Ballroom, "A life lived in fear is a life half lived."