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Tell-Tale Signs That A Couple Won't Last Very Long

Reddit user ADTID asked: 'What screams "we are not going to last long" for couples?'

A paper heart torn in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Whether or not we want to admit it, we'd like to believe in love lasting forever and happily-ever-afters.

But some couples are not destined to last forever.

And perhaps not surprisingly, there are some tell-tale signs that a couple is doomed to fail.


Redditor ADTID asked:

"What screams 'we are not going to last long' for couples?"

An Accidental... Engagement?

"A recent personal experience I witnessed."

"The entire immediate family of one side of a wedding said it was a bad idea and less than a month into the marriage one of them stayed at their mom's house for the night because they were fighting."

"Also, they got engaged as a result of a failed breakup attempt..."

- UNCLETROUBLE24

"I had a friend that did this. He kept dumping her and the last time, she just told him she had enough."

"The next day, he came back, begging for her and swearing that he loved her more than anything in the world."

"And she told him to prove it."

"So he proposed. She didn't know what to do, so she said yes and it went downhill from there."

- minilibrarian

An Incompatible Future

"If they have strongly conflicted plans for their future. Either means they'll break up eventually or one or both of them will end up in an unhappy compromise."

- slinkocat

"Do not get married if one of you wants kids and the other doesn't. It is a whole mess."

"I have an aunt and uncle who I love dearly. He wanted kids badly and she did not. They almost divorced over it, but eventually worked through it. Traveled the world, had beautiful properties, the whole nine yards."

"Now she is in her 60s, and every time she drinks, she talks about how she should have had kids, and my uncle gets this look on his face that is difficult to describe, but it's not good."

- sanslumiere

On Again, Off Again

"Breaking up every few minutes and then back together again."

- Substantial_Pen_4445

"Especially in the first couple of months."

- SlapHappyDude

Obviously Controlling

"When the dynamic is super obvious to outsiders early on, that’s a bad sign."

"Whatever is happening on the outside is always worse on the inside."

"I know a couple where the woman will just berate her man publicly. She’ll talk to him like he’s an actual child. She tells him how much he’s allowed to do certain things, but twists it so it doesn’t look as bad. It’s as if she genuinely thinks he’s mentally disabled or something, except she only does it when she’s being controlling."

"For example, she hates when he plays video games. She thinks it’s immature and a waste of time that could be spent hanging out with her or being productive. She thinks it’s embarrassing that he plays video games."

"So he has to sneak around to play video games at other people's houses so that he can play it off as if it’s the other person's fault that he was playing. Like, 'Oh, Mike wanted to play, and I just couldn’t say no at his house.'"

"Now, I have seen this couple having a semi-private fight. They’re very loud and literally go one room away from their guests to have fights."

"This woman will berate the way he talks during fights and literally mock him to his face in a baby voice like, 'Nanana, I’m a grown man and I still play video games,' instead of actually making real commentary on the argument. This breaks his spirit and he ends up just exhausting during the fight and succumbing to whatever she wants. And the things she wants are super inconsistent, so he can’t win there, either."

"The public thinks she doesn’t like video games and looks down on him for it. But privately she’s completely broken this guy's spirit and he can’t escape the cycle due to constant emotional exhaustion."

"And that’s not even TRUE privacy. That’s when I’m in another room. God only knows how bad it is when they’re completely alone together. I hear some of it because this guy has come to my house when she kicks him out for the night, and he vents to me (while we play hours of video games of course, lol (laughing out loud))."

"This is shockingly common. I know, like, eight people who have at one point been in a relationship like this. Whatever abusive behavior is seen publicly is always ALWAYS worse behind closed doors."

"I’ve told him blatantly that he should leave her."

"He always says things along the lines of, 'You’re right,' but then ends up back with her within a few days."

"They’ve been together for so long, I think it’s a sunk-cost situation for him."

"I am doing everything I can by being a place he can crash for the night and voicing my opinions. We’ve tried to talk to the woman before, too, but that ends up just making the guy’s life harder."

"Anyone who’s reading this and thinks it sounds familiar, if one or two friends say your SO (significant other) sucks, maybe it’s a fluke. If ALL your friends say they suck, or they think you might be in an abusive relationship, consider how you can’t see it as clearly through your rose-tinted glasses."

- MomLuvsDreamAnalysis

The Fatal Attempts to Fix

"When one person wants to 'fix' the other. If your relationship is a repair project, you didn't fall in love with who they are. You fell in love with what you want them to be."

- jiff1912

Walking on Eggshells

"'Walking on eggshells’ around your partner in terms of what you can and can’t say. if you feel you can’t disagree with your partner and/or voice your opinion without it turning into an argument."

- shelby75R

"That can be 'not going to last' or 'lasts several years too long.'"

- VanFailin

An Audience for Their Arguments

"The way they speak to each other when they’re not alone."

"I noticed this after my divorce and I started dating again, because you speak to these new people with a lot of respect and kindness. Then we’d get around married couples and they’d say awful things to each other in nasty snappy tones, and it was jarring."

"Fast forward ten years and all those couples I noticed doing that are divorced now."

- SnoBunny1982

"When both make the atmosphere so uncomfortable when you are in their house."

- Big-Nerve-9574

Wedding Day Etiquette

"When he smashes her face in the cake at the wedding and she hates it."

- A_wild_Mel_appears

"I did the manly thing and asked my wife. She said no, she was spending hours doing makeup and didn’t want to ruin it. So instead I gave her a tiny forkful to eat and it was great."

- MoobyTheGoldenSock

Very Public Relationships

"My cousin emptied out her bank account, her ex-husband's bank account, and borrowed from their relatives to fund a $25k wedding."

"They broke up about a year later. They were together for over 10 years before this."

"They also posted pictures the morning after while in bed still... It was just another sign they’re insecure about their relationship, over posting about how great it is all the time."

- StainedBrain1997

"A childhood friend posts five or six photos of her and her husband every day. The lighting is always magazine perfect, there is good composition and depth of field. It must take an hour of every day."

"I just want to be like, 'Girl, are you okay?'"

- PreferredSelection

Lack of Communication

"Lack of communication."

"Discussing every disagreement means screaming over each other, exploding, shutting off communications, and/or running out of the room."

"So they won't be able to resolve anything in a constructive manner."

- Bebe_Bleau

Arguing Too Much, or Too Little

"If all disagreements end in arguments."

"My partner and I disagree about a lot of stuff. But we can talk, discuss, and even sometimes agree with the other person's side."

"It'd be weird if you saw eye to eye on 100% of stuff too."

- jayhitter

Open Marriage Solutions

"When they think opening their marriage will fix their problems."

- randomname196

"My wife and I had two different pairs of married friends who brought in 'a third' to spice up their marriage. We now have four separate friends who we can't hang out with together."

- DigitalZiggurat

Apathetic Reactions

"I was at a party one time, and there was a marriage counselor there that had been working for 20-something years in couples counseling."

"I asked her what the number one sign was that the couple wasn't going to make it."

"Without hesitating, she said, 'If one person shows contempt for the other's feelings, it's over!'"

- Marauder

"This is the answer, well, one of them. John Gottman calls contempt, defensiveness, being critical, and stonewalling the 'Four Horsemen of Relationships.'"

"In other words, they are the signs that things are deeply not okay between the two people involved."

"Looking at past relationships, contempt is the big one. Once that entered the picture from either side, it was all downhill from there."

- ifnotmewh0

Adding a Child to the Mix

"Having a kid to 'fix' their relationship."

- ThingsOfThatNaychah

"Being a kid with divorced parents is bad."

"But being a kid with parents that should be divorced but aren't is way worse."

- AvergeMortisEnjoyer

An Undeniable List

"In my experience:"

"1. Contempt / mockery."

"2. Lack of communication / respect / empathy for the other person."

"3. Glue babies."

"4. Having a wedding as opposed to making a marriage."

"With the exception of children, consistently and habitually prioritizing others over their SO (significant other)."

"Then there are the things that for me are default dealbreakers: any kind of abuse, cheating, financial dishonesty, violence, gaslighting. This criteria also applies to their treatment of my children where applicable."

- PugWitch

There are always going to be relationships that aren't going to work out, but there are some that are literally doomed to fail, and that latter group is pretty obviously on the path to ending to everyone outside of the relationship long before the actual couple is even aware of it.

BFFs don’t always last forever, and even the best of friendships can end in the worst ways. From unpaid debts to spreading gossip, these people took to Reddit to share the most memorable and infuriating reasons why they broke off a friendship.

1. Wild Support Payments

I lost close to $5,000 to a friend. He was going through a bad breakup and needed to pay child support. He told me that the first child support payment had gone out of his account without him expecting it and he had nothing to cover his expenses and rent for the month. I loaned him a total of $5,000 over about three weeks, and this was also when my wife and I were planning our wedding so we had a heap of expenses, but a bro needs help and that was a priority. Later, I found out the dark truth about him.

Some mutual friends confessed to me that he’d used the money on living large and a few big weekends out with girls. I confronted him, he told me he couldn’t pay, then started ducking me. I moved away after I got married and he ended up no longer speaking to our group of friends once they all found out about it. Ten years of friendship, gone.

zhwak

2. Son Of A…

I went on a mini-vacation, which was supposed to be four days, with my best friend in 2021 to New Jersey. She brought her then-eight-year-old son, and I brought my then-four-year-old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, dropped curse words, had a nasty attitude, and was so mean to my daughter the entire trip.

The last straw was on the morning of the third day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter's hand. She started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a "whiny baby".

We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we were leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn, and peeled out of her driveway.

permalink

3. Jurassic Snark

Jurassic World | A New Vision on Vimeovimeo.com

I cut ties with my friend due to lots of little things that eventually became too much. For example, 7-8 years ago, he bought 15 tickets for a midnight premiere of Jurassic World for our entire friends group to attend.

The day of the show, he texted me to tell me that he forgot to buy "my" ticket, so I couldn't go. Of the 15 he bought, how did he decide it was "my" ticket that he didn't buy? Well, it turns out, he gave my ticket to a girl he met the week prior so he could take her instead.

That was just one of many things.

It's all truly minor stuff like that, but when you have 100 minor things, it becomes clear that they aren't actually your friend anymore.

