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Sailors Reveal The Scariest Nighttime Encounter They've Had In The Open Waters

Sailors Reveal The Scariest Nighttime Encounter They've Had In The Open Waters
Mariamichelle/Pixabay

The open ocean can be a terrifying place even in full daylight, but pitch blackness definitely ups the creep factor.

Unable to see your surroundings with miles of the unknown beneath you, it's understandable that most people might be a little jumpier than usual.


Reddit user u/SolaVirtusNobilitat asked:

"Sailors who have spent nights out on the water, what's the sketchiest encounter you've had out there in the dark?"

20.

Off the coast of Jonesport on a WesMac. 3 of us decide to spend the night to get an even earlier start on the lobsters.

Quiet night, low winds, the Milky Way a broad band of light across the sky. Around 2 we all awake at the same time because we hear something really, really long slowly scrape along under the hull. Our beds were about a foot above from whatever it was. We looked at each other in silence. None of us wanted to be a hero and go up to see if there was anything to see. You wouldn't have, either, bud.

-CarlSpencer

19.

US Navy, Petty Officer in charge of Low visibility watch. Watch that is called when you are in the middle of the ocean and there is so much fog you can't see far from the ship. Watches are stationed in different places on a ship, to listen, watch and record any activity. It is to make sure no one sneaks up or we don't run into another ship or boat.

Anyway, I had just made my rounds and making sure everyone was in place and awake because it was middle of the night and pitch black. I was just about to check in with bridge watch and I get a call over the radio from 2 different watch stations. They reported movement in the water but was unable to see what it was, it sounded like something cutting through the water very fast. I called for the watch officer and I was already at the bridge so reported it and went to investigate one station while the officer went and checked the other.

With us posting at each, we both heard it, but could not see anything. The fog was so dense you couldn't see the water line. Two different stations hearing the same thing. (LHA is not a small ship).

We were all tense. We were thinking the worst. Just then a break in the fog reveals that there are huge fish swimming around us feeding on the algae. The algae was luminous and as the fish would swim through, it looked like hundreds of shooting stars in the water. It was beautiful! Even these words can't describe the beauty.

So my report read that it was a huge school of fish. The only people to whiteness it was the people on the watch.

-Snugglebunnyzz

18.

While I was on 31st MEU, one night at like 0100, I walked down the starboard outside gangway that runs from the Marine maintenance shops, to the gym on the starboard side. It's about 150' feet long, and since we were in blackout conditions, it was pitch black outside.

About 2/3 the way down, there was this "Cwhiz" part of the defense system, that sticks out off the gangway so the hand rope cuts out through there.

As soon as I let go of the rope to grab the wall on the opposite side, the ship, which was in otherwise calm, flat water, decided to suddenly drop 10' as if it ran across another ships wake.

As I struggled to hold on, I swear I could feel something pulling me, almost as the ship suddenly rocked 45 degrees and I was getting shaken off like water on a dog.

Once it recovered, and I got my footing, it was back to flat, calm water. I blindly scrambled as fast as I could to the end, got inside and no one knew what bump I was talking about.

Mind you this is a several hundred ton warship and home to thousands. If there was chop; we'd know.

Nevertheless I took the interior passages after that.

Edit: apparently it's "CIWS" not "Cwhiz" but I'm going to leave it for comment continuity. Too many acronyms.

-Sporkeldee

17.

Not a boat or sailor, but back in 2014 I did a lot of IT work on off-shore drilling rigs during their final construction phases. Basically, after the rigs went through most of their construction, I would be flown out there for a day or two to get all of the general networking and systems up and running. This included verifying the microwave data link back to shore.

Now this was only about 10-20 miles off the CA coast, but it's still as dark as you can imagine out there. It's even quieter than normal because during this phase, there is maybe only one or 2 other people on board. Typically an electrician and a general foreman or similar. Sometimes only one of the two.
Anyhow, I was working on a rig about 20 miles out from Long Beach CA. I was going through some rough relationship issues at the time and wasn't in a great place mentally or emotionally.

We didn't have internet on the rig at this point so I was pretty bored and caught up in my head so I decided to go take a walk.
I ended up on the helipad smoking a cigarette and just looking at the stars. About 2 minutes later I almost crapped myself or jumped out of my skin. Maybe both.

As I was sitting there, a very small Asian man tapped me on my shoulder from behind. He was wearing a high-vis vest and white construction helmet. He asked me for a cigarette and where the closest bathroom was. I gave him one and pointed him in the right direction. Didn't really think twice about it.

