Racial Minorities Share Some Of The Subtly Racist Things People Say To Them Without Even Realizing
In this country American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.
1. Interviewer for a job: So how to you pronounce your name?
Me: Shee-yu Joo. [It's Shiu Ju].
Interviewer: Uhhh, okay. I'm just gonna call you Jane. Is that okay?
Me: I'm just gonna show myself out.
Anonymous
2. Can you pass the skin color crayon always meant the peach one. "Natural looking" bandaids, until recently, only came in a beige / peach tone. The term "nude" for nude bras still always refers to the ones that resemble white peoples' skin color. People describing people in stories as "a man" or "a woman" to refer to white people but then putting a race in front of everyone else, because the default is to assume white until told otherwise. There are a thousand of these tiny things, and sure they're so slight that any one of them wouldn't bother me on its own, but added up day after day, it can really make you internalize the racism and start to see yourself as lesser than.
-Anonymous
3. How they always assume I like fried chicken and watermelon. I do like those things, but still....
4. I once had a friend try to set me up with "the perfect guy" for me that she had met at work (this was before I was out, even to myself), and when I asked her why he was so "perfect" for me, she said "he's the first black guy at my office."
That was it. Full stop. He'd been there for one day, she had no idea if he was a nice guy or not. He was black, I am black. So, you know...
5. Being followed shopping in stores;
When people tell me they "don't see color" or say "you're the whitest black person I know" as if it's a compliment, or there's some way I'm acting that defines the color of my skin.
Then there was the time in high school that I went to the gym after b-ball practice to get water and a cop detained me in cuffs because the silent alarm was going off and he thought I broke into the gym and put on an organized wrestling match between my school and another.
I was the only one detained - all the white students and coaches weren't. An hour later, I was uncuffed and told to "stay out of trouble" by that cop instead of apologized to. Not so subtle, but nobody else seemed to notice or care.
6. My ex is black and he said that people would say to him "I don't even see you as black" or "I don't see color" which pissed him off because (Continued)
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what the hell is wrong with being seen as black. I noticed a very clear difference in the way he was treated by the police, I was honestly so shocked! I live in Australia and I thought that was just an American thing. Obviously not.
7. My Black friend in college was always annoyed with how they try to make everything ethnically diverse.
They were making a photo of happy students for one of the very small schools at my university that had no Black people in it, so they asked him to join. He argued that he didn't belong to that school, so they offered him coupons to the cafeteria. That whole discussion was so awkward and uncomfortable, I almost wanted the coupons to be from the local KFC.
8. When the substitute teacher needed to leave for a moment during math class and put me in charge to 'continue the lesson'. I am the only Asian in class. I am horrible at math.
Anonymous
9. The so-called 'positive' stereotypes suck... I mean, aside from being just stupid, I personally don't conform to any of them. So there's a lot of "whoa, I'm a better dancer than you! haha, I'm more Black than you are!"
Like, I hate that phrase... "I'm blacker than you..." cause I've heard it so much... No... you're not. Unless you are Black, you can't be blacker than me.
10. It's becoming more well known, but well, it's still something that a lot of white people don't understand. Hair. Black hair. People can be so rude and inappropriate about it.
Like, random stranger in the post office yesterday -- not kidding, this happened yesterday -- smiled at me in a friendly way and said "Is that your hair?"
Motherducker, it's on my head... it's mine. Whether it's extensions or it grew out of my head is none of your business. And yes, I get that people are curious, but... you wouldn't do that about anything else. A woman you don't know with really long eyelashes, would you randomly ask her if she had eyelash extensions? Of course not. that would be rude and inappropriate.
I also constantly get asked how (or even if) I wash my hair... again, many times by strangers. Again, highly inappropriate.
Oh, and the touching. Like, I'm not a cat.
And just so you know, I don't get angry like this in person, I tend to just smile and answer, but this is the internet so I'm being honest. It pisses me off. I honestly don't mind when good friends ask, but strangers? And one time a professor, in front of the class... called me out and asked me if my hair was real.
11. Guy in my civics class: What are you?
Me: I'm American.
Guy: No but like, where are your parents from?
Me: My mom's from Long Island and my Dad grew up in Iowa.
Guy: No but like, what's your ethnicity?
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Me: Judging by the dictionary, which defines ethnicity as "belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition," I'd say American. Probably also New Yorker, but that's getting into microdetails.
Guy: You don't look American.
Me: By that do you mean I don't look like an Aboriginal person or that I don't look like you? Just because your family came over from rural Ireland and mine came from Nigeria doesn't make either one of us more or less American.
Guy: Ooooooooh. So you're Nigerian.