Alwaysmyfault

4. Two In One

My mom’s friend had a son that was 3-4 years younger than me so we became friends by default. Honestly, I just tolerated him because was a foul-mouthed little instigator whose mom let him get away with everything and never disciplined him—but then he went too far.

One summer day we had all just gotten back from going somewhere, I had gotten myself in trouble with Mom and was given a time out on the front porch while our moms went inside.

He proceeded to get my toy cars out, and while I’m sitting there he starts throwing them at me and calling me names with every throw. I’d had enough of being pelted and threw one back. And he screamed his head off and started bawling. But I wasn’t the only one who lost a friend that day.

His mom came out of the house, scooped him up, yelled at me, and took off in her car. My mom asked me what happened and I told her. She didn’t blame me for not taking it, and called up his mom to explain everything. She wouldn’t hear it, hung up on my mom and that was it.

Storyteller678

5. A Friendly B&E

It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation which we normally spend in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back on that day and my friend was talking to me, telling me he saw the authorities by our house and he hopes everything is OK.

It was horrible. There was stuff stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down, and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the move from that country and that was that. A year later, he sent me a long email explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it, that his friends were the perpetrators, and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them.

When we showed the email to the authorities and they questioned him, it turned out he was part of that group as well.

JustSayGGBro

6. DU Why?

man holding steering wheelPhoto by Luke Ellis-Craven on Unsplash

My friend got a D.U.I. while driving my car and then lied about it and lied about why my car was towed—but he didn’t stop there. He lied about losing his license. Suddenly, he just wanted to walk everywhere for the exercise. He lied to my friends and told them it was my fault because my registration had lapsed. And when I finally confronted him about it…he kept lying.

Automatic-Pick-2481

7. Neutralize The Threat

My friend’s girlfriend got mad at him for being at my birthday party. He was my best buddy ever since second grade, my parents and even my grandparents adored him. The day after my birthday, I got a call from him. I could hear her voice in the background, he was so loud telling me to delete all the photos we took on my birthday and cut ties with him.

She made him block me everywhere and I was sad for some weeks. I'm still tearing up typing this. I was the first one he opened up about his relationship with. I used to ask how she is every time I saw or called him. I tried to be friends with her but she didn't care. The thing is that he has other female best friends too—but she has a problem with me. And we don't even see each other often after graduating because of the distance, and don't text or call often because of our studies. It was after months I got to see him on my birthday. I miss him but I have to respect their relationship.

Careless-Shallot-416

8. Ultimate Betrayal

My friend was telling my girlfriend at the time she should break up with me—but that’s not the most twisted part. This was happening a few weeks after my mother’s death and I was still dealing with the trauma. He successfully managed to talk her into dumping me, only for me to find out they'd been sleeping with each other a week beforehand. To add to this, he didn't even have the balls to tell me to my face, I had to find out from a mutual friend. I'm glad I haven't seen that jerk again.

Digitbh

9. She Wanted A Maid, Not A Bridesmaid

woman in white dress holding bouquet of flowersPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

My friend told me I was her best friend, but didn’t put me in her wedding party. But then she continued to ask me for wedding styling advice for her bridesmaids. It all stung but I got over it. She then told me she needed me at her bachelorette and I was helping her brainstorm ideas.

We talked daily. One morning we talked like normal and that evening I saw posts of her on her bachelorette. We’d been best friends since high school, but she had a girl she’d only known for six months on the trip with her. Her response when I asked about it? “Oh someone surprised me with it, sorry you’re upset”.

I blocked her and haven’t looked back—and I’ve been a bridesmaid for better friends multiple times since.

AnxiousBlob8

10. Escaping The Friendzone

This one friend I had in particular seemed to be giving me real signals. She was being really flirty, saying things verbally that were almost flat-out saying she wanted it, and touching me on more than one occasion. But then later, she would go on about how we are just friends.

All this happens, then I hear her talking about one of her other friends one night—a guy I also know. What she said made my blood run cold. She told the other girl: "Yeah he would love to get a piece of me but I'll never let him, I always make him think he has a chance though. When we go out to a club I will grind up against him and turn him on", and she was also encouraging the other girl to try and turn this dude on/tease him too.

Forget that. That guy isn't your toy, and neither am I. Being flirty is one thing, but purposely turning guys on just for your own ego trip is another. I haven't been friends with her since, and I don't regret it one bit.

SomeguyUK

11. Office Space

My best friend since high school chose her Microsoft coworkers from five years ago to be her bridesmaids over her actual best friends. We had always talked about how I would be in her wedding party, and of course, she had been in mine. I was hurt and confused. I messaged her on Insta asking what I did wrong a few months before the wedding, and then promptly unsent it. The aftermath was brutal.

She saw the message pre-delete and then proceeded to ignore me and be totally rude to me at the wedding. She pretended I didn’t exist. She didn’t invite me to the pre-wedding hike. Her other best friends didn’t know who the heck her bridesmaids were either & came up to me & said they were shocked I wasn’t in the wedding party.

She came up to me crying at the after-party, buried her head in my shoulders, and told me how sorry she was and that she loves me. She thought I didn't like her fiancée. I never expressed such a thing. Apparently, that’s why none of her best friends were included. And these random Microsoft people? She thought they “worked well as a team”.

Somebody who can be that cold to their closest friends is not somebody worth keeping around. I still talk to her a ton because we have a lot in common and there’s obviously a lot that I like about her. But I’ll never come to her with real things again, and our actual deep friendship is over.

Kalepopsicle

12. Best Man To Worst Man

selective focus photography of Pinocchio puppetPhoto by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

My friend was seeing a woman and moved in with her. We'd hang out when we went there to visit and everything was fine, but he would come to our city and visit and would cheat on her. He kept claiming everything was on the up and the girl he was in a relationship with was fine with that.

Well, at some point my wife friended her on Facebook and my friend lost his mind over it. He was saying my wife was meddling in their relationship, etc. But here's the thing, if everything was on the up, why would that have bothered him? Clearly, he had been lying to us. And a shame because the girl he was seeing was so sweet.

We had to cut ties because it was just so hard to watch him mistreat someone. We were the best men in each other's weddings and all, but he changed after his divorce. He treated people around him terribly. Our friendship of about 20 years ended just like that.

Mulletpullet

13. Just Own Up

I loaned my friend $250,000 to pursue his real estate dream and six months later he ghosted me. He ignored about 50 emails/texts/calls/postcards and two certified letters. Infuriating!! He also stopped paying real estate taxes on it without telling me. I lived across the country so it was extremely hard to manage the resolution. I eventually got all the money back but no help from him.

I think we could have still been fine if he had kept communicating, and acknowledged the errors. We finally talked—but what he said on the call broke my heart.

We were trying to patch things up, but he admitted only to the taxes part, not to all the other stuff. I had known him since college, like 30 years. Sheesh

RevolutionaryMood471

14. Friendus Disappearus

My 16-year-old sister got me tickets to the Harry Potter exhibit in New York City when I was 13. She spent her own money on it for two tickets. Me and her. My best friend found out and threw a fit at her mother that “She should be going because she is a bigger fan” and the mother massaged my sister to tell her to give her ticket to her daughter because “It’s the right thing to do”.

My sister told her to get lost.

IEatBobbyFlays

15. Not-So-Sober Companions

people gathering on street during daytimePhoto by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

I cut off my friends when I realized that all we had in common was binge drinking. They offered no support when it came to my attempts to cut back. Instead, they got irritated when I didn’t want to go to the bars. I kept saying no and explaining I wanted to avoid situations with drinking—but one guy was so much worse than the others.

He told me that I couldn’t be part of “our” friend group if you don’t like going out drinking as some sort of intimidation tactic.

Minimum_Asparagus_60

16. No More Free Therapy

I didn't realize that slowly, over 20 years, my friend had basically turned me into her own personal therapist. Every single day, almost 24/7, she'd be calling and texting, expecting me to sort out every single one of her problems, and validate her hurtful behavior.

Then one day at the end of last year, I got into an accident that left me hospitalized. Whilst I was mostly fine functionally, I had a lot of scarring and was told that I might need skin graft surgery later down the line, depending on how it healed.

My best friend since we were 11 didn't even ask how I was. Not once, not for two whole months. The only time she acknowledged that I was even injured was when she said, "That's a bad way to start the morning" when I told her that I was in emergency.

She just...didn't care.

And once I realized that, walking away was easy. I haven't missed her at all, the best decision I ever made.

CrazySnekGirl

17. Dear John…

I had a friend that was with me since we were three years old. Let’s call him “John”. About ten years after we met, we were going to this youth camp together. I’m so excited that John’s coming with me. But he seems…different. There’s another friend coming along with him, and now John is constantly avoiding me. This went on for about a day at the camp…before the avoidance turned into being nasty. He was constantly insulting me.

At some point, I had a panic attack at the camp—not related to John being a jerk and all—and here’s how our conversation went, with a few other friends watching:

John: “So where even were you last night?? You weren’t at the dorm”.

Me: “I had a panic attack, so I was told to sleep somewhere else. I dunno why”..

John: “Oh, so you have mental issues. Haha”.

Later, as I was playing with another friend that I had met at the camp, John came over to me with his other friend. The new friend that I was playing with said: “Oh, are you one of his friends too, John”? John’s answer was devastating.

He said: “Nah, he thinks we’re friends but I’m just forced to watch him all the time”.

That was the last straw. I was done talking to him from that point on.

But then, weeks later, I received a call from John. I picked up, and he was just talking to me as if he had never been mean to me. Ever. He was just talking about some random stuff about Minecraft. I just mumbled some “okay”s and went on with my day, confused.

I decided to call him later, and I confronted him about what happened at the camp. He said he never said any of those things. I said I’m pretty sure he did. He said: “I was just kidding about the mental issues thing”. He denied that he ever said the stuff about not being my friend though.

Throughout the entire call, he never apologized. And the worst part is, I almost believed him. I almost thought that I was just imagining it, and that maybe John was a good friend after all. Keep in mind I wasn’t very mature yet, despite my age. So I just…sort of…continued thinking of him as a friend. But as I did mature, I just started cutting contact with him, and we never spoke again.