Walked back down to the living quarters and passed the foreman on the way. Told him about the guy I gave a smoke to and he stopped walking and immediately turned around. Told me no one else was on this rig but him and I.

I ran to the IT closet where they kept their security camera storage appliance but our PoE switch wasn't installed yet. No video. Nothing.

We turned on every light source possible on the rig. Did a basic walk through but found no one or any traces of anyone.
We also contacted our transport company which also always typically has a search and rescue team available. They flew over 4 SAR and 2 security personnel. They did a walkthrough of the entire rig. Every possible inch they claim. Took almost a full day. Never turned up.

Still get a bit creeped out thinking about it. If given 3 wishes, one of them would be to know who/what that was and where they went.

-TrustyChords

16.

So I'm a US Navy guy. We were somewhere in the Pacific and it was warm so I am assuming the Indian ocean, this was circa 2004. I worked nights and it's supersizing how quiet an aircraft carrier can be at night.


On this night there were no flight operations and about 80% of the crew is asleep, no one even-thinking about flying around. The sea wasn't too rough that day, however I do remember the sound of the random thuds of slightly larger waves. So, at about 1am we decide to cut through the hanger bay to lunch. There were two guys in-front of us. I could see them moving in back and forth in a "s" type pattern meaning the ship was rolling gently port to starboard (left to right). As the two guys in-front of me "S" snaked toward the open aircraft elevator door (side door about 50x40ft).

I could see the top of a wave coming right at us. That wave had just decided to join us in the hanger bay. The bottom of the wave hit with that vibrating thud, the top of the wave sheered off and rolled right in to the hanger-bay. Knocking over the two guys and as it turned from a wave into a puddle, the wave decided to return to the ocean sucking the two guys out toward the dark ocean.

Fortunately one sailor stopped short and the other managed to grab on to the post and wire that loosely guard the elevator door opening.
That was 100% sketch!

-bazooka_matt

15.

I was on a friends boat in the San Fransisco Bay a good number of years ago. It was well past dark and I was enjoying the ocean breeze leaning over the gunwhale. All of the sudden something black exploded out of the water while cutting loose this slobbery snarling "BLAARRRRRGGHHH." All I saw was a flash of crazy sharp fangs sillouhhetted by a black greasy looking mass before it crashed back into the water.

After everybody came running to see why I was screaming and crapping my pants it was explained to me that I probably saw a sea lion jump out of the water in suprise at the boat passing so close to it.

-Victor117

14.

More weird than sketchy, but squid fishermen. Hundreds of them with white lights in the middle of the night and in the middle of what we thought was no where. They were small boats so we saw the lights well before we saw them on radar. Kind of freaked until we got closer and realized what they were.

-kevintheguy7

13.

Underway, early March in a snowstorm, well east of Cape Cod, moderate seas and ship is rocking pretty good. We lose power and go beam to the seas. Except for emergency lighting, which was not much because our battle lanterns were garbage, and personal mini mag lights, it's dark as hell at times. The worst part? You could hear the creaks and groans of the ship. It was intensified when the ship would take longer than normal to right itself. It made the ship seem much older than it was. At times like those, I would say to myself, "should've went to college, dipsh*t!"

-CarlosAVP

12.

Not really an encounter but we had a man over board at 2am, 8 days into a 21 day sail from the Galapagos to Polynesia. Really heavy weather and couldn't snuff out parasail and someone came forward without being clipped on and got knocked over board. Took us about 25 minutes to get them back onboard and 3 hours to sort out the lines etc.

In terms of encounters, huge groups of luminous jelly fish are pretty weird to see at night. Curious whales/dolphins are really cool.

Probably the sketchiest is coming close to container ships during the night, those things don't change course unless it's essential.

-fkdwithapineapple

11.

When you're in the middle of the ocean and realise that if you got dumped in the water it is likely that no one would even notice you missing for a while and it's a big f**king ocean to go looking in for one guy.

-Zdrack

10.

50-odd miles offshore on a sailboat, pitch black. Suddenly we hear a loud "CRACK" and the boat shifts an inch to port. Then silence for twenty minutes followed by another loud "THUMP" and boat shudder. Made our way quickly back to the coast. In dry dock there was a 2 foot diameter dent in the hull.

I'm guessing a sleeping whale.

-Onion01

I heard what I'm assuming is a whale breaching while it was pitch dark.

