Managers Reveal The Stupidest Reason Customers Have Asked To See Them
Managers are not the yes men customers hope them to be, especially when their requests have gone off the rails. You can't ask a hotel to fire Latino workers. You can't demand a restaurant refund your food because your hair was in it. And expired coupons? Use them before they expire. Managers know when people are trying to pull a fast one, and then they will shame you on Reddit.
Hglittle asked managers of Reddit: What's the stupid reason a customer has asked to see you?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Lady, I think you've had enough.
Restaurant manager here.
We provide complimentary bread baskets on our dinner tables. One lady clicked me over (because who doesn't love that?) to tell me I was running the most unhygienic establishment that she had ever eaten in, and that, with her food hygiene level 3 certificate, she could and should have me shut down.
Why the fuss?
There was some "jam" on the bread, and I had clearly taken used breakfast stock and tried to cost cut by serving contaminated bread at dinner. I'd cut the bread not 10 minutes before, burning my hands on it as it was fresh out of the oven, definitely not leftovers.
I apologized profusely yet non committally, removing the offending bread amid increasingly patronizing comments about how I really ought to know how to run a restaurant and that being so thick as to do this blah blah blah...
On inspection, the red blobs of jam we're drips of red wine from the bottle next to the bread basket, that the lady had poured herself.
Needless to say, I wasn't shut down.
Nope.
I've worked in bars for 9/10 years, from a teen, right through uni and manage a bar. This happened when I was supervisor not manager.
Real quiet night, we have a horseshoe shaped bar so when it's quiet like to have one staff member on either end of the bar and one in the middle so all sides are covered and customers are served as quick as possible. The regular customers know how this system works.
The girl who was covering the middle of the bar had gone to the toilet/to collect some glasses or whatever. One of the regulars walks up and I head over to serve him, he refuses my service for no apparent reason. As soon as the girl who was originally there comes back the regular gets angry... "where the f#&k have you been? I've been waiting ages!" She explains whatever the reason was and he's still shouting, I head over and ask him politely to stop shouting and ask him what he'd like to drink (again).
He kept on and on and on, swearing at us both until I told him I wasn't getting a drink for the rest of the evening and to go home or go somewhere else. The guy gets even angrier, and lunges towards me over the bar with a clenched fist. What he obviously didn't pay attention to was the shelves above the bar for storing glasses, THWACK. Guy smashes his forehead straight into the shelf, all the other regulars laugh.
He loses his mind, and asks to speak to my manager (who was in sight of the whole ordeal and keeping a close eye on things), and tries to get him to punish me for causing him a "serious injury." We all laughed in his face and he sure as hell isn't a regular in this pub anymore!
TL;DR: regular customer gets angry for no reason, tries to punch me, whacks his head pretty hard, then asks my manager to punish me for causing him harm.
Ohh...kay...
Used to be front office manager in a hotel. In our rooms we had three phones. One next to the bed, one in the bathroom and one on the desk. This is already a lot but in the past we also had an additional 4th phone on the side table. So one day a customer asked to see me requesting the 4th phone because you could clearly see the telephone socket in the wall (neatly covered) and thus his room was not complete. I asked him why he needed 4 phones in his room, he said because clearly in the past there were 4 phones and that's what he paid for (we didn't advertise online with 4 phones, but i had maintenance bring up a forth phone nonetheless).
Where it this crazy hotel?
(I also managed a hotel)
Front desk calls me and asks me if we have any spare Bibles because room XX is asking for one. I happily oblige and walk it over myself. I apologize and hand it over to the man. Casually ask him if he normally reads the Bible.
"No... I just like to have it. Just in case."
Me: (thinking to myself) Just in case what?! The rapture happens all of a sudden?!
"Oh ok! Good night sir."
Managed a hotel in rural Georgia (the State in the U.S) and I get a call from our front desk clerk saying someone wants to talk to me.
I head over and this woman just wants to inform me that "she was going to stay at this hotel but noticed that we hire 'them Mexicans' (pointing at our housekeepers) so she won't be staying here anymore."