Human_Possibility117

18. Kissing Cousins

silhouette of man and woman about to kiss on beach during sunsetPhoto by Annette Sousa on Unsplash

My BFF’s cousin made a pass at me while I was visiting her. The cousin was in a long-term, committed relationship at the time. I never saw or spoke to the cousin before or after the pass he made at me. He kissed me out of nowhere that one night.

My BFF called me a week later because the cousin dumped his girlfriend and asked my BFF if she could call me and connect us. She blamed me for ruining her cousin’s relationship and life. She was angry at me. We never spoke again.

Mean-Yak2616

19. Brunch Is On You

There was a lot that led up to it, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was a trip where I went out and visited her after a year of her guilting me for not coming. I was a classroom teacher, so paid time off during the school year was hard. I was also working on my MA thesis.

When I arrived, she left me at the airport for five hours because she decided it was a good time to break up with her boyfriend. Nothing big had happened, she just wasn’t feeling it and wanted to do it when I would be there for support. That was the first red flag—but there were more.

The next morning she took me out for an EXPENSIVE brunch where she drank a whole bunch. When it came time to pay she’d forgotten her wallet.

The next day was a Monday. She was also a classroom teacher and wanted me to visit her school. I told her I could, but asked if she could take me to a coffee shop on my lunch break because I needed to work on my thesis. She did but told me not to go anywhere cause it wasn’t a good area. She said she’d pick me up at 3:00. At 3:30 I tried calling and she didn’t answer. She ended up finally coming at 5:00, saying she’d had a phone interview for a new job.

She asked me to take a cab (this was before Uber) that evening to get to the airport because my flight (which left at 9:00) was too late and she’d be tired for work. I also had to work the next day.

I didn’t hear from her for six months until she came back to town and texted “Hey! This is your estranged best friend. Maybe we could reunite and you could pick me up from the airport and we could get lunch”? This airport was an hour away, in the middle of the school day. I told her no.

pillowfortsnacks

20. Wake Up, Sheeple

My friend went DEEP down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole. I’m talking flat earth, Columbine false flags, Lizard People, and 2012. Obviously today, he’s on the “the jab is going to kill us all”.

If it was just an interest of his he liked to talk about, I’d be fine with it. But it was a thing where he couldn’t stop talking about it and berated anyone who disagreed with him. He turned into a complete weirdo.

Longhorn2118

21. Food Fight

person in white shirt standing in front of foodPhoto by CDC on Unsplash

My best friend in high school started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I distanced myself from her and she started trying to spread false rumors about me because she was mad.

One day at lunch in the cafeteria, she came up behind me, picked up my tray—that had fries, nuggets, and two big puddles of ketchup and BBQ sauce—and smacked me across the face with it. Well, I wasn’t about to let her get away with it.

I immediately got up and set up in a fighting stance. She tried to lunge at me, so I did what any normal petite girl would have done…I side-kicked her so hard in her abdomen that she fell back and got laid out on a lunch table.

Thank goodness I had endured years of fighting my older brother and male cousins. Anyway, years later I ran into her. She had taken up boxing.

AcornTopHat

22. Time To Socially Distance

The pandemic ruined my friendship. I have been friends with her since I was in diapers but I am also disabled and highly at risk of dying. She drank the Kool-Aid. The last straw was when she kept saying only people with pre-existing conditions would die so the rest of society should continue on as usual. Except I’m one of those people that would die…

Teapotscandal

23. Bye, Soul Sister

My former best friend and I were together 24/7 for like 7 years. He was my soulmate but not in an intimate way, like a “soul sister”. He’s gay, so we would call each other sisters. We moved to a different city together and everything was great for a few months then he started asking for help for his portion of the rent—which I was okay with AT FIRST—but he would take longer and longer to get it back to me and eventually, I wouldn't receive it for months.

It was his first apartment but I had been living on my own for a while already, so I was used to the rent payments and utilities, but I guess he wasn’t. But he would still buy weed and go out for drinks with friends. I finally confronted him about it and said that he can’t be spending money on these “luxuries” whenever he has debt to pay me. His reaction was insane. He completely blew up on me.

One month after renewing our lease—I know, stupid of me—he told me that he wanted to live alone. Little did I know he was actually going to move in with another friend of his. He left very suddenly and when I tried contacting him about his part of the rent and utilities for the last month, he blocked me.

So I called up the friend he was now living with and he refused to speak with me. His new roommate said sorry, hung up, and blocked me too. I was stuck paying almost $3,000 by myself—thankfully I was good at saving money—and he still hasn’t paid me back any of it four years later. I’ve given up on getting my money—but I didn’t expect him to act the way he did when I saw him again.

About a year ago, I was hanging out with friends from our hometown—they were mutual friends because we were always together—and he showed up randomly. It was a good evening but I knew in my head that I wasn't doing this again. He said it was just like “old times” and he missed me but I wasn't going to get caught up in that again.

To this day, he sends me memories on Snapchat and says “We were so cute” and I just reply with a heart emoji and that’s it. I would delete him off Snapchat but I don't want there to be any drama between my friends and him because he's definitely one to cause drama if something like that happens… and he likes to make people choose sides. I really don’t know how I didn’t see any of this when we were besties but I’m glad it’s over,

Neenerfae

24. Time To Cut Ties

men standing while salutePhoto by Luemen Rutkowski on Unsplash

My old Navy buddy got into some trouble involving a girl. He got detained and falsely charged. The girl lied to the authorities about the whole thing. He was so depressed about it that he tried to hang himself with the bedsheets in cell after his initial arrest. Then he spent years trying to clear his name.

During that time the girl was in and out of rehab and had been caught lying multiple times. Nothing went his way and I was nothing but supportive toward him. Then he started lashing out at me regularly. I would try to joke around with him like we used to and he would accuse me of talking down to him or trying to mess his life up when all I would ever do is be an ear for him to vent to.

I would listen to all of his problems and frustrations, and basically, whenever I would have any type of input he would immediately take it the wrong way and lash out. I finally had enough and snapped on him one day and called him an unbelievable jerk.

He immediately shut me out of his life and probably to this day still thinks I was the bad guy. I still never understood what I did, I think he was just using me as an emotional punching bag. He was my best friend for 10 years and seeing him so broken was incredibly heartbreaking.

Luckily he’s a lot better now and we talk from time to time but not in any way like before. We might as well just be casual acquaintances who barely know each other now. Maybe it’s for the best because I couldn't imagine ever treating a close friend the way he treated me. A good life lesson I guess, sometimes you just need to cut nasty people out of your life.

Emansamples92

25. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

There was one guy I was good friends with back in middle school. Everyone in the school hated him and I was scared for his mental health back then, so I decided to become friends with him, not wanting to see him take his own life. He eventually moved away but we were still on good terms—but then he took a dark turn.

Cut to a few years later and he’s now big into politics, claiming things about Latinos and religion—both groups of which I am a part of—that are hateful and just flat-out untrue. Needless to say, I cut all ties with him, I can’t believe this is what I get for sacrificing my social life for him.

Punny-Aggron

26. Just Married

My friend no-showed to my wedding. We had been drifting apart already for a few years due to work and other life things getting in the way. But I made an effort to still invite him because he had been an important part of my life and helped me through some hard times. He never responded to the RSVP. I called him up to see if he had lost it, gave him the date, and told him I was excited to see him there and celebrate.

He didn’t show up, didn’t even send a text or call with a reason, and never even offered a single congratulations.

He instead messaged me a few weeks after with the audacity to ask if I wanted to take some photos of his dad’s car that he was trying to sell. When I confronted him and told him how disappointed I was, he gave some nonsense about how we’ll always be friends no matter what. No bro. Not cool. Actions speak louder than words.

Jarabara

27. Stuck In The Past

woman in orange blazer standingPhoto by Etty Fidele on Unsplash

My friend’s now-boyfriend and I hooked up once in 2018. I talked with him and told him I wasn't interested in that happening again. He starts dating my friend in 2020 and it's a volatile relationship. I guess my name gets brought up when they are fighting and he bragged to her about hooking up with me. Her reaction was devastating.

She blocked me off everything and I was left wondering what had happened until someone else told me. Oh well. She really could have talked with me about it and I would have been happy to set her mind at ease.

Spatter_cone

28. False Positive

My friend always talked about herself, never asked about me. She didn’t see any problem with hitting on/pursuing men in relationships but would lose her mind if a girl even looked at the guy she was with. She faked a pregnancy to get a guy to commit to her. And last but not least, chewed me out for being nice to her new boyfriend—the first decent person she had ever dated—because she thought I was interested in him.

edjennersmilkmaid

29. Sleep On It

I was really good friends with a coworker of mine. That's how I met my significant other. We went on vacation together with one other couple at one point. For context, we went on vacation and my spouse and I had to sleep in a room with twin bunk beds while the other two couples got queen/king-sized rooms.

We ended up resorting to sleeping on the pull out couch simply because there was more space. Before said vacation, me and her had spoken of this already, my spouse mainly being the unhappy one regarding the sleeping arrangements. We giggled about it mostly because I hardly cared and my spouse chilled out about it. It wasn’t an issue.

Maybe four years ago now, a few months after the vacation, I spent the 4th of July with my alleged "best friend" and everything went completely normal. We had fun, and things were great. I tried texting her a few days later and no response. Weird...I didn't work with her anymore because I had gotten a new job in the city I live in. I thought maybe she was just busy as she wasn't that great of a texter. Tried her again a day or two after that, but again, no response. Now I knew something was up. I reached out to her a half dozen more times after that and continuously asked her what was wrong or if she was even okay because maybe something terrible happened to her and I just didn't know.

She just completely ghosted me. I get a random text one evening from her—and what it said left me in shock. It was rather confrontational asking me about how my spouse and I weren't happy with our sleeping arrangements during the vacation we took together. I responded to her and said it wasn't something me and her hadn't already talked about and it wasn't that big of a deal. Never heard from her again.

My spouse and her husband are childhood best friends. Cut to me seeing her for the first time four years later this past Thanksgiving. I was dreading the situation because she's rather confrontational, but we're adults, and I'm not afraid of her. I was almost thinking we would just hash it out as I have been genuinely confused this whole time why she's so upset and can't even offer me an explanation. She said zero words to me. Didn't even look in my direction.