It'd be cool if I could see it, but at night when I have no idea what's out there it was kind of spooky. Sounded like a lot of water shifting around and big splashes in the dark. I don't see what else it could've been.

-WooIWorthWaIIaby

9.

Two situations:

I was on a tanker somewhere in the middle of Indian Ocean. Graveyard watch, fairly good weather, good visibility. I notice a lighthouse light ahead of me, looks far but it is very distinct, flashes rhythmically, quite bright. I check the Radar, nothing. I check the chart nothing for at least 400 miles. I continue to observe until it just stops abruptly. Freaked me out a bit.

Waters near philippines, quiet watch, few fishing boats in the area. Suddenly i notice a very faint light dead ahead of me, looks very very far, nothing on radar, can barely see it. I thought i have some time until it shows up on Radar but something was telling me to alter course to starboard. So i did and 1 minute after the alteration i was passing a tiny fishing boat by about 200m with one guy with a sh*tty torch on board. If i didn't act on my instinct i would have ran him over.

-wolf8668

8.

The actual dark. It is pitch black out in the middle of the ocean. That can be quite unnerving. On the upside on cloudless nights the night sky is breathtaking.

-liesbuiltuponlies

The water is also breathtaking as well.

-kilo240

Yeah but that's on the downside.

-CommentCalligrahpy

7.

Full disclosure, this is not directly sailing related. But I am a sailor and have a creepy night time ocean experience to share.

While guiding a night dive once, we had a massive female seven gill shark follow us for the whole dive, just occasionally coming into our visibility before darting off.

She was probably just curious of our lights or maybe using them to hunt but it was just really unnerving to know she was around but unable to see her.

That being said, I love sharks, and she did us no harm. They're usually super chill and not to be feared. But you can't help but respect any predator bigger than you are who while it follows you around in the dark.

-scuba_jesus

6.

Out at sea at night no moon, pitch black. I'm talking shootin the sh*t with a shipmate and out of nowhere whap!!!! The loudest slap I have ever heard. My buddy literally screams. WTF!!!! A flying fish, right in the face. That was 40 years ago. I'm still laughing.

-stoutone12

5.

Sailing just a couple miles off the Norwegian coast, in an old 14' dinghy all by my lonesome. Well, «sailing» is the wrong word; I was drifting in near zero wind, barely making a knot of headway. That's why I was still out there; I had planned to spend the night on a small island but getting there took forever and it got pitch dark.

No matter, I was safe enough and it was kind of nice to have the nighttime ocean all to myself, not a ship in sight anywhere. I had oars and could have rowed to my destination in an hour or so but didn't feel like there was any need to hurry (had left the outboard motor ashore because of hunting laws against shooting from a motorized vessel, and I was going after migrating geese). At my position it was calm and quiet, but all around the horizon I saw flashes of lightning so far off that I heard no thunder.

As I relaxed and enjoyed the quiet spectacle of distant lightning, all of a sudden I heard someone or something draw a laboured breath right next to me. It was unmistakably the sound of breathing, like from a half- strangled person taking a deep breath of much-needed air. Not gonna lie, I briefly panicked before I realized it had to be some marine mammal surfacing for air close to my boat. Guessing it was a harbour porpoise as they are common here, but I never saw it in the darkness.

Heard it again a few times, sounded like it moved further away and there may have been more than one based on the frequency. Of course sound carries far at night, but it really did sound like that initial breath was right behind me, close enough to touch.

Shortly after the breathing sounds disappeared, the wind picked up out of nowhere and I had to scramble to adjust rigging. Made it to the correct island and made landfall about 20 minutes later, having gone from idly drifting on the current to skipping over the waves in a few heartbeats. I guess that distant storm dropped by to say hello.

-BoredCop

4.

Coming through a part of the Mediterranean with a lot of oil platforms, at night, I was conn, one of the other ensigns was JOOD, and our Navigator was OOD. Nav ducked into the chartroom, so it was just me and the JOOD when we saw what looked like another oil platform on the horizon. Only it wasn't showing up on either of our radars, it wasn't on the chart, and the laser rangefinder wasn't working.

So the two of us are watching this thing get closer and closer, and we were about to call the captain up to the bridge (JOOD had just picked up the phone) when Nav walks back into the pilothouse, takes one look at the two of us freaking out and goes "...you guys know that's the moon, right?"

The quartermasters left that one out of the deck log.

-rielephant

3.

Not a sailor, but I was once on a small research vessel for 37 days.