I politely told her they're Guatemalan and that I appreciate her opinion but don't need her business.
This set her off and she proceeded to go on a rant about how she knows the Sheriff and she'll report me for hiring Illegals (they weren't), and how we were racist, ageist, and sexist against her.
I told her to please do so and pointed at the CCTV.
She stormed off and the Sheriff never showed up.
When you try to pull a fast one, and it backfires spectacularly.
I had this insane woman flag me down at a Chinese Restaurant I used to manage.
She very loudly told me she found a hair in her Mongolian lamb, and showed me a long sauce covered blonde hair. For reference, I had short black hair at the time and the entire kitchen and wait staff on that night had relatively short black hair. The woman had long blonde hair.
Instead of letting her cause more of a scene, I apologized and got the kitchen to make her a new serving to replace the meal (even though she and her kids had essentially eaten the entire serving already.)
The part where sh!t started to really go down was when she came up with her family to pay. She refused to pay her ENTIRE bill due to the "HUGE THICK HAIR I FOUND IN MY FOOD" which she loudly announced to the room. At this point, the restaurant owner came out and started having a screaming match with the woman for trying to rip us off. Her kids appeared to cry on cue.
I sent my boss back to the kitchen and said I would figure it out. I turned to the woman and explained calmly that I would be happy to take the Mongolian Lamb off of her tally (despite the replacement serving) so long as she paid the other $90+ for the rest of the bill.
She refused and called the cops because my boss had yelled at her. No joke.
Best bit was the cops ended up telling the woman she needs to pay her full bill and that emergency services shouldn't be called for such petty reasons.
Happy I'm not in that industry anymore haha...
TLDR; Lady tries to use her own hair to get out of paying for her table's food. Aussie Cops provide quality sass.
When a customer doesn't know how beer works.
Because a bartender properly poured a beer. It was Stella in the Stella chalice. It's listed in the menu as 13.5 oz and that's the fill line. Dude asked the bartender to top him off as the head had died down a bit. Bartender does so and the guy wants the head completely poured off. Bartender points out the fill line and says that he can't just pour away beer (head is mostly beer). Customer takes this as attitude.
Dude doesn't like it and comes to me and since I hadn't heard this, I immediately point out the fill line. He ended up returning the beer.
I like to think that he had to go to the bathroom where he would have walked passed that lame 9-step perfect Stella pour poster that we have that specifically references the fill line and that the beer is supposed to have head.
Oh, and I had to spend a solid 5 minutes explaining sales tax and how it applies at a restaurant, but not at a grocer.
All this over half a dollar.
Quite a few years ago I was working at a pizza chain and I had someone call in and ask an employee if we would honor a coupon that was over a week expired. My employee told her that we couldn't honor it but he would ask me. Before he got the chance to ask me she decided to make a big fuss/was fairly disrespectful to my employee and wanted to speak to me about it directly. She complained saying it was only expired by "a few days." I backed what my employee had told her, we wouldn't be honoring it.
About 20 minutes later we got a call from her again and this time I had answered. She didn't make it the whole way through asking if we would honor before I told her the answer was still no. We had caller ID so I knew it was her again.
About an hour after the second call the employee who took the first call comes back to me saying there is a woman at the front of the store who wanted to speak to me about him not honoring a coupon. It was the same expired coupon. She told me that she would be going elsewhere for pizza from that point on because our service was terrible, specifically that not honoring an expired coupon for a loyal customer (I had never seen her before and we had no records of orders from her) was "bad business." I told her she was welcome to go elsewhere.
The ultimate kicker is that the coupon was for 50 cents off any order. It wasn't a big deal and I would have absolutely honored it had she not treated my employee like sh!t on the phone.
Tl;dr - customer was rude to my employee so I wouldn't honor her expired coupon.
I have nothing to add.
Asking me what the showtimes were.
They demanded I come over to guest service where they stood tapping their foot impatiently. Keep in mind I am in another part of the building, so it takes me several minutes to walk all the way there.