I guess I may never know, and I've come to terms with that. There are just some people that are petty and can't communicate I guess.

Otherwise_Peach6785

30. Some People Always Change

welcome to fabulous las vegas nevada signagePhoto by Zalman Grossbaum on Unsplash

This is dumb but sometimes…people are dumb. We went to Vegas, dinner, and a show. After dinner, my dress felt tight so I wanted to change into more comfortable clothing—from a dress and heels to a sweater/jeans and flats.

My best friend was annoyed that I “always do this” and “didn’t show up for the night” by getting dressed to the nines. She didn’t speak to me or the rest of our friends for the entire night. Weeks later, she called to tell me we’re just different people and after 17 years we can’t be friends anymore.

All because I changed my outfit. Good riddance girlfriend!

Aashface

31. Heard It Through The Grapevine

My friend spread rumors that I took some of her things. She never confronted me over the supposed theft even though we were seeing each other daily and doing our normal friendship things. I didn't even know anything was going on until another friend, from a different friend group, overheard one of the stories and came to me to ask me what was up with that. That’s when I learned the deranged truth.

It turns out she had been talking badly about me behind my back for a while so I ended up cutting ties. And that theft she had accused me of? It turns out it never happened. Her sister had recently moved out and had boxed up some things that belonged to her by accident.

ChibiKachi

32. Jealousy Hates Company

My best friend from middle school stopped talking to me after I started becoming successful around 20 years old. I excitedly told him I finally landed a good job and he asked how much I was making so I told him, thinking he'd be happy for me. Nope. He went silent for a bit, got cold, and we ended the call shortly after. I called him sometime later and his girl answered and I could hear them arguing. She was saying "Pick up the phone and talk to your friend" and stuff like that. Then click, the line went dead.

That was the last time we ever spoke. I was ghosted by my best friend of like 8-9 years because he was jealous of my success.

He had a pretty rough life in a lot of ways, really struggled in school, and as he got older had a hard time adapting to women as they got more mature. Back in the day, immature girls couldn't get enough of him, but as they grew up they were less impressed with him. They had all already dated a guy like him and his game just wasn't up to snuff anymore. By that time I was already settling into a long-term relationship with a beautiful girl. Between that and not seeing any prospects for a more successful life, I guess he felt like I was rubbing it in his face.

MrNifty

33. No-Flex Zone

white Maul type-C motorhomePhoto by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

For my friend, EVERYTHING was a flex on Facebook—how much money she'd made that day doing Instacart, her husband buying her a car, her full refrigerator, being able to stay at home and not work a 9 to 5 (she was also an occasional MLMer), her new RV, her spoiled tween son playing Xbox in the new RV, pictures of her plastic surgery, vacations, etc. Every conversation somehow, magically, turned the focus back to her, her life, her family, her possessions, and her struggles. Finally, I decided to say something.

I called her out on it. She said it was because she had anxiety and depression issues, she and her husband didn't go to college, and she was afraid of being judged.

Her constant need for attention grossed me out and I wasn't interested anymore.

Sweetbeamoney

34. A Short Fuse

I wouldn't necessarily say the guy was my best friend, but I'm pretty sure I was his best friend, if that makes sense. We met in middle school, and we had some common interests and some mutual friends. As we got older, he got a really bad Napoleon complex because he remained on the short side while the rest of us got taller.

A lot of our mutual friends distanced themselves from him, I was the last holdout because I felt bad for him and because I'm too nice. His arrogance and anger issues peaked in eighth grade. In the span of two weeks: he broke up with his girlfriend, punched two girls in the face, got dodgeball banned in our Phys Ed class, tried to choke one of our school's soccer players, and then got beat up by a girl behind the school. I had to give it to him straight when he started venting about his situation to me; he was kind of a tool. He disappeared the following week and I haven't seen him since.

Tom-cash2002

35. Bridezilla

I got pregnant; my due date was the month of her planned wedding. I said I'll try to be there but I couldn't be her maid of honor anymore. Her reply was unforgettable. She said: "I wish you would have waited".

This was after my first pregnancy ended as a miscarriage. Well, she ended up postponing her wedding anyway…

Sensitive-Dig-1333

36. Keeping Up With The Jones

silver foil on white ceramic platePhoto by Tom Radetzki on Unsplash

I had to cut ties with my friend when she became an early Alex Jones convert. The sweet, wonderful person I knew turned into a paranoid nutjob.

Grouchy_Writer_Dude

37. What A Gas

My former best friend needed a place to live during the summer and I let her move into my tiny room in my apartment. I told her beforehand that I needed her help to pay rent and she said that she could. So fast forward, she moves a ton of stuff in my room that is already full of my things, doesn't give me a single cent, and doesn't even show any gratitude. She constantly told me she had no money to pay rent while she would talk about how she went out every night spending $80+ on drinks.

Anyway, we were supposed to move into another apartment together. She bails at the last minute and I have to find another one fast; being in college, everyone leases way ahead of time so it was really hard to find a place. I was mad but I shook it off. Big mistake.

The next day, I needed a ride to the bus stop because I was taking the Greyhound home. This bus stop was literally 5-10 minutes from my apartment. She has the nerve to say "I only put enough gas in my car to get to work and back"...seriously?

I packed her things up and kicked her out. Haven't talked to her since.

lineocar

38. Why So Shellfish?

I had to dump one of my oldest friends. Finally, the penny dropped, and I realized that he was some kind of sociopath, constantly taking advantage of me, talking down to me at any opportunity, causing problems for me for No reason, except that he could. That was a very difficult (and painful) thing to realize—and I think he never did realize that he did it, even when I told him about some of the crazy things he'd done to me.

One time, he ate all the food I'd cooked for us both to eat that evening, apologized, and then did exactly the same thing the following evening.

He was also constantly borrowing small sums of money from me, not bothering to pay it back or keeping track of how much he'd borrowed—saying that was my responsibility.

He would also claim he "could throw me out on the street" whenever he wanted to, from the apartment I paid 50% of the rent for, to sleep on the sofa. This was when I finally gave up on him.

He riled up a common friend because his ex had flirted with me; he was trying to split that friendship up.

Once, he called everyone who I'd invited to a dinner party, saying the party had changed location to another city.

Weirdest of all? He brought me a gift of a big frozen crab. I've never eaten shellfish, during all the years I've known him. He put it in my freezer box and didn't close the door properly, so I had a big pile of water in the kitchen the next day and had to throw away everything in the freezer.

He also bricked my bank card PIN by entering the wrong code three times, saying he "thought it was his because they were similar". The card was at my apartment.

Toblotron

39. I Thought You Knew

woman whispering on woman's ear while hands on lipsPhoto by Ben White on Unsplash

My "best" friend from high school spread rumors about me because he wanted my then-girlfriend. When I went off to college I kinda left him behind, not really thinking much about it—but it wasn’t over yet.

Fast forward four years later, he storms into my apartment in a rage that I slept with his wife. Which is true, but I slept with her a year before they even met. After that incident, I knew our friendship was over. He pretty much just viewed our "friendship" as a competition of who can get the most women.

Permalink

40. Don’t Be Late

My friend took advantage of me and would sabotage me constantly. She would embarrass me or be rude to my other friends. I would put up with it because I felt bad for her. She had bad relationships with family, no boyfriend, etc. The straw that broke the camel's back was the time she chewed me out on the phone for being 10 minutes late and said—I kid you not—"You being late is the same level of disrespect as giving someone AIDS"!

Yup. AIDS. The lateness wasn't even my fault, it was a designated driver I had arranged to take us to a bar. I wanted to cheer her up.

Booktroll

41. Stop The Car

I met a really cool chick at university who was doing the same course as me. We hung out most weeks and did all kinds of cool stuff. We became good friends really quickly.

I lived with my two best friends, a gay couple, and decided to introduce them all to each other so we all went out one evening and had an amazing time. I ended up staying at her place that night.

The next morning she was driving me home and she decided to tell me that she didn't like my friends because they were gay and she was brought up as a Christian. In the same paragraph, she went on to tell me that she didn't like Asians, poor people, or people that went to public school. I got out of that car and I have never seen her or spoken to her again.

triforcegirl

42. Wore Out Their Welcome

low angle photo of buildingsPhoto by Agustin Lara on Unsplash

My significant other and I bought a condo and invited our mutual friend to move in with us. He got a girlfriend right about the time when we bought the house. Now, we were good friends with this guy and hung out quite a bit.

So he starts dating this girl as we begin to tear apart and redo the entire townhouse. Peeling off wallpaper and sanding down every crack and cranny. My boyfriend and I are working our behinds off on this huge investment. We keep asking him to come and help us, since, you know, he'll be living here too. He shows up exactly twice in two months of non-stop work, and one of those times, he left an hour later "just to drop off some keys to her" and obviously never came back. They had been fighting the whole time he was with us and he was summoned elsewhere I guess. So that's pre-moving-in.

He moves in and the girlfriend is immediately there every night and most days. She has no job and no car, so he goes to work and she just sits around at our house. She just hangs out at our place all day, with her one-year-old. She eats our food. She uses our electronics. She never leaves. She contributes nothing and asks us to buy her milk for her baby.

Our roommate can contribute nothing for food or anything other than rent, because of his new little family that he is responsible for. Our friend defends this, saying her kid is his son now. They'd been dating for five months and the child was not his, but he referred to him as his son.

There's way more, but those are the basics. She once told me, as she was eating a meal that my boyfriend and I cooked with the food that we bought and kindly included them in, that she "forgets that food costs money". This is the person that basically lives rent-free in my home.

She sat around all day and her kid ran around unsupervised. One very memorable time he picked up a knife that we were using to do a project. She didn't notice. God, I could go on for ages.

He, who was once an adamant atheist, is now wearing things that say, for example, "JESUS 4 LIFE"! That was hysterical. She was very religious.

Anyway, they went on vacation and were mad that we didn't pick them up at the airport last minute. The second they returned to the house, we argued—and what an argument it was—and then we sat them down and told them to get out. He is no longer friends with us. It felt awesome.

Snow-White

43. Talk About Paranoid

For background there is me and my boyfriend Dan, and then my friend Tiff and her boyfriend Todd. Two couples, all friends.