I don't know the specifics, but we were about half way into our trip when we lost all power. It was night, and I was woken up my people shouting and loud banging. It wasn't panic or danger, it very clearly sound like frustrated problem solving and crankiness.


Anyway, it's f**king black. Everything is pitch black. There some emergency safety lights here and there, but it's mostly just red indicators with small strobes at the bottom of doorways.

People are walking around below deck setting up wind up lanterns, taping flashlights to water bottles (makes a nice lantern) and trying to figure out what's going on.

It's dead quiet except for what noise we are making. No current. No waves. No wind. No moon. We are in the middle of nowhere. Black and silence. It was deafeningly silent.

Grabbing my head light I make my way up to the rear deck. It was like walking into a wall of nothing.

I've never felt so out of space and disoriented. My head light illuminated the deck and the sky was brilliant with stars. It truly is amazing to be out there with no light and just the unimaginable vastness of space. The thing is, my head light messes with my night vision.

So I turned it off as I look out to the black horizon, where it ought to be. Shouldn't take long for my eyes to adjust and then I'll be able to make out the shimmer of starlight refracting across the calm waters.

The ships lights flicker on and my star gazing is cut short. Sucks. Holding the railing while walking back to the cabin door, the lights cut out again. I keep walking.

I feel, for a moment, the most intense disorientation overwhelm my senses. My eyes only see black. The briefness of the ships lights was enough to close down my irises. My inner ear, already uneasy from weeks on the sea, spun and flips as upper back smacked into the water.

I was overboard and it felt like forever entering that water. The panic of immersion and no direction. I flailed and I was underwater, cold and black.

That was probably one of the worst experiences I've ever had.

The ships lights came back on as I found the surface. I'm sure it was only seconds, and it was only minutes until I was hoisted out of the water and it was years ago yet everyone still won't let me forget that time I fell overboard.

Cool.

-ergotronomatic

2.

This happened in 1986, my wife and I were two days out of the Azores headed to Newport, RI. We were in our 60' Dutch built wooden trawler bringing it to the USA. It was green.

It was a gorgeous night, 1/4 moon, gazillions of stars, big pod of dolphins playing in our bow wake, phosphorescent seas all around us, flying fish bouncing off the cabin. Our wake was visible for at least a mile behind us, glowing in the night.

That night I had the Middle watch, about 0330 I decided that since there were no running lights on the horizon and we were 200 miles south of the shipping lanes that it would be OK to turn our running lights off so I could really enjoy the spectacular light show Mother Nature was providing. Even woke the wife up early so she could see the light show outside.

About 5 minutes later an American voice booms over the radio; "Will the green fishing boat please turn your lights back on!". They didn't answer my question asking who they were.

There were no boats visible anywhere. No wakes, no glow! To this day I don't know who made the broadcast. When the sun came up there were no ships in sight.

300+ miles from the nearest piece of dirt, someone was watching us!

BIG BROTHER IS EVERYWHERE!

-jarhead1968

Highly doubt it was a sub, they aren't going to break radio silence for something that minor.

Willing to bet a Navy P-3 saw you while they were out on patrol and decided to mess with you/"enforce maritime law". They usually flew out of either Rota or the Azores IIRC back then. They can fly far enough away from you that you won't hear or see them while still seeing you with their optics. Guessing they saw you turn the lights off and thought "hey, watch this!" because the majority of those patrols were/are incredibly mundane and boring.

-coinisinmyrocket

1.

I was onboard the USS Rueben James in 2012. I was standing watch in combat and decided to take a smoke break on the starboard side wind break at 3am. It was cloudy so almost pitch black. I had gone down at this time on many occasions and there are usually 1 or 2 other people up that late going out for a smoke break. When I got out there I could see nothing but the cherry of someone else's cig. I face outward and leaned on the break and lit my camel gold and asked how his night was going, having no idea who I was speaking to but figuring I would find out when I heard his voice/description of his night.

I got no response.

I turned around to see if he had heard me and with my eyes adjusted I would have been able to make him out leaning against the steel wall. As I turned around the moon cracked out from the clouds and slightly illuminated the small confined area I was in and the only 2 directions anyone could have walked away. There was no one there. I was alone. I had seen the cigarette and the exhale of smoke from someone on that wind break but no one was there and no one could have left the smoke deck without my hearing or seeing them. I don't believe in ghost or the afterlife or any of that nonsense but needless to say I didn't stick around outside for long.

-wtfpwn97

Have you ever had a freaky experience on the open sea at night?

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?