I get to guest service and ask them what the issue is. They say "We need to know the show times for today" I give them a weird look, as the box office is literally right outside the doors with a huge marquee displaying the digital showtimes. We also had a huge digital maquee sign on the inside of the building in the lobby displaying all of the current showtimes. It was also a weekday, so it was slow.
"We have the showtimes outside on the display board in box office.." I mistakenly told them.
"Well its COLD outside."
This really baffled me as it was nearly 60 degrees that day and the husband was wearing shorts (60 is warm as I live in the northeast) After reading them some showtimes they got mad "Well don't you have anything right now??"
I told them that no, we did not have anything starting in the next five minutes.
They stormed off without buying any tickets.
Don't know how someone ends up that entitled/stupid and complains about standing outside in spring weather.
Of all the stories on here, this one confuses me most. What did they hope to gain by making you repeat the showtimes? How bored do you have to be to find enjoyment in that, and then not even stay for a show?
There always seems to be a paradox between these people having extremely high standards for the delivery and certain little aspects of the product but extremely low standards on the product itself. She was willing to see any crappy movie that started soon, obviously not some kind of film buff that just flew in from Cannes. Same with these people that have melt downs over fast food, or long lines at them. I witnessed a lady at a very crowded convenience store (surrounded by several nice coffee shops btw) yelling at a busy worker because they were ALMOST out of lids and cream, she was able to get everything but every time he tried to ask her what she needed she yelled "just do your job!"
If you're gonna sneak in, be nice.
Was the casino beverage manager in Vegas and was covering the pool bar manager that day.
It was in the middle of summer and the pool team calls me saying an irate woman wanted to speak to the manager.
I make my way out there in 100F heat, while wearing my suit and tie.
This lady was seated in the VIP area and was complaining that her margarita had melted within 10 minutes and wanted me to give her a replacement as it "melted too fast".
Last I checked, being a beverage manager didn't give me control of the elements nor the laws of thermal dynamics. But, I tried to reason with her that it was 100F and we can't prevent ice from melting (but I sure as hell was melting in the sun with my black suit). She was totally livid and insisted that either we get her a replacement or to put her partially consumed drink back into the blender with more ice. Reblending the drink was never gonna happen as it violates a bunch of health codes.
I turned to the pool manager and asked, "Did anyone verify her VIP status?" as VIP guests have an assigned casino host which would liaise with me directly, or I would know who the VIP guests are during the pre-shift brief.
Long story short, she snuck into the VIP area, so I got security to kick her out of the pool in a blink.
This is wholesome content.
Good ending story,
Was a manager for a Music/game cd store back in 2007-9.
Was called in for an old grumpy man returning a CD which was not working.
He was nearly crying, the CD was expensive. It was all very scratched like it went through sandpaper.
We had a no-return policy after the package was opened, as these were original CD's. He came in claiming that the CD was not working.
We usually tested if the CD, if it played and didn't skip, we just gave it back. I tested the CD it actually played.
After a conversation, it did not work in his car, which was parked just outside the shop.
I went with him, perhaps he was not pressing the wrong button.
After arriving at the car and looking at the stereo, it had no CD player, he managed to jam the CD between the dash and the tape player, it did not play, so he removed part of the dash and took it out, and tried again.
After explaining this to him, he literally was crying.
I was unable to refund the CD under the policy. And the CD actually played because the plastic was damaged, but the top was not.
Thinking he will have a heart attack, and feeling sorry for him, I offered to copy the CD to a Tape, and he can keep the CD for when he gets a CD player.
I copied the CD to a tape, he was happy, and later returned to the shop many to buy tapes, was really friendly to me, saying I remind him of his son who died in the war (while being super grumpy at everybody else) and brought pastry his wife made as gifts every time he came.
TL:DR Gramps stuffed CD in tape player, messed it up, I copied CD to Tape. He became a regular and brought homemade pastry.
What a surprise.
Customer comes to the bar and demands to speak to the manager, won't say why, won't deal with anyone else. He's told I'm not working for another 3 hours and says he'll wait, stands at the bar angrily. Staff call upstairs to me (I live up there) and explain he's just standing there tutting. He realises they're on the phone to me and gets angry because I'm upstairs and won't speak to him.