When we first all started to go out I was really good friends with her, but as time went on I saw more and more that she was selfish and egotistical, she once complained that her parents bought her 24k gold diamond earrings for Christmas when she just wanted the money, and so on. There is a long list of faults with her.

We roll around to a friend’s 21st birthday about a year ago. Her boyfriend cannot go anywhere without her except for work. No lads night out, he can't even look at other women and you can tell it grates him if I mention that Danny was going away for the weekend without me, or we'll be rating the lovely beer providers of our local pubs. But that’s not the most ridiculous part.

At this party, Tiff drinks and gets paranoid that a girl, who is a friend of ours, at another table is talking about her and decides to demand that none of us talk to her anymore. At this point I've had enough of her nonsense, tell her “She's free to make HER boyfriend do whatever she likes and he can be dumb enough to follow it but she does not have the right to try and control MY partner, so she better shut up, sit down and stay away from me for good”, and walked away.

I haven't said more than five words to her since, and only see her when Danny and Todd want to go to the pub.

Violentgoth

44. Request Denied

A couple of people in high school stopped speaking to me for going to the prom with a lesbian friend. They have tried to add me on Facebook since, which is hilarious since I haven't spoken to them since 1996.

Chefbexter

45. Friendship Is Magic

woman standing near body of waterPhoto by Lau keith on Unsplash

My friend was just like a brother to me; I'd never had that kind of relationship with someone before, especially since my direct family is quite dysfunctional. Ergo, I value my friends (the ones I have left) highly. This kid is about a year older than me, him being 17 now. We met at a meetup in our city and sort of hit things off from there.

After a long time of talking and relating, we decided that we were the best of friends and hung out as much as we possibly could. Due to distance, this was limited to each weekend. Our platonic relationship sort of pushed me to develop feelings for him—we were already acting like we were dating anyway, although it was just holding hands. He asked me one day if I liked him and I said yes, but I don't want a relationship because I'd just come out of an ugly one.

Here's the weird part. He goes off his nut and starts going on about how he'd be cheating on his girlfriend in Japan…whom he doesn't have on Facebook, whom he talks to once a month at best, whom he had only brought up once and didn't even reference her as his significant other at the time. He said that if he continued to see me, now knowing my feelings, it would be wrong. He claimed that he was an honorable man and had morals, and would dislike it if his "girlfriend" was hanging out with a guy who had feelings for her…not even my farthest rationalization could convince him to see reason.

He deleted me, ceased all contact with me; lived each day after as if nothing had happened. It was, to say the least, one of the most painful things I've had happen to me. I still love him as a brother/close friend and I still miss him. This was in May.

KittehCore

46. Nice Knowing You

My best friend got a girlfriend, so he had less time for me. After a few years, I got home and saw them moving stuff out. We lived in the same apartment, but a different floor. They never said anything to me at all, no hint. They just left, not even a card or an invitation. That was the end of the friendship.

MiJo198

47. Benign Tumor, Malignant Friend

I had a friend for maybe three years, she had originally been the girlfriend of one of my guy friends. I listened to all her tears and agony when they split up, all her depressing stories, and so on.

One day I went into the hospital for a biopsy, I was terrified I had cancer. I came home and looked at my phone—and what I saw made my blood run cold. It was full of texts from her about having a bad day, and a huge email about how she wanted her ex back. She didn't ask how I was, or how the tests went, all she wanted was someone to listen to her. That day I put her number on the block list, and blocked everything of hers online.

Ifeelsosoft

48. Best Friend, Worst Roommate

woman standing near gray concrete building during daytimePhoto by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash

I moved in with my “best” friend, her horrid boyfriend, and her antisocial sister. The friend and I had been incredibly close throughout all school, but over six months that deteriorated. The boyfriend wouldn't let her go out unless he could come too. He was pedantic and argumentative for the sake of “winning” a fight.

The sister wouldn't let me invite people over (my boyfriend included) unless she knew about it a day or so in advance. She claimed she had a severe phobia of “outside” people. But the final straw was when their mother came to visit. She stayed with us for two weeks without anyone informing me in advance, who I knew yes, but had decided to tell me what to do (no drinking, etc) as if I were her child as well. At one point I remember the mother told me it was a bit too late and loud to have friends over.

The friendship fell apart, she would side with her sister and boyfriend. We became bitter, there was note writing on their part, and she put dirty dishes on my bed, etc, to the point I would avoid going home. They decided to move out without telling me. I had overheard them discussing movers. In the end, the girl and I sat down and decided it would be for the best. But my nightmare wasn’t over yet.

The evening that she moved out there was a complication with money, my friend couldn't pay the movers. I decided out of respect for what we had, I'd loan the money and take it out of her share of the lease, along with the remainder of the bills, etc. In total, it was $600. She had government aid in paying the lease (which she knew about but hadn't informed me) and her share went back to the Department of Housing.

I was unable to properly contact her again. I had been spat on constantly for six months and then when she was crying and begging I thought I was doing a good thing, only to have been ripped off by my “best friend” I had known since I was 10 years old.

Permalink

49. Snitches Get Stitches

I was 17 and my older girlfriend was staying with me while I had the house to myself. This friend was jealous and decided to tell my parents what we were doing. The aftermath was brutal. It resulted in a huge fight with my dad involving broken glass, screaming, lies and threats. I had to talk to the authorities and got threatened by them as well.

My friend tried to claim she had nothing to do with it…but I knew it was her. I cut off all contact and haven't spoken to her in 10 years.

RikersBeard1

Scorned Lovers Reveal Their Worst Cheating Stories
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do to a loved one. Betraying the trust of someone we are supposed to be committed to on such a fundamental level is truly despicable and heartbreaking, and the users of Reddit blew off some steam by telling the tales of their very worst, no good cheating exes.


We Feel for You

white and blue yacht on sea under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Alina Kacharho on Unsplash

This is so recent (a week ago). I went to the spot I first took her to on the ship we worked on to surprise her, and she was on top of another dude. They looked me in the face and laughed when they saw me.

Congrats, Buddy!

Found out via Facebook a few months after I had broken up with him that he cheated on me. I was still friends with his siblings and parents, and they were tagged in some photos of him. Holding his clearly to-term newborn son. Less than nine months after I broke up with him.

Something Not to Be Thankful For

I'm not on great terms with my family, so I suggested making a roast chicken for the two of us for Thanksgiving. She opted to go to her roommate's family's place—the roommate who I learned she was sleeping with shortly afterward.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

man in red and black striped polo shirt holding gold iphone 6Photo by jaikishan patel on Unsplash

I was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it's my girlfriend's full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom's house.

Did He Get an A+?

I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight, I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "Who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left.

She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.

A Sudden Change of Heart

I knew he was cheating when he suddenly became concerned about his looks but didn’t want me to look good. He went on a diet, started wearing contacts, and started shaving his pubic hair, which he wouldn’t do for me. Also became distant, had a lack of interest in sex, spent a lot of time on his phone, had weird mood swings that didn’t relate to our relationship fights/make ups, along with lots of other signs.

The Question You Don’t Want Answered

man between two women taking selfiePhoto by Elevate on Unsplash

I was "roommate with benefits" before and somehow I was the other woman. I don't know how he thought he was going to be able to keep the two of us a secret from each other. It's been about five years and when I think about it the emotion that comes back isn't sadness or anger from the betrayal, but amazement that he thought he was going to get away with it.

The Question You Don’t Want Answered

Back when Myspace survey quizzes were popular, I was reading one that she posted. A question on the quiz read "Who was the last person you kissed/had sex with?" The answer was not my name...

Racking up the Minutes

Phone bill was three times bigger than it should have been. Over 400 minutes to one number. The kicker was that she also had a company cell phone with unlimited calls that I obviously never would have known about, and the guy was someone she worked with. She literally wanted to get caught because she was too weak to tell me to my face.

Fly Me to the Moon

a woman looking out the window of an airplanePhoto by Chris Curry on Unsplash

Just got on a flight in London headed to Vegas. Sitting next to my GF, and she wants to show me something she has planned for the trip, so gets out her phone. It opens to the Messages and shows a chat with a guy (I know him) saying how much she is going to miss him and how she doesn't want to go away with me anyway. The doors close on the plane and that was a really fun 10-11hrs...

A Little Subtlety Can Go a Long Way

Right before my ex got caught cheating, I saw his phone laying on the couch like it fell out of his pocket. I picked it up just as he realized he'd dropped it. I swear, he leapt across the room to take it from my hand before I could even say a word. I had already begun suspecting, but that was pretty definitive that I was right.

Setting an Example for the Baby

When I got home from work, she would be going to work and I would be hanging out with our baby. Around the time he was one and a half, she started going to the bar with co-workers. I was fine with it because it wasn't often, maybe one night a week, and she came back home by 12. It quickly got up to coming home between 2:30 am and 4 am, plastered, four to six times a week.

She started mentioning this one co-worker a lot and how cool he was. My paranoia got the better of me and I checked her phone one alcohol-induced coma night and she had been trying to get said co-worker to meet with her at an abandoned gas station a few miles up the road while she was on her way out.

I approached her and asked what she planned to do when he showed up, "just hang out and shoot the s***!" to which I replied, "While you’re drunk, at 2 am, behind an abandoned gas station..." She never admitted to it, but that, a lot of not-even-subtle clues and people I knew seeing her out at the bar gave me all I needed to know.

The Roommate Disagreement

woman in brown shirt covering her facePhoto by Fa Barboza on Unsplash

She was having an argument with a housemate and they shouted at her—with me in the room—“At least I'm not cheating on my fiancé!” She moved out less than a week later.

Happy...Birthday?

I went to her 18th birthday party. I wandered around mingling with all her friends, and then I realized I hadn't seen her anywhere in like 45 minutes. I thought nothing of it at first, but then I went downstairs to use the basement bathroom. It was locked. I knocked and I heard a very breathy female voice say, "Occupied! Go Away!" Since I really had to go, I decided to wait.

GF came stumbling out of the bathroom with some guy about ten minutes later, looking all flustered and stinking. Apparently, the guy bought himself a bathroom quickie with a few hits of a toke. She made some excuse about how they were "just talking" and he was an old friend. I shrugged, actually wanting to believe her.

