We all scream for ice cream.

"Go to Doncaster, England, to pick-up an ice-cream van for a friend that he'd bought on eBay while he was in Australia."

"I said yes, and so it began..."

"Firstly he wired me £6000, which I withdrew in cash to pay for it."

"At the time this was the most money I'd ever held so I was a little nervous."

"My girlfriend then drove me down the M1 to Doncaster, and dropped me off at a house with a Pepto Bismol pink ice-cream van in the driveway."

'I knocked on the door and a jolly, gigantic man in dirty overalls opened the door and spent the next two hours with me as I learnt to strip and rebuild the Mr. Whippy ice-cream machine inside the van."

"I was thoroughly unprepared for this."

"I was also unprepared for the machine exploding in my face after loading it with the minimum 4 litres of UHT ice-cream mix."

"With slightly sour milk now liberally coating my clothes, and the light fading, the Friendly Ice-cream Giant talked me through the intricacies of starting and driving a 1973 Bedford ice-cream van."

"The ice-cream machine inside ran off the engine, rather than a generator like most do."

"So there was an elaborate set of linkages that transferred the engine power from the wheels to the machinery when engaged."

"They were also entirely exposed and directly where you would normally put your foot when driving."

"Lovely."

"The engine also didn't start on its own, you had to crack open the bonnet and spray a generous amount of combustable gas directly into the air intake before giving the accelerator a bloody good stomp."

"Fortunately, The F.I.G did this for me. He then let me drive it to the local petrol station to fill it up, during which time he also let me discover that the speedo, windscreen wipers and lights didn't really work."

"Oh, and neither did the fuel gauge."

"And, for some reason, the fuel cap was level with the tank, so you couldn't pump fuel into at more than a dribble or it all ran back out."

"This meant you had no real idea how much fuel was in it."

"But plenty to get it home, I was assured."

"After, sort of, filling it up, struggling to start it, and chugging home at an unknown, but very leisurely, pace, I paid him and we filled in some paperwork."

"At which point he let me know it was untaxed and, contrary to my friends belief, not exempt."

"So I'd be breaking the law driving it home."

"Which I now had to do."

"In the dark."

"With no real lights."

"Did I mention it had just started to rain?"

"But off I set, gingerly traversing the on-ramp to the busiest motorway in the UK, foot to the floor, wind whistling through the various holes in the bodywork."

"I had no idea how fast I was going, but from the waves and gestures I got from passing vehicles it definitely wasn't fast enough."

"I also realized I didn't know how good the brakes were."

"Or what condition the tires were in."

"And it was wet, very wet."

"And the off-ramp was downhill, with lights at the bottom."

"Oh goody, now there was smoke coming from the bonnet."

"By some miracle of agricultural engineering and blind faith I made it back to my flat, and parked the dreaded van in a visitors space."

"Where it sat for the next 3 months, as I gradually ate my way through the industrial sized box of Cadbury's flakes that were going out of date."

"Until my building management lost their sense of humor and forced my friend to come and get it or they'd have it towed away. because once he realized he'd bought a lemon, he was in no hurry to have it become his problem."

"But I'd do it all again."

"The joy you can give kids on boring car journey by hitting the ice-cream tune as they go past is brilliant."- Will-this-do

A real friend puts up with all kinds of sh*t.... literally

"Not something a friend asked of me but something a friend offered to help with."

"Had a lingering smell of rotten sewage in the house."

"Was a bit short on money at the time so I called a buddy who can fix anything to see if he could figure it out."

"He identifies the issue right away and crawls under my house to find a previous owner used drano and must have not done a proper flush so it ate away the main sewer pipe."

"At least 6 months of sh*t, piss, and food was built up that was probably 4 inches deep."

"He went to his truck to put on his boilersuit and crawled through my girlfriends and my sh*t for 2 hours replacing the rotted pipe."

"I was down there with him trying to help however I could but he pretty much did the repair solo."

"Every time he encountered a thick chunk of poo he would yell up through the crawl hole that my girlfriend should ease off on the corn."

"Didn't phase him one bit and he wouldn't accept any form of payment even though I insisted I had to repay him somehow."

"Best friend I've ever had, this isn't the only example I could give about how great of a friend he is but definitely the wildest."

"Dan the man, you the real MVP if you ever see this."- COYFC

"I became friends with a female coworker as I was dating a guy who was friends with her boyfriend at the time."

"She had this weird thing about not pooping around him to the point when they eventually did long distance she would visit him for the weekend and hold it in the ENTIRE TIME."

"We planned a trip together and shared a hotel room with all four of us."

"While her and I were getting ready to go out, she pulled me aside and told me she had to poop so bad but didn’t want to be in the bathroom alone because everyone would know she was pooping."

"She asked me to stay in the bathroom with her while she took a sh*t so it would just seem like we were doing our make up."

"I kid you not, it stank so bad that I’m 100% sure the guy smelled it in the room anyways and we both just looked like weirdos who poo together."- titsout666

But who helped him bury it?

"To 'un bury his boat' no other information was given, I said yes and turns out he thought that burying his boat in one of our cornfields would help protect it over the winter because 'it wouldn’t get snowed on cause it underground'."- EatingH_tlersB_oty

The "big cheese" indeed...