Me: I give up.
12. Random teenager commented that it's nice my baby is part Asian because he'll probably be good at math.
13. At my small liberal arts college, for each month, the dining room would have "special dinners." Normally they only occurred once a month, and they'd give out items that they normally did not prepare.
EVERY FEBRUARY... they'd have a black-history month meal. The items on the menu were:
- Fried Chicken
- Collard Greens
- Corn Bread
- Watermelon
- Kool-aid
14. Turning up at South African border control in their international airport with a Portuguese passport and being asked if I had arrived to sell fruit and veg.
15. One time my class was going on a rather expensive field trip. The teacher announced that we could fundraise to subsidize the cost, and to see her for forms. After class, she makes a beeline to me and puts a paper in my hand. "Here you go, Trey. If you need any more help don't be afraid to ask." I don't know if it was the color of my skin or the way I dressed or both, but I just turned to her and said, "Ms. Brown, my parents are some of the wealthiest people in this city, I'm sure someone else could use the help more than myself." The look on her face was priceless. The truth? I lied. I'm from an upper middle class family, not super wealthy but definitely well off enough to pay for my field trip. I just wanted to see her reaction, and call her on her assumptions.
Anonymous
16. When I joined student council and the president said I should be treasurer because I'm Jewish, so I "could save everyone a lot of money." I know it's not racism, but it was really a bizarre experience.
17. I don't think this counts as racism, mostly just people being ignorant about history. Being asked where my family is "really" from or what my family's homeland is.
Do people not understand what slavery is? We're given the ethnicity African American because we (Continued)
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because we have no way of knowing where the heck we're from. Our ethnic/racial classification is an entire continent because we have no true homeland. People that migrate from Africa aren't African Americans, they're Kenyan-Americans, Egytian-Americans, Tunisian-Americans and so on. I don't think people understand the frustration of just having to pick a random country and culture to follow when none of them are really yours.
18. Having employees/loss prevention officers follow you in stores. Especially the ones that dress and pose as regular customers, after about the age of fifteen I'd confront them. Sadly a few weeks later the same officer would be following me around again.
19. I always think it's interesting how our language subtly shapes our perceptions of color, and as a kid I was totally unaware of this ingrained fear. For example:
- Money earned through illegal methods or money on which tax is not paid is called black money, but legal money is called white money.
- Culture equates white with being good and pure, and black with being evil. Notice how heroes usually wear white, and villains wear black cloaks.
- Blackening is a word that means to damage or blot someones reputation or to make something black. Whitening means to make something white. Why does blackening also have a negative connotation
20. You're so articulate: as if I'm not expected to, based solely on my race, Women clutching purses as you walk past; Men holding women tighter to them as you pass
21. Being asked if you are legal at college admissions by the admission girls even though you are a citizen but just brown.
Anonymous
22. White people living in a foreign country: Expat
Non-White people living in a foreign country: Immigrant
23. I'm a Black woman, my husband is white. We have mixed-race kids. When he takes them out into public alone (Continued)
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When he takes them out into public alone people assume they're adopted. When I take them into public alone, people assume I'm their nanny.
Anonymous
24. Had a business meeting in an office on Wall Street. The concierge asked me if I was the new janitor.
"I'm here to meet with [president of company] you should have me in your schedule."
"I'm so sorry."
Anonymous
25. When I mention subtle racism like everything that's already been mentioned, and a white person tries to "explain" to me how I'm wrong or what it's actually like to be Brown.
Anonymous
26. Athletic scholarships. Many sports require complex facilities or lots of equipment, putting them out of reach of many urban leagues or school districts.
27. Anytime anyone brown or black commits a crime, their race is reported on the news. When it's a white person, it's just a "man" or "woman" who committed the crime. This is so small, but so significant. If you're only ever hearing about certain races (or religions for that matter) committing crimes, you're more likely to (Continue)
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If you're only ever hearing about certain races (or religions for that matter) committing crimes, you're more likely to associate those people with criminal activity. Especially if you are living in a mostly white community, this is super dangerous, because that's the only impression you form of other races.
-Anonymous
28. Being told by a woman at a bar that "even though I'm Asian" she could "definitely be into dating" me. I nope'd my way out of that one fast. The whole dating scene is really hard for Asian males.
-Anonymous
29. "I like you. You're not like the other Koreans."
-Anonymous
30. Ancestral national heritage.
Europeans and American descendants of Europeans readily have their ancestry acknowledged by country. South-East Asian and South American descendants or immigrants, less so. South Asians, native Americans, middle-westerners, and Africans (and their descendants/immigrants) are not afforded the same opportunity to regularly present or be known by a specific nationality.
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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