But when I went in to finally go to the bathroom, the stupid girl had forgotten her panties on the bathroom floor. I handed them to her in front of all her friends upstairs and walked out. "Here. You forgot these in the bathroom downstairs." It was one of those classic zinger moments when you really burned someone, but at the time, I just felt sick and brokenhearted.

Those Dog-Walkers Will Get You Every Time

Not so subtle, but my ex was being guarded with his phone, and every time I caught a glimpse of the screen while he was using it, it was the same girl. Asked who she is and it's his friend from "dog-walking club" Yeah right—they actually met on Tinder. He also went through my phone, and not very subtly either, because he accidentally sent random thumbs up to a lot of people on Facebook chat.

Then there was the random message from the above-mentioned girl, who had gone to the effort of looking me up and telling me to"back off her boyfriend." Hahahahahaha. There were a lot of things she didn't know either, apparently.

Thanks for the Reminder

man and woman lying on grassPhoto by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

I technically didn't catch him cheating, because he came clean about it when he broke up with me. I did, however, find out who he cheated with. He told me it was with his friend Natalie, who I had never heard of before, except for the time maybe days earlier when he told me about his "half black" friend Natalie. Ok, at the time I wasn't sure why he shared this detail.

This was ten years ago when we were all fresh out of high school, so I don't remember exactly how the conversation went. Days go by and a coworker asks me if we're still together, because she saw him kissing a girl, and she shares her description as "darker skinned." I tell her we broke up, and that's probably the girl he cheated on me with, it's ok.

Days go by and my good friend Nora's older brother invites me to hang out, totally out of the blue. I take him up on it and we go to a park near his parents' house. Lo, we spot Nora's car. We're walking through the park and there's Nora's parents' dog running around off leash. And there, on a gentle slope, is Nora and my recent ex making out on the grass.

Nora and her brother are Egyptian and could easily be described as "half black" or "darker skinned." My ex had made Natalie up.

Status: It’s Not That Complicated

Literally five hours after we broke up, he updated his Facebook relationship status to "engaged" to a girl who I thought he was just friends with. She uploaded a photo showing off the ring with the caption "he finally asked, and I said yes!"

Second in Command

Phone dinged, I checked it, (same phones no case both charging next to each other.) The text said, "I miss you too" and was from a girl he was dating when we were separated. Fast forward a few months to when he deploys. Check his email because at this point I know something is up. Find emails, so I contact the mistress.

She was very transparent with me and told me that basically, they were dating before he even met me, which means he courted me, asked me to marry him, married me then we had a child together all while he was still seeing her. We separate for a year, he dates her exclusively, we get back together, and he maintains a relationship with her. All of this without me knowing.

I found this all out while I was a month away from birthing his second child and he's getting shot at in Afghanistan. We decide to work through it, but I never could get over the fact that he cheated on me for four years and had no problem hiding it from me, and only came clean because I found out, as in, he had no intention of coming clean.

When he returned home he confessed to many other times with other people (thank GOD I never got an STD). After three subsequent years of him refusing to go to counseling so that we can ACTUALLY deal with it, he tells me he wants a divorce (a month before we are supposed to get a permanent change of station to Alaska). Moved back home with the kids, filed for divorce and life is amazingly better now. Screw that guy!

Raise the Roof

women standing side-by-side on street during daytimePhoto by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

My cousin showed me a picture of her hooking up with the male stripper at her bachelorette party.

For My Ears Only

I caught my dad cheating on my stepmom because he said he wanted to listen to Adele on my headphones. The second he said that, I knew something was up. He would never take me and my sister out for any reason other than personal pleasure and why ask for my headphones. I come to find out after a little bit of snooping on his phone that he was sending Facebook audio messages to girls, so his wife couldn't read the messages. That really changed how I saw my dad.

Not That Kind of Emergency

She told me her little cousin (who is mentally handicapped) swallowed something (a battery I think) and was in the hospital in NC and was flying down there. Later, she went and took a nap. I was on the computer, clicked on the favorite place link to Gmail and saw a flight confirmation email to NY. I realized it was her account and not mine.

I sat at the edge of the bed calm as could be and as soon as she woke up I asked her what she was doing in NY. She tried to say she didn't know what I was talking about, but I told her I saw the email. She then said she was going to visit some friends, and I was like oh, is that why you made up this big lie about your cousin?

Dial 1 for Heartbreak

grayscale photo of man holding telephonePhoto by Angelika Agibalova on Unsplash

He was in the basement of the house we had JUST BOUGHT TOGETHER having phone sex with her, not realizing that the sound would travel through the vents. It sucked at the time but in hindsight, he did me a huge favor.

Wake up Call

My girlfriend started working with and talking about this girl and inviting the girl and her GF to go to dinner with us. We went on a double date with this couple a few times over the course of three weeks and I noticed every time we were all four out, my girlfriend would drink much more heavily than usual. It was weird.

We were having them over for dinner one Sunday, but had an adult sports game before (which usually involved light drinking) and she was acting super weird about making sure we were home on time and had dinner ready, etc. That night, after they left, she passed out on the couch next to me. Her Apple watch buzzed, and I glanced over and saw a selfie of this girl.

This was enough to get me to look at her phone (for the first time ever) where I find texts with sexting and details about their hookup. I took screenshots of all of it and sent it to my phone.I got dressed, texted a friend, packed a backpack, and woke her up by throwing her phone (with those messages open) at her and walking out the door.

She groggily sorted it all out and attempted to contact me all night and eventually texted the other girl's GF those screenshots, which I thought was pretty cruddy. Sort of an "if I'm going down, you're going down with me."

Fashion Statements

My first GF, that I had lost my virginity to, banged some dude from high school that allowed her to wear his letterman jacket home since it was cold. He came to her house to get it back and said it just felt right. All while I was at work. The worst part was she told me on AIM when I got home!

Sleepover

woman in blue denim jeans lying on bedPhoto by Adam Winger on Unsplash

He has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs.

So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to have sex with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn't "fun anymore" and he left.

While You Were Working

My ex worked a night shift and I worked day shift, so I'd wait for her to come home (so kids wouldn't be sleeping alone) and one night she just didn't show up...Pulled up Find my iPhone to find out she's at her ex’s house. She came home a little later after texting/calling her constantly with some extra news: he got her pregnant...What a wonderful day.

Good Luck Getting a Ride

I had let her borrow my car while I took the bus to work, my friend called me at work to say that my girl was making out with some guy in my car. So I got a taxi over there and yup, there she was. I knocked on the window guy jumped out. I was going to start beating his ass, but I told him to just leave, this might not be your fault.

She started making excuses, I just asked her to step out of the car. Got my keys and drove away a mess, she screwed me up for a long time. She made me lose trust in women and messed up my concept of relationships for a long time.

Say Cheese!

man in black shirt holding black smartphonePhoto by Shane on Unsplash

When I was at college we had this campus Twitter account that people would post pictures of random people caught making out at parties to. I blacked out one Saturday night and woke up to a few angry texts…

Band Camp Blues

When I was 14/15 years old and at band camp, my best friend (let's call her Emma) and I were dating two boys who were best friends. Typical, right? So, one day Emma and I get out of rehearsal and we go to meet up with our boyfriends, who are nowhere to be found. So we look harder, we're wandering around campus, and we hear low voices behind a ledge.

Lo and behold, our precious boyfriends were there...MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. Emma immediately started crying, which caused the boys to pull apart with a suctiony schluuurp. I suppose I wasn't as in love with Boyfriend as I thought, because my reaction was to laugh hysterically. I had never seen two boys make out before. It wasn't bad.

Double Standards

She told me in gratuitous detail the name, body type and acts she performed with like ten different dudes—ranging from making out to intercourse with "only" two dudes. She thought I would forgive her and it’d bring us closer and like it’d be good, so we could talk about those experiences together. After this, she moved for an "open" relationship—which made it all okay because she'd get to retroactively apply our "open" status.

I was young, in love, and heartbroken so I said yes because I was desperate to hang on to her. Then she broke up with me when I hooked up with someone else after like four months of "open" status and her having like a primary friend-with-benefits because I "liked her too much."

Gridlock

grayscale photo of woman standing between two menPhoto by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

Was dating a girl in college and didn't think she was cheating. Another guy she was dating thought she was. He found my info in her phone and texts me about it. He wants to confront her. We both meet up at her place while she isn't home. He's a nice guy and we honestly got along pretty well for the half hour we talked before she arrived.

She saw us both as she drove up and the look on her face was shock. By the time she got out of her car she was crying but didn't say a word to us. We went in her apartment and her roommate acted as the mediator but it didn't really get anywhere. Me and the other guy were pissed and wanted answers. We weren't getting any so we both gave her some choice words and rolled out.

It’s Either Me or Pop Tarts

A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts so he could lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face that he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are pretty darn high in calories.

Neal, Neal, Neal

My GF was getting ready for work one day and I noticed she was wearing makeup which she hadn't done in a very long time. I sarcastically asked her, "Is Neal working tonight with you?" to which she said, “no, I just wanted to look nice today.” I dropped her off at work and who was there? Neal, that dirty rat. Like in other stories, sometimes it's the abrupt change in a subtle thing about a person that sets off the warning bells.

Well This One Is a Little Weird...

white and blue dream catcherPhoto by Dyaa Eldin on Unsplash

I've never been able to explain it, but I saw my ex cheating on me in a dream. I saw everything. I told her about it and she freaked out. (To be fair, I described the dude's bedspread, fish-tank, and his room. I have never been there).

Wouldn’t Wait

I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't going to sleep with him and told him as much, so he was having sex with a girl who I knew from church youth group in his car before he would come hang out with me. She wanted him all to herself, so she showed me the messages—I was dumb and didn't believe her because this wasn't the first time she had stirred up drama like this.

Sure enough, his car was outside the church in the back corner of the parking lot and he was waiting for her. Although, TBH, I was mostly just dating him because I hadn't been kissed yet and was tired of waiting for someone I could see myself falling in love with. I was angrier over the humiliation of being cheated on more than because I loved him.

Star-Crossed Lovers

My ex was very into astrology. She cheated on me, and blamed it on the timing of the great American eclipse of August 2017.