Went down and asked the problem. "When X ran this pub he used to have Mild on tap for me. You don't. It's disgraceful, what am I mean to drink now?"
I explained that yes, X did stock Mild and when I arrived I audited the stock and realised most of the barrel was getting wasted every week. So I stopped ordering it and switched to an ale that would sell. Dickhead is still angry and says if I order it he'll drink it. I tell him he'll have to drink 9 gallons in 3 days. Still adamant I should order it. So I told him I'd order a barrel, and if it didn't sell he could pay for the wastage.
I got a spare barrel from another pub, tapped it, waited and surprise surprise, he had one pint that week and sheepishly vanished forever.
These people are so annoying.
I worked at a Toyota dealership and a salesman said his customer asked to speak to the manager because Jesus told her that we would provide her with a car. I asked her if Jesus was paying cash or financing. She literally expected us to just go, "Oh ok, well...pick out whatever tickles your fancy!"
As a server I got "Tipped" in Jesus pamphlets every Sunday. I thought about asking them if instead they could pray that Jesus would pay my light bill instead of sending me Bible pamphlets.
The nerve!
Not a manager, but I once had a woman ask me, very rudely, to get her a manager "this instant" because my behavior was "completely unnacceptable."
She'd asked me where something was and I simply said "It's over in (section), I'd show you over but unfortunately I'm tied up with another customer at the moment. Once I'm finished with her I can meet you over there and we can look for it together, or I can call on the radio and see if anyone's able to meet you there sooner."
"It's over in (section), I'd show you over but unfortunately I'm tied up with another customer at the moment. Once I'm finished with her I can meet you over there and we can look for it together, or I can call on the radio and see if anyone's able to meet you there sooner."
Woah woah how the hell do you type these words here? It's the internet, kids can access this stuff!!
The best part is the other customer was with me and as soon as we left the rude one she went "the f*ck was her problem?"
When they think the rules don't apply to them.
I get called over for a price match for a Lego set. I get there, and it's clearly a clearance price from a different location, which is a policy exclusion, of which I inform him.
shows receipt "It's from a different location! You have to honor it!"
"Clearance differs from store to store, but regardless, the price match policy excludes clearance pricing."
"So I'll call customer service and if they overrule you, you'll do it."
I walk away while he makes his call. Of course, he doesn't get his way because the policy is available for literally anyone to read before doing all this horse sh*t.
TL;DR: Just because it's clearance there doesn't mean it is or is going to be here.
Ahh hahahahaha. Damn you physics!
I worked at a marine business for a number of years. I was the head buyer for a long time. One of the things we sold was anchor chain, we sold a lot of chain for boats. We would buy it in bulk and sell it for the same amount as online retailers when you account for shipping. In a lot of cases we sell 250'+ to a single buyer.
I had a customer come in and want to buy 250' of 3/8" chain, this stuff weighed right around 2lbs per foot. He wasn't happy with the price that was listed and asked the sales staff for someone higher up, I was the only one available and had to go deal with this. He pulled up the internet and showed me this place that was 3 states away had it for sales slightly cheaper than what we sold it for. I told him we wouldn't price match and he'd still have to pay shipping. The guy says "No I don't, I'll drive to go get it." Great, go get it.
Fast forward two weeks, guy comes in and I asked about his purchase. Yes, he did buy it and yes he did drive three states away to pick it up in his HONDA CIVIC HATCHBACK. He blew out both rear shocks because the dumbass didn't account for the weight of 250' of anchor chain in the back of a car. It was pure vindication.
He blew out both rear shocks because the dumbass didn't account for the weight of 250' of anchor chain in the back of a car.
I used to work at a lumber yard driving a forklift and I can't tell you how many times someone screamed at me for not putting 2,000 pounds of cement block or concrete in the back of a small S10 truck or loading 700 pounds of lumber on top of a luxury SUV. People are just dumb.
These are the same people who expect you to show up at their house and help unload it for them.
It must be for free and god help you if tell them there will be a delivery charge.
People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.