To borrow my truck to 'get the cheese'."

"He drives a Tahoe, I have no clue how much cheese he was getting."- Zpitfire_MK_VI

Keep your property off mine!

"Neighbour asked if they could put a dead rat in our bin because they didn't want to put it in theirs."- HungInSarfLondon

An underground operation gone wrong...

"Back in the old days, had a paranoid friend pay me good money to rent out and dupe porn vhs tapes because he didn't want a record of him renting them out."

"His logic: if he ever became famous he didn't want a record of him renting out porn tapes."

"Postscript: he never became famous."- jacklord392

Was that really the reason?

"Give my friend a hickie to get his ex-girlfriend jealous."- MagicianHairy3459

Who says chivalry is dead.

"A friend in highschool used to call me when she had nightmares."

"I would sneak out my window, wait for her go to her house and hold her while she slept, 6-7 hours."

"Then she would bring me home before my parents woke up."

"Same girl would also ask if it was ok to refer to me as her boyfriend if a guy creeped her out."- FriendshipDelicious8

A plan almost literally for the birds.

​"Alright, pretty tame one here, but it felt weird for the boundaries."

"In High School, a girl I rarely spoke to came up to me one day in lunch and asked for help."

"She was always soft spoken."

"I wouldn't say shy, but very gentle and a little quiet."

"She explained that she had an opportunity to buy a pet bird, a sort of once-in-a-lifetime chance, but she didn't have quite enough money for it."

"At the end of the day, she was asking to borrow $100 for a bird."

"For a High Schooler, a hundred bucks was a sh*tload of money - but... I had been working, and had hidden some bills away to buy something for myself."

"So, being the sneaky (read: not) teenagers that we were, I snuck $100 into school the next day, and very sneakily (read: not) I handed over the envelope to her during lunch break."

"It was like a spy operation pulled off by 6-year-olds."

"I mostly remember feeling anxious that someone would notice and steal it off of her."

"A few days later, she came back and explained that it didn't work out - I don't know what happened, exactly."

"But she gave me back a bunch of bills, I think it was something like $5 short, but I was impressed, pleased as can be, and sympathetic that it hadn't worked out with the bird."

"I'd say that was a pretty good experience all around, though I was sure I was absolutely crazy at the moment for tossing money to someone I never spent time with."

"I ended up dating her niece a year or two later, they were only a year apart in age, though at this point I haven't much spoken to anyone in that family for a long, long time."

"Hope they're all doing well."- xRocketman52x

That she would even ask is strange...

"I started texting a friend of mine, and we keep making plans to hang out, but it just hasn’t happened."

"Anyway, I haven’t actually SEEN her for several years, despite us living pretty close, so as you can tell, we aren’t exactly best friends."

"Her last text to me was that she needed a favor and that she needs someone she can trust."

"I feel kind of bad, but I haven’t responded."

"Why am I, someone she hasn’t hung out with for six years, the person she can trust?"

"I have some of my own stuff going on, and I just don’t think I can mentally take on anything else right now."

"Reading these posts, I’m wondering if any of these favors are like the one she wants to ask of me."

"And possibly looking for validation as I feel bad not responding, but I just have this feeling that no good will come of doing this favor, whatever it is."- screaming_ot_inside

Might want someone with more experience

"For advice for a wedding."

"I was very nervous since I haven’t been to one."- AverageRedditUser965

Routine maintenance...

"To sleep with him so he can know if his d*ck was functioning."- Last-Technician3835

Better friends when at a distance.

"A friend who was toxic but managed to heal, but not before she asked me to send her dad “can [her name] play on the freeway with matches?”

"On the freeway was the name for a game of kicking the soccer ball, which we conveniently named matches, against the wall."

"Dad said yes."

"Friend stopped being an a**hat to me after her dad lost custody of her and she found a new place to live."- deadmemesdeaderdream

An almost unwitting accomplice.

"Not me but my sister."

"Her (now ex) friend has always had a rough life that I don’t know much about, but I know she’s struggled with alcoholism and abusive relationships."

"Really unfortunate and awful stuff."

"She has two boys pretty young, one elementary school age the other a toddler."

"She calls my sister one day and sounds really winded, frantic, asking her to pick her and the boys up because they got in a wreck and she needs the ride home."

"My sister gets there and the car is really banged up."

"Like completely totaled."

"So she’s pulling up on the scene when 4 or 5 cop cars come rolling up, sirens on, full criminal treatment."

"Her friend has driven drunk with her kids in the car, no seatbelts."

"When she got into an accident she took her kids and started running down the street to avoid getting arrested, and pissed herself because she was so drunk."

"She nearly made my sister and accessory and could’ve gotten her charges with some serious sh*t.'

"My sister isn’t the best but she stays away from that kinda stuff."

"Needless to say they don’t talk any Ore and probably won’t ever again, which is sad because they grew up together.''- r43b1ll

Bizarre as many of these favors are, one will effortfully lower their raised eyebrow and muster up the courage to do it, on the assumption that this friend would do the same for you.

Then too, sometimes getting a bizarre request might actually indicate just how good a friend some people actually are...