Delete From Contacts

man standing on top of rock mountain during golden hourPhoto by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Ex-girlfriend. Woke up one morning and it was plastered all over her Snapchat story of her making out with her ex at some Christmas party. This was the day after a very intense romantic evening with her...Was a tough day to get through for sure. She decided to completely drop contact with me after with no answers as to what happened, but thank goodness I'm out of that train wreck now though...One month on and I'm doing much better.

You Haven’t Evolved Enough to Come up With a Better Excuse Than That?

When my husband and his mistress got caught, they tried to invoke an evolution argument and convince me that "humans aren't meant to be monogamous." I'm like, "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place? You could have joined a free love hippie commune at any time if you wanted to. But that's not what you did."

Misplaced Pep Talk

I remember I was brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror, and I thought to myself, "I finally feel like I can trust her! I don't think she has been unfaithful at all to me. That's a good feeling!" I went back to the computer where we had a Skype session going, and I told her my mirror thoughts. I was so proud of myself because I can have trust issues.

She immediately went silent and started biting her lip. I was like "ooooofff course.." She ended up telling me that things got rekindled with her ex, and they started hooking up again. It was just the worst because we were in a long distance stint of our relationship. We broke up, and she got back together with him, and then wanted me back, and then wanted him back. I'm not even sure where it all stands now, but we don't communicate.

Betrayed by Your Own Family

men's gray suit jacketPhoto by Scott Webb on Unsplash

My dad told me. 5 years later. On the morning of my wedding to another woman. After I dumped the cheater for unrelated reasons. And my entire family pushed for me to get back together with her. AND THEY KNEW SHE WAS CHEATING.

Life is Too Short to Waste on Guys Like Sam

My best friend was in the hospital having emergency surgery, during which she almost died. Her family told her boyfriend, Sam, about her situation. He never responded or showed up to see or ask how she was doing. He then proceeded to cheat on her with some girl from high school, claiming, “She didn’t answer my texts for two whole days!!” Yeah, because she was nearly dead, you jerk!

Tripped up

I was gone for a week for work. Got back to my building after a flight home and had no ride. She forgot to come pick me up. I finally got a hold of her, came to pick me up half drunk, went back to our house, I was unpacking and turned around and she had her hair and makeup done and just said "I'm going out, see ya" and left. This was after I had been gone for a week.

The next day was Friday, she had got home after I went to bed and left for work before me. I got home, and she was already gone, and had texted me and said she was going to her friend's house to hang out for a house party for the weekend. I didn't hear from her again for two days despite calling and texting her. She got home late Sunday night and told me she "lost her phone in the couch.”

I told her this wasn't working, and she needed to leave. She packed a bag while I cracked a beer on the couch. A couple days later, my friend emailed me a boatload of pictures from the weekend she disappeared, all of her and the guy she was cheating on me with. He had posted them on his Myspace that Sunday evening. She actually continued to mess up things for me for quite a while after this, financially mostly, but eventually, I got free of that disaster and moved on happily.

Good Thing She Didn’t Call Your Bluff

man in gray crew neck long sleeve shirt standing beside woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

She kept deleting all her texts... I got suspicious and told her I had a cool program on my PC that picks up all texts wirelessly. Confronted her saying I had seen them on my PC, she admitted it without me seeing a thing.

Get Thee to a Dentist

One morning, I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet. I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she had used the blue toothbrush, and she said “yeah” all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers, and she played it off like she didn’t know. I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks, and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work, as did she, but she didn’t come home that night. The next morning, I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy who "didn’t think she was gross."

Silence Does Not Equal Consent

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me when I fell asleep. She said since I wasn't responding when she asked if I would be okay with it, she assumed I was. Wack!

While You Were Healing

man covering face with both hands while sitting on benchPhoto by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

Oh man I have a winner. I had surgery on my testicles due to a possible tumor (it wound up being benign), so I'm recovering that evening in bed. My girlfriend (long-distance) visited me to take care of me. All is going great, except for my crotch hurting and my wearing of a diaper—but hey, I had just come back from Afghanistan, so life was still pretty sweet.

My girlfriend offers to make me some food. Sweet. So she asks me to look up a recipe on my phone. I can't find my phone—so she tosses me hers. Well, let me tell you, in the midst of me looking up a great Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe, a message from my friend Ryan flashes across the top of the screen. I can't make it out, but it looks an awful lot like sex.

I'm like, "Oh Ryan, what are you giving a hard time to my girlfriend about," So I click the message, if only to relay what I presumed was a joke to her. Well, let me tell you, the joke was on me. Those two had been going to Bonetown, USA, while I was deployed. They talked about me being gone as a sexcation. My girlfriend asks if I found anything good.

I'm like "Oh heck yeah." Now, I show her the texts. She denies anything happened. Which is, well dumb—so me being a man of dignity, kick her out of the apartment and send her on her way to Georgia. Wearing adult diapers, I kicked her out of my place. Honestly, I just wish I had found out after I had eaten some Cordon Bleu.

Love Is Not a Game

I'd finished doing the dailies on my WoW character, and I knew he wasn't going to be home for a while so like many times before (with his permission) I logged into his account to do dailies for him. Then the PM's started. Very explicit PM's. Not only was he cheating on me in a game (with loads of people, cybersex in WoW, eugh). But it got worse.

There was one girl who was talking about things outside the game too. I admit I played along for a while to see what was going on.After that, I told her who I was. It all ended rather badly, between her and I, him and I, and him and her.

Be Careful Who You Message

I was dating this dead beat guy for about 2 years. I lived on my parents' property and so did he, for free. One day while I was at work, I go on break and I get a FB message from a guy I barely know. It said "I don't know how you feel about this, but it bothers me." I click it and see a picture. At first I was thinking it was spam and almost deleted it before enlarging it (seemed like one of those click bait titles that hijacks your account).

Something made me decide to click it anyway. When I click it, I see a screenshot of a FB convo between my bf and his gf. He was hitting on her, telling her how much of POS her bf was and how he would treat her so much better than that. He told her not to tell anyone about the convo. Well, sucks for him because the girl immediately showed her bf, who showed me.

Ha! Judging by the time stamps, this conversation took place the previous night at MY house on MY laptop (it was the only way he could have this conversation). Needless to say, I left work early, went home, kicked him out of my place, and made him homeless. Oh well.

Less Than Immaculate Conception

pregnant woman wearing red long-sleeved dressPhoto by freestocks on Unsplash

I know this is cliche and I've definitely complained about it before, but coming home from a 12-month deployment to a black baby when we're both white were strike one and two. Strike three was her telling me she had black relatives (whom I've never met) so that could be what happened, sure. Doesn't matter what excuse you have, though, there isn't a magical 12 month gestation period. Makes me very angry.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

I was married for six years and caught my husband cheating. His response was to just shrug and say, "I got nothing." That was it.

Man swimming with sharks
Mike L/Unsplash

The Final Destination movies are not good for those who have any phobias, as the franchise taps into all your fears.

In spite of the films making audiences paranoid about cheating death, it does make you think about our mortality and of the many times we may have had brushes with death.

No matter how hard the characters tried to avoid it, they could never change their fate because any attempt to do so would only result in death striking back with an unforgiving vengeance.

However, there are exceptions.

Strangers online reflected on their evasiveness when Redditor yuckyduckph asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Beauty grows in nature.

But don't be fooled, for risks abound.

Potent Bloom

"Got lost in the Bolivian rainforest for three days after consuming tea made from angel trumpets."

– Leftsuitcase

"I have Angel's Trumpets (Datura) in my back yard, and everywhere in my neighborhood / around town. I don't know how many people realize how toxic they are. In some areas in S America, people refuse to even stand near them. They're quite beautiful in full bloom, tho. NS if all the species (inc hybrids) are dangerous. Cue: botanist."

"I've never understood you people who go drink random plant potions in the jungle, far from hospitals, with 'shamans' 'n' sh*t. Half of my friends have done that. But another friend of mine recently died that way. He was super smart and cautious, too. Had a family. Always be skeptical, wary, and weigh out risks.""

– manlypanda

Warning Ignored

"I was leaving a restaurant with my boyfriend one night and saw a couple in the parking lot messing around."

"She was dancing seductively with a big bunch of Oleander flowers gripped in her teeth."

"For those that don’t know, Oleanders are very popular for hedges, hard to kill, but are extremely toxic. You’re not supposed to trim them without gloves."

"I stopped in a panic screaming at her to spit it out while telling her boyfriend they were toxic and she should go to the ER immediately."

"They thought I was kidding and told me to basically f'k off. My boyfriend dragged me away and said we should get out of there because we didn’t want to see how it ended..."

– flavius_lacivious

Rare Respiratory Attack

"Caught an incredibly rare fungus that attacked my lungs and would have attacked my other internal organs. Took two years to diagnose because it’s so rare. Only patient my respirologist has ever seen with it. Dropped to almost 80 pounds. I could literally feel myself slowly dying."

"Infectious aspergillosis. Extremely rare. Almost everyone has some aspergillis in their system because it’s everywhere."

– KathAlMyPal

The ocean holds many secrets.

Dangerous Stunt

"In the fall of '91 I was in Hawaii and dove into this blow hole in Hanauma Bay. (That's not me in the video, but it's the blow hole.)"

"My buddies were doing it and it was no problem for them."

"The problem for me was that I was a lot bigger than them, so my lats got stuck as I was face down in the hole."

"The concept is you time the waves and dive in just as the water recedes and the flow pulls you through."

"Well, I got stuck and had to wiggle my way down, ripping up the skin on my lats and ribs."

"So I finally get down and I have to swim like a mofo, but it's too late...the next flow is coming in."

"I'm at the edge, almost there, so I have to grab onto the edge with both hands like a kidnapping victim holds the doorframe so as not to be abducted."

"The wave cycle is not very long, but when you're doing something new and panicking, it feels like an eternity."

"I've heard they have closed off this portion of the bay."

"I know I don't need to do that again!"

– saleswhisperer

Massive Rip Tide

"I swam under the diving rock at Waimea Bay and almost didn't make it to other side (smoker). Same day they dug out the lagoon channel to make the endless wave. My 'friend' took me out to learn bodysurfing the shorebreak and it was about 8 foot sets which were HUGE and heavy. We go to swim out and get absolutely pummeled and pulled out. Then trying to get back in we got sucked into that lagoon river outflow and it was basically a massive rip tide. In about five minutes we were 400 yards out in the bay with out a boogie/surf board. We had to swim east towards sunset Bay to get to shore. I still can't believe we made it."

– Brutusmatic

Place To Avoid

"Exploring tidal cliffs, accidentally slipped into the water. Went in sideways, narrowly missed hitting my head. Just barely clawed my way out of the rough tidal zone; it was way over my head & was so choppy I was being slammed against rock. Please be careful around tidal cliff zones!"

– beachblanketparty

Grateful For Jellyfish

"When I was about 14 I slipped on a tidal cliff hit my head and went into the water, luckily I didn’t go unconscious but I was caught in the under current and couldn’t see which way was up because it was so f'king cold and dark (Oregon coast, pacific ocean), and just as I was about to give up I saw all these tiny jellyfish above me and swam towards them, got me to the surface and I was able to make it back to shore because I was a pretty strong swimmer at the time."

"Thank you Jellyfish"

"Several years later two people I know were hit by a sneaker wave very close to the same spot and they both died being crushed up against those rocks."

– CurseofLono88

Things don't get any better on terra firma.

Nearly Skewered

"T-boned by a cement truck. Guy at the tow yard couldn’t believe I was still alive."

– psharp203

"I can't believe you are still alive either, I've watched two of those cave a road and heard horror stories about them tipping. You good? Got all ya bits n pieces?"

– FlyerOfTheSkys

The Major Rescue Operation

"Went on a high elevation alpine hike on Mt. Rainier with an out of town friend. At around 10,000 feet we decided it was time to head back down the mountain. About five minutes into the descent I was in an uncontrolled glissade across a snow field."

"Even though I knew better, after I was unable to slow myself I put my feet down. That's when my crampons bit into the snow and stopped me, sending all of the force into my legs. I heard an unsettling pop and felt excruciating pain. As soon as I stopped I looked down and saw that the heel of my left boot was where the toe should have been."

"I had severely broken my leg and I was at least a 3 hour hike down with sunlight (and warmth) declining. We were not equipped to be there after dark. Within a couple of minutes I could feel my extremities beginning to tingle. Was going into shock. Fortunately, I had some glucose gel packs which I began to suck on. And that seemed to keep the shock at bay."

"Which was a good thing because the radiating pain was quite enough. Our cell phones weren't working well but another stroke of luck was that I had put a GMRS radio in the bottom of my pack and as such we were able to get word out on the radio that we were in trouble and needed help."

"Ham radio operators heard us and relayed our position and the details to the rangers. The National Park Service couldn't get a helicopter that was willing to fly to that elevation so late in the day (on a Sunday in early October). So they had to gather a party of climbing rangers to come get me."

"A couple of other climbers on the way up the mountain really saved me by giving up their climb and assisting me, covering me with sleeping bags and making tea while one of them went back down the mountain to meet the rangers coming up. Shock and hypothermia very likely would have done me in that night if they hadn't happened upon us and helped."

"It was pitch dark and freezing cold by the time the rangers arrived four hours later. They strapped me into a litter and had to carry me off the mountain. Unfortunately, the climbing rangers are not EMTs and do not dispense meds. So even though they were doing all of the work on the climb down it was absolutely excruciating for me. It was almost 9 hours between the time of the accident and the time I checked in to the emergency room."

– cjboffoli

The one time I casually got certified as a scuba driver was when I was in Cozumel, Mexico, I almost drowned.

I went exploring in an underwater cave, where I probably shouldn't have gone as an amateur diver. I remember swimming upwards and smacking my head pretty hard on some rock work. I felt like I was about to pass out.

I tried my best not to panic, which probably saved my life. I slowly found my way out of the darkness and eventually out of the waters. I felt dizzy the rest of the day.

Yeah, I haven't gone scuba diving since.

Little girl looking out a window
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Memory can be a funny thing.

There are some memories in which every moment will remain completely vivid in our minds for the rest of our lives.

Others we might remember the context and moments from, but find ourselves a bit hazy on some specifics and details.

Some people have memories like that from their childhood, where they weren't exactly sure what they were remembering.

With a little time, as well as some context from others, discovering what these memories were is sometimes a very rude awakening indeed.

As the only way to describe these particular memories could be "F*cked up."

Redditor Specific_Dimension77 was curious to hear from people with memories from childhood which they learned in adulthood were a bit more unsettling than they realized, leading them to ask:

"What’s something f*cked up you witnessed during your childhood, but didn’t realize the severity of until you were older?"

Unknowingly Complicit...

"My dad and I used to play 'Spaceship”'and to get the spaceship started, I’d have to blow into a tube to hear the electronic beep."

"It was his DUI test to start the car before they started putting cameras in the cars."

"Glad he’s sober these days."- Expensive_Change_893

"Pretty sure when I was 7 I was an accomplice to robbery."

"I was supposed to stay the night at my friend's house."

"Her parents said we're stopping to look at a house real quick."

"I didn't think anything of the adults all black outfits."

"They were still professional."

"I did think it was odd that they had me go through the bathroom window to unlock the door, but they said the realtor forgot to give them the key."

"This was such a beautiful, wealthy home."

"They didn't take anything large, but I did notice the mom leaving with a lot more jewelry on the she came in with."

"She said she left it last time they were there."- prettylittlepastry

Sometimes Its A Blessing When A Memory Gets Foggy

"I was sitting on the couch at 5 yo when my parents started arguing and my mom threw a red book at my dad."

"Just thought it was a fight."

"Turns out it was their pre-divorce fight after my dad caught her cheating."

"Didn’t learn about the cheating until I was 16 and only recently learned it was a brick that she threw at him."- missybeputtinitdown

"To Err Is Human, To forgive Is Divine."

"One of the times my dad left he would send me beautiful letters with the envelope decorated in different cartoons and cute drawings."

"I was maybe 9 at the time and clueless."

"A few years later I realized he would decorate the envelopes to take attention away from the red 'inmate mail' stamp on it."- Smolbeanis

Sense Memory

"When I was about 12, me and dad were walking the dog, when we saw a huge fire at a house at the end of our street."

"My dad was a fireman at the time, so his first reaction was to sprint towards it."

"Naturally, I followed him."

"A crowd of people had gathered around a bus shelter nearby, so I went to see what was happening."

"On the ground was a kid from my school, I think he was 2 or 3 years below me."

"I'll never forget how badly his face and hands were burnt."

"The skin was a strange mixture of charred flesh and fresh blood."

"I just froze for what felt like an eternity before my dad found me and sent me home whilst he stayed to help."

"The kid survived, but it was years before I saw him again."

"He was horribly disfigured as a result."

"I don't think about it much, but every summer we have a barbeque, and the smell of the coals takes me right back to that evening."- Full-Cardiologist233

Privilege Check

"When I was a kid, we took a family trip to Las Vegas and stayed at Circus Circus."

"My mom wanted to get a magnet or souvenir from Caesar’s Palace, so we parked somewhere and went inside."

"I wanna say we might have parked in an area reserved for staff?"

"Or it could’ve been for guests/visitors."

"That part is very fuzzy."

"My parents didn’t care regardless and had never been there."

"When we were walking back to the car and over a sewer grate (the kind with slots) I sneezed."

"A gruff, male voice from below in the sewer said 'bless you!'"

"Being an innocent kid, I said thanks as my parents hurried my brother and I into the rental car."

"Years later as an adult, I watched a documentary about homeless people who live in the Las Vegas sewers."

"In it when they’re inside one of the sewer tunnels, their guide pointed up at a sewer grate above them and said 'you see this?'"

"'This is the parking lot of Caesar’s Palace'.”

"That whole realization that I was there as a kid gave me whiplash."- snickerdoodle_bandit

The Truth Can Really Hurt

'My seventh grade English teacher accidentally gave me a document he had written."

"It was on an old floppy disc he assumed was blank."

"It described how he volunteered with an humanitarian group in the 70's that traveled through impoverished countries and provided free vasectomies."

"They eventually trained him how to do it, and he would do them, even though he had no real medical training."

"This is not even the messed up part."

"He goes on to explain that he decides that he wanted a vasectomy and to do it himself. He then described in very graphic detail how he did it to himself."

"He even said the date, like March 1st, 1981, or something like that."

"He described in detail cutting through things, and how rubbery it felt."

"Again, not the f*cked up part."

"I thought the story was hilarious because he wrote scrotum so many times, and I was a seventh grader."

"Well, I spread the story around to my friends."

"It eventually spread to a parent, that shared it with the school."

"His wife who was also a teacher there, promptly quit."

"Their son who was younger than me, born in the 90's, also left the school."

"He kept his job."

"What I figured out much later was that his wife had cheated on him and had gotten pregnant, but pretended like it was his."

"The f*cked up part is that he obviously knew she cheated, but never told her."

"He had raised the boy as his own son."

"Once she realized he was sterile, and he's known the entire time, she left him and took the kid."

"Had I not shared that story, that kid could have lived his entire life without knowing, and that family could have stayed together."- fredsam25

The Things People Do For Money

"I was sledding with a friend and saw smoke on the horizon."

'His mom came and picked us up."

"It was my 3rd-floor apartment on fire with my mom and grandma (and others) outside in the cold."

"Everyone got out safely, but we couldn't find our cat (until later)."

"My computer and Star Wars collection among so many other things were destroyed."

"We still have the photos."

"Found out later, unknown to her, my mom's BF owned the building and had the dumb a$ manager wack a pipe so he could get the insurance $$."

"My mother has been somewhat of a hoarder since."- determinedforce

Not Trusting Others Cause No One Could Trust Him...

"My parents divorced when I was 3 because my father got another woman pregnant."

"When I was 6, my father took me and my two older sisters (10 and 15 at the time) to 'donate blood'."

"Decades later I’m talking to my mom about it and she reveals it was a paternity test, as my father didn’t believe I was his daughter."

"Test proved I was in fact his."

"Probably should have realized sooner that a 6 is a bit young to be donating blood."- miss-quiche-lorraine·

Some might say these poor people would be better off if they didn't know the truth.

But facing the truth and confronting our demons is sometimes the only way we can move on with our lives.

Even if the memories will never stop haunting us.